Why do people want to have Children

creolebelle

To contribute something good to the world.
I also want to love and nurture a being that came from me(and their father)
Yes It's a selfish desire.

To have something live and grow inside of you has to be a remarkable life changing experience.

Luke92

People should have as many kids as they want, unless they can't control the fuc*ers!

Why after not being able to control the first one, why would anyone go and have another 5 kids to not control! Its ridiculous!

Fluorosilisic Frank

I think many people have them because they are bored with life, and kids give you a nice long project to work on.

I have 3 nieces that I'm mad about and spend a lot of time with, but I think I'd go insane if I couldn't just hand them back whenever they started to bug me.....which would be often.

creolebelle

Luke92 wrote: »

People should have as many kids as they want, unless they can't control the fuc*ers!

Why after not being able to control the first one, why would anyone go and have another 5 kids to not control! Its ridiculous!

Control and afford. I will never understand people who keep having children when they're financially struggling with the first one. It's not fair to the children

Dickie10

anyone not thinking of having children so they can travel the world and be financially secure, ? as far as i can see children are dreadfully expensive

bb1234567

As a 19 year old I just think its something that needs to be done, like there would be a big gap missing from your life if you don't start a family. Maybe Im wrong, but if I never come to a point where Im in the right position financially and emotionally to have a family Ill probably be very disappointed in myself. Not angry with myself but I will just regret it forever I know I will

also kids are so cute and it looks amazing caring for them properly and watching them grow and being with them at all the big points in their lives!

Macavity.

I don't want any children and think it's morally wrong for people to do so if they can't afford it and/or have genes that may predisposition those children to unwanted afflictions.

SEPT 23 1989

Dickie10 wrote: »

anyone not thinking of having children so they can travel the world and be financially secure, ? as far as i can see children are dreadfully expensive

I can tell you they really really are but a sensible couple always does the financial calculations just before they fcuk especially the man

CantonasCollar

The main reason I had kids was so that I could stomp around Tesco doing funny walks pretending to be a crocodile and not get kicked out. It's just lucky my eldest finds this hilarious and joins in.

Cen taurus

Dickie10 wrote: »

anyone not thinking of having children so they can travel the world and be financially secure, ? as far as i can see children are dreadfully expensive

So's growing old on your own, and paying for nursing care and other help with no one to help protect you. Surviving into old age in this world, without the protection of close family, ain't easy, and it's getting worse. Old people aren't very well treated or respected in this society anymore.

jester77

They are a great way to save money.

I used to take 2-3 foreign holidays a year and would eat out a few nights a week. Now that there are kids, foreign holidays are too much stress and going out for a meal together once a week is even a challenge.

jobless

I willing to bet a lot of the negative comments here are from twenty something's, I was one too... too expensive, kill ur social life etc etc... as a recent father and that bit older its the best thing ive ever done... I know im going to have many great fun years ahead watching him grow...

Cienciano

jester77 wrote: »

They are a great way to save money.

I used to take 2-3 foreign holidays a year and would eat out a few nights a week. Now that there are kids, foreign holidays are too much stress and going out for a meal together once a week is even a challenge.

Don't need to invest in an alarm for the mornings either. You get woken up no matter what.

SMJSF

Cen taurus wrote:

So's growing old on your own, and paying for nursing care and other help with no one to help protect you. Surviving into old age in this world, without the protection of close family, ain't easy, and it's getting worse. Old people aren't very well treated or respected in this society anymore.

so basically, your not going to make kids for the family aspect, but for them to pay for your nursing home / elderly care?

jester77

Cienciano wrote: »

Don't need to invest in an alarm for the mornings either. You get woken up no matter what.

That's true, 8:00 is now considered a lie in

uck51js9zml2yt

My wife told me I wanted kids.....




.....she was right

Cen taurus

SMJSF wrote: »

so basically, your not going to make kids for the family aspect, but for them to pay for your nursing home / elderly care?

So basically you're going to make up what I said and put a question mark at the end of it ?

gormdubhgorm

Cen taurus wrote: »

So's growing old on your own, and paying for nursing care and other help with no one to help protect you. Surviving into old age in this world, without the protection of close family, ain't easy, and it's getting worse. Old people aren't very well treated or respected in this society anymore.

Your children might lump you in a nursing home at the first chance they get either!:eek:

Cen taurus

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Your children might lump you in a nursing home at the first chance they get either!:eek:

and so might yours and so might their children do the same to them or they might look after their parents so they might.

bb1234567

jester77 wrote: »

They are a great way to save money.

I used to take 2-3 foreign holidays a year and would eat out a few nights a week. Now that there are kids, foreign holidays are too much stress and going out for a meal together once a week is even a challenge.

