Sleepwalking Weirdness

Patrick15

Hey,

Just joined this as I need some advice on something that I'm not sure I can ask any of my friends about without it becoming a running joke for the next decade! Bear with me please...

I'm a 28 year old male, and I returned to college to complete my bachelors degree last September. Because of this, I decided the sensible thing to do would be to move into shared accommodation with strangers; a first for me, having lived on my own prior to this, and with friends before that. So I'm living with three other lads now who are all fairly sound, no problems at all really.

Two weeks ago I had a rough couple of days. I'm still working in the same job I had before returning to college; with reduced hours but essentially the same level of responsibility. With everything going on in the college i.e. FYP, assignments, exams looming etc. getting on top of me, I 'dropped the ball' so to speak in work and got in serious s**t for it. My manager basically told me that if I so much as breathe the wrong way now I'm out the door! Not even five minutes after this bollockin', I get a call from another job I had interviewed for (to start when I complete degree) to tell me I wasn't successful... The Christmas exams start then and I'm stacking up on the red-bull and coffee and pulling all-nighters cramming and what not for the week, and it's straight into work then for seven days straight. Good times!

So the Monday after I finish my exams, I get home from work and one of the lads I live with comes into my room making the usual chit-chat, before saying to me "Did you enjoy your walkabout the other night?" After about 10 minutes of confusion/thinking he was making some kind of joke I wasn't getting, he tells me that I was in his bedroom a couple of nights beforehand at like 5 in the morning, just looking out his door! He apparently asked if I was ok and I responded to him saying "yeah I'm fine" or something and just walked out of his room and back into my own room again... WTF?!?! So at first I'm thinking he's a bit warped but no, the girlfriend happened to be there with him that night and she confirms his story although I don't think she for sure saw who was in the room. Then I'm thinking it must have been the other lad living with us who had been out all night for his Christmas party and who got home at about the exact time the other guy is saying someone was in his room but no, he says he knew my voice and that he would be "70% sure" it was me. (Just to note, I had went to bed relatively early the night in question with no alcohol or anything consumed...)

So, as you can probably imagine, having something like this dropped on me wasn't an easy thing to believe when I've never done anything like this in my life before (confirmed with both parents and friends I'd lived with for over 2 years) and even when I did eventually get around to apologizing to current roommate (having read up a bit on sleepwalking and how people can have no recollection of it, and that it can be brought on by stress and a messed up sleeping routine etc.) it felt dishonest because I'm STILL not sure I believe it was me even now. Anyway, I just tried to let it go as he was fairly cool about it and I didn't want to be beating a dead horse and interrogating him every time we ran into each other about what exactly happened that night... This was, until yesterday morning when I was bringing laundry downstairs and I heard a lot of shuffling with keys and realised he was unlocking his door (he's apparently locking his room at night now... reasonable reaction I suppose) and then locked it again after he came out before stopping me on the landing to tell me how he's locking his room now in the event of 'someone breaking in to the house'. This was honestly one of the most humiliating conversations I've ever had as it was painfully obvious that not only is he locking himself into the room because he thinks I'm a crazy person but he's also locking it now for what I'm assuming is his fear that I may also be a thief!

So yeah, that's the nuts and bolts of it. Apologies for any waffle but I was just trying to put it all into context. My question is, should I just move out now or wait it out for the next 4 or 5 months until I finish the college when ill be moving out anyway? I'm not on any kind of fixed term contract with the landlord and although the location is convenient for me, I'm not sure how long I can deal with being the 'weird' roommate that others don't trust. Again, no-one is really being a d**k about it or even mentioning it now but it's plaguing me to say the least as I'd hate to think I'm causing others to feel uncomfortable in their own home... All suggestions welcome!

Wabbit Ears

First week, first year in college I woke up and one of the other housemates (same, first houseshare with strangers) was standing in the corner of my room. Freakiest thing ever!! Like ever ever ever. ever. ever ever.

I moved out a day or so later.

