No longer attracted to my girlfriend

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

I'm not arguing against that women find men better looking in their youth than middle age, I don'tknow why you keep bring that argument up.

To lump the question 35 vs 18 with 55 versus 30 is strange, there are different answers for each age comparison, you can't lump them together.

Thats precisely the argument you're making, claiming that men have better bodies etc at 40 than at 20.

But I'm curious about how you feel about your own ageing, as a woman of 30? Do you feel you're going downhill from now on?

Shabra

strobe wrote: »

You're delusional. I'm curious as to what you're basing this assumption on? Have you conducted some kind of detailed field research I'm unaware of that flies in the face of reality? You genuinely believe most 25 year old women would find a man more attractive in middle age than youth? Honestly? Why on earth do you think that?
Do you think most 25 year old men would find a woman more attractive in middle age too btw?
This is weirdly fascinating.

When did say that I think a 25 year old would find a middle aged man more attractive than in his youth?

That question has a whole set of permutations which need to be answered individually.

Shabra

Candie wrote: »

Thats precisely the argument you're making, claiming that men have better bodies etc at 40 than at 20.

But I'm curious about how you feel about your own ageing, as a woman of 30? Do you feel you're going downhill from now on?

It's not the argument I'm claiming. I believe 25 year old are better looking than 55 year old so it'should clearly not the argument I'm making. I'very stated my argument numerous times and you keep bringing up a different argument which depends on which combination of ages you choose.

One eyed Jack

Shabra wrote: »

When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.

The majority of women of what age though?

TheBeardedLady

Shabra wrote: »

When did say that I think a 25 year old would find a middle aged man more attractive than in his youth?

That question has a whole set of permutations which need to be answered individually.

I genuinely can't figure out what you're saying.

Shabra

One eyed Jack wrote: »

The majority of women of what age though?

18 to menopause.

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

It's not the argument I'm claiming. I believe 25 year old are better looking than 55 year old so it'should clearly not the argument I'm making. I'very stated my argument numerous times and you keep bringing up a different argument which depends on which combination of ages you choose.

Nope, I keep saying the same things.

Do you think you'll look better at 40 than at 20, as a woman?

Shabra

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I genuinely can't figure out what you're saying.

I'll say it again.

I believe a man is better looking at 40 than 20 usually provided he looks after his health and his hair doesn't fall out.

Take Roy Keane as an example, not a typically good looking man. At 40 he was better looking than at 20.

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

I'll say it again.

I believe a man is better looking at 40 than 20 usually provided he looks after his health and his hair doesn't fall out.

And you extrapolate this to mean that the majority of women think a well preserved 40 year old man is better looking than the same man at 20? Seriously?

How do you feel you'll personally fare at 40 as a woman though?

Shabra

Candie wrote: »

Nope, I keep saying the same things.

Do you think you'll look better at 40 than at 20, as a woman?

I'm a transexual, and given you are struggling to understand a simple argument I have made I won'the confuse you anymore by bringing transexual it into it.

strobe

Shabra wrote: »

I'll say it again.

I believe a man is better looking at 40 than 20 usually provided he looks after his health and his hair doesn't fall out.

Take Roy Keane as an example, not a typically good looking man. At 40 he was better looking than at 20.

I think you're basing what you're saying entirely on your own subjective opinion of what you find attractive in men. I don't think your personal taste in men holds true for most women as you claim. On what basis do you make that claim? What do you have to back it up? What makes you believe that? I'm genuinely curious.

Shabra

Candie wrote: »

And you extrapolate this to mean that the majority of women think a well preserved 40 year old man is better looking than the same man at 20? Seriously?

How do you feel you'll personally fare at 40 as a woman though?

Do you think Roy Keane was better looking at 40 or 20?

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

I'm a transexual, and given you are struggling to understand a simple argument I have made I won'the confuse you anymore by bringing transexual it into it.

I understand you perfectly Shabra. You won't confuse me.

Shabra

strobe wrote: »

I think you're basing what you're saying entirely on your own subjective opinion of what you find attractive in men. I don't think your personal taste in men holds true for most women as you claim. On what basis do you make that claim? What do you have to back it up? What makes you believe that? I'm genuinely curious.

It's an opinion based on observing the world, just like yours.

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

Do you think Roy Keane was better looking at 40 or 20?

I have no idea who Roy Keane is, but since I don't go for middle aged men I doubt I'd find him attractive, and probably not at any age.

One eyed Jack

Shabra wrote: »

18 to menopause.

You're talking nonsense then really - it's alright for you to make ridiculous extrapolations based on your own tastes, but anyone who shows you your error in your methodology is "making generalisations"...

Personally, I find people on a wind-up very unattractive and immature, especially when they realise their error, but plough on regardless.

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

It's an opinion based on observing the world, just like yours.

