2016 brides!

The_Stranger

Dovies wrote: »

Meeting with the hotel this afternoon - tie up everything meeting. Anyway wedding coordinator is no longer there - will meet the new one today! This makes number feckin 4!

4!!! :eek: Ours changed once but it was before we got into the nitty gritty details so we found it ok. Hope all goes well for you.

I tried my dress on yesterday and I've put on weight. It doesn't look good on me at all now. I've 3 weeks to try and shift as much as I can. I'm so annoyed with myself. :mad:

autumnbelle

The_Stranger wrote: »

4!!! :eek: Ours changed once but it was before we got into the nitty gritty details so we found it ok. Hope all goes well for you.

I tried my dress on yesterday and I've put on weight. It doesn't look good on me at all now. I've 3 weeks to try and shift as much as I can. I'm so annoyed with myself. :mad:

I bet its gorgeous on you, I have myself convinced I dont like mine just as I have it just about paid off!!

RedNiamhy

RedNiamhy wrote: »

Hi, I'm getting married in August and have started thinking about the mass booklet, readings, etc but gettingmarried.ie is down and says "website disabled". Does anyone know if this is a permanent thing or can anyone direct me to a similar website?
Thanks

Has anyone else had this problem or have any remedies or alternatives? We are meeting the priest this weekend and I wanted to have the readings etc picked before then.

andreac

Im off on my hen tomorrow to Kilkenny. Anyone else on their hen this weekend?

shortstuff!

RedNiamhy wrote: »

RedNiamhy wrote: »

Hi, I'm getting married in August and have started thinking about the mass booklet, readings, etc but gettingmarried.ie is down and says "website disabled". Does anyone know if this is a permanent thing or can anyone direct me to a similar website?
Thanks

Has anyone else had this problem or have any remedies or alternatives? We are meeting the priest this weekend and I wanted to have the readings etc picked before then.

Add your reply here.
Heres some my parish priest has up
http://www.enfieldparish.ie/readings/weddingmassreadings

emmagination

andreac wrote: »

Im off on my hen tomorrow to Kilkenny. Anyone else on their hen this weekend?

Have a fab time! Kilkenny is a great spot!

Mine is next weekend in Westport

honerbright

I want to take my dress in for fitting in the next few weeks but I'm struggling to find a bra to go under it. Have any of you ladies had any luck with a backless bra or preferably a low back bra?
I was in debenhams today and they have the stick on ones and ones with 'wings' on the side but I've never had any luck with them and they definitely wouldn't last the full wedding day and I don't feel like there's any support in them (I would usually be a 34D)
My dress comes down to maybe an inch or so below where the back bra strap would usually be, and I'm in Cork if anyone knows of somewhere in the area to look, but I'd be willing to travel for one. I don't want to buy online because my size varies with bra types, just to be difficult

andreac

Im having my first major stress to do with the wedding. Ive discovered that there has been a whole load of people invited to it, by fiances parents, that we knew nothing about!! Only that i got the hotel to email me a copy of the accommodation list i spotted a whole load of people that weren't on our invite list!!! Im absol raging. Like who the hell does that??

Ive told my other half im ringing his parents this evening as this is just not on and they need to give me names and numbers if they are doing this, which, im not even happy about in the first place, but at least if i know who is coming i can put them down on the plan and final figures etc.

I nearly lost the head earlier. I text his mam to say ill be ringing her later to talk about it.

SarahMollie

andreac wrote: »

Im having my first major stress to do with the wedding. Ive discovered that there has been a whole load of people invited to it, by fiances parents, that we knew nothing about!! Only that i got the hotel to email me a copy of the accommodation list i spotted a whole load of people that weren't on our invite list!!! Im absol raging. Like who the hell does that??

Ive told my other half im ringing his parents this evening as this is just not on and they need to give me names and numbers if they are doing this, which, im not even happy about in the first place, but at least if i know who is coming i can put them down on the plan and final figures etc.

I nearly lost the head earlier. I text his mam to say ill be ringing her later to talk about it.

Wow. Just wow.

If you're paying for the wedding yourself, they've basically just put their hands in your pocket and spent your money.

Let alone the intrusion, the lack of manners of doing something like that. They've effectively stolen control of something thats not theirs.

Thats so far over the line.

