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Dumped by a Brazilian model
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This post really could not be more accurate.
It's pretty obvious to anyone with experience of Brazilians and their culture that the OP is not making this up.
My OH is Brazilian. I like to think she does not fit with the generalisations being bandied about here. We are nearly four years together and she is only emotionally volatile insofar as any woman is! And I should know...I am one
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Highflyer13 wrote: »Im not really getting the hate either tbh. Ireland has changed a lot in the last 15 years and its for the better. Dublin is a very modern and diverse city. Irish guys dating good looking foreign women is fairly normal these days. Well it is in my group of friends anyway. My own gf of two years is Venezuelan (and stunning):pac: and I do get the occasional bit of grief over 'why couldn't you get an Irish girl? etc from our own but I am not with her for her looks. Shes extremely intelligent, caring and down to earth.
Our population in Ireland is about .0005 % of the global population so is it really that inconceivable that some Irish men are going to date foreign women? Going by this thread to many it is. Btw OP I dont know why the hell you came to AH for advice????
Agree with you. My OH is Brazilian. We also have Greek, French and American/Italian in our family. I have Brazilian friends (who I met through OH) who have married Irish guys, had kids etc. They didn't run off when they got their visas...quelle surprise How boring the world would be if nobody every looked outside their own patch. 0 -
I would rather not date an Irish women of I could help it.
It you married an none Irish person you could move to there country if it came to that. Where as some one in Ireland may not want to leave Ireland.
That can go either way. We had a nightmare with INIS when she was trying to get her visa. Plus there is the issue of, in the future, where do you settle down? To me, I figure she was here when we met so there is more of an onus on her to stay here than for me to go there. There was, if you fancy, an implied assertion that the relationship would be conducted in the country it was established in :pac: Plus I f.ucking hate the place
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Which place do you hate. Ireland?OldNotWIse wrote: »That can go either way. We had a nightmare with INIS when she was trying to get her visa. Plus there is the issue of, in the future, where do you settle down? To me, I figure she was here when we met so there is more of an onus on her to stay here than for me to go there. There was, if you fancy, an implied assertion that the relationship would be conducted in the country it was established in :pac: Plus I f.ucking hate the place0 -
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when he first started the thread, he was sure she was gone for good and therefore the story could be told without any risk to him
however there now seems to be a chance she is still interested and she could come back to him.
but he is keeping this spectacle going.
he is apparently a clever careful guy, by his own admission he has been involved with a scam baiting ring, he has checked her out extensively, he won't risk posting her personal details.
but in a small country like ireland,. where there is probably just a few degrees of separation between everybody
he still persists with this thread.
risking that some brazilian who reads Boards.ie might just know this vision of beauty who has graced ireland with her presence
it it was me, and the woman of my dreams was coming back to me, i would want the thread to quietly die a death
i would even bribe the mods big money to delete the thread completely.
but no he keeps it going
and he is totally impervious to critisism, unbelievably so in fact
This whole story is BOGUS
its probably just part of a social studies assignment
A social experiment in what exactly? How to drive AH keyboard warriors apoplectic with the suggestion that a middle aged duffer could have dated some exotic beauty? I have not been impervious to criticism. I got red carded for one of my replies and I have taken on board a lot of the valid criticism and advice. But I have basically ignored the nonsense posts like yours that just keep banging on about how the story is not true. Because those posts don't bother me in the slightest. It is the equivalent of someone refusing to believe a scientific fact. Their refusal to believe it will never alter the fact that it is true.OldNotWIse wrote: »No, Brazil. Although I suspect that may have been more influenced by my experience with her right-wing, conservative, homophobic family of God botherers. I plan to return next year to give it another go
I have noticed the overly religious aspect too. It's a bit unnerving tbh. I also got a smack of homophobia - albeit very slight, but it surprised me considering she seems to have a lot of homosexual friends and is generally a very warm and tolerant person. But she seemed genuinely surprised to discover that I had gay friends!God OP men like you are very boring. I'm surprised she drew it out for more than a few dates to be honest, such is the gloating and fawning and tripping over yourself that you seem to have been doing over her looks. She must enjoy the ego boost.
