Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Nope, I'll just be thinking that it's not right, it's an out hole not an in hole.

First time for everything :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Never know BB, you might love it.

Aglomerado

OldNotWIse wrote: »

First time for everything :pac:

He could freak out the doctor by saying in a husky voice "Ooooaaah! keep doing that!!"

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Never know BB, you might love it.

Aglomerado wrote: »

He could freak out the doctor by saying in a husky voice "Ooooaaah! keep doing that!!"

When I worked in an animal charity centre before, I swear there were some dogs that smiled when we took their temperature

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Never know BB, you might love it.

Nope, there have been attempts by some women in my earlier sexual encounters that have tried suprising me in that area before. Not a fan.

eisenberg1

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Nope, I'll just be thinking that it's not right, it's an out hole not an in hole.

Only panic if the Doc has both hand on your shoulders.....and you can still the feel "probe"

And make sure the give the aul rusty sheriff's badge a good wash prior to...

Boom_Bap

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Only panic if the Doc has both hand on your shoulders.....and you can still the "probe"

The old magicians 'no hands' routine :pac:

eisenberg1

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The old magicians 'no hands' routine :pac:

Doc "Dont be embarrased, it is normal to get an erection during the examination"

BB" But I don't have an erection"

Doc "Yeah, well I have, now like I said, relax.."

danrua01

every afternoon this office gets uncomfortably warm- meanin i sweat buckets and stink the place up for everyone. sort it out!

Boom_Bap

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Doc "Dont be embarrased, it is normal to get an erection during the examination"

BB" But I don't have an erection"

Doc "Yeah, well I have, now like I said, relax.."

Ah b*llox, another fear now....what if I DO get an erection?

http://cancernew.epimemeticsllc.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/milking-the-prostate-funny-scene-from-road-trip.jpg

OldNotWIse

It's coming I think!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Bring a grapefruit just incase, be a shame to waste it

One eyed Jack

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The old magicians 'no hands' routine :pac:

"I've lost my watch"


TA right now: The tv went tits up last night, and I'm humming and hawing over what to do. I was on to LG product support last night and I discovered I'm just outside the five year warranty, nothing they could do.

I'm thinking well I watch feckall tv anyway so do I really need a tv, then I'm thinking well I could get the exact same tv again on adverts for €250 (tv cost me €750 at the time), although I'd be likely to encounter the same issue so not worth it, and then I'm thinking well those smart televisions are nice, but would I really bother watching YouTube videos upscaled to a 50" screen? I never did before.

Ugh, I felt like kicking the damn thing through the wall last night, and now I'm just not bothered. I reckon I'll just have to pony up for a new tv and to hell with it

I'm just ticked off that one minute it's working perfectly, and the next thing, bam, new tv, do not pass go, shell out another €750 for something you'll rarely ever use anyway! :mad:

eisenberg1

One eyed Jack wrote: »

"I've lost my watch"


TA right now: The tv went tits up last night, and I'm humming and hawing over what to do. I was on to LG product support last night and I discovered I'm just outside the five year warranty, nothing they could do.

I'm thinking well I watch feckall tv anyway so do I really need a tv, then I'm thinking well I could get the exact same tv again on adverts for €250 (tv cost me €750 at the time), although I'd be likely to encounter the same issue so not worth it, and then I'm thinking well those smart televisions are nice, but would I really bother watching YouTube videos upscaled to a 50" screen? I never did before.

Ugh, I felt like kicking the damn thing through the wall last night, and now I'm just not bothered. I reckon I'll just have to pony up for a new tv and to hell with it

I'm just ticked off that one minute it's working perfectly, and the next thing, bam, new tv, do not pass go, shell out another €750 for something you'll rarely ever use anyway! :mad:

You should be able to get a good 40" (snigger) SMART for about 500 quid. I got one while ago (LG) with the "Magic" remote...only seven buttons. The dogs cojones. Netflix etc etc

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

The sad realisation that if I was to identify with a character from breaking bad, Id be badger.

Boom_Bap

eisenberg1 wrote: »

You should be able to get a good 40" (snigger) SMART for about 500 quid. I got one while ago (LG) with the "Magic" remote...only seven buttons. The dogs cojones. Netflix etc etc

That magic remote is great. TA when you have to go back to using the other one if you lose it down the back of the sofa.

Graces7

Officials who do not arrive at the time they said they would,,,,

Rubberlegs

I didn't look at thread since yesterday morning, and squeeeeee, 9 pages to read . TA that I got so excited. Thanking left, right and centre, but the internet connection is so slow today .