Also, to talk to the venue behind your back? Actually the venue should have had the cop on not to take instruction from anyone but you, or at least alerted you sooner, but really its the parents that are to blame - they've put you in a very awkward position to say the least. You can now either uninvite these people (which I'm sure you don't want to have to do as it airs the dirty laundry) or have a wedding populated by people you don't want there.

I'd go nuts.

andreac

SarahMollie wrote: »

Wow. Just wow.

If you're paying for the wedding yourself, they've basically just put their hands in your pocket and spent your money.

Let alone the intrusion, the lack of manners of doing something like that. They've effectively stolen control of something thats not theirs.

Thats so far over the line.

I know, im livid, i really am. I don't know why they think they can just invite people?? We had to cut the list back when it was finalised as the ceremony room only holds 180, and then they added more people on, and now this that i didn't even know about?? Like what the hell?

They have given us a gift towards the honeymoon and this is why i hate having that kind of tie to someone as you feel awkward getting annoyed with them then. But im ringing her later to explain that you can't just add people on and not tell me?

SarahMollie

andreac wrote: »

I know, im livid, i really am. I don't know why they think they can just invite people?? We had to cut the list back when it was finalised as the ceremony room only holds 180, and then they added more people on, and now this that i didn't even know about?? Like what the hell?

They have given us a gift towards the honeymoon and this is why i hate having that kind of tie to someone as you feel awkward getting annoyed with them then. But im ringing her later to explain that you can't just add people on and not tell me?

I feel for you, and now you've also to be the bad guy who has to put his mother in her place. And none of this situation is of your making. Altogether very unfair.

I hope your OH supports you on this, really he should be the one to have it out with his parents. You shouldn't even be in this position.

How many extras are we talking by the way? Can the venue even cope?

andreac

SarahMollie wrote: »

I feel for you, and now you've also to be the bad guy who has to put his mother in her place. And none of this situation is of your making. Altogether very unfair.

I hope your OH supports you on this, really he should be the one to have it out with his parents. You shouldn't even be in this position.

How many extras are we talking by the way? Can the venue even cope?

It can cope for the meal, but the ceremony room can only hold 180. At the moment we are on 124 yes's and 81 to still reply.
I have told my other half that he needs to tell them to stop inviting people but he says he can't really do that. Well, im just going to have to!!
We already cut it back, then they, yes they added more on and now this? Im fit to scream.

SarahMollie

andreac wrote: »

It can cope for the meal, but the ceremony room can only hold 180. At the moment we are on 124 yes's and 81 to still reply.
I have told my other half that he needs to tell them to stop inviting people but he says he can't really do that. Well, im just going to have to!!
We already cut it back, then they, yes they added more on and now this? Im fit to scream.

Sounds like a cop out to me. Why can't he tell them "no"? He's enabling their unreasonable behavior and undermining his soon to be wife by not just dealing with this himself.

andreac

Its not even so much the inviting that's annoying me, it's the not telling me. His dad has been sick and he feels he can't really tell them not to be inviting people, which i don't mind to a point, but i need to know and be told who "is" being invited for table plans, numbers for hotels etc etc. It's not just a case of turning up on the day. He doesn't get that it doesn't work like that!!

SarahMollie

andreac wrote: »

Its not even so much the inviting that's annoying me, it's the not telling me. His dad has been sick and he feels he can't really tell them not to be inviting people, which i don't mind to a point, but i need to know and be told who "is" being invited for table plans, numbers for hotels etc etc. It's not just a case of turning up on the day. He doesn't get that it doesn't work like that!!

Sure, he doesnt have to lose the rag, but surely he can say "ceremony venue is at capacity, so we can't invite any more people". Also something along the lines of "you need to communicate wiht AndreaC more as she is in charge of the guestlist".

He's really best placed to be having difficult conversations as they're his parents. You're new the the family, you shouldnt have to deal with awkward discussions like that when it could be so easily stopped by him.

The_Stranger

honerbright wrote: »

I want to take my dress in for fitting in the next few weeks but I'm struggling to find a bra to go under it. Have any of you ladies had any luck with a backless bra or preferably a low back bra?
I was in debenhams today and they have the stick on ones and ones with 'wings' on the side but I've never had any luck with them and they definitely wouldn't last the full wedding day and I don't feel like there's any support in them (I would usually be a 34D)
My dress comes down to maybe an inch or so below where the back bra strap would usually be, and I'm in Cork if anyone knows of somewhere in the area to look, but I'd be willing to travel for one. I don't want to buy online because my size varies with bra types, just to be difficult

The back of your dress sounds very similar to mine. I bought this bra from Debenhams and it works perfectly under the dress. Very comfy too!

honerbright

The_Stranger wrote: »

The back of your dress sounds very similar to mine. I bought this bra from Debenhams and it works perfectly under the dress. Very comfy too!

