Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

http://s2.postimg.org/pb9voyent/image.jpg
It's from yesterday, from the Cattle saga but how pretty?

OldNotWIse

Trigger Happy wrote: »

I fell asleep on a train heading down the country once. When I woke there was this hot chick sitting opposite me. I gave her a wee devilish smile (as you do) and she grimaced.
Then I realised that when I was sleeping I had also been dribbling. I got off at the next stop in shame.

I nodded off a number of years back on the bus and wound up resting my head on the shoulder of the poor guy sitting next to me. He was too polite/terrified to move away or say anything. The mortification when I woke snuggled up beside him. He was damn hot too. I'm such a clíche sometimes. If my life were a movie it would go straight to DVD. :rolleyes:

OldNotWIse

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Morning MsB!

TA cos you guys all seem to have got snow, all we got down here is mucky slush that ruined my shoes, had to clean them off with loo roll when I got in... and now I know what that second bin is for.

It was for mucky stuff alright, just not loo roll, nearly knocked myself out with the whiff :pac:

What were you doing in the ladies? We've talked about this

MsBubbles

Lexie the collie is gorgeous .

Morning One Eyed Jack. Are you a Twin Peaks fan ?

Boom_Bap

rainbow kirby wrote: »

TA'd that I seemed to be incapable of getting out of the bed this morning, which means I need to do both a run and a strength session this evening rather than getting one out of the way before work.

I have a battle fit class tonight that I am dreading. I haven't been doing much strength and conditioning work, mainly running, football and cycling (and throwing ze kids about the place). So I'm dreading the aches tomorrow.


I fell asleep on a train to Cork one time on a pretty girls shoulder.
When I woke up there was a huge wet patch on her shoulder, I started to apologise and try to wipe it off her for some reason which made me more of a creep.
I offered her sweets. All was cool after that.

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I have a battle fit class tonight that I am dreading. I haven't been doing much strength and conditioning work, mainly running, football and cycling (and throwing ze kids about the place). So I'm dreading the aches tomorrow.


I fell asleep on a train to Cork one time on a pretty girls shoulder.
When I woke up there was a huge wet patch on her shoulder, I started to apologise and try to wipe it off her for some reason which made me more of a creep.
I offered her sweets. All was cool after that.

Usually the creeps offer you sweets first...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

http://s24.postimg.org/malwpv1et/image.jpg
He is though isn't he

TA my healthy eating is getting so much easier and I fear people may have been right all along.

MsBubbles

Lexie what a beautiful dog. I love Collies

One eyed Jack

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What were you doing in the ladies? We've talked about this

Shared bathroom, TA that I have to share actually. I'm always clean anyway, but I'm fierce paranoid that I leave the place spotless for the ladies... they on the other hand seem to have no such qualms... it's before breakfast, so I won't...

MsBubbles wrote: »

Lexie the collie is gorgeous .

Morning One Eyed Jack. Are you a Twin Peaks fan ?

Been a couple of years MsB, but that brings back memories -


http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/One_Eyed_Jacks


Pity they don't make stuff like that any more, it used be shown on Bravo, right after Red Shoe Diaries, another great show

MsBubbles

ONJ I used to love both shows . TA spent the last 20 minutes trying to find the H&S man gave up my break to run around the building trying to find him, his mobile was on silent

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What were you doing in the ladies? We've talked about this

TA: The notion of separate rest-rooms for men, women, wheeled persons, people from Leitrim, etc. What about one, yes one, adequately sized and equipped facility that caters for human beings, like most people have in their houses? How did people cope psychologically at all at all, at all, in the old days (which weren't that old, by the way) when everyone shat into a hole in the ground out behind the pig-house?? :pac:

OldNotWIse

Day 11. I feel the old tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...

Hair getting softer and silkier, dewy skin, lips getting fuller... looking at poor unsuspecting sods out of the corner of my eye.... The 80 foot fertility monster cometh to steal the swimmers..... Take cover!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

The ladies toilets are the best place for DMC when you're full of vodka. Wouldn't be the same with boys allowed in

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

The ladies toilets are the best place for DMI when you're full of vodka. Wouldn't be the same with boys allowed in

I'm going to regret this but what's DMI? (afraid to google anything that rears it's er...head in the TTTAY thread)

Menas

What is DMI? Is ONW about to jump on a man?
Why dont I understand women?