My TA is why do other women look at me so suspiciously when I say I don't watch the soaps? I have zero interest in them. I was at a wedding, and a friends wife, asked me what I thought of the latest Eastenders storyline. I said I didn't watch it. You would swear I had just told her I murder babies and eat them raw, the look on her face. She had to call over another friend to say "you won't believe this , but 'Cat doesn't watch the soaps!" I felt like a very interesting specimen altogether

yeppydeppy

When birds crap on my car, I roast a chicken and eat in on the porch with my hands, just to show them what I'm capable of.

73Cat - will you marry me?

TA - shoe sizes and why it's so difficult to find my correct size in this country.

Graces7

73Cat wrote: »

I didn't look at thread since yesterday morning, and squeeeeee, 9 pages to read . TA that I got so excited. Thanking left, right and centre, but the internet connection is so slow today .

My TA is why do other women look at me so suspiciously when I say I don't watch the soaps? I have zero interest in them. I was at a wedding, and a friends wife, asked me what I thought of the latest Eastenders storyline. I said I didn't watch it. You would swear I had just told her I murder babies and eat them raw, the look on her face. She had to call over another friend to say "you won't believe this , but 'Cat doesn't watch the soaps!" I felt like a very interesting specimen altogether

Imagine then the reaction when I tell folk I don't have TV or radio...Need a nap and cannot as expecting the Gardai......hurry up please!

jimgoose

Some disciple here at the office is heating what smells suspiciously like turkey, gravy and delicious, spicy stuffing in the microwave in the kitchen just back the corridor. Now I want Christmas Dinner! Fcuk you Universe, just... fcuk you. Right in the ear! :mad:

eisenberg1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Bring a grapefruit just incase, be a shame to waste it

Well, did you watch it?

Shudders

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

At least you have a computer, radio and tv wouldn't be a big deal but Internet access is great.

Aglomerado

73Cat wrote: »

My TA is why do other women look at me so suspiciously when I say I don't watch the soaps? I have zero interest in them. I was at a wedding, and a friends wife, asked me what I thought of the latest Eastenders storyline. I said I didn't watch it. You would swear I had just told her I murder babies and eat them raw, the look on her face. She had to call over another friend to say "you won't believe this , but 'Cat doesn't watch the soaps!" I felt like a very interesting specimen altogether

My mother likes to relay the latest storyline on Fair city etc. to me "You know your one, Yvonne...", talking about them as if they are neighbours (note lower case "n"!!). Then she remembers I have not watched soaps since 2003 and struggles to find something else to talk to me about.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Well, did you watch it?

Shudders

Yeah haha loved the sound effects

MsBubbles

73Cat I don't watch any soaps either but MIL (bless her) tells me all about them. I smile politely and nod but I have zero interest

Rubberlegs

yeppydeppy wrote: »

When birds crap on my car, I roast a chicken and eat in on the porch with my hands, just to show them what I'm capable of.

73Cat - will you marry me?

TA - shoe sizes and why it's so difficult to find my correct size in this country.

Aw, shucksss

Living in a seaside town, I get seagulls crapping on my car /washing. The b**tards are massive, and so are their sh*ts .
Another TA is I have handprints of what I can only assume is suncream on the car. It's red, and they show up something rotten. Can't get it off at all

jimgoose

Oh, and did I tell you that I was out picking up De Vegetables for Christmas on the afternoon of Christmas Eve? I was, we usually leave it 'til then to grab things like sprouts, couple boxes of peas, mixed veg, etc. Do you think there was a Brussels sprout in either of the huge Dunnes foodmarkets in this leafy, comfortable suburb of Cork? Was there fcuk-buggery, mate. I very nearly Steven Seagal'ed the youngfella working in one of them with his Ironic Post-Modern beard as he gave me an amused look and said "Yeah, mad isn't it? No Sprouts like!!" :mad:

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

How the heck are you supposed to fold a double bed sheet on your own? Out of the dryer they come, I'm 6ft tall and I still can't fold the blasted things on my own without them dragging on the ground.

Graces7

yeppydeppy wrote: »

When birds crap on my car, I roast a chicken and eat in on the porch with my hands, just to show them what I'm capable of.

73Cat - will you marry me?

TA - shoe sizes and why it's so difficult to find my correct size in this country.

