Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

eisenberg1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Yeah, Dr E. I have an extra awesome gland where my shame gland should be. As you can imagine, it causes many problems. Advice?

Same as prescribed to Moses, go up a mountain and get two tablets:D

Your shame gland may need a second opinion.

MsBubbles

DR E are you a GP ?

eisenberg1

MsBubbles wrote: »

DR E are you a GP ?

Of course, sure already I can diagnose you have an eyesight problems and/or a hearing problem, cos I already answered that. This is why I dont tell anyone. Question after question, even when out with Mrs E, someone will come up to me "Ah, I know you are not on duty, but could you take a quick look at this, it;s been dripping all evening" or "Frank was at the doctor already, but could you give a second opinion?"..."Why of course, Frank is a gob****e, how about them apples? fifty quid please"

Next

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Of course, sure already I can diagnose you have an eyesight problems and/or a hearing problem, cos I already answered that. This is why I dont tell anyone. Question after question, even when out with Mrs E, someone will come up to me "Ah, I know you are not on duty, but could you take a quick look at this, it;s been dripping all evening" or "Frank was at the doctor already, but could you give a second opinion?"..."Why of course, Frank is a gob****e, how about them apples? fifty quid please"

Next

You're like a breath of fresh air, bah. "Dr. Fred Finagle up the road diagnosed me with a case of the Guatemalan Galloping Plumsack-Rot, but I'd really like a second opinion!" "Why sure! I'll give you a second, and a third. I think the afflicted plumsack should be removed quare lively, with a Vise-Grip. Also, you're a cunnox!" :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA plum sack!! "Touch me again and you'll be pulling your plumsack off your tonsils".

Colser

Mother of God!:eek:Desperately trying to remember if eisenberg said hes in Cork..Tf**king A

eisenberg1

Colser wrote: »

Mother of God!:eek:Desperately trying to remember if eisenberg said hes in Cork..Tf**king A

I am in oil and commodities;)

MsBubbles

jimgoose wrote: »

You're like a breath of fresh air, bah. "Dr. Fred Finagle up the road diagnosed me with a case of the Guatemalan Galloping Plumsack-Rot , but I'd really like a second opinion!" "Why sure! I'll give you a second, and a third. I think the afflicted plumsack should be removed quare lively, with a Vise-Grip. Also, you're a cunnox!" :pac:

Jim you are hilarious. Better that my big monkey aids mickey rot

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I am in oil and commodities;)

Mmm. Johnson's Baby-Oil and silicone, eh? :pac:

One eyed Jack

Colser wrote: »

Mother of God!:eek:Desperately trying to remember if eisenberg said hes in Cork..Tf**king A

Now all I can think is -

"Chesticle enhancement or gooter re-alignment..." :eek:

Bad enough Lexie has me thinking about "shave or dye" grey gooters


Think I need to book myself in for a lobotomy

jimgoose

One eyed Jack wrote: »

...Think I need to book myself in for a lobotomy

Step this way, sir. The rubber mallet is warming up as we speak, in fact I think those steaks should be tenderized by now. :cool:

eisenberg1

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Think I need to book myself in for a lobotomy

I can do them, no bother, I can call round:D

Mrs Flynn is back, she said the suppositories I gave her were useless, she may as well have shoved them up her arse.

Some people.

Colser

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Now all I can think is -

"Chesticle enhancement or gooter re-alignment..." :eek:

Bad enough Lexie has me thinking about "shave or dye" grey gooters


Think I need to book myself in for a lobotomy

No allignment needed here OeJ ...:D

MsBubbles

Dr E how much for a Hoo haa ectomy ?

Boom_Bap

I have an itchy foot. I know that if I take off my runner to scratch it, the itch will go away just as I get there.
Then as soon as I get my runner laced back up, mr. itch will return.

MsBubbles

BB TA by Mmm Bop going round in my head again after I read your posts

eisenberg1

MsBubbles wrote: »

Dr E how much for a Hoo haa ectomy ?

I dont do those, but I can refer you to my Harley Street colleague, the eminent Doctor Ivan Chopabolikov, he also does strapadictomies.

MsBubbles

Dr E Lol.

Colser

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I dont do those, but I can refer you to my Harley Street colleague, the eminent Doctor Ivan Chopabolikov, he also does strapadictomies.

His sister lives round here...Dr Ita Langer:pac:

Boom_Bap

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I dont do those, but I can refer you to my Harley Street colleague, the eminent Doctor Ivan Chopabolikov, he also does strapadictomies.

Does he wear this -> http://image4.spreadshirt.com/image-server/v1/products/17934741/views/1,width=378,height=378,appearanceId=1/I-m-Not-A-Gynecologist-But-I-ll-Take-A-Look-2-T-Shirts.jpg

eisenberg1

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Does he wear this -> http://image4.spreadshirt.com/image-server/v1/products/17934741/views/1,width=378,height=378,appearanceId=1/I-m-Not-A-Gynecologist-But-I-ll-Take-A-Look-2-T-Shirts.jpg

You know those blokes you meet in the pub, you mention an ailment and its all "Well, I am not a doctor, but.."

