Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What's a womb card? Do you get a stamp every time you have a baby? :pac:

It's like a tachograph. You can't put more than eight hours on it in one day, and using it while tired or drunk is a big no-no!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

It made these tiny little fists and was changing colour. I thought he was choking. Until I realised he was probably pooping. I imagined it up his back and all so I moved it a little bit away from me, feeling kind of bad incase he was actually choking.

Frigga_92

Oh jaysus babies that small are terrifying. One wrong move and you could actually crush one of their limbs.

MsBubbles

Lexie I'm surprised you couldn't smell the poop I love cuddling a baby but handing it back to its Mammy afterwards so they can deal with the poopy nappies and 3 am feeds. Actually the 3 am feeds wouldn't be a problem if my insomnia is in full swing

OldNotWIse

jimgoose wrote: »

It's like a tachograph. You can't put more than eight hours on it in one day, and using it while tired or drunk is a big no-no!

Do you have to pull over and have a mandatory 45 minute break during every shift?

Are there ahem....load restrictions?

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It made these tiny little fists and was changing colour. I thought he was choking. Until I realised he was probably pooping. I imagined it up his back and all so I moved it a little bit away from me, feeling kind of bad incase he was actually choking.

Why didn't you check the colour? I'm dying to know if it's actually green! I'm still holding out hope that BB was joking...

Menas

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Why didn't you check the colour? I'm dying to know if it's actually green! I'm still holding out hope that BB was joking...

What do you want, pictures of the nappy?!!

Aglomerado

26sdrawkcab wrote: »

Yeah, like one of the horrible ones that you only smell when they're on special offer in Homestore+more like Fluffy Towels or Wedding Day.

Or Christmas Turkey Farts! :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Why didn't you check the colour? I'm dying to know if it's actually green! I'm still holding out hope that BB was joking...

He wasn't lying. I checked with 4 different people about the colour of their child's dumps and it was a unanimous verdict.

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Do you have to pull over and have a mandatory 45 minute break during every shift?

Are there ahem....load restrictions?

You can pull over and have a 45-minute shift during every mandatory break if you like. Large loads of pipe should be <ahem> "secured"...

OldNotWIse

jimgoose wrote: »

You can pull over and have a 45-minute shift during every mandatory break if you like. Large loads of pipe should be <ahem> "secured"...

What about your load, can you dump it at any time or do you have to wait til you've checked the height restrictions?

Vlad Dog Putin

Hen pecked men who lift toilet seat, real man leave seat down and sprinkle with piss, how we laugh in mother Russia at feminised euro man

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

He wasn't lying. I checked with 4 different people about the colour of their child's dumps and it was a unanimous verdict.

I don't lie when it comes to poop talk.

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What about your load, can you dump it at any time or do you have to wait til you've checked the height restrictions?

Unauthorised dumping of loads shall be punished by fine and/or imprisonment, whichever is the greater. Height restrictions usually only apply at loading bays usually reserved for exit.

OldNotWIse

Vlad Dog Putin wrote: »

Hen pecked men who lift toilet seat, real man leave seat down and sprinkle with piss, how we laugh in mother Russia at feminised euro man

Wants to make Russia joke....doesn't want to get site banned.....

*twitches*

MsBubbles

jimgoose what's the regulations regarding protective equipment ?

Pumpkinseeds

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

dafuq, where?!
I could have picked some up for my mother, brownie points and she'd think I was being all holy or something!

Outside Debenhams and Penneys.

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

jimgoose what's the regulations regarding protective equipment ?

Personal Protective Equipment, or "PPE" should be worn on the head at all times, while assuming the standard Disaster Recovery position, i.e. curled up in the foetal position in the nearest corner, whimpering "Mumsie!!"

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Is PPE compulsory?

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Is PPE compulsory?

Only if you have it. If not, it's Glesgae-Style, i.e. in wi' the boot an' in wi' the heid!

eisenberg1

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What's a womb card? Do you get a stamp every time you have a baby? :pac:

No, you have to swipe it.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

http://tinypic.com/r/67pldg/8

This should be in the what makes you happy thread but I don't want to offend my eyes. I got a present from my crazy Russian friend for being the best manager she's had, AWW

eisenberg1

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Wants to make Russia joke....doesn't want to get site banned.....

*twitches*

Russian condom aka a little riding hood:D

Vlad Dog Putin

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I got a present from my crazy Russian friend for being the best manager she's had, AWW

in russia we call this type person осел lick. send to gulag

jimgoose

Vlad Dog Putin wrote: »

in russia we call this type person осел lick. send to gulag

In Soviet Russia, forum troll you.

Vel

Receipt in one hand, tasty danish in the other. Tasty danish lobbed straight into bin while receipt is lifted towards the mouth. And it was one of those solar compactor bins so I couldn't even fish it out if I was so desperately inclined. The rage.

MsBubbles

Vel noooooooo !

Menas

Vel wrote: »

Receipt in one hand, tasty danish in the other. Tasty danish lobbed straight into bin while receipt is lifted towards the mouth. And it was one of those solar compactor bins so I couldn't even fish it out if I was so desperately inclined. The rage.

When that happens you are best of going home, closing the curtains and climbing in to bed!

