No longer attracted to my girlfriend

nails1

My girlfriend has gained a lot of weight over the past year and I find myself less and less attracted to her. I no longer wish to have sex with her but still love her which I don't think she realises. Am I best to tell her about how I truly feel or does this sound selfish?

Dont call me Shirley

It's ok, I fancy the arse off her.

bodice ripper

I wouldn't make her the subject of an After Hours thread for a start.

cloud493

Send it this way boy.

Tail Docker

nails1 wrote: »

My girlfriend has gained a lot of weight over the past year and I find myself less and less attracted to her. I no longer wish to have sex with her but still love her which I don't think she realises. Am I best to tell her about how I truly feel or does this sound selfish?

The clue is in the "girlfriend" bit. As opposed to "wife" or "fiance".

corsav6

Just turn the lights off, problem solved.

Sheep Lover

Throw flour on her and look for a wet patch, it's the easiest way OP

Macavity.

Say to her "Lose some weight, you are beginning to look like a whale."

Women like a man who is direct and honest with them.

bjork

Buy her a soda stream maker. Then she is not just a girlfriend, she is a girlfriend with a soda stream maker. I bought one for my partner for Christmas and now they are 100% more attractive.

Karl Stein

Run away quite fast.

Macavity.

Karl Stein wrote: »

Run away quite fast.

Probably doesn't even have to be quite fast.

Amazingfun

Tail Docker wrote: »

The clue is in the "girlfriend" bit. As opposed to "wife" or "fiance".

Agree.

I'd talk to her in a calm setting (suggestion: over Christmas dinner isn't ideal :P) and ask her what's going on. I gained an enormous amount of weight and couldn't figure out why. Turned out I had hypothyroidism and once I was on the right thyroid replacement and made some dietary adjustments-the weight fell back off and I was back to my old sexy self lol . Give her a chance: she might be sick and not know it. It's a terrible illness when gone undetected but is easily remedied when it is.

Guess it comes down to whether you think she is worth the effort or not. Like: do you really love her or do you just want out?

Dayum

Walk into the room and ask "Hey, Shamu...have you seen my girlfriend?"

She'll get the hint.

myshirt

Fat chicks do more stuff

SCOOP 64

Why do women always start off slim?

Dark Artist

Probably best thing is to be honest and say you think she could make more effort to keep in shape. It will probably shock her but when it sinks in she'll probably be grateful you said it.

That said, if you're not attracted to her purely because you're bored then that's a different story. It's not fair to make her go to the trouble of exercising more and eating better if you're just going to dump her anyway.

Micky Dolenz

Welcome to the real world buddy.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Maybe suggest to her that you both take up jogging in the new year or join a gym. She might appreciate some help in trying to get back in shape, she might not either but worth a try.

corner of hells

nails1 wrote: »

My girlfriend has gained a lot of weight over the past year and I find myself less and less attracted to her. I no longer wish to have sex with her but still love her which I don't think she realises. Am I best to tell her about how I truly feel or does this sound selfish?

Wait till after Christmas before you decide anything , someones got to eat the leftovers in any way.

Sheep Lover

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Maybe suggest to her that you both take up jogging in the new year or join a gym. She might appreciate some help in trying to get back in shape, she might not either but worth a try.

And then padlock the fridge, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Pwindedd

Could be a multitude of reasons for her weight gain. The pill. PCOS. Comfort eating. Have you noticed any change in her mood. I would suggest you ask her if she's feeling okay first. Is she happy etc. Don't make this about her size. Make it about her wellbeing. If you do truly still love her then this will be your primary concern anyway. Your needs will be met when she is happy in herself.

(This is not a gender thing either. I would be giving her exactly the same advice if the tables were turned.)

Son Of A Vidic

nails1 wrote: »

Am I best to tell her about how I truly feel or does this sound selfish?

Yes it would be best to lose the mangina and go talk to her about it. Rather than share it with a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum. For all we know, maybe you're not the man she once knew. For all we know, you could be Jabba The Hut and maybe your girlfriend has adopted a if you can't beat them, join them attitude.

Tail Docker

Wait till she gets a nibble of wedding cake. Now that stuff is seriously fattening..

lukesmom

I usually prefer being honest but in this case I wouldn't say anything too direct about it. Unless she is blind then she will know she has gained a lot of weight in a year. Has she spoken about the weight gain and how she feels about it?? She's probably feeling bad enough about herself as it is. There has to be a good reason for the sudden weight gain. Tread carefully and if you break it off with her over weight gain then you are doing her a favour because it's a pretty shallow reason to run.

Candy_Girl

Get her a gym membership for Christmas....

Joking aside....You should post this in the personal issues forum but you might still get ripped apart for being a shallow **** :pac:

Micky Dolenz

The next time she askes "does my arse look big in this?"

You should respond with "what, the room?"

myshirt

The difference between a wife and a girlfriend, no doubt, is about 3 stone.