If she's that attractive she's probably had a life's worth of men turning into gormless monkeys around her and you're no different, with your relentless quest to win "the ultimate prize" despite the hilariously long list of red flags she has been flying since you first met her.
What you've described among all the wandering rhetoric about how "outrageously hot" this woman is, is someone who's flighty, flaky, headwreckingly hot and cold, emotionally unstable at best, creepily obsessed with your daughter's physical features, self important and potentially juggling many men at once, and you can barely understand a word she says. But she "makes you happy", so disregard all of the above and flag this dead horse of a relationship and all of the chaos it will bring into your and your daughter's stable life, because she makes your c0ck hard. Jesus. So bloody boring.
I like cake, cake makes me happy. But I'm not going to eat all the pies all day every day because that would make me fat, bloated and miserable.
I assume you consider yourself a rational, mature man? You're 46, a dedicated father, hard worker, you've come through your own emotional wars. So why are you reducing yourself to just another gormless muppet who can't see the wood for the trees and can't walk away from something toxic and headwrecking, and writing this woman off as "this really attractive but completely mental woman I dated this one time" and running for the hills, with a few lessons learned?
Instead you're fawning and high-fiving over her like some teenage school kid, rattling on about how she used to be a model and some junkie commented on her looks this one time (as junkies are wonton to do) or a group of men in a bar stared at her (as men in bars are wonton to do) or she's got an aRse you could bounce currency on, all the while making plans to harass her into a longterm relationship with you.
To be honest if some lad I was dating couldn't see passed my aRse or tits or face to the person that I actually am, unless I was severely emotionally damaged I would abort mission fast enough to make his head spin. Someone being hot and a bit exciting does not a relationship make. If someone asked me to describe my own OP, I'd ramble on about how funny he is, how honest and genuine, where he grew up, what he does for a living because that's what he is to me - my best mate and the most decent and smart and utterly lovely person I know wrapped up in the package of a ride of a man. Coz yeah he's hot and that attracted me. But that doesn't deserving its own pedestal because I am not twelve.
With all due respects, grow up.
There is a lot of truth in your post and thank you for taking to time to write it. It is well thought out and written and you make a lot of valid points which I agree with and I absolutely have no problem taking on board what you have said. Most of what you have said, I have already told myself.
But I have to disagree with you on a few things. While I have described her physical appearance in the way I have, that does not mean that that is how I perceive her. I was just describing her appearance. When I met her initially, it was all I saw and I fully expected her to be a shallow gold-digger just looking for a sugar daddy. I was sure she would prove to be nothing more than a bit of fun and distraction, but that is not what happened. I became genuinely very attracted to her on a deeper level in a very short space of time. My last relationship of 2+ years was to a Polish girl and one of the reasons that fizzled out was due to the communication barrier. Not being able to share properly and fully the subtleties of our day was a problem (although there were other issues). I found myself sharing and talking more with this girl and overcoming the language barrier easier. I could be completely wrong here and it may have just been that she came along at a time when I was emotionally open again, and that she is in fact nothing more than a glorified infatuation - I suspect this may be true. But it is not an infatuation based on physical lust. As I've said a few times now, the reason I started the thread was to try and get a handle on what happened. Not just on why she seemed to be attracted to me, but moreso to try and work out wtf was going on with me! I'm normally very level-headed and was never a womaniser or a guy who would gawp at women.
Thanks again for you post as it has been one of the few that has helped me work things out. I will try again with her as I am still very interested in her, but I imagine that it will start to fade quite quickly once the reality does start to hit home.0 -
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,174 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59102
+1 and it would be my humble it's often a better bet for Irish folks to look beyond their local patch. IME we seem to be quite a good fit for many cultures, particularly the more Latin ones. And we tend to do better for ourselves beyond our shores. Oh and I include Irish women in this one too, though fewer seem to go that route for some reason. Both the men and women I've known who've dated/ended up with foreign folks have upgraded from their usual local fare. I think it's our sense of humour which has a lot to do with it, that and we're generally easy going as a culture and take ourselves less seriously than some. Again both Irish women and Irish men.OldNotWIse wrote: »Agree with you. My OH is Brazilian. We also have Greek, French and American/Italian in our family. I have Brazilian friends (who I met through OH) who have married Irish guys, had kids etc. They didn't run off when they got their visas...quelle surprise How boring the world would be if nobody every looked outside their own patch.
