I'm afraid I'll hurt her.

PizzamanIRL

deco nate wrote: »

Foreplay op, Foreplay...

Yeah fair play OP you have quite an imagination.

deco nate

So answer the question, how big is your dick?

Hooked

EoghanIRL wrote: »

Inb4 thread locked

inb4 the OP...

lulu1

I think you are making the whole up

DVDM93

christy02 wrote: »

Have you previously broke up other women with your massive schlong? Rips n tears or just stretching?

To be honest no, I've had sexual partners throw pet names at it casually like "The Wheelchair Prescriber" and "Mount Loa" but I assumed this was the norm. Fore play or sex speech or whatever you may call it.

suicide_circus

DVDM93 wrote: »

To be honest no, I've had sexual partners throw pet names at it casually like "The Wheelchair Prescriber" and "Mount Loa" but I assumed this was the norm. Fore play or sex speech or whatever you may call it.

I gave a sex speech once, there wasn't a dry seat in the house

Shrap

DVDM93 wrote: »

To be honest no, I've had sexual partners throw pet names at it casually like "The Wheelchair Prescriber" and "Mount Loa" but I assumed this was the norm. Fore play or sex speech or whatever you may call it.

What makes you think this girl will be put off by your god-like proportions OP?

PizzamanIRL

lulu1 wrote: »

I think you are making the whole up

He never mentioned her hole. It could be incapable of managing it though.

Cantremember

Is this what was meant by GRITH?

Smidge

DVDM93 wrote: »

Thank you. It would seems so anyway. A mix of genuine answers (thank you) along with some good humorous ones (expected and I have laughed to be fair)

However there's an element of jealousy with one or two posts which puzzles me. The plethora of manhood I have between my legs genuinely gets me down, no not weighs me down before the smart arses get in. It bothers me, I really like this girl and want things to be perfect.

Serious note op.........

This is typical Irish begrudgery for you.
Jealousy is all that it it, nothing more. And I can completely understand it getting you down being so gifted in the manhood department and being mocked for it.
I suggest you call anyone out on it OP and for good measure give them a clatter of your massive shclong around the chops. They wont be so quick to mock again OP.

deco nate

DVDM93 wrote: »

To be honest no, I've had sexual partners throw pet names at it casually like "The Wheelchair Prescriber" and "Mount Loa" but I assumed this was the norm. Fore play or sex speech or whatever you may call it.

Maybe they were saying that to make you feel better? But most likely they were just taking the piss, kinda like you're first post.

DVDM93

Shrap wrote: »

What makes you think this girl will be put off by your god-like proportions OP?

As mentioned in the OP, she's rhe shy quiet type. Hasn't had a lot of sexual partners. As mentioned by another poster, some women don't exactly fall to their knees for a sizeable chicken fillet roll when half a sandwich will do.

Sex is a huge part of any relationship, the huge part of my body is effecting this.

Maybe I'm being paranoid?

Quazzie

DVDM93 wrote: »

As mentioned in the OP, she's rhe shy quiet type. Hasn't had a lot of sexual partners. As mentioned by another poster, some women don't exactly fall to their knees for a sizeable chicken fillet roll when half a sandwich will do.

Sex is a huge part of any relationship, the huge part of my body is effecting this.

Maybe I'm being paranoid?

What size are you at full tilt?

Birneybau

EoghanIRL wrote: »

Inb4 thread locked

Well done you. Didn't think people still said this but fair play man. Woo!

harrymagina

Have you split a women's fanny open before and she bled all over you and needed Vaginal reconstruction in surgery before? My guess is that your just a virgin and afraid to have sex and just trolling before school starts up again.

Meangadh

DVDM93 wrote: »

To be honest no, I've had sexual partners throw pet names at it casually like "The Wheelchair Prescriber" and "Mount Loa" but I assumed this was the norm. Fore play or sex speech or whatever you may call it.

Or maybe it's like how overweight lads are called "Skinny" and tall lads are called "Tiny" etc??

DVDM93

Here's a picture as a few have requested with a massive bit of NSFW thrown in with it for good measure.

Shrap

DVDM93 wrote: »

As mentioned in the OP, she's rhe shy quiet type. Hasn't had a lot of sexual partners. As mentioned by another poster, some women don't exactly fall to their knees for a sizeable chicken fillet roll when half a sandwich will do.

Sex is a huge part of any relationship, the huge part of my body is effecting this.

Maybe I'm being paranoid?

Gotta tell you, some women prefer to stay on their feet while a bloke falls to his knees, but how and ever....

I think you should have another read of my bus analogy. It has all the advice you need.

Quazzie

DVDM93 wrote: »

Here's a picture as a few have requested with a massive bit of NSFW thrown in with it for good measure.

The troll is strong in this one!!!

stampydmonkey

DVDM93 wrote: »

Here's a picture as a few have requested with a massive bit of NSFW thrown in with it for good measure.

****in thumptack. ..stick a pin in it

DVDM93

Meangadh wrote: »

Or maybe it's like how overweight lads are called "Skinny" and tall lads are called "Tiny" etc??

Sarcasm is the word you're looking for. No need for the well thought up examples. Thanks all the same though, it really helps with my problem.

Littlekittylou

Don't use all of it.

