can you take criticism?

anncoates

I think I can take constructive criticism but it's obviously not for me to ultimately judge.

One of the traits I most detest in people is when they find it hard to apologize or fess up when they're wrong or take relatively harmless constructive criticism.

DoYouEvenLift

Hate people who can't tell the difference between someone taking the piss out of them and someone who's objectively giving a different opinion with the aim to help them improve. Would most people honestly prefer to be kept oblivious of negative aspects regarding them which they can improve upon rather than take criticisms on board, consider them and work towards improving?

Taking criticism can initially sting since it may be something you were totally unaware of and it's fine. But you take it, gather your thoughts and feelings then consider what's said and either plan to work towards working it out or don't but in the long run you shouldn't feel upset or mad at the criticiser but instead happy to have someone care enough about you to be honest and straightforward with their opinions of/about you or whatever it is they're criticising. But, of course, being the criticiser you have to word everything very carefully and also offer positives along with the negatives. If we all only ever received positive feedback we wouldn't feel the need to try and progress as much.

nc6000

If I say no will you criticise me?

Green Giant

I can shrug it off instantly when it comes from a stranger, i.e. angry caller into work, throwaway comment from someone I pass on the street, etc, as I don't give a toss about them or their opinions.

It hurts a bit more when it comes from a friend or family member as I care about what they think of me and, whenever they do criticise me (more often than not it's justified), I feel as if I've let them down.

A bigger problem for me is probably that I'm not able to criticise others. Even when I feel someone is screwing me over, unless I lose my temper I'll either take it on the chin or try to get my views across in a subtle manner. I also resort to white lies from time to time, e.g. I'll never tell someone I didn't like the dinner they served me.

Tony EH

It really depends on who is doing the criticising.

If someone knowledgeable gives a critical viewpoint on something I've said or done, then fair enough. I may not agree, or I may take on board their critique.

However, if someone is just talking a load of old bollocks, they'll be told fairly sharpish.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Very well-adjusted

I wish it were default. Can you imagine what this world would be like if people just shrugged off bile from people they did not even respect in the first place?

Alas the world we live in is one where if someone throws scuf your way - they become important for just having done it.

Which is not the kind of attention I would like to laud on anyone. But we as a species are crap at this.

If some guy or gal walked up to you tonight - someone you never met before - and they insulted you - pointed out some flaw in you - whether it exists or not - the average human reaction is - TO REACT.

And if I could delete ANYTHING from our species it would be that. Why react to some random man on the street who shouts out something about your hair or pimple - any more than you would if a bird shat on your head?

It is all incoming information. Wisdom comes from selecting the information channels that have worth.

lulu1

Yes I can take it no problem Its the people who can dish it out and then cant take it themselves that i cant stand them.

wylie

It really depends on the situation for me. But generally i take it to heart.

yes there

Its all about the delivery. Some people love passing a remark and that just grates. If it's someone who is genuinely telling you so you can improve then that is fine and I don't think that should be even classed as criticism to be honest.

yes there

Saipanne wrote: »

I can. I thrive on it. But in general, Irish people can't stand it.

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

This was actually genius although I don't know if you meant it.

Venus In Furs

lulu1 wrote: »

Its the people who can dish it out and then cant take it themselves that i cant stand them.

+1. The arrogance of that is amazing.

bnt

I'm not Irish, and a post above reminded me of something I've noticed. As part of my job I often have to ask colleagues questions, and some of them - Irish folk - can take that badly. I almost feel I have to explain to them that I'm asking a question because I need to know the answer. The act of asking the question is not criticism in itself, not "giving out". I think this is a "thing" in Ireland - the aggressive question, as if asking is a form of criticism.

Conversely, I think there have been occasions when other people have tried to use a "question as a weapon" on me, and I didn't get it. I don't mind questions, it's the answers that are more likely to offend. :P

osarusan

It depends a few things:

-who's doing the criticising. What do I think about them, and to what extent do I respect them?
-what the criticism is - as mentioned earlier, if it tallies with my own opinion, then no problem. But what if I think the criticism is just wrong?
-what comes with the criticism - are there any suggestions/advice on how to improve? What's the advice like? Is it useful, or straight from a manager's handbook?

Thespoofer

Constructive...yes

mad muffin

Depends on the person giving it. If I respect them, sure. If I dont, then no.

Cathy.C

anncoates wrote: »

I think I can take constructive criticism but it's obviously not for me to ultimately judge.

One of the traits I most detest in people is when they find it hard to apologize or fess up when they're wrong or take relatively harmless constructive criticism.

Grammatically speaking, the second line of your post is not very well formed as it reads as if you detest people who have no problem taking relatively harmless constructive criticism. Now, in the context of the rest of your post I strongly suspect that this is quite the opposite of what you actually wanted to say and so I hope you don't mind me pointing this out.

Had you simply omitted the first incidence of the word 'or' and used a comma in it's place, you would have constructed a sentence which would have far more aptly conveyed your feelings, like so:

One of the traits I most detest in people is when they find it hard to apologize, fess up when they're wrong or take relatively harmless constructive criticism

You also used the American English spelling of the word apologise but perhaps that is down to your spell checker settings rather than being borne from personal choice and so I'll spare you further criticism in that regard.

MRnotlob606

I'm generally a laid back guy and even somtimes a pushover, But if I feel somebody's becoming too critical with no constructive basis for their comments I will get very exasperated.

osarusan

Cathy.C wrote: »

Grammatically speaking, the second line of your post is not very well formed as it reads as if you detest people who have no problem taking relatively harmless constructive criticism. Now, in the context of the rest of your post I strongly suspect that this is quite the opposite of what you actually wanted to say and so I hope you don't mind me pointing this out.

Had you simply omitted the first incidence of the word 'or' and used a comma in it's place, you would have constructed a sentence which would have far more aptly conveyed your feelings, like so:



You also used the American English spelling of the word apologise but perhaps that is down to your spell checker settings rather than being borne from personal choice and so I'll spare you further criticism in that regard.

:pac:

Cathy.C

osarusan wrote: »

in it's place

Thank you.

Teyla Emmagan

I've taken a lot of criticism over the years, but never from anyone who knew what they were on about, so it's always been easy to ignore.

I worked for a company once that has this BS philosophy about sharing "assessments". It basically meant you could say whatever you wanted about someone's style or actions and they were supposed to thank you for your considered opinion and take it on board. Maybe that's how I got good at blocking things that didn't suit me ;-)

FunLover18

Depends on the "criticism".

I was once told I need to "broaden my horizons" because I don't like coffee. FÚCK OFF!!!!

Gael23

If you've tried really hard at something and people only point out problems it can be hard to take. But it is healthy at times also

RobertKK

It depends on the criticism, if it is constructive criticism, yes I can take that, it is something one can note and either use or ignore. if it is put down criticism, I just won't accept it, with putdown criticism, I see the problem as not being me but the person who has to use a put down.

If you are going to criticise something, then one should should look for positives that they can give the person, I am not in favour of just criticising someone and leaving them feeling depressed.

As I got older I have learned to ignore people whom I know don't like me, they all happen to be online rather than real life, like let them talk and then Taylor Swift them and shake it off, if it is put down, well haters are gonna hate.

Aongus Von Bismarck

Constructive and useful criticism - yes.

Belligerence masquerading as criticism by subordinates - absolutely not.