Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

jimgoose wrote: »

That Marshall Mathers young man. I don't like the cut of his jib. I've got a JCB and a square a' ground. He can pick a corner, not a window!

Do you scare the chungfellits your girls bring home?

TA the only pair of fat man pants I own keeps falling down on me now

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Do you scare the chungfellits your girls bring home?

TA the only pair of fat man pants I own keeps falling down on me now

I should certainly hope so, on both counts!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I can't even imagine you being cross. Just saying "take it HAWNDY naw!"

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I can't even imagine you being cross. Just saying "take it HAWNDY naw!"

Who said anything about "cross"?

eternal

Mods closing my innovative threads.

CrowdedHouse

The bastarding coffee machine decides to block this morning, just about one mug full came out after half an hour of spitting and hissing

Fcuk hard water

MsBubbles

jimgoose wrote: »

That Marshall Mathers young man. I don't like the cut of his jib. I've got a JCB and a square a' ground. He can pick a corner, not a window!

I bet that's how you wooed Mrs. Goose, with your road frontage, acreage and JCB.


ps MORNING TITTIES !!!!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

http://s1.postimg.org/4ybjrhr33/image.jpg

These are posts from a girl I'm "friends" with. Made while she was pregnant. Just three examples mind, her facebook is constantly littered with this ****. She's constantly drinking. Then last night this goes up


http://s27.postimg.org/mh0alys8z/image.jpg

Pure simpleton.

Menas

LexieOnRale wrote: »

http://s1.postimg.org/4ybjrhr33/image.jpg

These are posts from a girl I'm "friends" with. Made while she was pregnant. Just three examples mind, her facebook is constantly littered with this ****. She's constantly drinking. Then last night this goes up


http://s27.postimg.org/mh0alys8z/image.jpg

Pure simpleton.

Hand me a bucket.
Pregnancy does turn some peoples brains to mush though. But drinking like that during it is fcking criminal.

rainbow kirby

Oh for fcuk sake

MsBubbles

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Pure simpleton.

Selfish, stupid and thoughtless. There are so many women out there who would love to get pregnant but can't. Words fail me

OldNotWIse

Dinosaurs who refuse to be in any way flexible or cooperative because they are institutionalised after 40 years. Fossilised old f.ucks.

MsBubbles

ONW there's a few of those here too.

Boom_Bap

I should have millions of annoyances today. I don't for some reason.....so erm.....arrrrggggghhhhh my coffee mug is red! RED!

OldNotWIse

My biological clock. Is there a f.ucking snooze button on this thing?

Does anyone have a ball park figure of when one should panic?

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I should have millions of annoyances today. I don't for some reason.....so erm.....arrrrggggghhhhh my coffee mug is red! RED!

Did you get that finger put up your bum yet? If you didn't, the thoughts of that should annoy you? :P

Menas

OldNotWIse wrote: »

My biological clock. Is there a f.cuking snooze button on this thing?

Does anyone have a ball park figure of when one should panic?

Only panic when you find yourself standing in front of an open fridge trying to cool down...on a winters day.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

OldNotWIse wrote: »

My biological clock. Is there a f.ucking snooze button on this thing?

Does anyone have a ball park figure of when one should panic?

When you're peeing on a stick and get two pink lines

Maximus Alexander

120 quid down the swanny last night repairing my laptop. And several hours lost doing the actual repair. Pooooooooooooo.

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

I bet that's how you wooed Mrs. Goose, with your road frontage, acreage and JCB. ...

Gobbewiddedays. I'm a City Slicker nowadays. <S'ptoo> :pac:

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

When you're peeing on a stick and get two pink lines

I can never fathom those. My last one made me wait for a "-" and "l" or something. So pregant was "--" and weren't you damn lucky was "- l"


.... Then I got ll... There wasn't even a corresponding result for that one!

Edit.... just realised I may have been holding it sideways :P

Edit: no... that still makes no sense. Can they not make them for the spatially impaired?

Colser

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Only panic when you find yourself standing in front of an open fridge trying to cool down...on a winters day.

Game over at that stage (more or less):pac:

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I can never fathom those. My last one made me wait for a "-" and "l" or something. So pregant was "--" and weren't you damn lucky was "- l"

.... Then I got ll... There wasn't even a corresponding result for that one!

There could be a fortune to be made yet in those crazy liquid-cooling rigs gamers use for powerful PCs, only for gooters! :pac:

Ghost Buster

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

My Dad was the opposite. When I finished secondary school and started working he warned me to never bring a guy into the house at night 'or I'll tell him to pick a window, he's leaving' were his exact words. My mothers were 'you're old enough to make your own decisions, but never come home and tell me you're pregnant'.:D

The whole 'over protective about their daughters' thing annoys me and somehow has a whiff of sexism about it. Especially when some fathers I know allow their sons to wander about in neanderthal herds. My boy is being brought up fully versed in biology, with manners and respect for the opposite sex and my daughter the same with a bucket load if cop on.