Mrs OBumble

AFAIK, lots of people in Ireland who house-share with strangers lock their rooms. That's why bedrooms in shared houses are routinely provided with locks and keys.

It's a new one one me, never did it in 20-odd years of house-sharing overseas. But I've seen it more than a few times here.

As regards moving now vs in a few months time: surely that would simply be adding even more stress which you don't need? So long as the others aren't giving you grief about it, I'd stay.

ghogie91

Haha I think your over thinking it?

When in college it wasn't sleep walking stopping the other room mates coming into the room haha

If its the cause of a rough patch then it will pass. I wouldnt worry too much and the majority of people are very receptive of a person who sleep walks. I for one wouldnt pass any remarks, just give them a nudge back to bed

Arbiter of Good Taste

OP can you be more succinct? Life is too short

Piriz

OP perhaps you should lock your own door when you sleep, put your keys under the bed or something... problem solved... I think you can speak to all your housemates one more time as a group about what happened...they will see how embarrassed you are and that you are genuine, they will feel sorry for you as they will probably appreciate it could happen to anyone...they sound decent..

the stress you are under is apparent in your post, just focus on doing your best (as you are) . You will look back on this and laugh but i suspect your confidence is low and you should try to get a bit of balance back into your life before you burn out...you will however succeed in your studies and career...a person who studies and works at the same time always does well.. (well done on the interview before you graduated that is a good sign in itself).

Happy new year...

Sala

Lots of people sleep walk. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of people lock their rooms in house shares as well and even if he is doing it to stop you going in, that's not a really bad reflection on you, it makes sense if someone is going to be sleepwalking around and waking him up. When you get to know each other better it won't be much of an issue.

Ps don't sleep naked :-)

Ken.

I have a cousin with a sleepwalking problem. Locking the door didn't work so he got a small cheap door alarm. Switch it on at night before sleeping and it emits a high pitched squeal when the connection is broken. Wakes him up every time. He got his in woodies for under a tenner. Can't find a link to them online but here's a video of the alarm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iWNiWebKwc

Victor

You're stressed and consuming large amounts of

Patrick15 wrote: »

I'm stacking up on the red-bull and coffee

Lay off these and go see your doctor. It's quite possibly just the stress.

Eat some proper food, drink water, avoid alcohol, stimulants and other drugs (unless prescribed). Get some proper rest.

It might be useful to talk to someone about the stress. College would probably do that for free.

Victor

Moved from Accommodation & Property.

Moderator

LegacyUser

OP I would go with the alarm idea but would very strongly recommend that you never ever ever lock a bedroom door.
In the event of a fire vital seconds can be lost and it could be the difference between life and death. Believe me I am speaking from experience on this one.

Veloce

I get a bad dose of notable sleepwalking about every two months OP. Locked myself out of my apartment numerous times at ridiculous times (4 / 5am). Ended up in the underground car park beside my car on more than one occasion. Locked myself out of a hotel room one night in just my boxers and the hotel staff had to come up as they had spotted me wandering around the hallways on CCTV.

I have no recollection of these events - in the instances where I've gotten locked out I usually 'wake' up when I get confused and can't find my way back. It's just like finding yourself standing there barefoot with cold feet and have no idea how you've gotten there - scary stuff. When I get locked out it's just me in my pjs, no phone, no glasses to see, no keys to get back in! Luckily the couple who live next me know what I'm like and have buzzed me back. A few times I've tied my keys to my pyjamas before going to sleep!

Eeden

This is really very common in my experience, but almost everyone I know who has suffered from it has been too embarrassed to seek help.

Someone I know ended up quite seriously injured (not to mention unbelievably embarrassed) after locking himself out of his flat one night while wearing nothing - he was very lucky not to have suffered from hypothermia, because someone found him. Someone else I know used to suffer from it whenever he was away from home -- too bad he travelled for a living -- also with unbelievably embarrassing consequences.

It is very often stress-related. It seems like a great laugh to other people, but it can have serious consequences, hypothermia being the main one. I would recommend talking to a GP or figuring out some sort of safe way to wake yourself up (locking a bedroom door could be very dangerous in case of a fire).

