Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Trigger Happy wrote: »

We all know that the first sign of the kid getting the trots you would be outta there faster then snot exiting a babys tear duct.

Nice baby though.

I changed her!! I'll admit it was a hose down job, and I didn't look inside the nappy. I give her baths. She likes my baths better than her Mams baths because we have water fights and her mam doesn't let her splash. I sit on the stairs with her and go downstairs on our bums. I let her draw on my face. She's the best!

OldNotWIse

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I was never a great one for changing nappies, a typical conversations was like,
Mrs E "Can you not smell that"
Me "No, I checked a minute and ago and he/she was fine"
Mrs E " fcuken liar"

But I would bath the kids for Ireland, loved doing it, all that baby bubbles etc............

I might a chat this evening, maybe we will go again:D

Oh yeah, I forgot, I am firing blanks now.

That would terrify me. Babies can drown in like an inch of water or something. So many horror stories about people who leave for 5 seconds to get a towel and the kid manages to do himself in in that time Do you just have to be really organised and have everything lined up and within arms reach? That's another problem with kids. It's as if the little feckers have self destruct buttons or something. There is danger everywhere. The bath, the internet, choking hazards, meningitis, traffic, weirdos, bullie, drugs etc. Actually, has anyone got a pill?

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

...I sit on the stairs with her and go downstairs on our bums...

I love that.

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

That would terrify me. Babies can drown in like an inch of water or something. So many horror stories about people who leave for 5 seconds to get a towel and the kid manages to do himself in in that time Do you just have to be really organised and have everything lined up and within arms reach? That's another problem with kids. It's as if the little feckers have self destruct buttons or something. There is danger everywhere. The bath, the internet, choking hazards, meningitis, traffic, weirdos, bullie, drugs etc. Actually, has anyone got a pill?

Calm down! As a species we seem to have managed for 50,000 years or so!

Menas

jimgoose wrote: »

I love that.

I dont. I have a skinny arsed arse so bumping down the stairs with my 4 year old on my lap hurts!

jimgoose

Trigger Happy wrote: »

I dont. I have a skinny arsed arse so bumping down the stairs with my 4 year old on my lap hurts!

Dr. Goose prescribes some conditioning. Start with a gallon a' porter followed by three quarter-pounders with extra cheese'n'bacon.

Boom_Bap

teach them to do it on thier belly

Menas

Boom_Bap wrote: »

teach them to do it on thier belly

In a shiny sleeping bag!

Whooosh!

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It's so funny, she's 2 now and she's getting so good at talking. She takes my hand and says " 'mon" all coy, and leads me up stairs, sits on the top step, taps it with her hand and says 'mon!'...

Ah yes, Toddler-speak for "Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!" :pac:

Vel

When you miss the last step when walking down stairs. The momentary panic is heart attack inducing

jimgoose

Trigger Happy wrote: »

In a shiny sleeping bag!

Whooosh!

Coooool Runnings!!

eisenberg1

OldNotWIse wrote: »

That would terrify me. Babies can drown in like an inch of water or something. So many horror stories about people who leave for 5 seconds to get a towel and the kid manages to do himself in in that time Do you just have to be really organised and have everything lined up and within arms reach? That's another problem with kids. It's as if the little feckers have self destruct buttons or something. There is danger everywhere. The bath, the internet, choking hazards, meningitis, traffic, weirdos, bullie, drugs etc. Actually, has anyone got a pill?

Ah,you get thru it, especially if you have a good parent to lend a hand now and then. When my son was a kid he was a nightmare, always coming home dripping blood, he fell out of a tree once and managed to impale a branch in his eyeball, on a school trip to a petting zoo, he got bitten by a donkey. We were in FOTA one time ( he was maybe six) turned my back for a second, and he comes charging out of a bush, being chased by a very angry wallabee, he said he did'nt kick it. The list goes on....:D

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

...he comes charging out of a bush, being chased by a very angry wallabee, he said he did'nt kick it. The list goes on....:D

That's one of the better ones. "Well if my son says he didn't kick the wallabee then he didn't do it!!" :pac::pac::pac:

OldNotWIse

Vel wrote: »

