MY GP has recommended taking my 18 month old out of the creche

lazygal

anonyanony wrote: »

I would make sure one of use didn't need to work and could stay home with it, my grandparents are not an option.

Good luck with that. You both might want or need to work.

anonyanony

lazygal wrote: »

Good luck with that. You both might want or need to work.

No dole would supplement enough to cover one of us, whichever one of us had the best job would Continue to work. I would not have a kid if we both wanted to work rather then raise it cause offloading my kid would be the worse thing I could do to person.

LegacyUser

Morning all

OP here - thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply to me query.

I am a little relieved to see that the scenario I have described is more common than I thought.

There is one thing that I would like to address and that is the concept mentioned by one user of "offloading" my son.
Myself & my husband and my 5 year old daughter, all his cousins & his 2 grandparents, dearly love him. There is no suggestion whatsoever of us "offloading" him to a creche.
The simple reality is that I need to work - it is not a choice I have, I HAVE to work in order to pay the rent and food and bills and all the other crap that goes with living a life.

My husband works in construction - his wages have been decimated and we could not live on what he earns unless I work.

We chose to send our son to creche rather than a childminder because it was close to work, open 50 weeks of the year, have a very low staff turnover (who are WONDERFUL), have great inspection reports & are not over-crowded. All the kinds of things you will have to consider once you have a baby and you need to go to work.

Anyway, I was prepared for lots of illnesses & bugs etc once he moved to the toddler room. As my GP says, they slobber on each other, steal each other's soothers', drink out of each other's cup etc and that is probably why he is picking up everything now. I have no concerns re hygeine in the room itself - it is kept very clean, there is a sink in the room, one just outside in a small area where they heat bottles, have a fridge for storing medicines etc & then another sink in the changing area.

My 5 year old had gone to a childminder - we were living in a different part of the country at that stage and there was no creche available near us. She was never sick like my son has been until she started playschool & at that bounced back very quickly. I suppose I was just expecting the same thing with Himself.

Thanks for everyone responding to my query - I have a lot to think of now but also have gotten a lot of comfort that it is much more common than I appreciated & not necessarily the "immune defecincey" that my over-active imagination had envisaged.

T

ariana`

anonyanony wrote: »

Yes but it was small operations 3-4 kids, creches are basically factories for your kids, get a local child minder instead of using a creche.

"a local minder" might have as many children per adult as a creche? In fact it's a much less regulated industry so it's possibly even more likely.

My friend had a childminder come to her home to just mind her then 3 kids under 3, she came home early one day to find the child-minder panned out fast asleep, the youngest baby was in the buggy but not strapped in and the 2 toddlers/preschoolers running riot around the place, the "local minder" was oblivious to it all snoring her head off. Thankfully there were no reprecussions other than the minder losing her job.

There is always going to be negative stories about childcare but parents have to keep an open mind and find a solution that works best for them and they're comfortable with. To say parents are "offloading" their kids is harsh IMO.

lazygal

anonyanony wrote: »

No dole would supplement enough to cover one of us, whichever one of us had the best job would Continue to work. I would not have a kid if we both wanted to work rather then raise it cause offloading my kid would be the worse thing I could do to person.

You're not eligible for unemployment benefits if you give up work to care for a child. Maybe do some research before making any rash decisions.

anonyanony

lazygal wrote: »

You're not eligible for unemployment benefits if you give up work to care for a child. Maybe do some research before making any rash decisions.

You are if you get fired, you plan ahead before having the child.

lazygal

anonyanony wrote: »

You are if you get fired, you plan ahead before having the child.

You're planning on you or your partner getting fired? Do you know the rights pregnant women have in the workplace?

IvyTheTerrible

My son didn't go to the creche until he was 18 months old, in the first year he caught a lot of minor colds etc. This year, he has not been sick once since September. His cousin has gone to a creche since he was 3 months old, he's sick all the time.
All children are different, some kids get sick more than others.
I wish this thread would just stick to the question raised in the op and not become a creche bashing thread.

Orion

anonyanony wrote: »

Well I would never offload my kid to a creche.

anonyanony wrote: »

You are if you get fired, you plan ahead before having the child.

anonyanony: That's quite enough thanks. You have driven this thread off topic enough. Contribute to the actual discussion as per the OP or don't post in this thread again. You've amassed quite a record in your two weeks on boards so consider this your one and only warning in Parenting.

Rose35

Creche bashing again and from people who have no experience of a creche, surprise surprise.

OP, it gets better believe me, i had exactly the same experiences as you in the first 18 months, thankfully it seems
to have resolved itself and my little mans immune system seems to have got stronger, he is now two and we have had at least 8 months of no illness, never had ear or throat infections it just seemed to be coughs and common colds.
I wouldn't have taken him out of creche to prevent these though, any small kids I know seem to pick up infections relatively easily whether they attend day care or not.

anonyanony

lazygal wrote: »

You're planning on you or your partner getting fired? Do you know the rights pregnant women have in the workplace?