You should practise saying 'In my opinion..' in that case, since you state your preference as though it's a universal truth.

Shabra

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You're talking nonsense then really - it's alright for you to make ridiculous extrapolations based on your own tastes, but anyone who shows you your error in your methodology is "making generalisations"...

Personally, I find people on a wind-up very unattractive and immature, especially when they realise their error, but plough on regardless.

Do you think Roy Keane was better looking at 40 or 20?

People are having trouble with this because usually men at 20 are better looking than at 40 so it biases them when considering my question of men at 40 who look after their health and still have their hair.

To clarify, the majority of women between 18 and menopause. That does not mean the majority of 18 year old.

strobe

Shabra wrote: »

It's an opinion based on observing the world, just like yours.

Yes but which world, is the question? Why have you come here to Earth and from how far?
:pac:

Ah I'm only teasing. You seem fairly set in your belief so I'll run along. Have a nice Stevens day.

Shabra

Candie wrote: »

You should practise saying 'In my opinion..' in that case, since you state your preference as though it's a universal truth.

I didn't state my preference. I could think 18 year old are the pinnacle of good looks in terms of what I find attractive. I haven't said.

Shabra

Shabra wrote: »

Do you think Roy Keane was better looking at 40 or 20?

People are having trouble with this because usually men at 20 are better looking than at 40 so it biases them when considering my question of men at 40 who look after their health and still have their hair.

A man of 40 with his own hair who looks after himself looks like a man of 40 with hair who looks after himself. That's it.

One eyed Jack

Shabra wrote: »

Do you think Roy Keane was better looking at 40 or 20?

People are having trouble with this because usually men at 20 are better looking than at 40 so it biases them when considering my question of men at 40 who look after their health and still have their hair.

To clarify, the majority of women between 18 and menopause. That does not mean the majority of 18 year old.

Clarify all you like, I understand you perfectly. It doesn't matter whether I personally find Roy Keane attractive or not regardless of his age. Roy Keane at 40 is not attractive to the same audience of women he was attractive to when he was 20. When Roy Keane was 20 he was hardly attractive to 40 year old women, and now that he's 40, he's hardly attractive to 20 year old women.

The same will happen for the likes of Harry Styles - he's attractive to 18 year old women now, but give him another 20 years and will he still be attractive to 18 year old women? Not with the best personal trainers in the world and all his money will he still be as attractive to them as he is now.

Pat D. Almighty

Candie wrote: »

You should practise saying 'In my opinion..' in that case, since you state your preference as though it's a universal truth.

....in your opinion of course

Wibbs

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I know I've always been exceptional amongst my female friends.

I'd agree TBL. That would be my experience too. It varies with age a bit. EG a 20 year old woman that would be into a 40 year old man would be very rare, even if he was good looking. He wouldn't be on her radar. She might think oh he's cute for his age, but he'd be "old" to her. 20 year old women into "older" men would see 28-30 as "older". Fast forward to say 28, then a late 30's to 40 year old would be much more on the radar to more women of that age, even so they'd be a minority.

Though a relatively attractive 35-40 year old man has more options in the dating pool than a woman his age as a general rule. I noticed that diff in my 30's with men and women mates of that age. The women(who were not exactly hard to look at) definitely had a harder time. Especially with the quality of men on offer.

UCDVet

Pat D. Almighty wrote: »

....in your opinion of course

In my opinion, you should have added 'In my opinion'.....before expressing your opinion that they should have added '....in your opinion!'.

In my opinion, everyone should clearly label their own opinions.

in my opinion, if people don't, they'll be unable to tell the difference between a fact and an opinion.

Tarzana2

strobe wrote: »

Could any women reading here let us know if they found 40 year old men more attractive than young guys roughly their own age when they were pre 30's? Just to get a rough read on the thing.

Nope, nobody over early 30s at the very most would have got a look in from me at up to late 20s.

Tarzana2

Wibbs wrote: »

Fast forward to say 28, then a late 30's to 40 year old would be much more on the radar to more women of that age, even so they'd be a minority.

I recall at 27 having a not-unattractive 42 year old man with comfortable means ask me out. It was just an instant "Nope" in my mind. In my mind too with an older guy is, well, declining health will likely come sooner than with a younger man. Might not happen with every older guy, but the odds are there. I'm sure that would be on the minds of many men with older women too.

Rough Sleeper

Candie wrote: »

I have no idea who Roy Keane is,

Do you live under a rock in the US or something? To me this is kinda like someone saying "I'm not familiar with this 'Barack Obama' " or " ' Bono?' Can't say I've heard of him."

TheBeardedLady

Wibbs wrote: »

Though a relatively attractive 35-40 year old man has more options in the dating pool than a woman his age as a general rule. I noticed that diff in my 30's with men and women mates of that age. The women(who were not exactly hard to look at) definitely had a harder time. Especially with the quality of men on offer.