Occasionally I buy a hot roast chicken from Dunnes and find a pretty layby and tear the hot fatty wings and skin off... bliss

Boom_Bap

jimgoose wrote: »

Oh, and did I tell you that I was out picking up De Vegetables for Christmas on the afternoon of Christmas Eve? I was, we usually leave it 'til then to grab things like sprouts, couple boxes of peas, mixed veg, etc. Do you think there was a Brussels sprout in either of the huge Dunnes foodmarkets in this leafy, comfortable suburb of Cork? Was there fcuk-buggery, mate. I very nearly Steven Seagal'ed the youngfella working in one of them with his Ironic Post-Modern beard as he gave me an amused look and said "Yeah, mad isn't it? No Sprouts like!!" :mad:

I done the same on Chistmas Eve, we were having some folk over on Stephens Day at short notice and had nothing in.
Dunnes was like one of the shops in the first season of The Walking Dead minus all the zombies and carcases.
People were resorting to grabbing anything. 1 old dear was proclaiming that she had the last tin of Quality Street in ye olde shoppe.
Not a vegetable in sight. But luckily I took another whip past the veg section before checking out. Some stocker had found a box of loose carrots and spuds and just popped them out on my return. Christmas miracle.
TA - cooking on Stephens Day a/k/a leftovers day.

OldNotWIse

73Cat wrote: »

I didn't look at thread since yesterday morning, and squeeeeee, 9 pages to read . TA that I got so excited. Thanking left, right and centre, but the internet connection is so slow today .

My TA is why do other women look at me so suspiciously when I say I don't watch the soaps? I have zero interest in them. I was at a wedding, and a friends wife, asked me what I thought of the latest Eastenders storyline. I said I didn't watch it. You would swear I had just told her I murder babies and eat them raw, the look on her face. She had to call over another friend to say "you won't believe this , but 'Cat doesn't watch the soaps!" I felt like a very interesting specimen altogether

Lol because cooked babies would be ok :P I hear you on the soaps thing. I consider every second spent watching them to be a sinful waste of one's life (says she typing her 7,854th trivial annoyance...)

bonzodog2

Jaxen Curved Shaver wrote: »

How the heck are you supposed to fold a double bed sheet on your own? Out of the dryer they come, I'm 6ft tall and I still can't fold the blasted things on my own without them dragging on the ground.

Put it on the bed, in a heap, if your floor is so bad. Find a long side, put top and bottom corners of that side together. Hold with one hand, together. Find middle with other hand. Lift with 2 hands, short side of sheet (hanging down) should now be less than your upstretched arms height and not touch floor.

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I done the same on Chistmas Eve, we were having some folk over on Stephens Day at short notice and had nothing in.
Dunnes was like one of the shops in the first season of The Walking Dead minus all the zombies and carcases.
People were resorting to grabbing anything. 1 old dear was proclaiming that she had the last tin of Quality Street in ye olde shoppe.
Not a vegetable in sight. But luckily I took another whip past the veg section before checking out. Some stocker had found a box of loose carrots and spuds and just popped them out on my return. Christmas miracle.
TA - cooking on Stephens Day a/k/a leftovers day.

Yeah, I hear that. I had to blow a ferocious 83-year-old's head clean off with my semiauto Mossberg because Mrs. Goose wanted a nice bit of Christmas Cake. It's getting a bit ridiculous. :pac::pac::pac:

Mr. CooL ICE

73Cat wrote: »

My TA is why do other women look at me so suspiciously when I say I don't watch the soaps? I have zero interest in them. I was at a wedding, and a friends wife, asked me what I thought of the latest Eastenders storyline. I said I didn't watch it. You would swear I had just told her I murder babies and eat them raw, the look on her face. She had to call over another friend to say "you won't believe this , but 'Cat doesn't watch the soaps!" I felt like a very interesting specimen altogether

That's like me and football.

Every colleague ever: "See the match last night?"
Me: "What match?"
Every colleague ever: "Y'know, the united one"
Me: "Oh, right. Who were they playing?"
Every colleague ever: :eek:

eisenberg1

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

That's like me and football.

Every colleague ever: "See the match last night?"
Me: "What match?"
Every colleague ever: "Y'know, the united one"
Me: "Oh, right. Who were they playing?"
Every colleague ever: :eek:

"You did not see the match? YOU DID NOT SEE THE MATCH?? is your telly broken?"

"No, I was watching Fair City"

They will never ask again:D

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Realising the most variation my diet got today was 3 different colour macaroons.