....
Thats like saying its a good way to not get a brain tumour by chopping off your head

Zippie84

For love.

Desolation Of Smug

You and me baby we ain't nothin but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...

Mr. teddywinkles

jobless wrote: »

I willing to bet a lot of the negative comments here are from twenty something's, I was one too... too expensive, kill ur social life etc etc... as a recent father and that bit older its the best thing ive ever done... I know im going to have many great fun years ahead watching him grow...

Social life in thirities if you don't have kids is just not there due to your mates having kids anyways lol unless you just hang out with twenty somethings

GTX 780

I won't be having kids myself. I certainly won't be missing anything in my life at all, if I don't.

It probably wouldn't be the best thing that has ever happened me, if I did have kids, to be honest. That's why I'm deciding not have them; it would be completely selfish and very unfair on them. No persuading will ever change my mind in the slightest.

I know I'm coming across as a bit brash here, but I'm just being honest with myself and everyone else.

Macavity.

jobless wrote: »

I willing to bet a lot of the negative comments here are from twenty something's, I was one too... too expensive, kill ur social life etc etc... as a recent father and that bit older its the best thing ive ever done... I know im going to have many great fun years ahead watching him grow...

He will grow up to resent you. When you are old he will be "too busy" to come visit.

Mr. teddywinkles

Macavity. wrote: »

He will grow up to resent you. When you are old he will be "too busy" to come visit.

Jaysus the negativity in this thread. Speculate all you want about not having kids or having them. Its not till you have your own sprog youll know either way.

Supercell

Being in my early 40's with the third kid in the last 4 years its funny to reflect on how things have come full circle for me at least.
In my 20's and early to mid 30's the thought of having kids seems wasteful, scary, pointless and "not right for me".
However I can honestly say that the second I saw my first child being born (I was there, I cut the cord) that all changed. Its like a biological switch was flicked.
These days my only regret is not having them 10 years ago! Its a cliche but you really have no idea how it feels until you hold your own.

GTX 780

Supercell wrote: »

Its a cliche but you really have no idea how it feels until you hold your own.

That's true enough. It will determine whether you want them or decide to put them up for adoption.

TheLastMohican

Now I would have thought the ride would be an important factor.

Satori Rae

Sometimes I would love to have kids.....then I think about the possibility of getting ripped from my v to my a and that shuts that down. Really bad phobia over the birthing process!!

jobless

Macavity. wrote: »

He will grow up to resent you. When you are old he will be "too busy" to come visit.

haha... some negativity here... he might resent me if im a bad father alright or to put a more positive spin we could be best mates for ever.... I know which ill be trying for...

average_runner

While kids can be hard work, every day they will amaze you and make you laugh and smile.

I had my going out days and weekends etc away, don't miss them as after awhile they are all the same.

Seeing the excitement of the kids on holidays, birthdays, Xmas etc makes it all even more special

hollster2

I've always wanted children but a few of my friends didn't.

There mothers now, I wouldn't know what id be doing without my children.

The first Tim I felt them move
The first cry when their born
The first smile/laugh
First Time they say mama/dada

I never thought I could love someone so much

suicide_circus

World War 3 needs cannon fodder

Penny Tration

Mr. teddywinkles wrote: »

Jaysus the negativity in this thread. Speculate all you want about not having kids or having them. Its not till you have your own sprog youll know either way.

I'm pretty sure I don't need to have a kid to know whether or not I want one. I don't. Simple as that.

Drumpot

Having a child with my wife was always something I wanted. Being adopted I had this insatiable desire to have my own family from a very young age.

Nothing can prepare you for children. No amount of reading or education or advice can do it justice.

Being a responsible, caring parent is the hardest thing in my life. They push me to the limits, constantly test what little patience is left in me after another night of crap sleep and they always want/need something.

But it's all worth it. They give my life a selfless purpose and bring a new level of love into my house/relationship. When they put their arms up to me to lift them. When they smile as I enter the room and they come straight for me for comfort. When they call me daddy. When I comfort them when they are unwell. When I get them treats or take them somewhere exciting and they nearly wet themselves with excitement. When I have to clean up their accidents and they are embarrassed and I say "it's ok pet, everybody makes mistakes" and their anguish disipates.

I think it's sad that many people will never truely know what it's like to unconditionaly love and nurture such a beautiful being. It's not for everybody and some people shouldn't be allowed to have children, but it's the most fulfilling thing in my life.

Penny Tration

Drumpot wrote: »

Having a child with my wife was always something I wanted. Being adopted I had this insatiable desire to have my own family from a very young age.