Well, that I can't comment on as I'm not there yet and most of my friends are in relationships.

Tarzana2

Rough Sleeper wrote: »

Do you live under a rock in the US or something? To me this is kinda like someone saying "I'm not familiar with this 'Barack Obama' " or " ' Bono?' Can't say I've heard of him."

Maybe not Irish and not interested in football?

One eyed Jack

strobe wrote: »

Could any women reading here let us know if they found 40 year old men more attractive than young guys roughly their own age when they were pre 30's? Just to get a rough read on the thing.

I know (and have known) a few women like that alright that were pre-30's (pre-20's too) who had no interest in men their own age and were more attracted to men in their 40's and 50's, but they certainly weren't as common as Shabra would like to believe, and they sure as hell weren't attracted to them for their physical appearance either!

Some were working under the misguided impression that age correlates to intellectual maturity, and then wondered why their relationships didn't work out, and some were just attracted to older men because they liked the idea of their behaviour or their relationship being taboo so to speak, and again would wonder when their relationships didn't work out.

They're what Wibbs would call outliers though, definitely 'out there' alright

Shabra

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I know (and have known) a few women like that alright that were pre-30's (pre-20's too) who had no interest in men their own age and were more attracted to men in their 40's and 50's, but they certainly weren't as common as Shabra would like to believe, and they sure as hell weren't attracted to them for their physical appearance either!

Some were working under the misguided impression that age correlates to intellectual maturity, and then wondered why their relationships didn't work out, and some were just attracted to older men because they liked the idea of their behaviour or their relationship being taboo so to speak, and again would wonder when their relationships didn't work out.

They're what Wibbs would call outliers though, definitely 'out there' alright

I wouldn't like to believe anything. I didn'the comment on 18 year old, 19 year old, 20 year old etc women's preferences.

Your average 40 year old has not taken good care of his health so he probably looked much better at 20.

One eyed Jack

Shabra wrote: »

I wouldn't like to believe anything.

Your average 40 year old has not taken good care of his health so he probably looked much better at 20.

Nothing revolutionary there really, it's like me saying your average 40 year old who HAS taken good care of his health probably looked much better at 20!

Common sense really, nothing more.

How do your theories apply to your observations about women then?

Do you find your average 40 year old woman who has not taken care of her health probably looked much better when she was 20 too?

Shocking, isn't it?

Shabra

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Nothing revolutionary there really, it's like me saying your average 40 year old who HAS taken good care of his health probably looked much better at 20!

Common sense really, nothing more.

How do your theories apply to your observations about women then?

Do you find your average 40 year old woman who has not taken care of her health probably looked much better when she was 20 too?

Shocking, isn't it?

Never said it's revolutionary, merely clarifying my opinion, what specifically about women would you like to hear my opinion?

Bog Standard User

nails1 wrote: »

Yes the weight gain is because of comfort eating and pure laziness. She also quit smoking so this hasn't helped either in terms of extra weight.

buy her liposuction - should get good deals in the january sales

thaidad2

Bog Standard User wrote: »

buy her liposuction - should get good deals in the january sales

Or dump the hog, liposuction is expensive a new GF that will look after herself is not

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

I recall at 27 having a not-unattractive 42 year old man with comfortable means ask me out. It was just an instant "Nope" in my mind.

Hence I said that 27 year old women who would go for a 40 year old man are a minority, there's just more of them than at 20.

steddyeddy

Tarzana2 wrote: »

I recall at 27 having a not-unattractive 42 year old man with comfortable means ask me out. It was just an instant "Nope" in my mind. In my mind too with an older guy is, well, declining health will likely come sooner than with a younger man. Might not happen with every older guy, but the odds are there. I'm sure that would be on the minds of many men with older women too.

Do you understand yours is one of several billion preferences on the planet? Your preferences cannot be applied as absolutes for the entire human attraction.

Tarzana2

steddyeddy wrote: »

Do you understand yours is one of several billion preferences on the planet? Your preferences cannot be applied as absolutes for the entire human attraction.

Was there anything in my post that indicated that it was anything other than an anecdote?

Obviously it's an anecdote, in a thread full of them. Did I really need to point this out to you?

HughWotMVIII

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Found one. Here's Jose Mourinho in his younger days. He's a grand-looking man now but when he was younger....hubba!

http://luckyladder.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/youngmourinhobb8.jpg

He doesn't even look like the same man. Holy wow but he was hot!!

lightspeed

any chance you could suggest for a new years resolution that you want to get into shape but you want her to try and do the same as with you both doing it, you can provide support for each other to keep up with an exercise program.


Then suggest you both try eat more healthy and clear out the fatty high sugar foods.

If you can initiate the above, you can start in the new year and start by weighing yourselves to see what your current weight is and set goals. She might take notice herself if she can see from the scales that she put on a few pounds.