No longer attracted to my girlfriend

Candy_Girl

myshirt wrote: »

Ammm... no... not true at all.

Very universally known that the bulk of women pile on the weight following marriage. Yes there might be men, but I'd be confident nothing of consequence.

Ah I must have been in the minority so...

MistyCheese

Propose. She'll want to shed the weight for the wedding. Job done.

Just don't get too big of a wedding cake.

Mongfinder General

efb wrote: »

Maybe she thinks your not worth the effort???

Maybe the competition is fatter.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Some day when she's away for a few hours, get all the clothes she used to wear when you first met and she was slim and put them in her wardrobe, drawers etc and hide all the clothes she wears at the moment. She'll soon get the message.

corner of hells

Lisha wrote: »

No we don't. We just eat more than we should.

So , how you doin ?

Soups123

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Maybe the competition is fatter.

If she keeps piling it on he'll need help from a mingfinder not a mongfinder.....

ancapailldorcha

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Whatever the fcuk you do don't get her pregnant.

Maybe he already did?

nullzero

Might I add... No fat chicks.

JuliusCaesar

myshirt wrote: »

Ammm... no... not true at all.

Very universally known that the bulk of women pile on the weight following marriage. Yes there might be men, but I'd be confident nothing of consequence.

Hmm, most men develop a jowly look, a slight pot, a bit of a well-fed and I-no-longer-have-to-work-for-it look after marriage.


Then it all goes downhill.

kstand

You have 2 options.
1. Turn to drink and when she takes you up on it tell her you said nothing when she started eating.
2. Tell her she's going running after Christmas. Get a bike and cut a good ash plant and put her out running and if she starts slowing down or walking, use the plant.

nails1

nails1 wrote: »

Yes the weight gain is because of comfort eating and pure laziness. She also quit smoking so this hasn't helped either in terms of extra weight.

Rather than address the problem (the weight) address the causes (the diet and life activities). Be proactive. Cook better meals. Engage her in more intense life activities. The weight will sort itself out.

Ducard to Bruce Wayne when wayne was trying to warm his arms up after a dunk in ice water by rubbing them: "Rub your chest - the arms will take care of themselves"

Though that might have just been him wanting some gay cam action.

J Mysterio

Tail Docker wrote: »

The clue is in the "girlfriend" bit. As opposed to "wife" or "fiance".

LOL!

OP, your girlfriend has become complasent. She takes you for granted, usually they wait until you are married. If you loves her tell her, otherways just slip away quietly in the night.

J Mysterio

:pac:

Frigga_92

I would want to be told. Tell her. If you are happy together other than this matter, don't let it go unsaid.

riffmongous

Have you tried a bag of glue yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N86QwbPMSk

Filmer Paradise

Well OP at least you have more cushion for the pushin'.

Built for comfort, not speed.

Shure you could hang a gate out of her!

Enjoy!

mmmcake

Do yourself and her a favour, dump her.

Get yourself a new fit girlfriend , the Ex girlfriend will lose a ton of weight (as all dumped girls do) and make some other man a fine girlfriend.
Both of you will be happy.

Wibbs

Pwindedd wrote: »

Could be a multitude of reasons for her weight gain. The pill. PCOS. Comfort eating.

Then if that's the case, deal with it and health up I say.

looking_around wrote: »

if it's just the weight that's bothering you, then that's shallow.

God forbid he has a preference for a slim(more likely healthy and more aesthetically pleasing ) partner. I'd be very surprised to hear that when you have fantasies about ideal men that those ideal men are fat. How does that work then? "Real men" have curves? Eh... no.

Ann84 wrote: »

Why do most men start off with a full head of hair?

Just a bit of a diff, there W, male pattern baldness is genetic and there's feck all that can be done about it, if there was, baldy men would be doing what it took to change it, beyond wigs, dubious unctions and a shaved head. On the other hand fatness is much more a lifestyle choice. Stop eating crap and moving more and miracles of miracles you'll lose weight. Put it another way a fat man or woman can lose weight and do so with well described means, a bald bloke can't grow hair on a shiny pate no matter what he does.

Oh and lest this is construed as aimed at the ladies? Nope. Those men who blame "metabolism" and the passing years on the fact they have a beer gut? Nope lads, you're simply eating more crap and doing less. Indeed IMH men who get porky over the years have even less excuses going on. You don't have the hormonal stuff, the potential pregnancies etc. If you're packing lard, it's because you got lazy. End of.

EDIT if you're into the fuller figured woman(or man), game ball. That's not the issue. It's when there's a rapid change and you're supposed to accept that... Ging the other direction, I know a chap who had a preference for the fuller figured lady, who lost the gra for an ex when she lost shedloads of weight.