Vel

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Me,

I am kinda handy in the kitchen, and am currently on a bit of a curry binge, so making a lot of Indian food (From scratch), I have piles of spices, seeds, leaves and jars of stuff, which stink the gaff up no end. To avoid spillages like you mentioned, and to keep the aroma to a minimum, I put everything in two large plastic storage boxes, and keep it in the utility room.

I was made do that:D

Yeah, I live with someone who fancies himself as a bit of an Atul Kochhar (hence the coriandar seeds), when in reality he's more Uncle Bens when it comes to curries!!

selous

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Russian condom aka a little riding hood:D

Money for condom machine.....Johnny Cash??:rolleyes:

MsBubbles

Eisenberg1 I bloody love Indian food, will you come and cook for me please ?

eisenberg1

MsBubbles wrote: »

Eisenberg1 I bloody love Indian food, will you come and cook for me please ?

Get yourself over to the Indian Restaurant Curries thread, and see Curry Addict's recipes. Really are as good and better than you get dining out.

It changed my life.;)

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

All day I've been getting splashed with stuff that reminds me of sperm. I had oats for breakfast and lunch and both times I spilled the excess liquid on myself. Then during a facial, I tore open a mask and the contents of it shot right out at me, landed on me the bed and the floor. Corrupting my innocence

Menas

LexieOnRale wrote: »

All day I've been getting splashed with stuff that reminds me of sperm. I had oats for breakfast and lunch and both times I spilled the excess liquid on myself. Then during a facial, I tore open a mask and the contents of it shot right out at me, landed on me the bed and the floor. Corrupting my innocence

Three money shots in one day. Impressed.

MsBubbles

LexieOnRale wrote: »

All day I've been getting splashed with stuff that reminds me of sperm. I had oats for breakfast and lunch and both times I spilled the excess liquid on myself. Then during a facial, I tore open a mask and the contents of it shot right out at me, landed on me the bed and the floor. Corrupting my innocence

Get thy Durty mind out of the gutter AlexandraonRale

Rosie Rant

Scrubbing graters and colanders. The food seems to just stick to them.

Secondary TA - not owning a dishwasher.

selous

Why isn't there a Irish B&Q website, very hard to price things from the U.K site, grrrrr.

Menas

Broadchurch. Just fckin find him guilty already and end the series.

MsBubbles

Trigger every time I see your posts I want to type 'all right Dave ?'

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Waiting ten stinkin months to find out who killed Lucy in eastenders and so underwhelming good lord

Menas

MsBubbles wrote: »

Trigger every time I see your posts I want to type 'all right Dave ?'

Want to change my user name. Any suggestions?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Baby smeller?

The Diabolical Monocle

Fvcking hate the way they close the petrol station door at night and you have to order your stuff through the window.

To order another human being around a shop at 11pm through plexiglass to get you the right sized twix is just dehumanizing for all involved.

tomwaterford

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Fvcking hate the way they close the petrol station door at night and you have to order your stuff through the window.

To order another human being around a shop at 11pm through plexiglass to get you the right sized twix is just dehumanizing for all involved.

why not just go to tesco

Pumpkinseeds

Bad mannered teenagers. I was out for a walk earlier and 3 lads aged about 14 or 15 started getting all gobby and arsey with me, I've no idea who they were. Anyways, the gobbiest one went too far so I called him a cheeky bastard, to which he responed with a string of abuse, including 'you ugly bitch', to which I replied, 'that's what strangers say to your mother once she's finished sucking their cocks'. Little prick deserved it, he didn't have anything to say after that funnily enough. Very brave harassing a woman on her own at night.:mad:

tomwaterford

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Bad mannered teenagers. I was out for a walk earlier and 3 lads aged about 14 or 15 started getting all gobby and arsey with me, I've no idea who they were. Anyways, the gobbiest one went too far so I called him a cheeky bastard, to which he responed with a string of abuse, including 'you ugly bitch', to which I replied, 'that's what strangers say to your mother once she's finished sucking their cocks'. Little prick deserved it, he didn't have anything to say after that funnily enough. Very brave harassing a woman on her own at night.:mad:

brilliant :pac::pac::pac:

jimgoose

tomwaterford wrote: »

why not just go to tesco

I don't know about the DM, but I would rather spend twelve months hanging by my plumsack in a Viet Cong prisoner-of-war camp with Miley Cyrus on loop over the tannoy than go to Tesco.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I love tesco, wandering around looking at the toys, the photo frames, smelling candles, smelling washing up liquid, lenor, shower gels, floor cleaners. Be high as a kite before getting to the cashier

jimgoose

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Bad mannered teenagers. I was out for a walk earlier and 3 lads aged about 14 or 15 started getting all gobby and arsey with me, I've no idea who they were. Anyways, the gobbiest one went too far so I called him a cheeky bastard, to which he responed with a string of abuse, including 'you ugly bitch', to which I replied, 'that's what strangers say to your mother once she's finished sucking their cocks'. Little prick deserved it, he didn't have anything to say after that funnily enough. Very brave harassing a woman on her own at night.:mad:

Probably not expecting the Nice Lady to let rip like a wounded Dutch pirate. Bravo!

tomwaterford

jimgoose wrote: »

I don't know about the DM, but I would rather spend twelve months hanging by my plumsack in a Viet Cong prisoner-of-war camp with Miley Cyrus on loop over the tannoy than go to Tesco.

oh...I always found it grand...late at night no one about...just go in and get your bits and flake out again...wouldnt dream on goin when its busy like!!