Oh that looks absolutely perfect! I'll have to pop in during the week and hopefully they stock them!

Hazydays123

andreac wrote: »

Im having my first major stress to do with the wedding. Ive discovered that there has been a whole load of people invited to it, by fiances parents, that we knew nothing about!! Only that i got the hotel to email me a copy of the accommodation list i spotted a whole load of people that weren't on our invite list!!! Im absol raging. Like who the hell does that??

Ive told my other half im ringing his parents this evening as this is just not on and they need to give me names and numbers if they are doing this, which, im not even happy about in the first place, but at least if i know who is coming i can put them down on the plan and final figures etc.

I nearly lost the head earlier. I text his mam to say ill be ringing her later to talk about it.

That type of behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud right away. Controlling in-laws get worse not better. You need to establish good boundaries going into the future or you'll have a lifetime of resentment.
Been there, all sorted now thankfully!

LadyE

Andreac I hope you got sorted there last night in the phone call. Tbh I think it's up to your h2b to say it to them but if he feels he can't then he needs to be 100% behind you when you say it to them.

We had the same when we were doing our lists..you have to invite x y z and then people being invited without our say so...when I said it to them about not inviting people I got "they are coming. End of story"...well I literally exploded and went mad (unlike me) and they never did it again. This was my family though, so I appreciate it being easier.

Hoperight...can your dressmaker put loops into the back of the dress to hold the bra down? That's what my dress has because it's low back

ShaShaBear

Good God Andreac, I'd wage war!
My mother did try to interfere a bit at the start about people I was leaving out that I should invite, and my MIL tried to tell us who we couldn't.
Both got told straight out where to go :P

andreac

I didn't ring in the end, as i discovered that they had actually mentioned that they were inviting them to himself, but he hadn't told me. Im still annoyed that all these people are being invited anyway, as they are nothing to do with us!!

At this stage i just need to know the names and numbers so i can organise table plans etc and so we can tell hotel how many are coming.

It's taking all the good out of it at the moment and at 5 weeks to go on Friday im just getting fed up.

ShaShaBear

Well I'll follow in your footsteps Andreac, no such thing as a wedding without drama HUGE bustup on OH's side of the family - good chance I am down a bridesmaid, a best man and his parents. 6 weeks before the wedding :mad:

SarahMollie

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Well I'll follow in your footsteps Andreac, no such thing as a wedding without drama HUGE bustup on OH's side of the family - good chance I am down a bridesmaid, a best man and his parents. 6 weeks before the wedding :mad:

Oh no... so sorry to hear that. Hope its not actually about your wedding?!?

ShaShaBear

SarahMollie wrote: »

Oh no... so sorry to hear that. Hope its not actually about your wedding?!?

Everything bloody but! A lot of very hurtful things were said to my OH about myself, my family and my parenting skills were called into question. Apparently a build-up of "issues" over the past few years (none of which have any basis in fact and some even totally contradictory to one another) that were not discussed as they arose and there is pretty much no going back from what was said. I'm actually considering cancelling the wedding

Hazydays123

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Everything bloody but! A lot of very hurtful things were said to my OH about myself, my family and my parenting skills were called into question. Apparently a build-up of "issues" over the past few years (none of which have any basis in fact and some even totally contradictory to one another) that were not discussed as they arose and there is pretty much no going back from what was said. I'm actually considering cancelling the wedding

You're marrying him not his family though. If you bring it back to what the whole ceremony is supposed to be about, then that's what it comes down to.

If they don't turn up to their son's wedding then they're vindictive and it says more about them than it does about you.

ShaShaBear

Hazydays123 wrote: »

You're marrying him not his family though. If you bring it back to what the whole ceremony is supposed to be about, then that's what it comes down to.

If they don't turn up to their son's wedding then they're vindictive and it says more about them than it does about you.