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

The ladies toilets are the best place for DMC when you're full of vodka. Wouldn't be the same with boys allowed in

Daimler Motor-Company? Death-Match Classic??

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Sorry DMC, I wasn't paying attention.
Deep meaningful conversations

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Sorry DMC, I wasn't paying attention.
Deep meaningful conversations

Have you ever actually spoken to a man? We may be dimly aware of a droning sound coming from the corner, or one of the cubicles. If so, we will assume that there is an issue with the air-conditioning. :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

It's no fun going to pee by yourself when you're drunk. The more the merrier. Usually it's 3 to a stall.

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It's no fun going to pee by yourself when you're drunk. The more the merrier. Usually it's 3 to a stall.

Fine. That demented multi-pitched squealing is probably a spun bearing somewhere. I'll sort it out later, there's no need to keep reminding me every six sodding months, woman!

Menas

TA that I am now trying to figure out how three drunk lassies can manage to squeeze in to one stall and each pee successfully without making a right mess....
The physics dont work!

OldNotWIse

Trigger Happy wrote: »

TA that I am now trying to figure out how three drunk lassies can manage to squeeze in to one stall and each pee successfully without making a right mess....
The physics dont work!

And don't forget we have to hover too

eisenberg1

jimgoose wrote: »

Fine. That demented multi-pitched squealing is probably a spun bearing somewhere. I'll sort it out later, there's no need to keep reminding me every six sodding months, woman!

Imagine a man propping up a bar with four of his mates, on their fifth pint, and says "Lads, I am off for a slash, anyone want to join me?":D

Maximus Alexander

OldNotWIse wrote: »

And don't forget we have to hover too

Wait, girls can hover? :eek:

Boom_Bap

It's amazing the contrast between men and women in the jacks.

Women cram into a cubicle and yammer away about the issue de jour and hover like magicians/illusionists.

Men give a quiet nod to each other at the urinal without eye (or member) contact while silently judging who has the stronger stream.

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Imagine a man propping up a bar with four of his mates, on their fifth pint, and says "Lads, I am off for a slash, anyone want to join me?":D

Doesn't happen. The correct announcement, as you know, is "Ay-oop, there goes the seal. I'll be like Niagara Falls the rest of the evening. Better out than in, wha'??"

Menas

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Wait, girls can hover? :eek:

Not in my house they cant. I am the only one who knows how to use the Dyson.

OldNotWIse

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Wait, girls can hover? :eek:

Well the "don't sit down!" is bet into us from a young age. In fact even now if I am out with Mam and we wind up using a public toilet she'll invariably shout out same from her cubicle, which is excruciatingly mortifying. So, there's the squat. Need pretty strong thigh muscles to master it though

MsBubbles

Jim I call it the FFP First Fatal Pee.

eisenberg1

jimgoose wrote: »

Doesn't happen. The correct announcement, as you know, is "Ay-oop, there goes the seal. I'll be like Niagara Falls the rest of the evening. Better out than in, wha'??"

Yes, and then your mates discuss the possibility of you being gay, because you went for slash before the sixth pint:D

jimgoose

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Wait, girls can hover? :eek:

With a determination that would shame Bruce Lee. Ever wonder where many of them get those wonderful leg-muscles? :pac:

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Yes, and then your mates discuss the possibility of you being gay, because you went for slash before the sixth pint:D

"The Bermuda Blue shirt, three slugs to a pint - it's all adding up! Jaysis, poor Jim!!" :pac::pac::pac:

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

It's amazing the contrast between men and women in the jacks.

Women cram into a cubicle and yammer away about the issue de jour and hover like magicians/illusionists.

Men give a quiet nod to each other at the urinal without eye (or member) contact while silently judging who has the stronger stream.

Women's bathrooms never really lose that sense of comradery. I've been in the work bathroom before company functions and come out feeling like employee relations have already been improved

MsBubbles

ONW I think you were chatting up the ladeez

Rosie Rant

Pfft, hovering is for amateurs - toilet seat wipes all the way!

TA'd that the last 2 jars of Nutella that have come into the house have been rock hard. It's supposed to be spreadable! I have to sit the jar in warm water to soften it or use a hot knife. Basically it means waiting longer for my nutella. I think I'm re-discovering an old addiction. Curse you Pancake Tuesday! Curse you Ferrero with your enticing "Pancakes Love Nutella" stickers on top of your jars. Rosie loves Nutella!!