Highflyer13

Just say it to her Op. I felt my gf was putting on weight and said it to her and she began to work out more and eat better. She respected me for saying it. Id have no problem with her saying it to me. At the end of the day you want her to be healthier in mind and body.

Lisha

myshirt wrote: »

Fat chicks do more stuff

No we don't. We just eat more than we should.

nails1

Pwindedd wrote: »

Could be a multitude of reasons for her weight gain. The pill. PCOS. Comfort eating. Have you noticed any change in her mood. I would suggest you ask her if she's feeling okay first. Is she happy etc. Don't make this about her size. Make it about her wellbeing. If you do truly still love her then this will be your primary concern anyway. Your needs will be met when she is happy in herself.

(This is not a gender thing either. I would be giving her exactly the same advice if the tables were turned.)

Yes the weight gain is because of comfort eating and pure laziness. She also quit smoking so this hasn't helped either in terms of extra weight.

Wabbit Ears

Boost her self esteem. make here a photo book of lovely pictures from when she was thin with a big opening poetic caption like, 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what else they are? Not fat, like you'

Mongfinder General

Whatever the fcuk you do don't get her pregnant.

syklops

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Boost her self esteem. make here a photo book of lovely pictures from when she was thin with a big opening poetic caption like, 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what else they are? Not fat, like you'

And that started out so nice.

Wabbit Ears

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Whatever the fcuk you do don't get her pregnant.

That's one of the good side effects of her recent elephantiasis, it screws with their ability to get pregnant so whenever he does get the Dutch courage to harpoon that whale there's way less chance of a baby walrus.

neil_hosey

you could probably sell her here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057196616

Mongfinder General

It'd be safer going in up the muck.

Pwindedd

nails1 wrote: »

Yes the weight gain is because of comfort eating and pure laziness. She also quit smoking so this hasn't helped either in terms of extra weight.

That was me 2 years ago. I went to the doctors looking for a miracle cure for my weight gain. Doctor told me to watch my diet and join the gym. I knew all this anyway. My husband had told me. But hearing it from a professional gave me the start I needed to take action. I've lost 35 pounds now. Seriously help her if you can but it has to come from her, not you. I can't really give you any more advice. Except to be as supportive as you can. Good luck. You sound like you love her and if you want it to work it will. Why don't you suggest a sponsored walk or something active for a charity. If you do it together she will enjoy the time and may want to keep it up. Cook her a nice healthy meal. Make it special. You may have a little fun along the way.

Paco Rodriguez

Ah would ye give over about the shallowness. It's the Ops future. Why should he be a martyr for the PC brigade?

The gf is different from how they first met. Whether it's right or wrong looks is a major part in attraction.

smash

Every time she asks you what she should wear, pick out something that used to fit her... She'll get the hint!

Candy_Girl

myshirt wrote: »

The difference between a wife and a girlfriend, no doubt, is about 3 stone.

And vice versa

syklops

Pwindedd wrote: »

That was me 2 years ago. I went to the doctors looking for a miracle cure for my weight gain. Doctor told me to watch my diet and join the gym. I knew all this anyway. My husband had told me. But hearing it from a professional gave me the start I needed to take action. I've lost 35 pounds now. Seriously help her if you can but it has to come from her, not you. I can't really give you any more advice. Except to be as supportive as you can. Good luck. You sound like you love her and if you want it to work it will. Why don't you suggest a sponsored walk or something active for a charity. If you do it together she will enjoy the time and may want to keep it up. Cook her a nice healthy meal. Make it special. You may have a little fun along the way.

Wow thats great! Well done you!

RobbingBandit

Fat Chicks need lovin too OP, but they gotta pay.

Tell her to crossdress as Santa for you and she may get the hint, if not have a jolly time with old saint nick.

looking_around

if it's just the weight that's bothering you, then that's shallow.
but it's likely not just that. Normally with dramatic weight change comes dramatic lifestyle change.

Other than "being lazy" and "comfort eating", what was her lifestyle like before? What were her food choices like? did she do much walking etc? why did she quit the fags?(if it was for health, she may appreciate encouragement....encouragement now, things like "lets go for a walk"....if it was for finances though, has their been other cuts that maybe is getting her down? hence the comfort eating? )

fermanagh_man

Chances are you break up with her, she loses weight and becomes hotter than ever just to spite ye

supersean1999

Op i think its fecked. If you cant look across the couch and want to rip the clothes off your gf. Imagine how ****** you will be after you have knocked a few kids out of her.

efb

Maybe she thinks your not worth the effort???

Tail Docker

Is he still going out with the heavy burd?

myshirt

Candy_Girl wrote: »

And vice versa

Ammm... no... not true at all.

Very universally known that the bulk of women pile on the weight following marriage. Yes there might be men, but I'd be confident nothing of consequence.

Cantremember

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Why do women always start off slim?

They have a plan.

myshirt

Lisha wrote: »

No we don't. We just eat more than we should.

And ye also do more stuff, imho

Ann84

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Why do women always start off slim?

Why do most men start off with a full head of hair?