Why do people want to have Children

Canis Lupus

I think 90% of people who have kids have them out of social conditioning and the other 10% are accidents.

I'm 33 never wanted them, still don't want them and my GF of 30 is the same. Parents can tell me till their blue in the face that once they smile it makes it all worthwhile etc but frankly the only people they're kidding are themselves. Childfree life = wonderful. If I want unconditional love I'll get a dog.

Jawgap

Deleted User wrote: »

We do. I wanted the challenge. I wanted to bring happiness to another set of individuals in the world. I wanted to put a little more of the girls I love in the world. And much more. My reasoning and motivations for it all are very long and I could bore you for hours.



They did. It is called boarding school.

Yeah, but that costs money - I was thinking they might develop something like 'Super Calpol' - you give it to them when they become a pain in the arse and then it wears off as the self-righteousness leaves their body......

......I'm only kidding by the way, my two teens are fine upstanding lads.......now

dynamited

Hoop66 wrote: »

OP's posts in this thread come across as the words of someone who is extremely bitter about their childhood.

Sorry to hear that, and I can perhaps understand why you wouldn't be interested in having children. It's probably not a good idea to assume that all other people feel the same way though, or that your own experience is the "right" one.

LOL

You are deluded to say the least

Jawgap

Jawgap wrote: »

Yeah, but that costs money - I was thinking they might develop something like 'Super Calpol' - you give it to them when they become a pain in the arse and then it wears off as the self-righteousness leaves their body......

Marijuana?

Jawgap

Deleted User wrote: »

Marijuana?

I was going to let them buy their own.......mine is for [ahem] medicinal purposes only

Some people have kids because they have the ability to be responsible!!!!

*Dons hat*

AnonoBoy

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Parents can tell me till their blue in the face that once they smile it makes it all worthwhile etc but frankly the only people they're kidding are themselves.

But for lots of people having kids is great. In the same way that you wouldn't have people tell you that you're wrong how you feel, you can't say that everyone else is kidding themselves and somehow everyone with kids is wrong.

Jawgap

Jawgap wrote: »

I was going to let them buy their own.......mine is for [ahem] medicinal purposes only

Thats the great thing about it - your issue can be alleviated by administering the medicine to them OR yourself Not many medicines can claim efficacy regardless of who is it administered to

anncoates

yipeeeee wrote: »

It kind of is a selfish act when you think about it.

To bring meaning and happiness into their own lives.

To boast of how proud they are when the kid achieve things because they created it.

But it's obviously a special thing or else people would stop after their first one.

Another iron clad reason to block mobile phone use from students union bars.

somefeen

OP asks a question and then spends the rest of the thread deriding people for answering it.

AnonoBoy

somefeen wrote: »

OP asks a question and then spends the rest of the thread deriding people for answering it.

It's what makes After Hours great.

somefeen

somefeen wrote: »

OP asks a question and then spends the rest of the thread deriding people for answering it.

but is not bitter

bennyineire

Darkest Horse wrote: »

I often think it seems like a good idea at the time to people before they secretly live to regret it. I've no kids and don't plan on having any but my friends who do, whether they realise it or not, constantly complain about the demands of raising kids and are envious of the freedom I have. It's inherently human to want to breed but I think if you weigh the pros and cons of your own unique situation, you may find yourself overriding the compulsion to multiply.

Wait until your in your 60/70's and you realise you have no immediate family, see how you feel then.
I'm afraid as the saying goes if you don't have kids you can't possible understand.

anncoates

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I think 90% of people who have kids have them out of social conditioning and the other 10% are accidents.

I'm 33 never wanted them, still don't want them and my GF of 30 is the same..

Is your - presumed - need and love for your girlfriend an accident or social conditioning? And will you try to convince us otherwise until blue in the face?

Ficheall

bennyineire wrote: »

Wait until your in your 60/70's and you realise you have no immediate family, see how you feel then.
I'm afraid as the saying goes if you don't have kids you can't possible understand.

Your first sentence suggests you've had kids just to look after you when you can't do it yourself... Dunno if that's a good reason to be having them..

c_man

Why do people want to have Children

I reckon I should have a kid to get full value from what I'm paying in taxes. Get my money's worth from the government like.

