who do you talk to?

lufties

About real stuff, emotions etc, how your feeling..Over the last while I've started opening up with people and its liberating. In Ireland, we tend to bottle things up and talk about surface stuff like the weather and factual things.

Out of 3 siblings, I have one brother I really confide in..Otherwise its friends, I always used to think that sharing your core stuff with people was only be a burden on them.

Shenshen

Friends, and my husband.

I would feel weird talking to my family about feelings, to be honest.

Omackeral

I talk to Joe. Good afternoon t youuuuuuuuu.

karmazyn

Strangers in a pub I don't usually go to work well

The Backwards Man

The dog.

HamsterFace

I talk to my girlfriend. I love her with all my heart and miss her desperately now that we are separate over the Christmas.

PizzamanIRL

Nobody. I'm very good at keeping my thoughts and feelings hidden.

lufties

Omackeral wrote: »

I talk to Joe. Good afternoon t youuuuuuuuu.

1850....the lavline is open :pac:

The Moldy Gowl

Boards. Ask posters in a forum for advice, then do the opposite.

PizzamanIRL

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Boards. Ask posters in a forum for advice, then do the opposite.

Or argue why you think their advice is wrong, followed by 20 posters giving out to you for asking for advice and then ignoring every bit of advice given.

lufties

HamsterFace wrote: »

I talk to my girlfriend. I love her with all my heart and miss her desperately now that we are separate over the Christmas.

Yeah, I miss my gf too, haven't been in touch with her in over 3 months...hold on, wait a minute :P

lufties

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Boards. Ask posters in a forum for advice, then do the opposite.

I tend to do that too, thought I was the only one :cool:

Ihatecuddles

My husband, he's great at pretending to listen

chrysagon

The more i know bout people, the more i love my DOG !

kowloon

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Boards. Ask posters in a forum for advice, then do the opposite.

Does this count as advice? If it does we might have a problem.

NotCominBack

Therapist @90 pops per hour - Tony Soprano like...

Littlekittylou

lufties wrote: »

About real stuff, emotions etc, how your feeling..Over the last while I've started opening up with people and its liberating. In Ireland, we tend to bottle things up and talk about surface stuff like the weather and factual things.

Out of 3 siblings, I have one brother I really confide in..Otherwise its friends, I always used to think that sharing your core stuff with people was only be a burden on them.

My brother and my mother. It works both ways. I would say they share a lot with me.

A few friends too in a small way. But it sort of changes up. I think the way you make it not a burden is make sure you don't overload one person and that you give back.

It's good too learn to keep your own counsel too.

I probably share a lot less than most people.

Whether or not I share with guys I am with depends on the relationship and the level of trust that they will keep it private. I have seen people blast **** all over the internet on friends etc. I think that is so horrible to do. If you know private stuff keep it private.

Trust is the deciding factor on who you share what with and compassion.

The Moldy Gowl

lufties wrote: »

I tend to do that too, thought I was the only one :cool:

I'm in a private forum as well so I tell them all my gowl problems. I think they just love the gossip

One eyed Jack

GP for the physical stuff
Priest for the spiritual stuff

A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B, for the mental stuff.

Littlekittylou

lufties wrote: »

I tend to do that too, thought I was the only one :cool:

Not on boards.ie but on a diff forum ( he was on boards at the time) i did ask about relationship situation and was given advice.........i did do it.........but like three months laters!

Ah well better late than never!

Jawgap

Since when did bottling things up become so unfashionable??

This trend for sharing feelings is very American - I'm not sure I want to become American!!

Mister Vain

Wibbs. He usually knows what to say.

paulosam

Talked to a psychologist at least once a week for 6 months earlier this year after a friend committed suicide. Was very, very sceptical initially, but it has improved my life massively since.

Was great talking to someone impartial, but was also really helpful learning coping skills for day to day life and anxieties and stuff.

TheBeardedLady

My fella mostly. I borrow his ear for a while now and then and he makes convincing sounds of attentiveness while I empty myself of my worries for a few minutes, otherwise I try and sort stuff out for myself. My sister and my stepmam and best friend are great listeners as well but I don't see any of them enough.

Links234

Girlfriend, I've opened up to her about things that I've told nobody.

NotCominBack

Links234 wrote: »

Girlfriend, I've opened up to her about things that I've told nobody.

And she still with you?

SimonTemplar

The rubber duck. Great for debugging code!

Highflyer13

My girlfriend. I tell her lots of stuff and she tells me her stuff. Going through a stressful period now with work and college and I'm feeling her absence as she is 1000s of miles away for the next month. Chatting on skype just isn't the same.

Links234

NotCominBack wrote: »

And she still with you?

yeah, what's that supposed to mean?

HamsterFace

Links234 wrote: »

Girlfriend, I've opened up to her about things that I've told nobody.

Like what?

Yearning4Stormy

lufties wrote: »

...I always used to think that sharing your core stuff with people was only be a burden on them.

Oh, I am *so* trying to get past this feeling, lufties.

I've one pal I've known for thirty years and another for twenty - my closest pals - and they get the brunt of it... and it's rarely pleasant. It *does* feel good at the time to just get it off my chest, but ultimately, I'll be feeling like crap for unloading on them... *again*.

