Pregnant, need an abortion. - <Mod Warning Post #1>

grass123

Luckily, there's no one here telling me "go for it!!!!", and I haven't came here doubtful and looking for someone to pat me on the back and tell me to just go on with it and have a baby and everything will be fine, cross their heart and hope to die, and instead of that got "just go and have an abortion, I hear Dunnes cloth hangers are good" and fell under the bad influence. I came here knowing what I'll do, only not knowing how, where, how to get there, whom to call. People here helped me that and I'll be grateful for life. They just saved me some energy, some time, some money and a lot of nerves. They haven't influenced my decision in any way. I haven't noticed anyone trying to push me towards the abortion. I've decided before I came here.

Tokyo

PucaMama - I've already asked you to keep personal agendas out of this thread, and to either post towards the OP's issue, or not at all. If you have an issue with a post, report it. As your aim is not to provide advice towards the OP's issue and instead take the thread off topic, please don't post in this thread again.

Regards,
Mike

eeeee

PucaMama wrote: »

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/women_s_health/abortion_information_the_law.html

Posting things like that to others who are trying to help is bringing OP's thread off topic and your own agenda to the fore.

mike_ie wrote: »

Mod Note:

Ok, I'm going to nip this line of questioning in the bud before it goes any further. The OP asked for advice on a specific course of action in what was I'm sure a difficult decision. Lets keep advice narrowed down to what the OP actually asked, shall we?

I suggest you read and re-consider to what mike_ie has already suggested to you. Links like that do not help the OP in any way, shape or form.




ETA sorry wrote post before seeing mike_ie's response.

LegacyUser

Hi OP.

This sounds alot like my own scenario, which was almost two years ago. Firstly, well done for making a decision that you know is the best for you. People are often quick to judge when they hear the word abortion because unfortunately there is still such a stigma. Just remember, you are doing what's best for YOU, you need to look after yourself because no one else will.

I'm in Dublin, so I'm unsure about the services available in Cork. However, I went to a well woman clinic here. They go through all of your options with you. I was also thinking of Belfast, but as you said it's very difficult. If you are certain that you want an abortion, the well woman clinic will give you a letter. I used Manchester Private Clinic. With the letter, I got a price reduction of €100, bringing the cost down to €380. This was for the treatment but also included a taxi to and from the airport.

In terms of professionalism, the nurses in the Manchester Private Clinic are like no other. Unfortunately I got extremely upset before, and a nurse sat holding my hand for an hour, making sure I was okay, and that this was the right choice for me. It isn't like over here, there are no judgements.

I had a surgical abortion. As heartless as it seems, it was quick and easy. It was done with the minute I woke up. I would recommend this over a pill.

Lastly, please make sure that you are aware that this can be alot more difficult than it seems. If afterwards you feel as if you need to talk etc please do it. Many clinics offer post abortion counselling and check ups. Again, there is no judgement here. You can say what you want and they are there to listen. Never feel like it's your decision and you have to live with it. There's more support than you think.

I wish you the very best of luck OP, it's not an easy decision to make.

athtrasna

Op check out Brussels. I'm not sure if it's still the case but when I was a student it was half the price of the uk, Ryanair even advertised this in student magazines.

Stavro Mueller

OP, a few months ago Ray D'Arcy (I think) read out an email from a listener who'd ordered abortion pills online and taken them at home. To cut a long story short, she did indeed terminate her pregnancy but she also ended up seriously ill in hospital. So whatever decision you make re. your abortion, please don't go down the "home" route.

wdmfapq4zs83hv

op are you absolutely sure your pregnant? 5 weeks is very early to get a positive test. Just thought I'd mention it, might be faulty test. Either way I wish you all the best.

grass123

Yes, I've done the Tesco home test, the red line showed up immediately even though the instructions said that I'll need to wait for 3 minutes, then the next day I've bought digital intimplus and it also confirmed. AFAIK usually it's early enough to wait until the period is one day late, and the more sensitive and expensive tests can be used even before the period is late.

Yesterday I was on the phone with a nurse from Marie Stopes, she told me that even the next week it would probably be too early to see anything on the ultrasound, so if I make an appointment for the next week there's a risk that I'll come and be sent home and told to come back later. Apparently it's necessary to rule out the ectopic pregnancy before surgical or medical abortion.

Also, the good thing is they don't charge for the second procedure should the first one fail for some reason. That was worrying me terribly.

grass123

beenthere1234321 wrote: »

I had a surgical abortion. As heartless as it seems

To me, not at all. I am even considering general anaesthesia for the same reason. A part of me would like to be under it from now until it's over.

beenthere1234321 wrote: »

Lastly, please make sure that you are aware that this can be alot more difficult than it seems.

Thank you. For now, I'm handling it far better than I would've thought. Weird, but the hardest thing at this point is that I'm feeling abused by the law. It's hard to grow up perceiving something as quite basic right and then to need it and not have it any more. Also, it helps me to cope with this that, if everything goes right, I might be happily pregnant again in this time next year. And if they do get ****ed up, at least I'll know I haven't brought a new person into that situation.

Thank you.