No ****!!, you are wearing paint splattered overalls, and you are in the pub on a Monday afternoon.:D

Colser

eisenberg1 wrote: »

You know those blokes you meet in the pub, you mention an ailment and its all "Well, I am not a doctor, but.."

No ****!!, you are wearing paint splattered overalls, and you are in the pub on a Monday afternoon.:D

Well Im not a gynaecologist but I will have a look...:eek: feck off boi

MsBubbles

eisenberg1 wrote: »

You know those blokes you meet in the pub, you mention an ailment and its all "Well, I am not a doctor, but.."

No ****!!, you are wearing paint splattered overalls, and you are in the pub on a Monday afternoon.:D

Feck off you Langer ! I wouldn't let you look at my TV

Boom_Bap

I normally go with 'Well I'm not a doctor, but I am a Bachelor of Science' :cool:

eisenberg1

MsBubbles wrote: »

Feck off you Langer ! I wouldn't let you look at my TV

Is it a 28inch Bush?:eek:

The younger wans wont have a clue about this.

MsBubbles

Nope a 21 inch Pye

Aglomerado

MsBubbles wrote: »

Nope a 21 Pye

Does it come with a hairial?

(this thread is sustaining me for laughs today!!)

MsBubbles

Aglomerado No it came with a dish

Pumpkinseeds

Sinn Fein and the whole Irish language bolloxology. So some of the local Nordies are using social networking to publicise that one of the Sinn Feinn MP's is refusing to speak anything but the Irish language to her European parliament colleagues during Irish week, not that I even knew that we had such a thing as Irish week. I do wish these idiots would fcuk off. She knew fricking well what her job description was before she took it on. I guarantee she isn't forgoing her wages that week. Pissing and moaning that they can't speak Irish everywhere. Pfff, these **** would have us all living in huts living on potatoes if they could.:mad:

eisenberg1

Aglomerado wrote: »

Does it come with a hairial?

(this thread is sustaining me for laughs today!!)

No, it has Rampant Rabbits ears:D

Boom_Bap

Just seen this on the gif thread. Suitable for here me thinks

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=94266132&postcount=8018

Aglomerado

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Just seen this on the gif thread. Suitable for here me thinks

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=94266132&postcount=8018

Little bollocks got what he deserved!!

jimgoose

Aglomerado wrote: »

Little bollocks got what he deserved!!

A good lesson well-taught, I'd say: Don't make a ballacks o' yesel'! :pac:

whiskeyman

People Asshats who start to enter a lift before you exit it.
Probably the same people who act in the same manner for a bus / train / luas etc...
If you do this, you shall end up eating a sizeable chunk of my well broad shoulder as I plough through you.

OUTTAMYWAYMUTTHAFUKKERS!!!!

OldNotWIse

whiskeyman wrote: »

People Asshats who start to enter a lift before you exit it.
Probably the same people who act in the same manner for a bus / train / luas etc...
If you do this, you shall end up eating a sizeable chunk of my well broad shoulder as I plough through you.

OUTTAMYWAYMUTTHAFUKKERS!!!!

Their counters are equally annoying. The ones who are already in the lift (lurking God only f.ucking knows where) and after you've waited a few seconds for the lift to clear and satisfied yourself that it's empty, you step in only to be met by some buffoon who has f.ucking materialised from nowhere trying to get out past you.

sibby

People giving out to me because you can't eat meat today and I had a ham sandwich..... they aren't even religious! What's the point in that?!!

Captain Chaos

sibby wrote: »

People giving out to me because you can't eat meat today and I had a ham sandwich..... they aren't even religious! What's the point in that?!!

I'm going home to cook a fillet steak, 3mins each side with a bit of blood still oozing out of as it hits the plate. If I'm going to hell I'm going to enjoy myself while I'm here.

MsBubbles

Ash Wednesday always makes me want chipper dinner

Boom_Bap

whiskeyman wrote: »

People Asshats who start to enter a lift before you exit it.
Probably the same people who act in the same manner for a bus / train / luas etc...
If you do this, you shall end up eating a sizeable chunk of my well broad shoulder as I plough through you.

OUTTAMYWAYMUTTHAFUKKERS!!!!

There is an office block that I visited in Nairobi alot in the past, you haven't experienced lift rage until you've been in that set of lifts.
They are supposed to be smart lifts where you press the floor number before entering, but that goes out the window when everyone presses every floor to try to bypass the smartness.
Then there is the scrum in and out of the lift.
Then there is the heat in a jam packed lift that is going to visit every floor, but is going to be smart and visit the floor with the most button presses.
Then there is the random builder in the building with a bucket or cart of 'something' that forces his way in.
And then there is everyone talking on thier mobile phones. Everyone.

Colser

Aglomerado wrote: »

Little bollocks got what he deserved!!