Colser

OldNotWIse wrote: »

And don't forget we have to hover too

I know that Im drunkies when I dont hover...:pac:

fruttituttii

Rosie Rant wrote: »

Pfft, hovering is for amateurs - toilet seat wipes all the way!

TA'd that the last 2 jars of Nutella that have come into the house have been rock hard. It's supposed to be spreadable! I have to sit the jar in warm water to soften it or use a hot knife. Basically it means waiting longer for my nutella. I think I'm re-discovering an old addiction. Curse you Pancake Tuesday! Curse you Ferrero with your enticing "Pancakes Love Nutella" stickers on top of your jars. Rosie loves Nutella!!

TA'd that when I tell people I hate Nutella and coke, but more so Nutella they think I'm crazy

eisenberg1

Some people are just born, out and out bastards, put on this earth to drive me fcuken demented. that seems to be their sole purpose in this life. f.ucking canutes, the lot of them. I hope you end up working as a pox doctors clerk, ya jumped up little pri1ck!!


Carry on.

One eyed Jack

fruttituttii wrote: »

TA'd that when I tell people I hate Nutella and coke, but more so Nutella they think I'm crazy

Wellll, I wouldn't say you're crazy, but... a little odd perhaps

Reminds me of another TA though -

People that when they make me a coffee, they think I can't tell the difference between two and three spoons of sugar, and I really haven't the heart to tell them I can tell when they spike my coffee with that canderel shìte :mad:



One of these days...

Rosie Rant

fruttituttii wrote: »

TA'd that when I tell people I hate Nutella and coke, but more so Nutella they think I'm crazy

You're not crazy, you just have sh*tty tastebuds . Only joking, it's stupid to call someone crazy for not liking something.

MsBubbles

fruttituttii wrote: »

TA'd that when I tell people I hate Nutella and coke, but more so Nutella they think I'm crazy

I'm with you. I hate Nutella I didn't drink coke for years and years

OldNotWIse

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Wellll, I wouldn't say you're crazy, but... a little odd perhaps

Reminds me of another TA though -

People that when they make me a coffee, they think I can't tell the difference between two and three spoons of sugar, and I really haven't the heart to tell them I can tell when they spike my coffee with that canderel shìte :mad:



One of these days...

Sugar in your coffee? You deserve everything you get

MsBubbles

Eisenberg sounds like a jobsworthy. A plague upon their house for annoying our Eisenberg.
lemme at 'em

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

My brother cut the plug off something he didn't want me using. We have a neighbour who's sleezy as **** with me, but is quite harmless and very helpful. He fixes things we cant fix. He built me a walk in wardrobe in my old bedroom. He can make/fix anything. He'd be very timid, gets on really well with my brother though I think he's frightened of him.

Anyway since November I'm asking him if he'll put the plug back on for me, he keeps saying he will. I text him yday to ask him again. And he says he will. Then he's saying "does XX know you're getting it fixed?" No "Are you sure you should fix it?" It's mine, and I need it. "Using it will make the esb bill that bit higher". Although I don't live there I still have to pay my share.

I could tell he didn't want to do it, so i stopped texting him back. Then he text how to put a plug on myself, strip the wire etc so I said that's grand I'll do it myself, then he's texting me again this morning saying he'll do it now because he doesn't want me to get electrocuted.

Such a rigmarole to have a new plug put on. I'll do it myself and I'll be more independent for it. And I'm so tempted to send back a snooty text telling him it'll be fine, God forbid we upset the Major. I don't need his ****ing help anyway and he can **** off with his pervy messages anyway

eisenberg1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Such a rigmarole to have a new plug put on. I'll do it myself and I'll be more independent for it. And I'm so tempted to send back a snooty text telling him it'll be fine, God forbid we upset the Major. I don't need his ****ing help anyway and he can **** off with his pervy messages anyway

Did he ask you to pull his wire:D

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Did he ask you to pull his wire:D

<HONK!>

OldNotWIse

THe two seconds it takes for a lift to open after it has arrived

Menas

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'll do it myself and I'll be more independent for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksuFrRU8BQk

OldNotWIse

I dont have a clue how to wire a plug

MsBubbles

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I dont have a clue how to wire a plug

+1