Fat Christy

Ghost Buster wrote: »

The whole 'over protective about their daughters' thing annoys me and somehow has a whiff of sexism about it. Especially when some fathers I know allow their sons to wander about in neanderthal herds. My boy is being brought up fully versed in biology, with manners and respect for the opposite sex and my daughter the same with a bucket load if cop on.

I don't get it either tbh. I was raised by my uncle and he absolutely adores me but he was never horrible to any of my bf's. He was always very welcoming and nice.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I remember doing one last year and I was too frightened to go see the result so sent my best friend. She comes back, white as a sheet, saying there's one proper line and a faint line and that it was the exact same result as when she had taken them when pregnant with her little girl.

Turned out to be an evaporation line.

Menas

I have no idea what you ladies are talking about. As usual.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Lmii's car when it's icy outside. He tells me it's a rear wheel drive, whatever that means but when it's slippy and we go around a corner it throws the car out at the back, it's a horrible feeling. Your heart would be pounding the entire time you're in the car.

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Lmii's car when it's icy outside. He tells me it's a rear wheel drive, whatever that means but when it's slippy and we go around a corner it throws the car out at the back, it's a horrible feeling. Your heart would be pounding the entire time you're in the car.

Tell him to turn the traction-control on.

Menas

jimgoose wrote: »

Tell him to turn the traction-control on.

Thats no fun! Get down to a big empty car park. Turn all traction contols and clever stuff off....and have some craic!

jimgoose

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Thats no fun! Get down to a big empty car park. Turn all traction contols and clever stuff off....and have some craic!

Mate of mine has a 1994 2.8l Audi Quattro, a real one. The bloody thing has a diff-lock. Wahoo!! :pac:

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I remember doing one last year and I was too frightened to go see the result so sent my best friend. She comes back, white as a sheet, saying there's one proper line and a faint line and that it was the exact same result as when she had taken them when pregnant with her little girl.

Turned out to be an evaporation line.

I got really offended when I went to the pharmacy for mine and my friend suggested buying a multipack "because they work out cheaper" - Why would I need more than one? Until she pointed out that it was my third in the past couple of years :rolleyes:

Menas

jimgoose wrote: »

Mate of mine has a 1994 2.8l Audi Quattro, a real one. The bloody thing has a diff-lock. Wahoo!! :pac:

I have a video somewhere of myself in my old 1972 MG BGT blazing around a snow covered tesco car park at 6am...all handbrake and clutch....tear in my eye thinking about it.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Some big heffalump stood on my toe

Fat Christy

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Some big heffalump stood on my toe

That happened me the last time I was out. The big b*tch was in stilettoes! My foot is still bruised from it and that happened on Valentines weekend....


Stupid cnuts, can they not watch where they are standing?! :mad: I'm so tempted to wear steel toe capped boots the next night I go out. Anyone who even grazes off my shoe will be getting a swift kick to the nether regions. That'll learn them.

Rubberlegs

I had a physio appointment this morning, and didn't know what I should wear. So I wore matching underwear with a sports bra on top, a vest, a baggy t shirt, and jog bottoms. All I had to take off was my jacket, and I stifling in it all

kfallon

Went to the bank, put in my card then had a mental blank about my PIN number! Tried once, no joy so decided to not bother. Came back to work, sat at my desk and remembered it!

I annoy myself sometimes :rolleyes:

Colser

73Cat wrote: »

I had a physio appointment this morning, and didn't know what I should wear. So I wore matching underwear with a sports bra on top, a vest, a baggy t shirt, and jog bottoms. All I had to take off was my jacket, and I stifling in it all

Ive had the opposite happen a few years ago ..went to the doc for an injection and presumed it would be put in my arm..it wasnt and I was not prepared ..should have worn a pair of Bridget Jones

Pumpkinseeds

kfallon wrote: »

Went to the bank, put in my card then had a mental blank about my PIN number! Tried once, no joy so decided to not bother. Came back to work, sat at my desk and remembered it!

I annoy myself sometimes :rolleyes:

Something simillar happened to me years ago after surgery. I went to the cash point and couldn't remember the PIN number, I've never remembered what it was, weird.

kfallon

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Something simillar happened to me years ago after surgery. I went to the cash point and couldn't remember the PIN number, I've never remembered what it was, weird.