AboutaWeekAgo

I will need to see before and after pics to fully assess the situation OP. I can only give an informed answer once I see what I'm working with.

cabledude

a person. wrote: »

Too fat is no good, but you need at least a decent bit of meat on them to pound.

Overall, boney skinny women make for very poor, uncomfortable, shags..

Cushion for pushin, in other words.

EDIT : Ah darn, Filmer Paradise got there before me. Oh well.....

mmmcake

According to EU law obesity is a disability, why is the boyfriend picking on this fat bird?
Any other disability and you cannot mock, is it now open season on everyone with a disability?

Mental Mickey

bodice ripper wrote: »

I wouldn't make her the subject of an After Hours thread for a start.

+1 - bad move

cabledude

mmmcake wrote: »

Do yourself and her a favour, dump her.

Get yourself a new fit girlfriend , the Ex girlfriend will lose a ton of weight (as all dumped girls do) and make some other man a fine girlfriend.
Both of you will be happy.

Or the OP could start re-tapping the ex-fat bird again. Only 1 thing better than having 1 skinny chic...

A_Sober_Paddy

mmmcake wrote: »

According to EU law obesity is a disability, why is the boyfriend picking on this fat bird?
Any other disability and you cannot mock, is it now open season on everyone with a disability?

I hope that is a joke?

A_Sober_Paddy

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

I hope that is a joke?

Clearly it is. But the first sentence the joke is based on is not. Such a ruling has recently been made :-O

And as usual the Simpsons predicted this There is an episode of the simpsons where claiming benefits off the back of obesity becomes a "thing".

Such a thing that - and this is the funniest point of that episode that some people usually miss - a sub company in the episode develop a product to help him dial numbers on his telephone.

Oh how I stroke my beard knowingly when people miss that gag

mmmcake

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

I hope that is a joke?

No joke EU law say fat people are now the same as all other disabled people.
No wonder UKIP do so well.

Connemara Farmer

Ye aren't right for one another if something like that puts the other off. Do you see in her now what you did at the start, if not, why are you still there?

mmmcake

Lets be honest, she will only get bigger. If she is a lard ass before the wedding imagine what she will be in a few years.
Cut your loses and run.

Arbitrary

Ann84 wrote: »

Why do most men start off with a full head of hair?

They get married.

OP

Forget all the suggestions of dropping passive aggressive hints, that's just childish and you're just going to hurt her feelings, what do you think her reaction will be to getting upset?

Talk to her ffs, let your feelings be known, but before you do that you should find out what's going on with her. I'm pretty sure you're not the only one that's noticed it in fairness.

If you really care about this person your issue shouldn't simply be a question of whether or not you're still attracted to them. First and foremost it should be concern for their well being. Sudden weight gain isn't a very clear-cut issue unfortunately.

mickoc

maybe her new new year resolution is to get fit..it takes a while though

_Whimsical_

Most rapid weight gain is down to comfort eating because of emotional problems or occasional a hormonal imbalance as has been pointed out.
OP chances are this girl is well aware that she's gained weight and that like the majority of women she's not one bit happy about it. I think if you sit her down and heap your disgust on top of her too there's a small enough chance it might motivate her to lose weight or more likely you'll just add to the cause of the weight gain and she'll find herself comforting eating even more.

I kind of think that this is your issue and not really hers. If you're not willing or able to stick with her through periods of her being thin or a bit heavy, if what she brings to your life is diminished radically because of a change in her appearance then I think she's not the one for you perhaps. If she's not walk away and don't heap your issue with the weight on her shoulders as the reason for the split.
If you love her and want to stick with her I say prepare to find she'll wax and wane at various times in her life as a lot of Irish women do. Encourage her into healthy eating and exercise by example if you have to, but don't shame her into it. If you do tell her you're just not into her if shes a certain size she might lose the weight but she might also decide to lose you too when she's feeling a bit better about herself and realises she brings a whole more to the relationship table than her appearance and that if you don't appreciate that you're not worth it.

Specialun

I personally have never "been" with a big girl but by all accounts if they dont get it too often when they do they aperciate it more

_Whimsical_

Specialun wrote: »

I personally have never "been" with a big girl but by all accounts if they dont get it too often when they do they aperciate it more

Some gross opinions in this thread...
It is AH I suppose.

shadowcomplex

Ride the arse off her 7 nights a week instead of 2

lukesmom

shadowcomplex wrote: »

Ride the arse off her 7 nights a week instead of 2

You charmer

whatdoicare

Like others have said, Id talk to your girlfriend.

Is it just plain boredom? This happened to me, when I met my OH I was the type of girl who went out alot and travelled alot. It wasn't hard to be slim, I didn't even have to think about it.

