Advice - bully housemate

Johngoose

He sounds like a total knob alright.Sounds pretty serious to me.You are being bullied by this ar$e hole.I would ring landlord as others have said and have him evicted.

the ax murderer

If you feel unsafe in your own home definitely contact the landlord, you don't want anything to escalate.

Sclosages

Hide his drink. Actually, he might go berserk if you did that, so maybe not..... :eek:
Don't know where you stand legally, since there's no lease in place. You're not the landlord, the landlord is. Presumably it is up to him to boot him out.

Does yer man pay the rent to you or to the landlord?

Is ze cat gone? I'm allergic to cats also, so I can fully understand why you put your foot down in that respect.

What does he be banging on your door for? To talk to you? Or does he just give it a thump whenever he passes? Honestly, I'd be more than a little afraid of this dude..... If he's a bit deranged to start with, adding drink into the mix is a ticking timebomb.

If I was you, I would explain all to the landlord. In writing. Bullet point the things he has done and how often. Bullet point that you are afraid, uncomfortable etc. If landlord won't evict, safest thing for you would be to move really.

trixychic

Op i don't think you did yourself a favor stating the fact that you are female. Man or woman the point is this person sounds abusive. Mentally and potentially physically. Tell the LL immediately. If this fails you could try recording the incidents and calling up gardai.

I don't think playing his tricks back on him would help at all. Hope the issue gets sorted.

Wabbit Ears

Truth is no man can beat a woman at their own game.

With 'their own game' being psychopathically unreasonable when scorned.


Go on, you know you can easily make his life a living hell without even bunching your mascara.

eyescreamcone

Never trust a man who likes cats!!!

Mick Murdock

The old women are at it again. This place gets worse by the week. PC brigade trawling through threads looking to be offended.

You can be sure this fella wouldn't be so aggressive with someone who he didn't think he could intimidate so easily. As a woman, a very patient woman by the sounds of it, the OP has every right to point that out.

Get your brother and preferably a few more lads, get his stuff and turf him out. There is no reasoning with scum like this.

Arbiter of Good Taste

marykitty47 wrote: »

Your comment is very uncalled for. As a female yes I am able to deal with this I have tried talking to him but he is aggressive as he is drunk the majority of the time. He drinks every evening. It's not petty things like moving pots and pans..he hides them in the press in the sitting room, hiding the washing up liquid in the dishwasher, toaster n press under the stairs

Actually OP, he sounds mentally unstable, which could escalate to dangerous.

Perhaps you should think about cutting your losses and moving out. You can kick him out, but he knows where you live and has the keys. He may come back. Maybe it's time to just move on. It's a shame you are the one who has to suffer, but it might be better in the long run.

To be honest, it's hard to think clearly when you are in the middle of it. Years ago I shared with a girl who had mental issues. She wasn't dangerous (well, maybe she was dangerous to herself) but it was hell to live with. I let it get to me - working late to avoid going home, staying away at weekends, etc. etc. She eventually moved on and the house became a completely different place. Made me realise I should have just packed my bags and left early on.

anonyanony

Mick Murdock wrote: »

The old women are at it again. This place gets worse by the week. PC brigade trawling through threads looking to be offended.

You can be sure this fella wouldn't be so aggressive with someone who he didn't think he could intimidate so easily. As a woman, a very patient woman by the sounds of it, the OP has every right to point that out.

Get your brother and preferably a few more lads, get his stuff and turf him out. There is no reasoning with scum like this.

We are only getting her side of the story, she could be exaggerating it greatly. Go to the LL to mediate OP

Mick Murdock

anonyanony wrote: »

We are only getting her side of the story, she could be exaggerating it greatly. Go to the LL to mediate OP

What a point of view that is. Might aswell close discussion forums entirely with that attitude.

anonyanony

Mick Murdock wrote: »

What a point of view that is. Might aswell close discussion forums entirely with that attitude.

Your suggestion was to use Violence to forcefully remove the person it's too extreme, go to the LL, I had a friend where their house mate was crazy and kept saying to the housemates the kinda thing OP is saying, the guy saying the housemates where hiding his stuff and being mean finally left the house after they went to the LL and it went back to normal everyone was happy.

MayoAreMagic

This guy is trying to force you out of the house so he can have it for himself. Dont fall for it and dont retaliate in kind. Just simply list out everything he has done and is doing. Like hiding stuff in crazy places, trying to bring an animal into the house, banging on your door when drunk etc. Print off a copy and give it to him. Tell him if any of this happens again you will be giving one to the LL and another to the guards. I bet he changes his tune.

He is doing this because he can get away with it. Because you dont call him on it, he will keep doing it. He thinks it's working. The above will show him that it isnt, and that he has gone too far.

Thargor

Op you've been asked about 6 times, is the cat still there?

marykitty47

Thargor wrote: »

Op you've been asked about 6 times, is the cat still there?

No the cat is gone.

Dixie Chick

I think your first step is to write out as best you can individual circumstances. Then with your info gathered approach your landlord.

The people who come onto a thread where someone is asking for advice and side with the other party or nit pick at a comment always baffle mw. If the fella is making her feel unsafe then she is entitled to say so and why she feels like it. Hiding of pots in weird places on purpose is weird places is just menacing and of course cause discomfort for her.-

Toulouse

Thargor wrote: »

Op you've been asked about 6 times, is the cat still there?

She answered that in post 12.

The_Conductor

Thargor wrote: »

Op you've been asked about 6 times, is the cat still there?

See post 12 in the thread.........The OP advised the cat is gone. People kept asking whether the cat was still there or not- its not the OP's fault that they didn't bother reading the other posts.......