Nothing can prepare you for children. No amount of reading or education or advice can do it justice.

Being a responsible, caring parent is the hardest thing in my life. They push me to the limits, constantly test what little patience is left in me after another night of crap sleep and they always want/need something.

But it's all worth it. They give my life a selfless purpose and bring a new level of love into my house/relationship. When they put their arms up to me to lift them. When they smile as I enter the room and they come straight for me for comfort. When they call me daddy. When I comfort them when they are unwell. When I get them treats or take them somewhere exciting and they nearly wet themselves with excitement. When I have to clean up their accidents and they are embarrassed and I say "it's ok pet, everybody makes mistakes" and their anguish disipates.

I think it's sad that many people will never truely know what it's like to unconditionaly love and nurture such a beautiful being. It's not for everybody and some people shouldn't be allowed to have children, but it's the most fulfilling thing in my life.

I think your description of your love for your children is heartwarming and lovely to read. I think your last paragraph is silly, though. I have unconditional love for my parents and siblings. I helped raise my kid sisters due to my mother being disabled. I understand unconditional love and have nurtured children, just not my own.

JustTheOne

Do people have kids to give their life meaning, is it a selfish act?

Penny Tration

JustTheOne wrote: »

Do people have kids to give their life meaning, is it a selfish act?

Probably as selfish as deciding not to have any. We're all inherently selfish.

Drumpot

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

I think your description of your love for your children is heartwarming and lovely to read. I think your last paragraph is silly, though. I have unconditional love for my parents and siblings. I helped raise my kid sisters due to my mother being disabled. I understand unconditional love and have nurtured children, just not my own.

I'm not sure why the last paragraph is silly.

I wasn't insulting people who don't have children and didn't state that it has to be your own child. I am adopted and understand more then most that unconditional love is not limited to blood relatives.

I was saying the thought of people never having unconditional love for a beautiful little child and being a part in their growth is sad in the feel sorry for them sense.

Drumpot

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

Probably as selfish as deciding not to have any. We're all inherently selfish.

True.

It could be argued that a persons motive for having or not having children would determine whether or not they are selfish. Although in saying that I don't necessarily think its that simple.

CathyMoran

I have always wanted children and have always been protective of other people. I was very ill a few years ago (cancer) and had to face the prospect that I may never be a parent but my husband and I were incredibly lucky to have a 3 and a 4 year old and love them to bits. They do so many little things every day that make us smile, yes we always worry about them too but it is brilliant being a parent.

whatdoicare

Hearing your little one do the mama song into the monitor every morning is lovely, it goes something like this:
Mama maaama maaammy mummy moom mooom mum mum mmaaaammaaa (repeat for 15 minutes )
Mamaaaaaa..............
Dada!

All sung in a lovely sing song lullaby type song. Until she gets to Dada, which sounds like your one from the exorcist.

Seriously, having a kid is awesome, its hard work but the pure enjoyment you get everyday out weighs any downside.

Also, when your little one cuddles up to you, puts their little arm around your neck, you get a lovely happy feeling, then when she turns around and starts slapping your boobs while laughing like a maniac, that's comedy gold! Theyre mad yolks, you never know what theyre gonna do next but its always hilarious!

Lucyfur

My son makes a deadly cup of tea.

Malari

Lucyfur wrote: »

My son makes a deadly cup of tea.

:-D no finer reason to have children!

Macavity.

JustTheOne wrote: »

Do people have kids to give their life meaning, is it a selfish act?

People have children to fulfill their own selfish desire. An act that will needlessly expose their "loved ones" to a world of pain. I hope someday humanity can evolve from this circus it epitomises.

Ghost Buster

Macavity. wrote: »

People have children to fulfill their own selfish desire. An act that will needlessly expose their "loved ones" to a world of pain. I hope someday humanity can evolve from this circus it epitomises.

You need to read different Sci Fi!

Rubberchikken

i don't agree with the sentiment that someone should/does feel sorry for anyone without children.
many people are perfectly happy not having children and maybe they wouldn't welcome sympathy, however well meant, as it's completely unnecessary in their eyes.

the saddest thing i feel is people who don't want 'children'. they want babies. differnt thing imo. babies to a lot of people are easy because of what they are. children on the other hand require a lot of time/attention etc.

anncoates

JustTheOne wrote: »

Do people have kids to give their life meaning, is it a selfish act?

You could say that everything we do is essentially selfish, if you wanted to spend your whole life in reductionist self-absorption, which most normal people stop doing after the age of 25, to be fair.

sh1tstirrer

dynamited wrote: »

Obviously the baby making process is fun but seriously who actually wants to have children?

Why6 did your parents have you?