helping first time mom after a cesarean

LegacyUser

hi,
my wife had a c-section in the last week and is coming home over the weekend. i know that she wont't be able to do a lot of things for around 6 weeks so if anyone who had one has any practical advice then i'd really appreciate it!

bovril

I had a c section and i was comfortable looking after the baby (feeding etc)and to be honest feeding and trying to get some sleep were enough. My husband did shopping and cooked meals if we didn't have a ready meal to hand. We got a cleaner in for a once off clean. Hubby did all the clothes washes too and most of the nappy changes. She won't be allowed drive or pick up heavy things. I got out of the house with the baby as soon as i felt ready for a short walk and over time went for slghtly longer walks. I also got into bed in the afternoon and tried to get a sleep then. Try to keep visitors at bay for a few weeks.

monflat

I'd agree with above I had 3 sections and help with housework was a bonus
I found that thou letting me get rest was the best thing ever.
Some find sections ok others find them awful.

Minimising visitors is an essential part of minding her too as they sap your energy despite meaning well.


Also I would continue to give help after the 6 week mark as if it's your first or even if you have more children I find each time was different
.

December2012

Tell her to keep taking her pain medication. She may want to tough it out, but that's not good. Her body needs to knit back together slowly after surgery. She can't do this if she's in pain. So keep taking the painkillers as directed (ie don't wait for the pain!).

By movement I mean simple basic things, I don't mean exercise!

She may be constipated - after all she has had major abdominal surgery. You could ask in the chemists about stool softeners to help her here.

If she's breastfeeding then a bean bag / sausage pillow is great! Keep her elbow that's holding the baby supported!

She could get in touch with a local breastfeeding group - cuidiu, la leche league or parenting forums can help.

She should stay hydrated and rested and fed nutritious food to help her recover.

It's Christmas next week - do whatever she wants for it. Accept it's likely to be a low key and tiring day, but next year will be more fun.

Get a cleaner if you can, regularly you'll be washing, drying or putting away laundry! Plus you'll both be tired from getting up with baby so get somebody else to do what you can.

Sleeping with a towel nearby is good in case there are night time feeds and spit ups. A mattress protector will help too to stop your bed from getting soiled.

As much as you both can, enjoy this time. Be kind to each other. And be patient with yourselves and each other.

And congratulations!

galah

Cosleeper bed if breastfeeding (or not, actually) - i found that while most things were fine, lifting baby over the cot bars into the cot would not have been a good idea...

Congrats by the way

Marz66

She will be able to look after baby, but household jobs or anything that involves bending down will be hard - cooking, bins etc. Lifting dishwasher, hoover, buggy is not allowed til 6 weeks.

If you are working, when you get in ask her what she would like done as there could be stuff she couldnt do during the day - could be something as simple as mopping up a spill.

Bring her meals including offering cups of tea 😊. Make her lunch in the morning if she will be on her own for the day.

Offer her a hand getting off the couch/out of bed for first week or so at home.

Don't get burnt out yourself. Just cos your wife can't do housework doesn't mean you have to do it - leave what doesn't need to be done.
Have your own time with baby - it will only be that tiny for a few weeks. Get your own rest so that you are able to help when you're needed.

Congrats!

Mountainsandh

Same as what the others have said, but if I could add just one thing, it would be to do a round of your presses/cupboards at home, and check if there is anything on the top shelves/bottom shelves she might need when you're out and about.
Say, if you have a spare instant coffee jar in stock and it's a bit high up in the press, it might be an idea to leave it down on the counter rather than have her stretch to get it when the current jar is empty.
Just little details like that. Things that could run out while you're out, and she might not be able to reach the replacement (toilet roll ...).

It's going to sound ancient, but I would have loved a good old fashioned walking cane after my c-sections, to help me get up from bed, or the sofa... and reach for the remote

monflat

Oh buy her a grabber one of those litter picker ones.
The best thing ever I've had mine throughout all my pregnancies and post cesarean.
The best piece of equipment!!!!

December2012

Also, be aware that there might come a time where she might feel frustrated at the fact that she had a c section and not a "normal" delivery.

Particularly if it's a crash or emergency section.

Personally I did, in fact a few times.

At times like that, a listen, a hug and reassurance were what I needed.

galah

Marz66 wrote: »

Lifting dishwasher, hoover, buggy is not allowed til 6 weeks.

You know you don't need to lift your dishwasher? :pac::D (only messing )

Although i found that life gets in the way of all these rules especially when you have another child to look after that whole driving thing is a weird one as well, my gp almost had a fit when i asked about it, he said he doesnt see any reason why i shouldnt have driven as soon as i felt up to it, yet the insurer wanted a letter, despite no clauses in the policy. Just strange.

Mountainsandh

I started driving before the 6 weeks were gone for the second, CS recovery was all okey-dokey for that one, didn't tell the insurers .
I felt good, and well able, so I took the chance.

The first was emergency CS, recovery went very badly so was out of action for a long time.


A cane and a grabber like Monflat said ! Yes ! The grabber ! I would sooo wish I'd had one for the pregnancies and the recoveries.

She will have them for future pregnancies too.

And congratulations by the way, enjoy the baby, and like others have said, don't overdo it yourself, tidying can wait, enjoy the baby while it's small, everyone understands that new baby houses are messy houses.

nirvana78

It was lovely reading about your concerns for your wife and what you can do for her. I've had two sections, another one booked for next April and my soldier hubby was a real trooper, he was a huge help. He took as much time off work as he could and done as much housework and help with baby as he could.

Nurse said I couldn't do dishes as I'd be moving from left to right, this would not help wound heal. Hubby hates doing dishes but done them when required. I was breast feeding and he got up for every feed to hand me baby and then change them afterwards, in his own words he said " it was the least he could do". After about two weeks, there was a noticeable improvement in my recovery so it was much easier for him.

My hubby is great around the house and this was a big relief for me, he just knew what needed doing. If he kept asking me all the time what needed to be done, that would have wrecked my head, so if you could bear that in mind you'd be doing great.

I promise you it gets easier as the weeks pass by.

Congratulations to you both.

Soooky

Ah congrats!! Haven't much to add that hasn't been said already - exactly this time last year I was recovering from C-section and my lovely OH took time off work to look after us! So if that is an option for you it would really help your wife

Otherwise lots of ready meals in the freezer are a lifesaver! Make sure your wife has lots of water and snacks at hand and tell her not to do anything except feed and change baby and go to the loo! Make sure your wife has lots of pillows at hand - for holding the baby on, for holding against her stomach when she has to cough, for holding when getting in and out of bed etc. I also found the iPad invaluable for all the sitting around resting and breastfeeding. And most of all enjoy time with your baby!!! The time goes so quickly