Which ever of us had the worse job yes so one of us will raise our kid, whatever right she might get are not worth offloading my kid for, atm it would not matter anyway I work from home on call and if the call comes in I only need to go to my PC to remote in so could look after it anyway, but if I could not I would gladly get fire to raise my kid directly.

Edit just saw warning

ariana`

anonyanony wrote: »

You are if you get fired, you plan ahead before having the child.

This is just ridiculous. You or your partner haven't a clue how you'll feel until you have a child. For example, I always thought i'd give up work when i had a child and i spent 13 months at home with the 1st but i learnt that while i love love love being a mother and love to infinitty and beyond (Go Buzz!) my child/children i'm just not cut out to be at home full time - not to mention the fact that the economy changed completely and we couldn't afford it. I've cut down my hours, as has my partner, but we both get out to work and get to be more than just mum/dad, the importance of which we only realised after we had kids. I'm not saying everyone has to work, i've no doubt some people make wonderful stay at home parents but it's a vocation that i don't think you can know you have until you are a parent.

I suggest you come back to us when you have kids and join the threads on here then.

LegacyUser

Thanks Rose35 - makes me feel a lot better.

After all the replies I think the best thing I can do is to monitor the situation for the next few weeks/months & if there is need for another antibiotic start looking for a childminder.

My GP was telling me about this wonderful concept that will be available, possibly when my 18 month old has his own 18 month old whereby each child will have a rough date when their immune maturity will be fully in place. She explained that a profile would be available after birth, based on their genes, which will tell when their immune defence is fully in place.

She told me that the doctors of tomorrow will laugh at our blunt attempts to measure/judge immune maturity.

Anyway, thanks everyone for their help & input.
I am happy to have the thread closed before it descends into creche-bashing and/or childminder-bashing which I never intended it too.

Thanks again.

T

Orion

Neyite wrote: »

Its so refreshing to have a young single man with no children come in and tell us how to parent properly.

It's been scientifically proven now:
http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/12/16/scientists-confirm-link-between-not-having-kids-and-knowing-exactly-how-to-raise-them/

Neyite

Orion wrote: »

It's been scientifically proven now:
http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/12/16/scientists-confirm-link-between-not-having-kids-and-knowing-exactly-how-to-raise-them/

Brilliant :D

Woshy

I'm a SAHM to an only child who is also 18 months old and he still picks up things - tonsillitis, vomiting bugs, ear infections loads of coughs and colds etc despite not being around other kids a huge amount (just a few hours a week at playgroups etc,) I think it depends on the child. I'm the kind of person that picks everything up anyway.

Horrible situation for you OP - I think waiting a month or two and seeing how you go is a sensible option.

RentDayBlues

Tower002 wrote: »

Thanks Rose35 - makes me feel a lot better.

After all the replies I think the best thing I can do is to monitor the situation for the next few weeks/months & if there is need for another antibiotic start looking for a childminder.

My GP was telling me about this wonderful concept that will be available, possibly when my 18 month old has his own 18 month old whereby each child will have a rough date when their immune maturity will be fully in place. She explained that a profile would be available after birth, based on their genes, which will tell when their immune defence is fully in place.

She told me that the doctors of tomorrow will laugh at our blunt attempts to measure/judge immune maturity.

Anyway, thanks everyone for their help & input.
I am happy to have the thread closed before it descends into creche-bashing and/or childminder-bashing which I never intended it too.

Thanks again.

T

I remember my GP telling me her immune system would kick in soon, each time we visited, it was so hard.

It has factored into our decision not to send our second to creche, but we know we're lucky to be in that position to make that decision.

A consultant I spoke to described it really well: your child is is a ion with 9 others and each of those children bring a variety of different germs to the room, your baby's system is just not able to deal with mass amount

RentDayBlues

Giver33 wrote: »

Another creche myth blown out of the water - I congratulate the OP's GP for advising to take the child out of creche. There is a horrible myth perpetuated here that it is a GOOD thing for infants to pick up disease after disease in creche 'to get them over with'.

The truth is an older child has some chance of fighting these illnesses and it is not a good thing at all to have infants clustered together in one room day after day after day, spreading these very harmful diseases to one another and to their siblings and parents.

At what point did I say it was a GOOD thing?

Sligo1

trishasaffron wrote: »

When the child is sick is an antibiotic really necessary? Most of the illnesses mentioned seem to be of the sort that a child will recover from naturally. I'm rather shocked at the level of antibiotic use rather than the level of sickness.

"Most" doctors wouldn't usually prescribe an antibiotic unless necessary. If the child for example has a sore throat and cough but with no temp... Then no antibiotic. But if the child has those symptoms with a fever, or perhaps a productive cough with green sputum then they would probably prescribe an antibiotic. Basically... An antibiotic will be prescribed/or needed, with signs if infection. Not just for sore throats etc with in signs of infection.

pwurple

Sligo1 wrote: »

"Most" doctors wouldn't usually prescribe an antibiotic unless necessary. If the child for example has a sore throat and cough but with no temp... Then no antibiotic. But if the child has those symptoms with a fever, or perhaps a productive cough with green sputum then they would probably prescribe an antibiotic. Basically... An antibiotic will be prescribed/or needed, with signs if infection. Not just for sore throats etc with in signs of infection.

