Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

When you become a parent, you immediately become a poop inspector. It's one of these strange skills that has lied dormant for your entire life and is suddenly awoken.

My kids are at the stage now where they close the door when they go to the jacks, I'm always trying to follow them in to have a poop snoop and they go mental at me.

In fairness BB the 27-year-old probably has a point! :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

:eek: why???

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

TA that Eminem won't wife me. He's unreal. I love him. I love him so much. He would be the perfect man. That song, not afraid. The pangs of love I feel is not right. Feeeeeeek.

Or this one...picks self up off floor... :P

grundie

People who don't know how to shop at Lidl and Aldi. Particularly the ones who insist on packing their bags at the checkout.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Or this one...picks self up off floor... :P

Tellin Ya, he can burn my house to the ground any day of the week!

jimgoose

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Or this one...picks self up off floor...

Dummind that impostor. The Real Slim Shady is from East Limerick:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

RIDE!! Goddamnit!

OldNotWIse

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Feeling constantly hungry, despite eating well(def not pregnant).

Are you sure? There's been a lot of hanky panky and mickey holding going on around here lately

Menas

LexieOnRale wrote: »

:eek: why???

Normal poo = healthy child.
Off color, or bad consistency poo = possible sick child.
:eek:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Off colour?? Ah jaysus.

Menas

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Off colour?? Ah jaysus.

You will make a pants mum!

You need to marry a really rich man so you can 'outsource' all the yucky bits.
But of course you still need to carry and deliver the little Lexie.

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Off colour?? Ah jaysus.

The first poop is either blalck or green. Knowledge.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You know what annoys me? Twice a day when I brush my teeth I get annoyed. I brush my tongue, and no matter what way I stick my tongue, I always end up retching, and my mouth doesn't feel clean until it's brushed properly, so I gag like hell, to the point where I feel proper queasy. I wouldn't mind but I used to pride myself on having amazing gag reflex

LynnGrace

73Cat wrote: »

My TA is some other mothers. It's like a bloody competition with them with their kids. Who walks /talks first. Who is a savage little eater. Who is out of nappies first. They can be so judgemental too. I honestly don't give a sh1t how others parent their children, as far as I'm concerned we are all trying to do our best for our kids, and whatever gets you through etc.

Similar-ish, worked with a guy once who, if you said you stubbed your toe, he had broken his leg, in three places.

Everything was a competition, the simplest thing anyone said, would set him off.
I remember listening(or pretending to listen) while he told us about how long it took to find the right curtains for their sitting room, and as for them choosing any furniture, oh jebus...that would be a saga that could run on for months.

Boom_Bap

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You know what annoys me? Twice a day when I brush my teeth I get annoyed. I brush my tongue, and no matter what way I stick my tongue, I always end up retching, and my mouth doesn't feel clean until it's brushed properly, so I gag like hell, to the point where I feel proper queasy. I wouldn't mind but I used to pride myself on having amazing gag reflex

The bit I've bolded should be your chat up line to men. 100% sucess rate guaranteed.

OldNotWIse

73Cat wrote: »

My TA is some other mothers. It's like a bloody competition with them with their kids. Who walks /talks first. Who is a savage little eater. Who is out of nappies first. They can be so judgemental too. I honestly don't give a sh1t how others parent their children, as far as I'm concerned we are all trying to do our best for our kids, and whatever gets you through etc. I have been burned in the past with a couple of other women thinking that their child's sh1t didn't stink, and it's probably why I don't have a close friend who is a mother. My best friend has no kids. It TA's me at times, as it would be nice to talk to another mother without getting the feeling that she was delighting in something you were finding tough.

Don't worry, it's all just a novelty. They will get bored of them soon enough when they realise how thoroughly average they all are. My ex-friend was one of these and then she decided she wanted another. I said to her, "why? You already have one" and she replied, "yeah but now he's not a baby anymore, like, he became a kid".

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The bit I've bolded should be your chat up line to men. 100% sucess rate guaranteed.

Hoooo-yus, he went there! :pac::pac::pac:

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

When you become a parent, you immediately become a poop inspector. It's one of these strange skills that has lied dormant for your entire life and is suddenly awoken.

My kids are at the stage now where they close the door when they go to the jacks, I'm always trying to follow them in to have a poop snoop and they go mental at me.

I became a poop inspector when I got my dog My parents think I'm batty. I'm on the phone to the OH saying, "yeah she did just now...yes it was fine, not too runny...a good solid one and a little one after" Puke... But it is a very good indication of digestive health Cna only imagine what a bore I'll become if I have a kid

OldNotWIse

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The first poop is either blalck or green. Knowledge.

What.

MsBubbles

Morning TTayers ! Stupid neighbours woke me again at stupid o' clock. I'm blue in the face complaining

Boom_Bap ew ! green/black poop T M Bleedin I

fussyonion

Waiting all morning for a phone-call from the hospital to hear news of a sick relative.

I've made sure my phone's fully charged, up full volume, brought it into every room I've gone into, incase they call. I've had my radio on low and I've double-checked I haven't missed any calls.

I needed the loo earlier and accidentally left the phone in the bedroom. I'd only sat on the loo when "RING RING! RING RING!" comes from the bedroom.
I can't stop mid-flow, so I sit there cursing both the phone and my bladder for being so needy....I'm as quick as I am, run to the bedroom, pick up the phone and they're gone.

And it was the hospital.
I've tried calling back now several times but they won't answer.
:mad:

Rubberlegs

grundie wrote: »

People who don't know how to shop at Lidl and Aldi. Particularly the ones who insist on packing their bags at the checkout.

