Are holidays written into access arrangement

emmisaro

I would like to know are holidays written into an access arrangement for a father.

My daughters father has refused an agreement because I will not allow him to take my 14 month old daughter away for a week and it be written into the arrangement. Is this even done?

I thought this was only done for school age children
I have said she is far too young to be away from me for that long and we can revisit it when she is older but I did agree to two nights which he refused

LegacyUser

emmisaro wrote: »

I would like to know are holidays written into an access arrangement for a father.

My daughters father has refused an agreement because I will not allow him to take my 14 month old daughter away for a week and it be written into the arrangement. Is this even done?

I thought this was only done for school age children
I have said she is far too young to be away from me for that long and we can revisit it when she is older but I did agree to two nights which he refused

She needs to bond with her father, I would allow it.

Novella

My husband and the mother of his child have a custody order which includes holidays.

How much time does your daughter spend with her dad now? That would probably influence what a court would enforce. I can't imagine a week away from the primary caregiver would be granted for a 14 month old, if you are the primary caregiver.


Given her age, two overnights seems reasonable to me, if she knows her dad well and is used to spending nights with him.

I don't think holidays are automatically included in a court order. My husband and the mother discussed it at mediation and it was agreed upon. It is written in the papers.

I'm not an expert though. The only experience I have had is with my husband and his custody case.

braddun

is the father from another country,some times they kidnap the child

emmisaro

She is with him one overnight per week which totals 24 hours. He is not foreign. To be honest I think he will never be happy with anything

seventeen sheep

emmisaro wrote: »

She is with him one overnight per week which totals 24 hours. He is not foreign. To be honest I think he will never be happy with anything

Well to be honest, if I only had my child 1/7th of the week, I wouldn't be happy either!

I'd probably work on allowing more equal custody on a regular basis, rather than focussing so much on holidays?

If you have the child six of seven nights most of the time, and assuming you have no concerns of the care of the child while in the custody of her father, I don't see why you won't let him have her for a week ... I mean, most weeks you have her for six of seven nights ...

I know you'd miss her for the week, but I'm sure he also misses her the six nights of every week he's not with her.

My reply is based purely on the information you've provided so far. I can't see how he's being in any way unreasonable.

Big Bag of Chips

Why do you think she shouldn't be away from you for a week? Do you think he wouldn't be able to take care of her? It is very possible that he could get a weeks holiday time with her.. Maybe even twice a year.

You're better off trying to come to an agreement that you are both happy with, because if he goes to court a judge will take it out of your hands. And a judge mightn't see the validity of your argument of her being too young to be away from you.

Just out of interest, how old do you think she should be? And if she was say 3 and it was her first time being away from you for a week do you think that might be more upsetting for her?

emmisaro

He had her for a six hour visit too but he wouldn't in his words 'waste' the petrol driving the 10 miles to his house to spend the time with her so instead he was bringing her to his friends house where they smoke joints and talk antisemitic crap so I put a stop to it as I don't want her exposed to that.

I think a child of three would be better able to understand why her primary caregiver is suddenly not around for a week

Big Bag of Chips

A child of 3 might understand better, and as a result be much more upset by the separation.

Anyway the answer to your question is yes, it is possible to be written into an access agreement. And a judge will decide. So, where possible, you are better off trying to come up with an arrangement that both are happy with.

emmisaro

So why do it at all then. Surely the child should come first and not a disgruntled father

Big Bag of Chips

Because the child has the right to build a comfortable relationship with both parents. The earlier that starts the less disruption to the child. The child's interests should always come first, ahead of a disgruntled father or over protective mother.

Honestly, a 14 month old won't really be too upset by their mother being absent, so long as the father is adequately able to care for them. A 3 year old/5 year old/8 year old might be very upset by being separated from their mother if it's the first time it's happened.

Separated parents obviously isn't ideal. But the sooner everyone gets used to the fact that the baby has two separate parents the better, and easier, for everyone.

inocybe

holidays were written into my court order. Never once did my ex take them though, but we had to be here and available