I don't think they'd have the balls to not show up, but I can't see how we can smile through one of the biggest and most special days of our lives while sharing a table with these people knowing what they think of me. The day has been completely ruined as his entire immediate family is involved in the wedding party and we'll be around them from start to finish. The tension alone will ruin everything, never mind the possibility that things will kick off again.
Still absolutely no idea what caused the outburst.

SarahMollie

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I don't think they'd have the balls to not show up, but I can't see how we can smile through one of the biggest and most special days of our lives while sharing a table with these people knowing what they think of me. The day has been completely ruined as his entire immediate family is involved in the wedding party and we'll be around them from start to finish. The tension alone will ruin everything, never mind the possibility that things will kick off again.
Still absolutely no idea what caused the outburst.

I know its a horrible situation but just try not to make any rash decisions right now. 6 weeks is a long time and you may mellow (although I'm sure you won't forget!)

I just hope your fiancee defended you

andreac

Oh wow Shasha, im so sorry. Isn't it just awful?? People can be just so selfish. Is it jealousy or what that drives people to do this kind of stuff??

Hazydays123

I'd probably politely point out to them that unless they can make their peace with you, it would be pointless for them to attend the ceremony. You only want well wishers.
For all of the reasons that you mentioned above.

ShaShaBear

SarahMollie wrote: »

I know its a horrible situation but just try not to make any rash decisions right now. 6 weeks is a long time and you may mellow (although I'm sure you won't forget!)

I just hope your fiancee defended you

He definitely did. In that sense it was extremely heart-warming to know (despite me never wanting him to fall out with anyone he cares for at my expense) that he put me and the kids first. Made sure to clarify that he believed that everything was untrue (in fairness 50% of what was said he witnessed the events and knew them to be lies) and that his new family was his first priority. I love him all the more for it and you're right, I don't want to make any rash decisions. But I know the day would be marred forever if they didn't go so I'll wait to see how events unfold and if it's looking risky I might reschedule for a registry office at a later date to either give them a chance to reconsider or for me to re-evaluate the plans for the day.

I don't know Andreac, the words I heard were totally contradictory to actions as of late and if that's honestly how they feel, they have been EXTREMELY two-faced to me for about two years. Like I racked my brains all night trying to think of ANYTHING I might have said or done to set them down this path and I came up short. I've told OH's dad that he is the best replacement dad a girl could ever hope for with mine having passed away, so I don't know how he could say the things he said. The mother just didn't make sense at all.
As for not wanting them there, I feel as though I want to protect my partner from that. There are a large number of my own family not going from a similar very serious falling out and if any more people don't go, it will be an utter farce

andreac

Oh gosh that's tough and not what you need this close to the wedding. It's so hard when it's family that are arguing, if it's friends then it's easy enough to cut them off, but family is different and not as easy to sort out.

ShaShaBear

andreac wrote: »

Oh gosh that's tough and not what you need this close to the wedding. It's so hard when it's family that are arguing, if it's friends then it's easy enough to cut them off, but family is different and not as easy to sort out.

Definitely not. Just last week they were offering to help me with two important jobs the day of the wedding to take the strain off me because they know I will have the kids while Im getting ready. Then to tell my OH that I force this kind of stuff on them and they're "stuck" doing it for me... even though he was there when the conversation took place

GingerLily

Whatever about them going - don't let them sit anywhere near you. You can sit the miserable liars in the corner and let them keep their lies and negativity to themselves.

It sounds so horrible, really hope you can find a way to cope.

For my wedding I've got a friend on duty to run interference if the toxic in law approaches me ( I don't think she'll come).

stargazer 68

Picked up the BM dresses yesterday and they are gorgeous. Tiny alterations to be done so getting on that today!

ShaShaBear

Well so far I am down a bridesmaid from the debacle. Now on the hunt for someone else slim enough to fit into the dress :pac:
Now we just have to find out if the Best Man is still going...

GingerLily

Can you not just be one short? Wedding parties are often uneven these days, no one will bat an eyelid.

I hope the bestman sees sense, god, weddings really do bring out the worst in people.

andreac

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Well so far I am down a bridesmaid from the debacle. Now on the hunt for someone else slim enough to fit into the dress :pac:
Now we just have to find out if the Best Man is still going...

Oh no, thought you might have got it sorted out. God, last thing you need now with this short time to go.

ShaShaBear

GingerLily wrote: »

Can you not just be one short? Wedding parties are often uneven these days, no one will bat an eyelid.