When you miss the last step when walking down stairs. The momentary panic is heart attack inducing

Or when you think you've another step to go but you don't

Vel

Having an itchy palm! Scratching only seems to make it itchier

OldNotWIse

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Ah,you get thru it, especially if you have a good parent to lend a hand now and then. When my son was a kid he was a nightmare, always coming home dripping blood, he fell out of a tree once and managed to impale a branch in his eyeball, on a school trip to a petting zoo, he got bitten by a donkey. We were in FOTA one time ( he was maybe six) turned my back for a second, and he comes charging out of a bush, being chased by a very angry wallabee, he said he did'nt kick it. The list goes on....:D

I just hope it doesn't get too many of my genetic self destruct genes. I was caught on the kitchen floor eating firelighters one day. I still love the smell of them. I drank windolene (presumably believing it to be pink champagne) and was caught swigging chardonnay at the age of five. Managed to go through the felt garage roof when climbing out the bathroom window and crossing to our neighbour's bathroom window seemed a much more acceptable way of gaining access to see my friend than simply using the front door. My brother was even better, he got distracted cycling down a hill and went face first into the back of a parked van. The dentist knew the colour of the van, not because he'd been present but because there was blue paint on the stumps of his teeth

Vel

I was at the hospital this week with my daughter and a good portion of the doctors were much younger than me. That's becoming a consistent theme in my life now whereby people in professions like teaching, medicine etc. who you would look up to when you were a kid or teenager are now all younger than you.

MsBubbles

Vel I'm only 39 but I look at the young doctors/police officers/teachers And I feel old

Boom_Bap

Vel wrote: »

I was at the hospital this week with my daughter and a good portion of the doctors were much younger than me. That's becoming a consistent theme in my life now whereby people in professions like teaching, medicine etc. who you would look up to when you were a kid or teenager are now all younger than you.

My sons teacher i would say is about 10 years younger than me. And I'm only in my early 30's.
She gets a pass because she is a fox. I *had* to do a cycle-a-thon with her at the weekend. One word. Jeggings.

OldNotWIse

Vel wrote: »

I was at the hospital this week with my daughter and a good portion of the doctors were much younger than me. That's becoming a consistent theme in my life now whereby people in professions like teaching, medicine etc. who you would look up to when you were a kid or teenager are now all younger than you.

Which reminds me of another TA. When you wonder why they are dressing kids in suits now and then realise that the "kid" is in his twenties

MsBubbles

Boom_Bap you wore your Jeggings AGAIN !

Vel

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Which reminds me of another TA. When you wonder why they are dressing kids in suits now and then realise that the "kid" is in his twenties

The 'suits' these annoyingly young doctors all seemed to be donning involved tight jeans and beards, which made it even worse as while we were speaking about serious things all I could imagine was bumping into them in the latest popular hipster hangout on South William Street

Boom_Bap

MsBubbles wrote: »

Boom_Bap you wore your Jeggings AGAIN !

Not that time.....she was wearing some. Glorious.

I'm going to be slipping into mine in about 15 minutes thought for an oul prance by the canal.

MsBubbles

Vel I find Hipsters trivally annoying

Vel

Men who wear pink shirts. They are, invariably, total c*ckheads

Vel

Boom_Bap wrote: »

My sons teacher i would say is about 10 years younger than me. And I'm only in my early 30's.
She gets a pass because she is a fox. I *had* to do a cycle-a-thon with her at the weekend. One word. Jeggings.

I bet she had plenty of the dads, or mums who are that way inclined, frothing at the waist!!

One eyed Jack

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Which reminds me of another TA. When you wonder why they are dressing kids in suits now and then realise that the "kid" is in his twenties

The other day my son asked me "Why don't you wear something less boring? You should wear something colourful like a yellow tracksuit"...