R.D. aka MR.D

You're embarrassed, OP. But I don't think you need to be.

My best friend in college sat me down before we moved into a shared room together and warned me that she sleep walks. She explained what it was and why it happens and what i might expect. Oh the adventures we had! Screaming, celebrities outside the window, spiders on the wall, attempts to get out the front door, standing over me staring in the middle of the night and many more!
I'll be honest and say it occasionally bothered me especially if it scared me but at the end of the day I understood that she had no way to control it. If she was stressed, it happened.

My last boyfriend also sleep walks. He was always so embarrassed about it when it happened and I would try to explain that it only annoyed me when he woke me up or scared me. But again, I understood that it was out of his control.

Stop worrying. Unless your housemates are the biggest aholes in the world, they won't care. I can understand your housemate locking his room. Our housemate in college locked hers too, not because she hated my friend or resented her, it was only so that she wouldn't be scared even momentarily. But you also said he locked it when he wasn't in there so he could be locking it for safety reasons or maybe he has a lot of cash on him at the moment and wants to have it at home so there is an increased risk of having an unlocked door.

You're over thinking this. You are projecting your ideas onto your housemates. I could almost guarantee you they don't really care.

LegacyUser

OP, when I am stressed, I sleepwalk too. I used to have to warn my housemates when I shared and now my OH is aware of the issue. It only happens when I am stressed and I have no recollection of it.

I wake up and the lights are on/ curtains are open or I am in the wrong bed. I have unplugged the fridge/ cleaned the bathroom/ dressed myself/ wandered into housemates rooms for a chat.

It happens, it is annoying but it only happens at times of stress. You may have been sleepwalking for years but restricting your movements to your own room. In my case, normally I don't leave the bedroom but I know cos the lights will wake me or, despite a decent nights sleep, I am exhausted. I also waje up with bruises that I can't explain. My housemates once told me that I had been pacing up and down in my room but I had no idea. My family have no experience of me doing this cos I suppose that the real stress only started after I left hone.

In some house shares people lock their doors all the time. Christmas is a particularly bad time for breakins too, so he may just be a bit more security conscious.

Rubberchikken

Talk to your gp.
I think some people sleepwalk due to stress and chatting to your gp would be a good start.

After that, lock your bedroom door when you're ready for bed.

Your fellow flatsharers sound ok with it so once you've sorted it out maybe you'll be able to stay put to the year end

Patrick15

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Freakiest thing ever!! Like ever ever ever. ever. ever ever.

You really know how to hammer a point home! Haha

ghogie91 wrote: »

Haha I think your over thinking it?

I think you might be right!

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

OP can you be more succinct? Life is too short

You're right! Guess I'm just lucky my problem is sleepwalking and not sleeptalking

Piriz wrote: »

OP perhaps you should lock your own door when you sleep, put your keys under the bed or something... problem solved... I think you can speak to all your housemates one more time as a group about what happened...they will see how embarrassed you are and that you are genuine, they will feel sorry for you as they will probably appreciate it could happen to anyone...they sound decent..

the stress you are under is apparent in your post, just focus on doing your best (as you are) . You will look back on this and laugh but i suspect your confidence is low and you should try to get a bit of balance back into your life before you burn out...you will however succeed in your studies and career...a person who studies and works at the same time always does well.. (well done on the interview before you graduated that is a good sign in itself).

Happy new year...

Think another conversation with them might be a good idea. Thanks. And many happy returns

Sala wrote: »

Ps don't sleep naked :-)

Hadn't even thought about this... Lol Thanks.

ken wrote: »

I have a cousin with a sleepwalking problem. Locking the door didn't work so he got a small cheap door alarm. Switch it on at night before sleeping and it emits a high pitched squeal when the connection is broken. Wakes him up every time. He got his in woodies for under a tenner.

Gonna try Woodies the weekend for this, thanks a million!

Victor wrote: »

Eat some proper food, drink water, avoid alcohol, stimulants and other drugs (unless prescribed). Get some proper rest.