The lunch of winners though
http://tinypic.com/r/34sndwh/8

rainbow kirby

When you order something online and it arrives and the sizing is completely out. Thought I had a bargain on a new swimsuit, by the looks of things I need to return it and go 2 sizes smaller...

jimgoose

rainbow kirby wrote: »

When you order something online and it arrives and the sizing is completely out. Thought I had a bargain on a new swimsuit, by the looks of things I need to return it and go 2 sizes smaller...

Thinly-veiled "I'm built like Georgia Salpa" post logged. Consider this a warning! :pac:

rainbow kirby

jimgoose wrote: »

Thinly-veiled "I'm built like Georgia Salpa" post logged.

Hahahahahaha no - I'm no skinny mini! It's more that I took it out of the packaging and it looked a hell of a lot bigger than the one I was wearing at the pool this morning.

fussyonion

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Hahahahahaha no - I'm no skinny mini! It's more that I took it out of the packaging and it looked a hell of a lot bigger than the one I was wearing at the pool this morning.

Are you on holidays? :mad:

rainbow kirby

Nope, just swam before work at the pool near the office. Saves me having to do stuff later if I get the workout out of the way in the morning pre-coffee when I'm too stupid to know better.

Graces7

jimgoose wrote: »

Oh, and did I tell you that I was out picking up De Vegetables for Christmas on the afternoon of Christmas Eve? I was, we usually leave it 'til then to grab things like sprouts, couple boxes of peas, mixed veg, etc. Do you think there was a Brussels sprout in either of the huge Dunnes foodmarkets in this leafy, comfortable suburb of Cork? Was there fcuk-buggery, mate. I very nearly Steven Seagal'ed the youngfella working in one of them with his Ironic Post-Modern beard as he gave me an amused look and said "Yeah, mad isn't it? No Sprouts like!!" :mad:

Happened to me one year when I was trading at a farmers market, I delayed going over to the veg stall and when I got there it looked as if a hurricane had hit. The man kindly let me rummage among the wreckage and I rescued a small handful of sprouts...it is not shopping but a feeding frenzy

stoneill

I hate the feeling of panic that wells up when you're bursting for a piss, running to the urinal, a drop or two making their sneaky appearance, you run while fiddling trying to open the fly of your jeans, fumbling around for the top of your jocks to pull your mickey out and you can't find the way in as you are really fidgeting with the bottom of your t-shirt.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

jimgoose wrote: »

Oh, and did I tell you that I was out picking up De Vegetables for Christmas on the afternoon of Christmas Eve? I was, we usually leave it 'til then to grab things like sprouts, couple boxes of peas, mixed veg, etc. Do you think there was a Brussels sprout in either of the huge Dunnes foodmarkets in this leafy, comfortable suburb of Cork? Was there fcuk-buggery, mate. I very nearly Steven Seagal'ed the youngfella working in one of them with his Ironic Post-Modern beard as he gave me an amused look and said "Yeah, mad isn't it? No Sprouts like!!" :mad:

What annoys me is the number of people who grab all the fresh veg at Christmas and they complain about the waste and all the unused food they had to dump after Christmas. Can they not judge how much they'll use? Or do they not recall chucking sprouts in the bin last year and the year before?

yeppydeppy

A certain poster here (you know who you are) who complains of ill health but has the diet of an unsupervised 7 year old child.:D

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

yeppydeppy wrote: »

A certain poster here (you know who you are) who complains of ill health but has the diet of an unsupervised 7 year old child.:D

Well now! If we're going the road of posters here who cause annoyance there's this one who......

Nah! Let's not.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

yeppydeppy wrote: »

A certain poster here (you know who you are) who complains of ill health but has the diet of an unsupervised 7 year old child.:D

Hey! When you have a cold you're allowed nice things!

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

stoneill wrote: »

I hate the feeling of panic that wells up when you're bursting for a piss, running to the urinal, a drop or two making their sneaky appearance, you run while fiddling trying to open the fly of your jeans, fumbling around for the top of your jocks to pull your mickey out and you can't find the way in as you are really fidgeting with the bottom of your t-shirt.

Give it a few years until this is a regular occurrence every day and you'll no longer be annoyed: just resigned to it.

the purple tin

stoneill wrote: »

I hate the feeling of panic that wells up when you're bursting for a piss, running to the urinal, a drop or two making their sneaky appearance, you run while fiddling trying to open the fly of your jeans, fumbling around for the top of your jocks to pull your mickey out and you can't find the way in as you are really fidgeting with the bottom of your t-shirt.

Worse still when you are bursting try to unzip only to realise you're wearing a button fly :eek: the extra few seconds it takes to get your lad out is like the climax of an action movie.