I've only had the same PIN number for years :rolleyes:
I thought that even my fingers would just remember it, that the minute I put them on the numbers they would, out of habit, hit the right buttons! But they failed me

Pumpkinseeds

Ghost Buster wrote: »

The whole 'over protective about their daughters' thing annoys me and somehow has a whiff of sexism about it. Especially when some fathers I know allow their sons to wander about in neanderthal herds. My boy is being brought up fully versed in biology, with manners and respect for the opposite sex and my daughter the same with a bucket load if cop on.

My parents were very conservative about some things and I'm talking about back in the late 80's early 90's when things weren't as liberal. A lot of their friends kids were getting pregnant or getting girls knocked up and the thought horrified them. They knew I was no saint but that I was very careful and discreet in my 'nocturnal activities':D My brother got away with so much it was unbelievable and I had a row with my mother over it once, her response was if I got pregnant it was their problem but if he got someone pregnant it was her parents problem.:eek:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Every single morning I come in here it's the same story. Crumbs at reception, crumbs on the stairs, fingerprints on the handheld mirrors, treatment rooms not tidied from the night before. There is a big **** off list stuck up
http://s18.postimg.org/qphem6k9l/image.jpg

A step by step guide. Not only does nobody clean, nobody makes an effort to keep the place clean when I do it.

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Every single morning I come in here it's the same story. Crumbs at reception, crumbs on the stairs, fingerprints on the handheld mirrors, treatment rooms not tidied from the night before. There is a big **** off list stuck up
http://s18.postimg.org/qphem6k9l/image.jpg

A step by step guide. Not only does nobody clean, nobody makes an effort to keep the place clean when I do it.

Rather than using pink paper with little kisses at the end, I suggest using 1940s-style German font with an Iron Eagle heading the paper. :pac:

ACHTUNG! Das salonhaus is nicht fuer gewerken bai das Dumpkopfen! Ist nicht for der leavingdurten und coveredinscheisser!!

You get the idea!

Ghost Buster

Ghost Buster wrote: »

The whole 'over protective about their daughters' thing annoys me and somehow has a whiff of sexism about it. Especially when some fathers I know allow their sons to wander about in neanderthal herds. My boy is being brought up fully versed in biology, with manners and respect for the opposite sex and my daughter the same with a bucket load if cop on.

Correction: A bucket load of condoms.

Menas

jimgoose wrote: »

Rather than using pink paper with little kisses at the end, I suggest using 1940s-style German font with an Iron Eagle heading the paper. :pac:

ACHTUNG! Das salonhaus is nicht fuer gewerken bai das Dumpkopfen! Ist nicht for der leavingdurten und coveredinsheisser!!

You get the idea!

And get the word 'P45' in there somewhere.

I am guessing they reckon they were hired for some other skills than cleaninig and see that as beneath themselves. Time to stop asking and start telling.

jimgoose

Trigger Happy wrote: »

And get the word 'P45' in there somewhere.

I am guessing they reckon they were hired for some other skills than cleaninig and see that as beneath themselves. Time to stop asking and start telling.

Non-doingwhatfcukantolden ist gewehr Dumpfelstafen P45 uppenhole! :pac:

Rubberlegs

Colser wrote: »

Ive had the opposite happen a few years ago ..went to the doc for an injection and presumed it would be put in my arm..it wasnt and I was not prepared ..should have worn a pair of Bridget Jones

I went for my first smear many years ago, it was after I had my first child. I was handed a gown and sent into a cubicle. Young and very, very stupid I hadn't a clue what to do, so I stripped the whole lot off of me, and put on this little gown. Oh the mortification when I went into the doctor, and I twigged it was really only my bottom half that should have been removed. All my clothes outside in a cubicle. My cheeks are burning just thinking of it. So my utter dopiness at times is a big TA !

eisenberg1

jimgoose wrote: »

Rather than using pink paper with little kisses at the end, I suggest using 1940s-style German font with an Iron Eagle heading the paper. :pac:

ACHTUNG! Das salonhaus is nicht fuer gewerken bai das Dumpkopfen! Ist nicht for der leavingdurten und coveredinscheisser!!

You get the idea!

Jawhol, mein kapitan, und kiss mein icehole, yar farkan bastages.

Colser

jimgoose wrote: »

Non-doingwhatdcukantolden is gewehr dumpfelstafen P45 uppenhole! :pac:

:D:DThat might appeal to ze russian..

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Jawhol, mein kapitan, und kiss mein icehole, yar farkan bastages.

You seem somewhat agitated, Herr Hauptmann. Perhaps a week in Ze Cooler will improve your concentration somewhat??