Into The Blue

dynamited wrote: »

LOL i was a mistake, i never even met my Father

Oh, your question makes sense now. Would you want to meet him if he presented himself to your mother?

Ficheall

suicide_circus wrote: »

Because we might like to create a life and give it a chance of experiencing the world like our parents did?

Addressing the only part of your answer which isn't selfish - how sure are you that experiencing the world is a positive thing overall?

The Peanut

I grew up in a wonderful family with loving, fun parents. Growing up that showed me how positive a family unit of parents and children could be for everyone involved - parents and children. As I went through my twenties, my wife and I lived life; worked, travelled, buried loved ones. We both wanted children, but it was well into our thirties before we felt we were ready.

Yes, it is not easy when they are small but very few worthwhile things are easy. They are now, by a mile, the very best things to ever have happened to us. We are happier than we have ever been. We are a unit of 5 instead of a unit of 2. They do their own things at times, I do my own things and my wife and I do things together. It mightn't be for everybody but I always knew I wanted to be a father. It has hugely added to my life.

Darkest Horse

bennyineire wrote: »

Wait until your in your 60/70's and you realise you have no immediate family, see how you feel then.
I'm afraid as the saying goes if you don't have kids you can't possible understand.

So kids are an insurance policy against loneliness? That's a good reason to have them.

Canis Lupus

AnonoBoy wrote: »

But for lots of people having kids is great. In the same way that you wouldn't have people tell you that you're wrong how you feel, you can't say that everyone else is kidding themselves and somehow everyone with kids is wrong.

Of course they're wrong. There are no positives for having kids other than, assuming you get on with your offspring, it prevents lonliness :P Like I already said, get a dog. Just as much fun except they cost a lot less and are easier to get rid of once the novelty wears off

dynamited

The Peanut wrote: »

I grew up in a wonderful family with loving, fun parents. Growing up that showed me how positive a family unit of parents and children could be for everyone involved - parents and children. As I went through my twenties, my wife and I lived life; worked, travelled, buried loved ones. We both wanted children, but it was well into our thirties before we felt we were ready.

Yes, it is not easy when they are small but very few worthwhile things are easy. They are now, by a mile, the very best things to ever have happened to us. We are happier than we have ever been. We are a unit of 5 instead of a unit of 2. They do their own things at times, I do my own things and my wife and I do things together. It mightn't be for everybody but I always knew I wanted to be a father. It has hugely added to my life.

In other words you're a needy sheep

Darkest Horse

Darkest Horse wrote: »

So kids are an insurance policy against loneliness? That's a good reason to have them.

I think people like to be surrounded with others that they love and who love them? Isn't that normal?

If loneliness is no concern to you then by all means live as a hermit and never mix with other people. You will never have to worry about compromising your lifestyle and it is cheaper too.

Jawgap

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Of course they're wrong. There are no positives for having kids other than, assuming you get on with your offspring, it prevents lonliness :P Like I already said, get a dog. Just as much fun except they cost a lot less and are easier to get rid of once the novelty wears off

While I think you have a valid point I think you're overlooking an important point and that is the fun to be had from being an embarrassment to your kids just by existing!

Plus you can't live vicariously through a dog.......

Playboy

Darkest Horse wrote: »

I often think it seems like a good idea at the time to people before they secretly live to regret it. I've no kids and don't plan on having any but my friends who do, whether they realise it or not, constantly complain about the demands of raising kids and are envious of the freedom I have. It's inherently human to want to breed but I think if you weigh the pros and cons of your own unique situation, you may find yourself overriding the compulsion to multiply.

Parents may complain about the lack of freedom from time to time but the vast majority I would wager are very happy with their decision. Honestly can say that becoming a parent was the best thing i ever did. Its not right for some people and you can see and hear it from certain parents but most parents I meet absolutely love it. The happiness I get from my son is unlike anything else I have ever felt and it frightens me to think that I nearly missed out on it because at one time I thought I wouldn't have kids either. Going to try for two more I'm enjoying it so much!

