The Jizzler Awards Ceremony 2014

Peanut Butter Jelly

Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished guests, your Holiness, fellow beardies,

Fáilte chuig an séú Gramadaí Jizzlers.

I've decided to open the awards thread early so that we can all get pissed earlier into our seats without disrupting the show. As you can see, I've trimmed my beard and thrown on my best suit.



You may wonder "Why is it called the jizzlers?" Well it is named in honour of one of C&H's bravest warriors. No, he didn't fight in the war. No, he didn't fight off lions while blindfolded infront of Caesar, but he did something even braver. He will go down in history as the man that called upon all the hot mothers (or "MILFS") asking for coitus. Unfortunately, like so many before him, he failed in his quest and for that brave act, we say Rest In Prison.

Tonight we will honour all those who have served C&H in the past year and have done so in a special way. There will be awards given out in the form of creative signatures (Thanks CTYIgirl) as well as 3 Durex extra safe condoms for all the wimmens that will want to have sex with you (and all the men that will want to take the girls home, so on so forth...). There will also be 2 brand new secret awards given out tonight.

This year we learned that wnolan has nothing better to do than waste time on this forum as he racked up his 10,000th post. All the emo kids are stuck in 2006, and most importantly of all, we learned how to kiss someone.

So pull up a seat, enjoy your drinks of choice (mine is a 12 year old special reserve of Jameson whiskey), enjoy the show and most importantly of all, wrap your diddle before you fiddle her middle.

The awards shall begin at about 9:30 (or possibly 10. Who knows.)

HugsiePie

I may have hit the drink a little hard...

Peanut Butter Jelly

I am just after getting word that there is another award up for grabs (kinda. Ok not really there was only one person in the running). It's getting closer!

iamanengine

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

I am just after getting word that there is another award up for grabs (kinda. Ok not really there was only one person in the running). It's getting closer!

An air of mystery about this award ceremony isn't there...Illuminati!!!

LoonyLovegood

The signatures are done (thanks to the uber awesome Hugsie), and we have several new awards. Also, I'm looking forward to the reaction to some of these

pajor

iamanengine wrote: »

An air of mystery about this award ceremony isn't there...Illuminati!!!

Ohhh that'd be dangerous talk now. *They* are watching. :pac:

Can't deny my curiosity though..

iamanengine

Our special guest Kim Jong won't be able to make it tonight, he's having trouble with his wifi connection.

Peanut Butter Jelly

The ceremony will begin at 10 pm. Will all the guests please take their seats.

pajor

I waived my right to be host on purpose you know. :pac:

HugsiePie

pajor wrote: »

I waived my right to be host on purpose you know. :pac:

Bitch please, you call HER a newscaster

Macavity.

I have arrived. You can commence the ceremony now.

pajor

HugsiePie wrote: »

Bitch please, you call HER a newscaster

I call that slander.

Your lawyer shall hear from my lawyer.

Peanut Butter Jelly

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the first award of the night.

The Niceguy Award

This is awarded to the person that licks all the moderators up the right way throughout the year. And without further adieu, the winner is...

Deise_girl

Here is your signature.

HugsiePie

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the first award of the night.

The Niceguy Award

This is awarded to the person that licks all the moderators up the right way throughout the year. And without further adieu, the winner is...

Deise_girl

Here is your signature.

LoonyLovegood

We'll give the awarded people five minutes to make a speech, otherwise, NEXT AWARD.

What's everyone drinking?

Macavity.

Glad to see no expense was spared with the signatures. :pac:

JD and Coke.

HugsiePie

Macavity. wrote: »

Glad to see no expense was spared with the signatures. :pac:

JD and Coke.

Only the best for C&H

Peanut Butter Jelly

The next award is for The Best Taste In Music

Basically this award is for the person that displays their affection for Arcade Fire the most over the year :pac:

And the winner is...

It's a draw! The winners are Iamanengine and Cherry Blossom Girl

You're signature to use to display you love of Arcade Fire

LoonyLovegood

I was working twelve hours today, so no, not a lot of imagination. Once again wnolan is awesome.

HugsiePie

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

The next award is for The Best Taste In Music

Basically this award is for the person that displays their affection for Arcade Fire the most over the year :pac:

And the winner is...

It's a draw! The winners are Iamanengine and Cherry Blossom Girl

You're signature to use to display you love of Arcade Fire

On that note a music interval is needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg

iamanengine

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

The next award is for The Best Taste In Music

Basically this award is for the person that displays their affection for Arcade Fire the most over the year :pac:

And the winner is...

It's a draw! The winners are Iamanengine and Cherry Blossom Girl

You're signature to use to display you love of Arcade Fire

Fashionably late AND an award My first Jizzler having only been around the past 2 years or so, I am grateful.

Thanks very much guys, I post a tonne in STYA and I just assumed people ignored it all! This truly is a most prestigious honour and even more so to joint win with Cherry, the girl knows her music

Peace and love homies

Peanut Butter Jelly

I'm drinking 12 year old special reserve of Jameson whiskey

iamanengine

MRW I (joint) win my first jizzler.

Peanut Butter Jelly

The next award is for the Most Inspirational Poster

This award goes to the person that gives you the power to get up on those cold, dark Monday mornings. To go into work even though your boss is a cnut, so on, so forth.