I hope things worked out good for you and that you're ok now.

neemish

Hey OP,

Whatever you decide, I wouldn't suggest getting a bus. I once bussed it to London for another reason entirely and it was the longest, most torturous journey of my life. Making that trip, especially on the way back, would be I imagine very difficult and painful for you.

Have you talked to a counsellor face to face (I'm not trying to change your mind or influence you). I can only imagine what you are going through, and it might it helpful to talk things through in real life. Also, if you need support when you get home there will be someone who will know the story and you won;t have to start explaining yourself.

Best of luck

Littlekittylou

Hello OP. I know many many women who have had an abortion in the UK.

I know a medical abortion requires two visits. A surgical one has a quicker recovery time and requires only one visit. But you will still need to recover.

An Irish doctor will be able to provide post abortion care. That is all though.

http://www.bpas.ie/index.php is a UK site.

A medical abortion means a longer recovery and if it were me I would not want to be traveling at that time.


I am sure OP you possibly have a few friends who have had an abortions. If you know of one maybe talk to them. You might not want to talk but don't feel you can't either. I would want to be there for a friend who was going through this. And they can distract you while you are waiting (you mentioned how to deal with emotions while waiting).

I wish you and your partner all the best OP.

xx

Rosy Posy

Hi OP, from a practical point of view, I just wanted to add that after the procedure, be it medical or surgical, you will most likely have a bleed for which you will need to use pads (not tampons or a mooncup). Best of luck op.

eviltwin

I had a surgical abortion a few years ago at nine weeks. There was minimal discomfort and bleeding. I flew over and back in the same day without any issues. I felt a bit groggy as I was put out for it but that only lasted a day or two. Emotionally you will probably be a bit up and down until your hormones settle and it can take a month or two for your cycle to return to normal. You are able to get a free checkup at a family planning clinic and have counselling if you need it. I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said, just to wish you the very best of luck. There are few resources to people in this position but lots of support here on boards for post abortive women/couples if you feel you need it. Wishing you the very best, it's a difficult position to be in xx

hfallada

<SNIP> Abortion pills are not legally available in Ireland. We do not advocate the purchase and self-administration of pharmaceuticals through the Internet.

dudara

Nead21

I have no information to help you, but I just wanted to say best of luck. I can only imagine how difficult this time is for you. Please try an seek out some counselling afterwards.

Mr. Incognito

Hi there,

I have experience of this, unfortunately.

Women on the Web are excellent. Be advised that anything that you have sent to Ireland will be seized. Parcel Delivery Services that operate from Belfast to Ireland also will be seized. This can cause great distress as they take about three weeks to deliver and if they are seized you have lost those weeks and the emotional distress that goes with that.

That's why those women recently had them sent to Belfast and collecting them from there to start their protest. There is a lot of medical information on their website and their service is free although they do recommend a donation. I think a lot of people are forced to this option as it is the only option that some people can afford.

Marie Stopes in Belfast provide for a consultation, which is a fee of around €100. The prices is on their website. They can then organise lawful terminations in the UK. I believe that up to a certain number of weeks (9 or so) it is the same pill that women on the web send for free.

The Fee is reduced if you are coming from Ireland as they recognise that women have to bear the cost of travel.

They keep you for observation for a few hours and then let you go. Your partner is not allowed in with you and has to wait in the waiting area.

Marie Stopes also operate a free taxi to and from the airport (Well Manchester do anyway) and I found them to be very professional and non-judgmental.

If you have any other practical questions I have no problem answering openly and honestly here on the forum.

blacklilly

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Women on the Web are excellent. Be advised that anything that you have sent to Ireland will be seized. Parcel Delivery Services that operate from Belfast to Ireland also will be seized. This can cause great distress as they take about three weeks to deliver and if they are seized you have lost those weeks and the emotional distress that goes with that.

That's why those women recently had them sent to Belfast and collecting them from there to start their protest. There is a lot of medical information on their website and their service is free although they do recommend a donation. I think a lot of people are forced to this option as it is the only option that some people can afford.

I don't think it's a good idea to be promoting this route for obvious medical and legal reasons.

Mr. Incognito

blacklilly wrote: »

I don't think it's a good idea to be promoting this route for obvious medical and legal reasons.

The provision of information is legal as upheld in a number of Irish cases most notably SPUC v Students Union. There is no illegality to provide information about abortion in Ireland. Promotion or offering the services is illegal. Offering information as to choices is not. I am not promoting any service.

I am not a doctor and am making no statement as to medical effects/ medical supervision etc. The OP can do her own research with this regard.

I might just point out that an online Medical assessment with a doctor is part of the process Women on the Webs advertise on their website.

Tokyo

I'd like to remind everybody that as per the forum charter, please do NOT request PM exchanges with the OP, however well intentioned.

Regards,
Mike

Casualcontrol1

Hi OP. In my opinion I would advise against ordering pills online, my friend done this before and while she was ok you still don't know what are in those pills, what reaction you may have or what damage they could do. I know another friend had a surgical termination with Marie stopes a few years back and had no problems thank God, I think if you feel you need to go down this route you need to slow down and choose somewhere reputable and get the procedure done correctly to avoid long term complications. Best of luck with your decision and <mod snip-please read our charter>