AnonoBoy

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Of course they're wrong. There are no positives for having kids other than, assuming you get on with your offspring, it prevents lonliness :P Like I already said, get a dog. Just as much fun except they cost a lot less and are easier to get rid of once the novelty wears off

Having a dog is stupid. They can't talk - they get parasites and they hump your leg at inappropriate times.

See? It's easy to be a contrarian. It doesn't mean you're right (although I am right about dogs)

AnonoBoy

dynamited wrote: »

In other words you're a needy sheep

You're so anti-establishment dude.

Stick it to the man - everyone else is a sheep! Share a Russell Brand video! FIGHT DA POWER!

Playboy

dynamited wrote: »

My view of people who have kids young is because they have realized they don't have what it takes to amount to anything so they basically pin all their hopes and dreams on their kids

I know your trolling but I'd wager there are a lot of parents out there who have achieved far more then you ever will. Really just looking at the statistics, most people who have ever achieved anything of significance in this world have been parents

Call Me Jimmy

I know if I had children it would bring a lot of meaning to my life and give me a very deep sense of purpose that I may otherwise lack but I'll do my best not to get into that situation.

dynamited

Playboy wrote: »

I know your trolling but I'd wager there are a lot of parents out there who have achieved far more then you ever will. Really just looking at the statistics, most people who have ever achieved anything of significance in this world have been parents

With a name like Playboy i'm disappointed with your view on this.


I'm not trolling at all just posting a thread which is based on an interesting topic, each to their own


Achieved far more than i ever will?? You have no idea of what i earn , my savings, career qualifications etc, so pipe down little boy

dynamited

dynamited wrote: »

With a name like Playboy i'm disappointed with your view on this.


I'm not trolling at all just posting a thread which is based on an interesting topic, each to their own


Achieved far more than i ever will?? You have no idea of what i earn , my savings, career qualifications etc, so pipe down little boy

yes we do, you've got 100k savings and you are buying a ****ty house in a crap area of Dublin

and you appear to be a racist. and spend a lot of time in the gym.

I don't think I like you very much

You earn 26k a year.

No offence big man but you're not exactly pulling up trees there.

Tubaiste

Tubaiste wrote: »

Who are you talking to?

Our friend dynamited

Cee-Jay-Cee

For the €120 a month child benefit of course, why else!!!

Sunny Dayz

Big Nasty wrote: »

Need a legitimate reason to get a Scalextric again.

YES!
Santa is brining one this year! My son might get to play with it when if my husband takes a break!

Slicemeister

dynamited wrote:

In other words you're a needy sheep

Why belittle the man's honest answer to your question?

Darkest Horse

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I think people like to be surrounded with others that they love and who love them? Isn't that normal?

If loneliness is no concern to you then by all means live as a hermit and never mix with other people. You will never have to worry about compromising your lifestyle and it is cheaper too.

I don't need kids to avoid loneliness in my sixties and seventies though! That's more to do with my willingness to interact with others.

ShaShaBear

Because the world is full of assholes and horrible people, and I have the ability to add one perfectly pleasant, polite and inherently good person to that mix. Maybe she'll cure cancer, maybe she will run for government and help fix some of the problems of the country. Maybe she'll be the girl with a caring smile and a few nice words of idle chitchat to the poor, lonely person at the local supermarket. Maybe she'll be the girl that makes that guy/girl realise that life isn't so bad and they'll realise what it is to love.

I've always wanted kids, and after one I still want more. When I sneak into the bedroom at 10am to wake her up only to see she is smiling ear to ear because she's recognised me is a feeling like no other. A tiny human being with nothing but the most basal understanding of feeding, safety (and learning that she can move her own fingers) but who sees you instantly as someone to love and trust - that is what makes you want to have children

dynamited

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Because the world is full of assholes and horrible people, and I have the ability to add one perfectly pleasant, polite and inherently good person to that mix. Maybe she'll cure cancer, maybe she will run for government and help fix some of the problems of the country. Maybe she'll be the girl with a caring smile and a few nice words of idle chitchat to the poor, lonely person at the local supermarket. Maybe she'll be the girl that makes that guy/girl realise that life isn't so bad and they'll realise what it is to love.