And the winner is...

Pigwidgeon!

Your signature to commemorate this great occasion.

Peanut Butter Jelly

Goddammit people where are our acceptance speeches?!?!

LoonyLovegood

NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE AWARDS

pajor

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

And the winner is...

Pigwidgeon!

Peanut Butter Jelly

The next award is for the best newcomer to C&H, the baby of the family, so to speak. Now unfortunately I think the votes were rigged because both of our winners are part of the forum for over a year but regardless, your winners are deise_girl and pajor!

(I'll take the money from ye after the show )

Your sig should ye like to use it...

suitcasepink

Thanks guys, glad to see my 4 years previous to this meant nothing to any of yee xxx

Delighted with the award

pajor

I can't really remember when I started posting here, but I really don't remember the Jizzlers from last year.

But anyhoo.. thanks to all.

And of course a congrats to deise too.

Jaysus.. manners are hard work.

Peanut Butter Jelly

Next up is the award for the Most Creative Poster

This award goes to the poor unfortunate soul that has to find some use for their arts degree out of AIT by posting in the most creative style on this forum.

Your winner is...

Macavity!

Your signature to celebrate (and yes that is a paintbrush)

Macavity.

Thanks everyone!! I don't do Arts and I can't recall ever making a creative post but thanks anyway.

Peanut Butter Jelly

We will have a short interval while I sort out my Internet connection.

Peanut Butter Jelly

In the mean time feel free to make suggestions for new awards for next year. There is a special award up for grabs for the best suggestion.

Insect Overlord

Best Award Suggestion Award for Suggesting Awards And Other Stuff Too.

iamanengine

Most likely to suggest an orgy :pac:

LoonyLovegood

So guys, because our beloved host is missing, I'm calling a pause to the proceedings (boo, hiss, bad CTYIgirl, bad)

THE JIZZLERS WILL CONTINUE TOMORROW, SAME BAT TIME, SAME BAT FORUM (In or around 9pm, give or take, in C&H)

pajor

iamanengine

I blame the Illuminati.

HugsiePie

I blame his greatness Kim Jong Un

No point on carrying on without his most gracious presence.

Peanut Butter Jelly

Yeah my internet has gone to ****. I am posting this from my phone on good aul data so as much as I love ye, you're not worth my credit
If I can't get it fixed by tomorrow night, the lovely CTYIgirl will host the awards.

Peanut Butter Jelly

HugsiePie wrote: »

I smell conspiracy....

If only it was me that posted the first one...

Jhcx

You know i need a text alert for this missed out the first half. fax probably would have been quicker. or email. did you know you can send an email to my printer and it comes out faster than fax. anyway. i shall try tomoro but i dont know where i will be

Peanut Butter Jelly

An File wrote: »

Best Award Suggestion Award for Suggesting Awards And Other Stuff Too.

We have a trophy for that already. The trophy is quite brilliant! :pac:

wnolan1992

FFS lads, ye can't organise a nun-shoot in a nunnery without me it seems. :rolleyes:

LoonyLovegood

JIZZLERS IN ONE HOUR. Is everyone ready? Hair and makeup ready? The papparazzi is outside waiting for us all to arrive

Cherry Blossom Girl

MAJORLY (or so I thought, but it appears maybe not so) late to the party, I've had no Internet access last night or today until now! I was quite pleased to even be nominated in the first place as like iamanengine I just assumed most people glossed over my posts in STYA. It's probably my favourite thread in this forum though so it's nice being recognised for that. First time being nominated and first time winning is a pretty nice combo! I don't even mind sharing it, which is a big deal for an only child like me .

Thanks homies, you give me all the encouragement I need to keep hanging 'round these parts long after I've reached an inappropriate age to still be here. (Whoever voted for me, your cheque is in the post)

Iamanengine - tandem Elliott Smith album listening party?

LoonyLovegood

I hope you're all ready for the event. I promise, I'm not drunk *hic*

iamanengine

Cherry Blossom Girl wrote: »

MAJORLY (or so I thought, but it appears maybe not so) late to the party, I've had no Internet access last night or today until now! I was quite pleased to even be nominated in the first place as like iamanengine I just assumed most people glossed over my posts in STYA. It's probably my favourite thread in this forum though so it's nice being recognised for that. First time being nominated and first time winning is a pretty nice combo! I don't even mind sharing it, which is a big deal for an only child like me .

Thanks homies, you give me all the encouragement I need to keep hanging 'round these parts long after I've reached an inappropriate age to still be here. (Whoever voted for me, your cheque is in the post)

Iamanengine - tandem Elliott Smith album listening party?

Also an only child, go us :cool:

Absolutely! I'm feeling Either/or...possibly Figure 8...and obviously we would have to listen to XO while we're at it

HugsiePie

iamanengine wrote: »

Also an only child, go us :cool:

Absolutely! I'm feeling Either/or...possibly Figure 8...and obviously we would have to listen to XO while we're at it

New nominees for should be a couple!!! :pac:

LoonyLovegood

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to round two of THE JIZZLERS 2014. I'll begin with our well known award, the Pygmalion Memorial Award for Services to Clearasil and Hormones. This award is for someone who has helped this forum grow up, and has allowed the forum to flourish. Without further adieu, this goes to the person who was one of the first mods of this forum, AN FILE!