I'd be in full agreement with Beks here I have to say. If a woman has been seen and pointed out as more beautiful from her peers from an early age, the chances of daft behaviour are much more likely. Why? She can get away with it. Like the spoiled child who has a tantrum. People will react to her differently, in both good and bad ways, but mostly to the overall good, at least on the surface. They're more likely to be demanding, more likely to be daft and tend to live in a bubble of their own wonderfulness as they've had enough simps fawn over them to make this seem like reality. Worst of all they are more likely to be narcissistic, as they know, either consciously(if they've a brain) or subconsciously(if they're thickos) that their looks are what gets the goods, what smooths life's passage for them. I don't blame them. Unless they have a very good handle on their internal dialogue from an early age(and few of us do), their reality is quite different.If she's that attractive she's probably had a life's worth of men turning into gormless monkeys around her and you're no different, with your relentless quest to win "the ultimate prize" despite the hilariously long list of red flags she has been flying since you first met her.
Now when such beauties hit their 30's and 40's that stuff can go south rapidly. She's still getting some attention, but because of a stunted developmental stage, she's less and less bringing much to the table and the attention is getting less and less too, particularly from men she actually seeks out*.
In short; a helluva lot of hard work. Grand for a fling, grand for some sugar daddy arm candy(which is why quite the number of actually pretty women in their 30's are with guys in their 50's with some cash behind them), but long term, equal relationship not nearly so much. You will get tired of looking at her(and another verb) and then what have you left? Unless she has an actual human personality behind the coin bounce bottom, then... Plus for waaaaay too many men they will project a real human personality on to such women, to justify their baser feelings. As someone(apologies, can't recall who) who very wisely asked and I'm paraphrasing here "would you take this kind of behaviour and hot/cold stuff from Mary from Meath who was plainer?" Nope, you wouldn't.
TO take that further? If you want to get Miss Brazil more engaged with you? Treat her like Mary from Meath. Treat her like a human being. And be prepared to walk away if she doesn't act like one. If she knows you will act like this, then you've just marked yourself out as the unusual man in her life. Her ex you mentioned, with the ma who does his pleading? Sounds like a right simp. I'll bet he keeps her attention because he's either of the same looks level as her, jumps her like his life depended on it or more likely is just as emotionally hot and cold as she is, so keeps her interested, because it's more attention and Mexican soap opera stuff.
IME very beautiful women tend to have quite the checkered relationship history and often far less successful compared to her more average looking peers. They're more likely to end up with arseholes, because a) arseholes are more likely to approach them and b) arseholes will give her the impression of a genuine man who will walk away is they get badly treated. Oh and BTW I'm not saying this is the case with all very beautiful women. Not at all. Those who are intelligent and emotionally clued in, those who grow into their looks from an awkward teenage phase, those from different cultures etc are far less likely to be nearly so flaky.
Still, she sounds like way more trouble than she's worth. Going by your descriptions anyway B. Like I said, fine for a flingette, but long term? Nope. And at 35 she should well have her inner dialogue and act sorted.
*Just my humble, but this is a very common mistake men(and sometimes even women) make about women in general, but very good looking women in particular. They see them getting lots of attention of a night out, lots of ArseBook "likes" and Tinder swipes and think "oh she has the pick of the bunch". Nope, what she has is more attention, but not necessarily the attention she wants. She may have quantity in spades, but quality may be low, even lower than plainer folks.Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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What is so unnerving about her religious practices ?
A brazilian christian is not like an Irish christian. A Brazilian christians often do not accept evolution for example. They are more like bible thumpers from the usa. It can be quite frustrating dealing with someone like that
This is partly to do with my earlier point about education - the education system in Brasil is very poor. And you will find many unquestioning bible thumpers there, and among the community here. It can be a bit more extreme than irish catholicism.0 -
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,174 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59102
Fair play B, I ran that tank dry by 39. Affection, fondness? Yea, but love? Nope. #jadedreductionistbastid.And a little bit of advice to everyone - even when you hit 46 you will still be capable of falling in love. Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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