Its the mother should have got it the dope:mad: I hate parents who let their kids carry on like that..muppets

MsBubbles

Colser I was thinking the same thing why didn't the woman with the child stop him ?
Free Range Children

Colser

MsBubbles wrote: »

Colser I was thinking the same thing why didn't the woman with the child stop him ?
Free Range Children

Some people dont realise that we dont all find their kiddies endearing..I find it difficult to tolerate my own at times not to mind anyone elses..When i hear people saying.. ah please stop doing that now honey/sweetheart/darling ect my blood boils..just tell them STOP and mean it!!!

One eyed Jack

Boom_Bap wrote: »

There is an office block that I visited in Nairobi alot in the past, you haven't experienced lift rage until you've been in that set of lifts.
They are supposed to be smart lifts where you press the floor number before entering, but that goes out the window when everyone presses every floor to try to bypass the smartness.
Then there is the scrum in and out of the lift.
Then there is the heat in a jam packed lift that is going to visit every floor, but is going to be smart and visit the floor with the most button presses.
Then there is the random builder in the building with a bucket or cart of 'something' that forces his way in.
And then there is everyone talking on thier mobile phones. Everyone.

Jesus it'd be some bastard would fart in that lift! :pac:

Speaking of bastards, I couldn't help myself earlier when I was on my way into the hospital and some idiot in a car was going mad on the horn, I looked around to see who was he beeping at before I realised 'twas a mate of mine trying to get my attention.

This is the fella that got married there about two weeks ago, so I said I can't avoid him now (he's an awful habit of bigging himself up, nice chap, but full of shìt really so he makes me laugh :pac:). And he's telling me all about the honeymoon and all the rest of it when he goes "We dropped a grand in the hotel", meaning of course that they spent a grand. Knew well what he was at so I just replied like an idiot -

"You really should be more careful dropping money like that, someone else could have picked it up and you'd be down a grand"...

His poor face was priceless, gone from big 'n' boastful to "not quite sure does he understand"... :pac:


I would never advocate playing dumb under normal circumstances, but sometimes, it's an acquired skill when you really couldn't be arsed listening to someone waffle on

Zanablue

MsBubbles wrote: »

Colser I was thinking the same thing why didn't the woman with the child stop him ?
Free Range Children

I have to say I love that saying "Free range children"

Colser wrote: »

Some people dont realise that we dont all find their kiddies endearing..I find it difficult to tolerate my own at times not to mind anyone elses..When i hear people saying.. ah please stop doing that now honey/sweetheart/darling ect my blood boils..just tell them STOP and mean it!!!

I know its feckin annoying, I would be so embarrassed if my children acted like that. They get told to stop or they face my wrath if they don't, then I get parents saying "god your blessed, your children don't carry on at all" they would if they were let. I think more parents need to take responsibility for their free range children.

Frigga_92

I really just can't be in public right now because I would've picked up that toddler trolley and beat the mother over the head with it.

eisenberg1

Captain Chaos wrote: »

I'm going home to cook a fillet steak, 3mins each side with a bit of blood still oozing out of as it hits the plate. If I'm going to hell I'm going to enjoy myself while I'm here.

The assumption that everyone in Ireland is a law abiding catholic ( I consider myself in recovery).

"Oh, did you not get your ashes?"
"No"
"Oh, are you getting them later?"
"No
"Oh, I have some the priest gave me, will I give you some"
"No"
"I'll say a prayer for you"
"Or you could just piss off"

OldNotWIse

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Jesus it'd be some bastard would fart in that lift! :pac:

Speaking of bastards, I couldn't help myself earlier when I was on my way into the hospital and some idiot in a car was going mad on the horn, I looked around to see who was he beeping at before I realised 'twas a mate of mine trying to get my attention.

This is the fella that got married there about two weeks ago, so I said I can't avoid him now (he's an awful habit of bigging himself up, nice chap, but full of shìt really so he makes me laugh :pac:). And he's telling me all about the honeymoon and all the rest of it when he goes "We dropped a grand in the hotel", meaning of course that they spent a grand. Knew well what he was at so I just replied like an idiot -

"You really should be more careful dropping money like that, someone else could have picked it up and you'd be down a grand"...

His poor face was priceless, gone from big 'n' boastful to "not quite sure does he understand"... :pac:


I would never advocate playing dumb under normal circumstances, but sometimes, it's an acquired skill when you really couldn't be arsed listening to someone waffle on

Was class on his wedding gift list? Oh no wait...you can't buy that :rolleyes:

KatW4

I won't disguise my happiness... I am finished in the Gaeltacht!!!!!!!

I have a TA though so I won't be banished! I have to wait until 9 to be collected

OldNotWIse

KatW4 wrote: »

I won't disguise my happiness... I am finished in the Gaeltacht!!!!!!!

I have a TA though so I won't be banished! I have to wait until 9 to be collected

Eugh! I managed to dodge that bullet when I was a teen! NEver saw the appeal.

MsBubbles

ONW me too. Never saw the attraction plus it was expensive.