I've always wanted kids, and after one I still want more. When I sneak into the bedroom at 10am to wake her up only to see she is smiling ear to ear because she's recognised me is a feeling like no other. A tiny human being with nothing but the most basal understanding of feeding, safety (and learning that she can move her own fingers) but who sees you instantly as someone to love and trust - that is what makes you want to have children

Maybe she'll work in Hooters

dynamited

dynamited wrote: »

Maybe she'll work in Hooters

she'll earn more than you if she does

dynamited

Deleted User wrote: »

she'll earn more than you if she does

Wouldn't be surprised, they're in demand alright

eviltwin

dynamited wrote: »

Maybe she'll work in Hooters

So what if she does?

I don't know why people bother to pose questions only to belittle those who give answers they don't like.

OldNotWIse

I want them from a biological point of view, as in - my body is not really giving me much choice in the matter and the clock is definitely ticking. Objectively though, I cannot think of a single reason why I should - the world is full of dangers and fast cars and paedophiles and social media bullies and drugs and drink and they'll probably just grow up to be bitter, depressive, Irish Drunks who will bleed me dry and ensure I never sleep soundly again

Dawehead

I am in mid 30s & have no desire to have children. Wife on the other hand (late 30s) really does want to have one. I fully appreciate that children are amazing & actually think we are on this earth to procreate & prepare our offspring for the REAL world (not some make believe one). Still I don't want any, I don't want the hassle it brings to the rest of your life. I see the positives & negatives & negatives absolutely win out. Luckily nature has helped me by leaving me unable to have children, now the wife wants me to spend a fortune trying to get medical science to do something I don't want to do.

eviltwin

Dawehead wrote: »

I am in mid 30s & have no desire to have children. Wife on the other hand (late 30s) really does want to have one. I fully appreciate that children are amazing & actually think we are on this earth to procreate & prepare our offspring for the REAL world (not some make believe one). Still I don't want any, I don't want the hassle it brings to the rest of your life. I see the positives & negatives & negatives absolutely win out. Luckily nature has helped me by leaving me unable to have children, now the wife wants me to spend a fortune trying to get medical science to do something I don't want to do.

That's a tough position to be in, good luck with that. Did you not have the kids talk before you married?

Jawgap

dynamited wrote: »

Maybe she'll work in Hooters

Maybe she will and maybe she'll be perfectly happy to do so.

I'd say most parents would love for their kids to grow up, cure cancer, play for Ireland, win a Nobel price etc, but it when it boils down to it, you really just want them to be happy in whatever they do.

Only a fairly shallow person would assume that a particular job, company or lifestyle would be incapable of being able to provide happiness.

If I'd a daughter and she said she wanted to work in Hooters, my advice would be the same - "if it makes you happy, then fine it makes me happy" and "just make sure you do your best - be the best damned Hooters girl you can be!"

Dawehead

eviltwin wrote: »

That's a tough position to be in, good luck with that. Did you not have the kids talk before you married?

She knew about my medical problems before we got married, but secretly hoped (and still does) that it would be ok. Plenty of tests and 8months worth of 6 injections a week have proved what I was told years ago.

dynamited

Why do i get the impression that nobody here shares my view on this?

OldNotWIse

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Because the world is full of assholes and horrible people, and I have the ability to add one perfectly pleasant, polite and inherently good person to that mix. Maybe she'll cure cancer, maybe she will run for government and help fix some of the problems of the country. Maybe she'll be the girl with a caring smile and a few nice words of idle chitchat to the poor, lonely person at the local supermarket. Maybe she'll be the girl that makes that guy/girl realise that life isn't so bad and they'll realise what it is to love.

I've always wanted kids, and after one I still want more. When I sneak into the bedroom at 10am to wake her up only to see she is smiling ear to ear because she's recognised me is a feeling like no other. A tiny human being with nothing but the most basal understanding of feeding, safety (and learning that she can move her own fingers) but who sees you instantly as someone to love and trust - that is what makes you want to have children

I'm sure all their parents had the same vision for their children too...