Attempting all of the above (New Years resolutions and all that). Thanks

Veloce wrote: »

I get a bad dose of notable sleepwalking about every two months OP. Locked myself out of my apartment numerous times at ridiculous times (4 / 5am). Ended up in the underground car park beside my car on more than one occasion. Locked myself out of a hotel room one night in just my boxers and the hotel staff had to come up as they had spotted me wandering around the hallways on CCTV.

I have no recollection of these events - in the instances where I've gotten locked out I usually 'wake' up when I get confused and can't find my way back. It's just like finding yourself standing there barefoot with cold feet and have no idea how you've gotten there - scary stuff. When I get locked out it's just me in my pjs, no phone, no glasses to see, no keys to get back in! Luckily the couple who live next me know what I'm like and have buzzed me back. A few times I've tied my keys to my pyjamas before going to sleep!

This has somehow made me feel simultaneously better and worse about my own situation! Lol Can I ask is the sleepwalking something that you have always done since you were a child or did it just begin to happen as an adult?

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

You're over thinking this. You are projecting your ideas onto your housemates. I could almost guarantee you they don't really care.

Yeah I'm thinking I might be overthinking the whole thing a bit alright but it came out of nowhere. Just need to get the head around it maybe. Thanks

sleepwalker too wrote: »

It happens, it is annoying but it only happens at times of stress. You may have been sleepwalking for years but restricting your movements to your own room. In my case, normally I don't leave the bedroom but I know cos the lights will wake me or, despite a decent nights sleep, I am exhausted. I also waje up with bruises that I can't explain. My housemates once told me that I had been pacing up and down in my room but I had no idea. My family have no experience of me doing this cos I suppose that the real stress only started after I left hone.

In some house shares people lock their doors all the time. Christmas is a particularly bad time for breakins too, so he may just be a bit more security conscious.

Hadn't really considered I could have been doing it before this but yeah, I'm often exhausted as well even though I try to get adequate sleep.

Roommate also got a new PS4 for Christmas so maybe he is just being a little more security conscious because of that.

Thanks

Rachiee

OP you are seriously over thinking this you are not a mind reader and don't know that your room mate thinks you are a thief or a weirdo. You are projecting your own indecorous onto him. Sleep walking happens it may have been a once off due to mix of stress lack of sleep and stimulants.get some rest try not to stress about this honestly if my room mate started sleepwalking I'd lock my door just so I could sleep in peace I wouldn't think he was word out be worried about living with him.

Veloce

Patrick15 wrote: »

This has somehow made me feel simultaneously better and worse about my own situation! Lol Can I ask is the sleepwalking something that you have always done since you were a child or did it just begin to happen as an adult?

First time I did it I was 18 or 19. I walked in to my parents room late at night and in to their en suite bathroom! Did nothing though just walked back out!

I've been meaning to go to a GP myself but it hasn't happened properly in the last 2 or 3 months.

I'd echo what Rachiee said though. Don't worry about it. Most people are fine with sleepwalkers if they know about it

RoscommonTom

Dont worry about it, if thats all your housemates have to worry about they havent much going on, ive heard stories of fellas pissing in their girlfriends parents room and even one fella ****ting in his brothers mouth while sleep walking so dont be stressing about it,

Miaireland

I sleepwalk when I am very stressed. Thankfully most of the time it has been at my parents house rather than anywhere else.

The first time I went into the spare/junk room. I tidies the whole place up and then got into the bed there.

The second time I went into my parents bed.

The third time I walked into my parents room, turned on the light, said hello to them and switched off the light and went back to bed.

I have had a couple of more incidents like this but not recently. Nearly all these incidents were within a one year period. I do try and reduce my stress levels now.

I never lock my door at night (although always did when I was in a houseshare, long before I sleep walk) but do set up little traps for myself when I am under a lot of stress like upturned hairbrush by the bed. Windchimes on my door etc in case I walk. However I do warn everyone that I sleepwalk and no one seems to be bothered