After a few years the OH got lazier and talked me out of going out as much and we didn't travel as often, finances got tighter, I didn't get to treat myself as often or at all, friends were in the same situation and we stayed in more and more...
the weight piled on me! I went to the gym alot but then Id go home and eat a huge dinner and dessert with the OH. I might spend the day picking at food and then trying not to eat and failing as I had nothing to do, no distractions and I hated my job so I ate sugary things to make myself feel better there too. Its a vicious circle from then on, bored, eat, feel awful about it, try not to eat, skip meals, binge eat, feel awful, eat more, feel even worse, give up and eat. Then I stopped going anywhere at all other than work, I was too embarrassed to keep going to the gym, my OH was constantly telling me how I need to cut down eating and exercise more but it made me feel even worse than I already felt so I hid my eating!

It took a long time and alot of different failed diets but eventually what the turning point for me was having a baby believe it or not (I'm not saying get yr girl preggers, this isn't my point ) I made loads of new friends in baby groups and started going out with them more and more,out for shopping, out for a night here and there, day to the zoo etc etc My confidence was built up more and more. I realised I was just lonely and bored. I joined slimming world and made even more new friends and I've lost most of the weight now and am much happier!

long story short, I reckon your girlfriend might be in the same boat, so it would be no harm for you to stand by her and not get on her case. She is well aware shes fat, believe me! What I suggest you do is take her out more, out for the day, out for the night, encourage her to take up a new hobby, make new friends. The slimming part will sort itself out once you have her happy again.

I hope you and yr girlfriend work things out

Saipanne

Has she talked about her recent weight gain?

If so, its your job to encourage her to eat better. If you live together, you should both commit to only buying healthy groceries, no crisps/sweets. If you live separately, talk about eating less carbs and more veg/meat. Tell her about the various phone apps that track your calories. Be encouraging, but not judging.

Lon.C

Look on the bright side. It's a piece of cake to get her into bed.

creolebelle

shadowcomplex wrote: »

Ride the arse off her 7 nights a week instead of 2

Crude language but it would work. That kind of activity burns a lot of calories and releases endorphins so your gf will cutdown on her comfort eating

phill106

Ann84 wrote: »

Why do most men start off with a full head of hair?

Cause you make it fall out!

UCDVet

creolebelle wrote: »

Crude language but it would work. That kind of activity burns a lot of calories and releases endorphins so your gf will cutdown on her comfort eating

I dunno - according to most things I've read a normal sex session is about the equivalent of a bite of food. To lose weight, I think you'd need to be having sex many times per day.

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/09/17/health/sex-calorie-burn-upwave/

The verdict: Sex burns a few calories, but frequent friskiness isn't going to replace the gym.
...
30 minutes of sex can burn in the neighborhood of 85 to 100 calories

A 30 minute jog might be 3x that amount.

UCDVet

Specialun wrote: »

I personally have never "been" with a big girl but by all accounts if they dont get it too often when they do they aperciate it more

I don't think that stereotype is meant to apply to big girls *in a relationship*....but maybe I'm wrong.

blueser

Lon.C wrote: »

Look on the bright side. It's a piece of cake to get her into bed.

Cruel, but very good.

Colser

If you are sure shes madly in love with you then cheat and make sure she finds out about it ...Im nearly 2 stone lighter than I was a few months ago:(

Saipanne

I've found that with some exes, they let themselves go once we settled down, and trimmed themselves up, after we broke up. Fairly annoying, in retrospect. Willing to make more effort for randomers.

Outkast_IRE

If you want to stay with her then set up a joint health kick in the new year.

I highly reccomend buying a scales that can track your weight such as Salter mi-body or similar. I am sure she is well aware she has gained weight. If she sees the results of a good diet and exercise for a few weeks it may kick her on to keep up healthy habits.

that would be my suggestion. Treat it as a joint healthkick for the new year and ensure you both commit and track the results accurately week to week. I usually find when people cam track their progress its great motivation

bjork

Outkast_IRE wrote: »

If you want to stay with her then set up a joint health kick in the new year.

I highly reccomend buying a scales that can track your weight such as Salter mi-body or similar. I am sure she is well aware she has gained weight. If she sees the results of a good diet and exercise for a few weeks it may kick her on to keep up healthy habits.

that would be my suggestion. Treat it as a joint healthkick for the new year and ensure you both commit and track the results accurately week to week. I usually find when people cam track their progress its great motivation

I'd love to see the look on her face when she unwraps that Christmas present! If the OP survives he should post the video here and maybe do a review of the products durability. :pac:

ThinkAboutIt

If she does anal, the fattie is worth keeping. If she doesn't, then get rid and find yourself a hotter bird.

Colser

ThinkAboutIt wrote: »

If she does anal, the fattie is worth keeping. If she doesn't, then get rid and find yourself a hotter bird.

:eek:Where can I find an nice guy like you? Thought romance was dead until I read that...:D