Sometimes I can't tell when he's being serious and when he's just trolling

Driving me barmy recently with that irritating twerking move he's copied off the guy in that money supermarket advert :mad:

Vel

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Which reminds me of another TA. When you wonder why they are dressing kids in suits now and then realise that the "kid" is in his twenties

I always have a giggle at 'that' guy who thinks he's rocking the corporate look but actually looks like a Tranisition Year student on work experience, in an ill-fitting shiny suit that his mum bought him, ironed for him and physically helped him put onthat morning, before sending him on his way with a packed lunch

MsBubbles

Just got a sales call asking for the md, When I asked what the call was about he said the md will know me, eh no he won't cos you didn't ask for the md by name. .
I asked what his firm did and he hung up. Listen Kiddo I'm doing this job 22 years I can smell a billy bullsh!ter.

OldNotWIse

MsBubbles wrote: »

Just got a sales call asking for the md, When I asked what the call was about he said the md will know me, eh no he won't cos you didn't ask for the md by name. .
I asked what his firm did and he hung up. Listen Kiddo I'm doing this job 22 years I can smell a billy bullsh!ter.

Which reminds me of this: "Can you put me through to someone who makes decisions"

?????

MsBubbles

ONW That drives me insane. Sometimes I accidentally cut them off

eisenberg1

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Which reminds me of this: "Can you put me through to someone who makes decisions"

?????

"Em, I am not sure if I can, can you hold while I ask someone?":D

Pumpkinseeds

Programmes that remind you of you're lost youth. Been watching Cucumber and Banana on Channel 4 and it reminds me of my wild youth, even though I'm straight:D Makes me feel very middle aged to be a cucumber and not a banana any more.:(

skittles8710

TA - The TA thread getting hi jacked by parent and baby talk

Aglomerado

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Which reminds me of this: "Can you put me through to someone who makes decisions"

?????

I decided to have porridge instead of cornflakes this morning.

How can I help you?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Vel wrote: »

When you miss the last step when walking down stairs. The momentary panic is heart attack inducing

Likewise missing the last rung of a ladder. Why does that last piece feel like it's 5ft when you're stretching for the ground?

deise08

Feeling sick after physio
Was supposed to go test drive a car now in bed with electric blanket. Cos I'm so whacked after it

eisenberg1

Jaxen Curved Shaver wrote: »

Likewise missing the last rung of a ladder. Why does that last piece feel like it's 5ft when you're stretching for the ground?

I fell off a forty foot ladder once, I was fine, lucky I was only on the second rung:D

Vel

MsBubbles wrote: »

Vel I'm only 39 but I look at the young doctors/police officers/teachers And I feel old

I'm only 35!:eek:

Rubberlegs

Every time I reached into the trolley at the checkout today , the buttons on my jacket clattered off it in such a way that it sounded like I was playing the xylophone:(

Vel

People being surprised that the 50 Shades of Grey movie is a pile of sh1te.

Badly Drunk Boy

Amazingly, considering my username, I've only ever had to get my stomach pumped once. I was 18 months old and had crawled into the neighbour's garden, when I decided to drink from an unattended open tin of paint. The paint was white.

MsBubbles

Vel we're only childer

Rubberlegs

Vel wrote: »

People being surprised that the 50 Shades of Grey movie is a pile of sh1te.

Oh it's going to be so cringeworthy!! I'm only going along as there is food involved. I'll probably TA everyone with my sniggering:)

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

When I was two, I was my dads shadow. We were on the farm, the tractor was on, he was putting diesel into it, and I saw a thing spinning around. This thing was a fan belt. And I thought it would be fun to catch it. The top of my ring finger got cut off and I have a disfigured finger now but at least still have my hand. Got caught in a bale escalator but it only tore my tshirt before my dad untangled me from it. Got head butted in the face feeding a calf from a bucket and broke my nose. Fell out of a bucket of a jcb. Got my ankle caught under a bale lifter 2 years ago. You'd wonder how kids on farms aren't killed

MsBubbles

Lexie what the hell were you doing in a bucket attached to a Digger ?

Menas

MsBubbles wrote: »

Lexie what the hell were you doing in a bucket attached to a Digger ?

A farmers cradle. Duh!

MsBubbles

What the hell is a farmer's cradle ? Trigger

Zanablue

MsBubbles wrote: »

What the hell is a farmer's cradle ? Trigger

I would like to know what a farmers cradle is as well?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

MsBubbles wrote: »

Lexie what the hell were you doing in a bucket attached to a Digger ?

Me and my brother wanted a lift in one