Victims of domestic violence

MissInterested

Hi everyone,

I was thinking to myself how shocking it is that there is barely any kind of support for men in which are victims of domestic abuse.

I just want to ask everyone's opinion about this social issue? Why is it that Ireland provides such little support for domestic abuse against men? I have a fair idea, it just seems ridiculous that this social issue has been swept under the carpet for as long as it has.

Also, I'm curious and I am trying to look into ways in which could possibly help male victims. I believe there is a high demand for some sort of shelter or refuge for men and their children to flee to for safety, however, I am wondering does anyone have any ideas as to where a shelter or refuge could be based to start off in Irelands? I have a few ideas though I would be interested in other peoples ideas.

Thanks everyone

Ruu

I have moved your post to start a new thread, rather than one from 2012. Ta.

Mod.

wp_rathead

There is a support available through Amen

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I don't think there's much help for any victim, to be honest. Although there's a little bit more for women, in regards to refuges and councillors and being taken seriously.

MissInterested

I was just wondering if a refuge or shelter were to be built for men where could it possibly be based? I was thinking perhaps could they possibly share a woman's shelter or would it be better to have a separate shelter?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

No they shouldn't have to share services. They should have their own resources. I don't think it's fair on either gender to leave an abusive environment (which let me tell you is not an easy thing to do) only for them to be put in with complete strangers of the same sex that was abusive

Donkey Oaty

wprathead wrote: »

There is a support available through Amen

Never heard of it before.

Good site - direct and to the point with advice, rather than spouting drivel about what wonderful work they do.

Cathy.C

MissInterested wrote: »

I was just wondering if a refuge or shelter were to be built for men where could it possibly be based? I was thinking perhaps could they possibly share a woman's shelter or would it be better to have a separate shelter?

I have met Niamh Farrell, of AMEN, quite a number of times while I worked at NWCI and it was always her position that the focus should not be on shelters at all but on the framing and strengthening of the laws governing domestic abuse so that the perpetrator of the violence is the one who ultimately ends up looking for somewhere to live, not the victim of it.

An idealistic view perhaps but I guess that particular view was stressed in an attempt to shed light on the fact that female perpetrators of domestic violence are not nearly as often ordered to leave the family home, in comparison to their male counterparts. An area of inequality indeed which AMEN to their credit quite frequently speak out on.

MissInterested

I agree that services should not be shared due to that point and a great point that was. I'm just wondering what peoples opinions are. I also agree the law needs to strengthened around this social issue. However, until it is awful to think there are men and children out there in this situation and have really no where to go.

The Diabolical Monocle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRccFE5h1W4

kerry4sam

Interesting thread here. Have you seen the Sunday Independent yet this morning

In other words, official Ireland has woken up. But has it?

... Have a read of this and it could answer a few queries of yours.
This is only some of the ways in which females were responded to; now, do you think many men out there if they experienced similar 'in the Home', that they would subject themselves to this ridicule?

Another article here to read. Maybe this country needs to tackle some of those issues and take them seriously for people to feel safe enough to report anything.

Just my thoughts,
kerry4sam

Soft Falling Rain

Interesting reads kerry but I think women can have much better emotional supports in such a traumatic time, which will at least go a long way in helping the victim to escape her abusive partner.

Men on the other hand, may lack that emotional support, so if you combine that with garda ineptness then that creates a much more difficult situation to escape.

I know a bloke for example who is the victim of regular drunken rants from his girlfriend (really aggressive and wild eyed) where she's threatened to stab him and cut his head off.

But what do his friends do? They laugh about it! Another problem in this scenario is that there's a young child involved, so if you combine all those factors together you have an environment that's incredibly difficult to leave.

That being said, all abusive environments can be incredibly difficult to escape, especially if the abuser has broken their victim down mentally. It takes a special kind of scum to be able to do such things, to literally break someone.