There is an art to that though. I am like a ninja at the checkout in Lidl. Throw the stuff on the belt, open out 2 big bags in trolley, as fast as the stuff is being put through, I am firing it in the bags. Bank card in hand, pay and go. There is only a tiny ledge over by the window in our Lidl, a foot wide at best , no way you could pack a big load of shopping on it. I've never seen anyone packing anything on it.

MsBubbles

Cat me too ! #teampackingninjas

jimgoose

73Cat wrote: »

There is an art to that though. I am like a ninja at the checkout in Lidl. Throw the stuff on the belt, open out 2 big bags in trolley, as fast as the stuff is being put through, I am firing it in the bags. Bank card in hand, pay and go...

Same as that. In fact, I pretend to be a POWER-7 processor at 8GHz, with three layers of cache, pipeline prefetch and delay-slots. I know, I know - NEEEEERRRDD!!

Rubberlegs

MsBubbles wrote: »

Cat me too ! #teampackingninjas

We can be in charge of packing the booze on the TItty Booze Cruise

MsBubbles

jim huh ? I haven't a clue what that means.
Cat yes ! efficient packing means more booze More Booze happier ttayer's. win win

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

jim huh ? I haven't a clue what that means.

Very fast computer that runs several "strands" of programs simultaneously, and predicts what the next several instructions will be for each strand.

MsBubbles

jim thanks. I know very little about computers apart from how to works the interwebs

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You guys throw all your shopping into the one bag?! Weirdos!! Need a bag for veg, for frozen stuff, for meat, for cleaning stuff etc.

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

jim thanks. I know very little about computers apart from how to works the interwebs

This is a POWER-7 machine. I don't have one of these in the lab, but I have a couple of older ones like it:

http://www.nasi.com/images/ibm-power795.jpg

MsBubbles

No lexie. I have 3 /4 bags standing up in trolley, frozen/chilled goods 1 bag. Veg 2nd cleaning stuff 3rd liquids

Jim it's a black IBM server.

Boom_Bap

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What.

MsBubbles wrote: »

Morning TTayers ! Stupid neighbours woke me again at stupid o' clock. I'm blue in the face complaining

Boom_Bap ew ! green/black poop T M Bleedin I

It can stay Green for the first few weeks as well I think, you kind of get excited when you see the first brown mess, then even more excited when you see the first solid one.

It's not so cool when the nappy explodes and goes up the back and down the legs. That's where you need a good scissors to cut your child out of their clothes and decent water pressure for the hose down.

bnt

People writing "ye" or "yer" instead of "you" or "your" when addressing others directly (second person singular). I know people have accents when they speak, but this is writing, not speaking. It only makes sense if you are quoting someone in the third person, using their "voice" to make a point.

edit: in case the "grammatical person" isn't familiar: I am the first person, ye you are the second person, and yer your man is the third person. :P

MsBubbles

gross Boom_Bap I'm turning green myself feeling icky

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Boom_Bap wrote: »

It can stay Green for the first few weeks as well I think, you kind of get excited when you see the first brown mess, then even more excited when you see the first solid one.

It's not so cool when the nappy explodes and goes up the back and down the legs. That's where you need a good scissors to cut your child out of their clothes and decent water pressure for the hose down.

Jesus Christ

jimgoose

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Jesus Christ

Lexie having an "Ellen Ripley" moment! :pac:

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

...Jim it's a black IBM server.

That it be, lass.

Boom_Bap

A lady in work has just put on some perfume, whatever way the airconditioning is blowing, most of the perfume as ended up hitting my throat and gone up my nose.
F*ck this sh*t. If people come to my desk now it looks like I'm crying. They should use this as a tear gas replacement.

MsBubbles

Jim how many pedabytes would that yoke process ?

OldNotWIse

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Jesus Christ

That reminds me, I must take my pill today....

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Pill?? There'll be no more horizontal shufflin for me until green **** is a distant memory

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

Jim how many pedabytes would that yoke process ?

It can run 256 processors at 4GHz, 16TB of core memory, and 26 internal hard-disks. In short, lots! :pac:

MsBubbles

jimgoose

Boom_Bap

jimgoose wrote: »

It can run 256 processors at 4GHz, 16TB of core memory, and 26 internal hard-disks. In short, lots! :pac:

yeah but, can you kick it?

bonzodog2

Boom_Bap wrote: »

yeah but, can you kick it?

I think you might stub your toe!

Rubberlegs

My eldest just appeared downstairs wearing a onesie. Where did I go wrong ?

MsBubbles

I love my onesie. It's got a hood with a ears and a bear face it's super cozy

Menas

Boom_Bap wrote: »

It can stay Green for the first few weeks as well I think, you kind of get excited when you see the first brown mess, then even more excited when you see the first solid one.

It's not so cool when the nappy explodes and goes up the back and down the legs. That's where you need a good scissors to cut your child out of their clothes and decent water pressure for the hose down.

BB, when do you think would be a good time to tell Lexie about when babies get a cold and the snot comes out of their eyes?

One eyed Jack

73Cat wrote: »

My eldest just appeared downstairs wearing a onesie. Where did I go wrong ?

Reading your earlier posts Cat, you're doing an incredible job, but yeah, I do wonder alright where things went wrong when a child's idea of rebellion isn't coming downstairs with green hair and a load of tattoos, but wearing a feckin' onesie?

I was expecting my child to rebel at some stage, but it doesn't look likely! If anything I'm the one has to tell him to chill the fcuk out when he's making his lunch for school the night before, has his uniform neatly hung up in his wardrobe, etc. I feel somewhat relieved when he goes into full on diva mode and behaves like a normal ten year old! :pac:

Boom_Bap

Trigger Happy wrote: »

BB, when do you think would be a good time to tell Lexie about when babies get a cold and the snot comes out of their eyes?

Or about when they approach you with something in thier hands and ask you to take a look and smell it.