I hope the bestman sees sense, god, weddings really do bring out the worst in people.

I wouldn't like to be one short. It means someone isn't dancing during the first dance which would just look odd in my opinion. I did manage to find someone willing to step in, we just need to get them up to speed and hope there are no more hiccups!

andreac wrote: »

Oh no, thought you might have got it sorted out. God, last thing you need now with this short time to go.

I really did myself, considering she is getting married herself next year I thought she would have a marginal understanding of how important this is - but I digress

GingerLily

I've been the odd BM before in a wedding, it wasn't so bad, I was just happy to be there on the day.
But obviously do what's right for you!

irishgirl19

ShaShaBear wrote:

Well so far I am down a bridesmaid from the debacle. Now on the hunt for someone else slim enough to fit into the dress Now we just have to find out if the Best Man is still going...

Shasha Ive seen your posts and in an almost identical situation myself although we are due to be married next year.
I hope you have a great day regardless ,don't let them win. They are only making a show of themselves

Faith

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Well so far I am down a bridesmaid from the debacle. Now on the hunt for someone else slim enough to fit into the dress :pac:
Now we just have to find out if the Best Man is still going...

Jesus, ShaSha, you poor thing!

So, your fiance's brother and sister agreed to be in your wedding party without reservations. But then his family started saying things about you, and on the back on that, the sister has stepped down?! I don't understand that thought process at all! Either she thought those things all along, in which case, why would she agree to be BM, or she doesn't think those things but the family have put her under pressure to step down?!

ShaShaBear

Faith wrote: »

Jesus, ShaSha, you poor thing!

So, your fiance's brother and sister agreed to be in your wedding party without reservations. But then his family started saying things about you, and on the back on that, the sister has stepped down?! I don't understand that thought process at all! Either she thought those things all along, in which case, why would she agree to be BM, or she doesn't think those things but the family have put her under pressure to step down?!

It's very hard to explain without giving the full story, which would make us all far too identifiable but it's incredibly complicated. The stuff that was said doesn't even make sense because my OH was witness to most of the alleged incidents so he didn't even need to ask my side of things :pac:
At this stage I am trying not to let it get to me - I asked another family member who is delighted to stand in and we have someone to ask if the Best Man goes the same way. It's an irreparable situation and my kids will probably suffer the most.

On an unrelated note, managed to get all of the men their shoes for €105 - a bargain considering what the suit shop had!

tea_and_cake

Hi all, I've never had my make up professionally done and I'm getting it done for my wedding. I'm getting married at home but I live in Dublin. Getting make up trials is proving awkward. I can definitely get 1. Are 2 triala really needed? I've seen this girls work and it's lovely and a very good friend swears by her.

shortstuff!

Tea & cake, I think 1 trial is the standard. I got my MUA to do my makeup for a wedding I was attending just to make sure she was a good fit for me & then I'm having a proper trial closer to the wedding (when it would be a bit late to look for someone else if it was a disaster). Any quotes I got only mentioned 1 trial. I did the same with hair. Hope that helps:)

Allers

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone is planning on tipping their suppliers or is this customary for a wedding? Thanks!

stargazer 68

Allers wrote: »

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone is planning on tipping their suppliers or is this customary for a wedding? Thanks!

no - wouldnt have thought it necessary. I wont be anyway

ShaShaBear

Allers wrote: »

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone is planning on tipping their suppliers or is this customary for a wedding? Thanks!

I won't be! I'm pretty sure the price they quote is a profit based on how much they think they deserve for their work. I don't think they need any extra

Princess Peach

What about at the hotel? Do couples usually leave a tip for the wait staff/ bar workers?

tea_and_cake

shortstuff! wrote: »

Tea & cake, I think 1 trial is the standard. I got my MUA to do my makeup for a wedding I was attending just to make sure she was a good fit for me & then I'm having a proper trial closer to the wedding (when it would be a bit late to look for someone else if it was a disaster). Any quotes I got only mentioned 1 trial. I did the same with hair. Hope that helps:)

Fab, thanks a million. just a bit panicked. Was looking at invites and found that very stressful

Allers wrote: »

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone is planning on tipping their suppliers or is this customary for a wedding? Thanks!

I hadn't planned it, I may tip bar/waiting staff but that's it.

The_Stranger

OMG! This day next week will be my wedding day!