Same here, my gp often does a swab as well. But, I do know doctors who prescribe a bit more generously...

Sligo1

pwurple wrote: »

Same here, my gp often does a swab as well. But, I do know doctors who prescribe a bit more generously...

Yup... They're the ones you have to watch.... Lol

LegacyUser

pwurple wrote: »

And what do large families do? Isolate the child in a room all on its own? It's not "offloading" to let children play with other children for a few hours a week.

The child in this scenario may have immune system issues, I don't know. But I'm always amused by the completely unqualified pseudo-immunologists who appear out of the woodwork here.

There were ten in my family! None of us got any of these diseases because the older ones had the immunity before starting primary school.

LegacyUser

RentDayBlues wrote: »

At what point did I say it was a GOOD thing?

Read these 'advantages':

Pwurple wrote:

If they didn't pick them up in creche I'd say they'd get them when they started school instead. All part of building their immunity i think.

Neyite wrote:

If you kept them at home until school going age they'd only succumb to the various illnesses then so you you are only putting off the inevitable.

Gmol wrote:

It does make them more robust in our experience, our little lad has missed one day in 2 years now after picking us every disease known to man

[lazygal]I know children who are home with mum all the time who get sick any time they are around other children too, because they mightn't be exposed to a lot of bugs[/QUOTE]


There is an excellent study by the Sociedade Brasileira de Pediatria which you can find online. They concluded that children at daycare are 2 to 3 times more likely to acquire infections and that there is NO evidence that their immunity becomes any better than children not in daycare. They also conclude that the daycare children may become less resistant at ear and throat infections than children not in daycare, as well as poor brain development due to extended periods of illness. Many of these results would not be seen for many years.

The measures they recommend are those you would find in a hospital - washing hands of children and workers, using disposable gloves to change nappies, disinfection of changing area after each use, washing toys regularly etc.

Hardly a natural environment for a child to be raised, in my opinion.

ariana`

Sligo1 wrote: »

"Most" doctors wouldn't usually prescribe an antibiotic unless necessary. If the child for example has a sore throat and cough but with no temp... Then no antibiotic. But if the child has those symptoms with a fever, or perhaps a productive cough with green sputum then they would probably prescribe an antibiotic. Basically... An antibiotic will be prescribed/or needed, with signs if infection. Not just for sore throats etc with in signs of infection.

Definitely and most normal parents wouldn't want a doctor who does hand them out easily. We always hold off as long as possible before going to the GP usually to the point where what might have been just 1 point of infection has become 2 or what started as sore throat has become an infected throat and an ear infection, (it's hard with small babies to judge how sick they really are and there's that constant worry that if they get too many antibiotics they'll end up immune to them), but then when this happens poor mammy ends up feeling like the worst mammy in the world. It's hard to win

Rose35

GIVER33 GUEST,

My child is not RAISED in a creche, he is RAISED by his father and I, he attends creche during the day.
This stay at home children v's children that attend creche is ridiculous it is up to each parent to
choose what is right for their own child and I believe creche is the perfect place for my child to attend whilst we are
working for his future, he is very sociable and enjoys the interaction with other kids that he gets there, he is totally
bored at home with me when I am off, I try to do what I can with him but he misses his buddies and talks about
them all the time, he is two and has attended day care since he was 6 months old and is a perfectly normal functioning child. Oh this crap really gets up my goat, nonsense studies plucked from the internet to back up nonsense claims.

Vel

I find it interesting(?), strange(?) that whenever creche bashing starts on these kind of threads most of the creche bashers post anonymously! I wonder if its the same 'fanatic' each time!!!

Orion

Vel wrote: »

I find it interesting(?), strange(?) that whenever creche bashing starts on these kind of threads most of the creche bashers post anonymously! I wonder if its the same 'fanatic' each time!!!

Let's stay on topic. I appreciate the sentiment but we're dealing with it elsewhere

Vel

My own experience: Three kids under 6, all who have attended creche over the years. My eldest (6) and youngest (2) have both had a fair few coughs, colds and infections over the years, the eldest especially. He has asthma and the youngest most likely has it too although she hasn't had enough episodes for them to officially diagnose it. Our middle child (4) had her first set of antibiotics for the first time last month and it was the first time she had missed creche since she got chicken pox a couple of years ago.

LegacyUser

Rose35 wrote: »

Oh this crap really gets up my goat, nonsense studies plucked from the internet to back up nonsense claims.

The Sociedade Brasileira de Pediatria is not a "nonsense study". It is the society for Brazilian paediatricians and has 22,000 members. It is a not-for-profit association and has no agenda nor bias.

It's generally accepted that children in childcare get more illnesses than those who aren't, so I don't know why you call this a "nonsense claim". This society have conducted a proper investigation to show the facts.

The OP asked for advice on this and I posted this research to show what the facts actually are.

pwurple

What has a study of brazillian facilities got to do with the OP?