PizzamanIRL

Plenty of future expert detectives in this thread.

DVDM93

Quazzie wrote: »

The troll is strong in this one!!!

So I can't have a bit of fun with ye without being accused of trolling? But ye can have fun at the expense of my problem and at the expense of me? Ok, seems fair.

Mr_Muffin

Hey mate i have the opposite problem.

I am tiny. I don't even think it is an inch long serious.

auldgranny

In my experience the guys who talk about how big they are generally are not. Real big men don't need to brag.

recyclebin

Tis the season to be jolly,
troll la la la la la la

Smidge

On a side note OP, if you ever lose your current job you could always get gainful employment renting your massive member out as a spare firemans pole down the local fire station

Shrap

DVDM93 wrote: »

So I can't have a bit of fun with ye without being accused of trolling? But ye can have fun at the expense of my problem and at the expense of me? Ok, seems fair.

You don't know you have got a problem yet. We have suggested the motoring forum for a good lube, we have suggested manoeuvring slowly till someone says stop.....the rest is up to the driving skills OP.

deco nate

DVDM93 wrote: »

Sarcasm is the word you're looking for. No need for the well thought up examples. Thanks all the same though, it really helps with my problem.

What problem do you have op?
All you have said is your big and she is shy, so I'll ask again how "big" are you?
Don't go in dry. Foreplay... Foreplay... Foreplay!
But hey I think you're taking
The piss.
After reading all your replies to people on this thread.

Smidge

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Hey mate i have the opposite problem.

I am tiny. I don't even think it is an inch long serious.

So you wont be stuffin a muffin?





Can someone pass me my coat?

stampydmonkey

recyclebin wrote: »

Tis the season to be jolly,
troll la la la la la la

Just watched match of the day...normal version...not the extra long match of the
Day like the op

The barber of chewbacca

Ah I remember the days...

Don't worry OP I wore mine down over time:-)

deco nate

auldgranny wrote: »

In my experience the guys who talk about how big they are generally are not. Real big men don't need to brag.

I second that, pm dick pic inbound.

Smidge

I think the OP is taking the mickey.

stampydmonkey

Smidge wrote: »

I think the OP is taking the mickey.

Or the minnie...

smcgiff

Shrap wrote: »

?..the rest is up to the driving skills OP.

Agreed. If you're having sex and can feel her heart beat, you've probably gone too far.

Call Me Jimmy

Don't mind them OP, I hope you find a warm, loving place to put your large dong!

Shrap

smcgiff wrote: »

Agreed. If you're having sex and can feel her heart beat, you've probably gone too far.

She may have spoken up by then, you'd think. And seeing as the OP seems so concerned for her welfare, he'll be listening out for the slightest objection. Which should shorten the issue by at least two inches. Be grand, they said....

Iranoutofideas

Were you going to bat her across the jaw with it or something OP?

AlanS181824

I feel bad for laughing, sorry OP! :rolleyes:

Littlekittylou

I have a really tight pussy OP. Imagine how sore our sex would be.

Egginacup

DVDM93 wrote: »

I wasn't sure where to put this. Relationship Issues? Personal issues? Anyway I've decided to leave it here as it gives me a greater audience which will provide me with serious answers with a mix of expected humour, which to be honest I need as this is a sensitive issue which is bothering me.

Anyway, I've been seeing this girl for a little over two months now. Things are going great. I first met her while I was working, I work in a clothes shop and she was in doing early Xmas buying for her Dad. He's fussy and so I spent quite a will helping her pick out an outfit. Along with this she's the quiet type and rather shy which made the process longer but so be it, we really got on. Anyway, she bought an outfit and that was that. She left and we both got on with our day.

I thought nothing of her until I was out that night and by chance happened to bump in to her in a late bar. She was with her friends and I with mine. She spotted me and I could see that she recognised me so I went over for a chat. We got on great, had a few drinks, had a kiss, exchanged numbers and ended up going home separately.

As that might signal things have been going very slow, which I don't mind at all. She "doesn't want to rush things". I'm perfect with that.

However, our last couple of meetings at my house we've come very close to having sex. I've always found an excuse not to. Why? As the title says I'm afraid of hurting her. My penis is very VERY large and I'm almost certain she won't be able to handle it. It will be physically overwhelming for her but if keep avoiding making love to her will this not hurt her more, mentally?

Any advice/opinions, etc... would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Have you ever heard of a carrot peeler?

Buy one and get paring before the pairing.

Son Of A Vidic

Smidge wrote: »

I think the OP is taking the mickey.

Or most likely just lacking some.

Mickey H

Littlekittylou wrote: »

I have a really tight pussy OP. Imagine how sore our sex would be.

PM sent.

Littlekittylou

Mickey H wrote: »

PM sent.

How big is it?

PizzamanIRL

Littlekittylou wrote: »

How big is it?

Put it this way. The H in his name stands for 'humongous'

Mickey H

Littlekittylou wrote: »

How big is it?

About 6.....words.

deco nate

Littlekittylou wrote: »

I have a really tight pussy OP. Imagine how sore our sex would be.

Pm'd

deco nate

Mickey H wrote: »

PM sent.

****e, beaten to it
But I bet have a smaller dick than you( cause wemans love the small ones)