I've been hmming and hawing about utilising the EAP in work again to see a free-ish counselor since they're trained to be unloaded on and to actively help... but I had such an awful experience with the last person they recommended.

Rock and a hard place. Vicious circle. Pick your own simile.

Lufties, happy you're getting to communicate with *someone*. Y'all have a great New Year.

<Aw, crap, I've just spotted this is AH. Sigh.>

I've loads of brilliant friends who I could talk to about anything but don't, I've one friend who I spill to. She must think I'm an awful whinge. Bottled everything up til I met her. Still don't like to talk about everything but she gets a lot more out of me than anyone else ever could and she knows by the tone of a single text if there's something up.

Love that aul bitch.

BBDBB

no one

I bottle it all up and clean my high powered sniper rifle to stay calm

Sound of Silence

Post anonymously on 4chan feels threads, of course.

cloud493

Myself.

YellowFeather

I've good friends that I can talk to about anything, so we'd always go through our day to day woes (ranging from I can't find my pencil, to family issues 'n' stuff.)

But anything too big that I know there isn't an answer to, I don't really ever speak about. If it skirts too close to the edge, I deploy humour and move quickly along.

I know they'd happily talk about these things, but, if there's no way of resolving this stuff, I also feel like I'm burdening them.

Probably not the most recommended approach...

Jamiekelly

Frank

tomwaterford

lufties wrote: »

About real stuff, emotions etc, how your feeling..Over the last while I've started opening up with people and its liberating. In Ireland, we tend to bottle things up and talk about surface stuff like the weather and factual things.

Out of 3 siblings, I have one brother I really confide in..Otherwise its friends, I always used to think that sharing your core stuff with people was only be a burden on them.

no one.....I know its most likely terribly unhealthy....but **** it sure what can you do

like anything anyway personal/emotional/private etc...I tend to keep to myself...though I do get an inordinate amount of people who tell me everything as im good at keeping secrets

though I do tend talk/give out to myself out loud at times usually when no one is around....but im not as mental as that sounds!!!

r93kaey5p2izun

Up until very recently, nobody. I have very recently discussed my mental health issues with my mother though. She cares but she doesn't really understand but there's no one else I could talk to.

c_man

No one really. What can you do?!

pragmatic1

Jawgap wrote: »

Since when did bottling things up become so unfashionable??

This trend for sharing feelings is very American - I'm not sure I want to become American!!

Yeah I've noticed us becoming increasingly Americanised over the past few years. I don't like it at all.

c_man

Jawgap wrote: »

Since when did bottling things up become so unfashionable??

This trend for sharing feelings is very American - I'm not sure I want to become American!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvjYuIBy-oQ

pragmatic1

My brother, mother and best friend. But I prefer to keep things private and work them out on my own where possible.

I'm not entirely sure that sharing your problems is the best course of action. Ultimately it's going to be yourself that "saves" you from whatever predicament you're in.

Shabra

The lollipop lady.

UpCork

Interesting topic.

I've had my trust betrayed by one or two friends in the past and also I found that some people like to play on your weaknesses

I am very controlled when it comes to emotions - or I try to be - I don't necessarily think his is a good thing.

I talk to my Mother about stuff but about family stuff I have a friend who I talk to.

Recently, I've started in a new job and it's funny - there are only two of us in the office so we chat away. In getting to know my colleague, I've told her some things I didn't tell others - it's funny, sometimes it's easier to talk to those you don't know that well than those you do.

padd b1975

HamsterFace wrote: »

Like what?

Some things are probably best left unsaid..

cloud493

I hate the thought of being a burden or a bother to anyone. It makes me very very anxious. So I generally don't say anything to anyone, very cordial to most people so to speak, but never really saying anything.

WoollyRedHat

Jamiekelly wrote: »

Frank

The bunny?

stop animal cruelty

My councellor, shes so good to me. After every session she tells me l can ring her anytime. l never ring her tho cause shes her own life, so ld ring the samaratains.

l really wish l could say l can confine to my mother, brother, cousin or best friend...but l cant trust any of them, yet theres people out there that know they can trust me, ask for advice, be 100% honest with them....but l dont get it in return. lts pretty sickening thinking about it, why do l bother wasting my time with these people...

Venus In Furs

Yeh, opening up about what's making you feel really down and lonely is too "American". Good message all right - especially when people are suicidal.

We should go back to the days of saying nothing and self medicating with alcohol, benzos and letting the misery become malignant inside until it manifests itself in healthier ways such as rage in the form of verbal/physical assaults.

I get people not wanting to be complaining all the time/feeling like a burden. You gotta sort out your problems by yourself to a point, too, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help when it becomes too difficult to go it alone.

Wellyd

I really wish I had someone to talk to. I've grown apart from almost all of my friends. I would never want to burden my family with any of my problems. My boyfriend has a busy life and I'd normally only talk to him if I was at breaking point. In fairness it's nobody's fault but my own. I'm afraid to trust people in case they betray my confidence. I've suffered with some really bad bouts of depression and there have been days where I've been dying to tell someone but I don't want to have them laugh and not understand.