what is the funniest insult you have ever heard?

Summer wind

Yeah keep spreading rumours it makes a change from spreading your legs.

Charlie19

Justin Credible Darts wrote: »

my alltime favorite

go fuk yerself

If you dont like using swear words, You could always use the clean version 'go finger yourself'

For that stingy person you know. 'Your so tight, you only breath in'

greedygoblin

The following scene from True Romance (not for the faint-hearted):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3yon2GyoiM

bodhrandude

greedygoblin wrote: »

The following scene from True Romance (not for the faint-hearted):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3yon2GyoiM

Absolute class, I seen another film recently on RTE called Suicide Kings from the 1990s too, Walken plays a kinda similar Mafia character.

greedygoblin

bodhrandude wrote: »

Absolute class, I seen another film recently on RTE called Suicide Kings from the 1990s too, Walken plays a kinda similar Mafia character.

Must check that out. Great actor.

--LOS--

A classic from the mother....


She's not fat but she's the full of that dress anyway

deafroadrunner

Your like a snooker table. your getting it from all angles.

blinding

A put down to a liar

"I would't believe your radio "

Autonomous Cowherd

They are two cheeks on the same arse.

worded

From father ted. Ya fecker, yah bolix etc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_h5ICMmfasw

A cow called Daisy

ProudDUB wrote: »

Back in the day, Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor had a particularly heated debate in the House of Commons. He wouldn't budge on a particular point of order.

In sheer frustration, she told him " Winston, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your tea ! ".

To which he replied "Madam, if I were your husband, I would happily drink it."
I
Always thought it was an effing deadly put down.

Think it was also Churchill who, when some woman said to him
"Mr. Churchill, you are drunk" to which Churchill replied "and you my dear woman are ugly....but in the morning I will be sober:D

knucklehead6

You blithering idiot.

Not too mean but it lets the recipient know EXACTLY what you think of them.

Sinister Kid

You're like the heel of bread, everyone has feel but nobody wants you...

mick121

yo fcukface,your to much of a cnut to be a prick

Summer wind

What have you done? Besides everyone.

"Jeez, for a fat bird you don't sweat too much..."

On a similar theme, "you look great, the bit of weight suits you...."

McChubbin

Always liked Gunnery Sargent Hartman's classic:
"The best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass!"

BmCon

Ye have a vagina like a badly packed kebab.

Jawgap

So thick, he couldn't empty a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

You f€cking Dolphin!!

He'd be out of his depth in a puddle

Suck devilcock in hell you f@ggotdwarf

......and one directed at me that really stung - "disappointing Dad"

RobbingBandit

If the dictionary was a picture book your face would be beside idiot.

Miss Demeanour

If wit was sh*t you'd be constipated..........

RebelButtMunch

"A hop-on-me-thumb fookpig"

bodhrandude

greedygoblin wrote: »

Rereg = someone who has closed their account and re-registered with a new name.

I also thought a rereg was someone who was banned from posting in a particular forum and they reregistered a new name to get around the ban to continue posting. The sexy street harassment thread attracted a lot of them who kept rereging to troll the thread.

Summer wind

You are like the bumper cars. Everyone gets the ride.

whupdedo

I can't call you a cnut because a cnut has some use

The tide wouldn't take her out

If there was work in the bed, hed sleep on the floor

She has an arse like a square bale

He'd peel an orange in his pocket the mane bsatard

He'd ate an apple out through a letter box

I wouldnt ride her is she was fitted with pedals and handlebars

Sky King

'He's a one-man shower of c unts.'

getzls

Gerry Adams calling me a bastard!

getzls

Gerry Adams calling me a bastard!

anewme

about a small man.......


he could walk under a bed wearing a tall hat............

eviltwin

In response to being called fat: the reason I'm fat is because every time I **** your da he gives me a biscuit.

Do you have a big dick? Then why don't you bend over and go **** yourself.

eviltwin

Another great one courtesy of Ross O'Carroll Kelly. "If we were stuck on a desert island and all we had was a jar of frankfurters, I'd eat you and use the sausages for sex"

The other fella

"You have a face like a bag of spanners"

"You have a head like a foot"

"The hack of ya".

KomradeBishop

Right Turn Clyde

I once heard a woman tell a lad that he looked like a knacker. He replied with "you look like yer man that works in Supermacs." I don't know the guy from Supermacs, but she looked seriously offended.

Rtg78

I'm not saying that you are a slut, I'm just saying that you've been banged more times than first pipe on flappy bird!

rolliepoley

Your ma has so many wrinkles, she has to screw her hat on.

e_e

You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

tough_rudder

From the person you least expect.

Reporter: what do you think of western civilisation?

Gandi: I think it would be a good idea

The Corinthian

"Somewhere, in an attic, there's a painting of you getting smarter."

"Please don't breed."

"She speaks five different languages, yet can't say no in any of them"

"He has a face that one would never tire of punching"

My favourite though is one attibuted to Churchill:

Aristocratic Lady: "Mr Churchill, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "Yes madam, and you are ugly. But tomorrow I'll be sober."

Molester Stallone II

My brother said to a very overweight women who annoyed him,
"You're the finest two women I ever did see"

Hoop66

I like to call/tell people:

"A mule-faced dung-fucker"

"A piss-gargling buffoon"

"Climb off your dad's dick and wheel yourself into a shit-filled canal"

"I could not have put it better myself. I certainly could not if I were you" - Christopher Hitchens.

ElWalrus

"Arse like a fiddler's elbow" mentioned regarding someones dancing technique.

"Could eat an apple through a letterbox" - Someone with unfortunately protruding front teeth.

Mrs Fox

Molester Stallone II wrote: »

My brother said to a very overweight women who annoyed him,
"You're the finest two women I ever did see"

This reminds me of my FIL when I first met the OH's family.
"Have you met cousin Eamonn's bird? You won't miss her, she's the size of two birds"

Gannicus

Kesly wrote: »

I am particularly fond of putting nouns in front of the word c*nt.
Swampc*nt, Thunderc*unt etc...

After is always good too.
C*ntbucket
C*ntrag
and so forth

Summer wind

She wouldn't run too well on soft ground.

Irishcrx

Was playing a match a few weeks ago and one of the defenders off the other team was trying to have a go at our striker, as you do...but...

Him: 'Shut up ya white bastard'

Confusion...as everyone playing is white.

' ****in casper ya are'

Eh......rriiiggghhtt...

spiralism

I saw a loaf of bread in the shop and it reminded me of you until i saw that it actually said "thick cut"

Saipanne

May you live forever.



(Only works if directed at people with **** lives)

Barely There

May your children have small penises

- even the girls.