The_Conductor

Toulouse wrote: »

She answered that in post 12.

Beat me to it!

Mrs OBumble

anonyanony wrote: »

Go to the LL to mediate OP

If the LL did not choose the housemate, then the LL is unlikely to be willing to mediate.

The problem is of the OP's choosing, so needs to be of their fixing.

anonyanony

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

If the LL did not choose the housemate, then the LL is unlikely to be willing to mediate.

The problem is of the OP's choosing, so needs to be of their fixing.

Then if her side is the full truth she needs to move for her Safety, if she uses violence like the other poster suggested she will never feel safe as it will just make him angry and he knows where she lives and if he is unstable might come back when her heavys are gone.

Pucking Fissed Off

Thargor wrote: »

Op you've been asked about 6 times, is the cat still there?

marykitty47 wrote: »

Yes the cat is gone[\b] and he hasn't spoken to me since. I'm hoping once I speak to the landlord something will be done. I have briefly mentioned it to him before when he was abusive when drunk one night.
its a very uncomfortable atmosphere to be living in. As I said I would love to stay here. I've never had any issues with the previous tenant she had to move to a different county due to work.

Already answered.

Worthy of all love

He sounds like an absolute idiot, thinking he could intimidate you out of the place.

Anyway, he's such an idiot, that you could outsmart him-

Contact landlord, tell him/her what's happening, and give them a possible plan of attack:

Ask them to issue you all with notice that they are selling/moving back in or hiking up rent or something anything.

Move everything you own out as soon as the date approaches/sooner if that suits.
Do it someday when you know he's out for work. Move in with a friend/family member/b and b, anywhere.

Let him come home, and find you and all the stuff gone. Big surprise for him, no kettle or toaster or anything to use.
Keep paying the landlord though.

He will have to move out as hopefully you won't even leave a knife or a pot or a microwave or anything for him to use.

You move back in. With all the stuff.

Simples.

((((((Devious laugh)))))))))))

Cu Baire

Worthy of all love wrote: »

He sounds like an absolute idiot, thinking he could intimidate you out of the place.

Anyway, he's such an idiot, that you could outsmart him-

Contact landlord, tell him/her what's happening, and give them a possible plan of attack:

Ask them to issue you all with notice that they are selling/moving back in or hiking up rent or something anything.

Move everything you own out as soon as the date approaches/sooner if that suits.
Do it someday when you know he's out for work. Move in with a friend/family member/b and b, anywhere.

Let him come home, and find you and all the stuff gone. Big surprise for him, no kettle or toaster or anything to use.
Keep paying the landlord though.

He will have to move out as hopefully you won't even leave a knife or a pot or a microwave or anything for him to use.

You move back in. With all the stuff.

Simples.

((((((Devious laugh)))))))))))

BRILLIANT

Outsmart the housemate who is trying to get the OP to move out......... by moving out and leaving this guy in the house rent free.

anonyanony

marykitty47 wrote: »

No the cat is gone.

What he do with it?

Worthy of all love

Cu Baire

"BRILLIANT

Outsmart the housemate who is trying to get the OP to move out......... by moving out and leaving this guy in the house rent free."



There must be a way to iron out any creases in the plan, such as what you pointed out. Two minds are better than one, so come on, let's work together here, and outsmart this guy for the OPs sake. She's decent (by the sounds of it), he's not, so why should she have to lose?

anonyanony

Worthy of all love wrote: »

Cu Baire

"BRILLIANT

Outsmart the housemate who is trying to get the OP to move out......... by moving out and leaving this guy in the house rent free."



There must be a way to iron out any creases in the plan, such as what you pointed out. Two minds are better than one, so come on, let's work together here, and outsmart this guy for the OPs sake. She's decent (by the sounds of it), he's not, so why should she have to lose?

Cause you don't piss off a crazy person you get as far away as possible, her moving for her safety is her best choice.

Bigus

marykitty47 wrote: »

Yes the cat is gone and he hasn't spoken to me since. I'm hoping once I speak to the landlord something will be done. I have briefly mentioned it to him before when he was abusive when drunk one night.
its a very uncomfortable atmosphere to be living in. As I said I would love to stay here. I've never had any issues with the previous tenant she had to move to a different county due to work.

Answered already

Cu Baire

Unfortunately there is only one solution.
As she invited him to become a tenant she will have to give him notice to leave and tell him that it is not working out.
It could mean leaving herself for a few weeks if she feels this would make her unsafe.
If he refuses to leave then she could take it up with the landlord and maybe threaten Garda involvement.
There is no lease which means he has no legal rights as he has I believe only been there a matter of months.

Worthy of all love

Anonyanony:

"Cause you don't piss off a crazy person you get as far away as possible, her moving for her safety is her best choice."

I do agree, her safety is paramount. But isn't it sad that in our society today, this is what is going on- Decent people being treated unfairly and having to suffer in silence, walk away, while thugs are running the show??

Worthy of all love

anonyanony wrote: »

Cause you don't piss off a crazy person you get as far away as possible, her moving for her safety is her best choice.

Cu Baire wrote: »

Unfortunately there is only one solution.
As she invited him to become a tenant she will have to give him notice to leave and tell him that it is not working out.

THIS: It could mean leaving herself for a few weeks if she feels this would make her unsafe. This is nearly the same plan as what I suggested?


If he refuses to leave then she could take it up with the landlord and maybe threaten Garda involvement.
There is no lease which means he has no legal rights as he has I believe only been there a matter of months.

Just seeing how this quote thing works - I'm new, sorry for any inconvenience.