Tips on helping a toddler adjust to a new baby

Kash

Hello fellow parents! I'm due my second child in about 6 weeks time, and though I'm doing what I can to explain to my 2 and a half year old that she will be a big sister soon, I know she really has no concept of how things will be.

She is a very happy, well adjusted little girl, very outgoing and is used to other children from her crèche, and also used to other demands on our time from our pets etc.

As you can imagine, I want to do everything I can to make it as painless as possible for everyone, so I'm hoping to get some tips, ideas or advice from people who have done it before!

December2012

I used the book "there's a house inside my mummy" to explain to my toddler about being pregnant.

And I've seen story books now that are all about becoming a big sister or big brother.

monflat

Hey
I too went to library after a little chat with older girl I said let's get some books.
It may help better if you ring ahead and ask them to get them. ready for you. There was about 6 to choose from in my library and my little ones chose ones they liked I read every night before bed for about 2 weeks before baby due.

I wouldn't do any earlier unless your baby arrives earlier as they will be thinking that the baby will never arrive!!
Talk to her too about all the equipment that a baby may need etc.

Good luck!

Suucee

I have a 23 mnth gap so my lady was younger.
I just kept telling her there was a baby brother in mammys belly and he's going to come home and live with us and bring a present for his big sister A.
I had loads of baby stuff around the house from about a month before i was due.
The Bouncer, steriliser, cot ready, moses basket in our room ready, showed her babies clothes etc.
When i was nearly due i brought her to buy him a present and got him a sleepytot bunny (she has one also in a different colour)
When she came in to the hospital i made sure i wasnt holding him.
I picked her up (didnt have a section) gave her a hug and talked to her for a few minutes.
I then showed her her new brother (she didnt want to know him)
I got out the gift she got for him and she helped put it in the bassinet thing .
We then took out her present and told her he got her a present. She was delighted and spent the rest of her time playing with it.
It was a doll with bottle/soother etc. so she could feed her baby while i fed her brother.
For first week she was a little off, a little jealous. But OH was off work also. When he went back to work she relaxed a bit more. then less than 2 weeks after he was born it was like he was never not there. We got in to a routine and now 9 months later she loves the bones of him.

Moonbeam

My 2nd child tried to give my 3rd child away to any visitors that came for the 1st week weeks:) she was nearly 2.
Let them feel included and get them to do little jobs and feel important.
We also got a little present from baby to them and let them buy a little present for baby.
I have 2 24 month gaps and 1 15 month one.

December2012

Also you could remind visitors to also give your toddler attention when they come to visit. Maybe even bring buttons or a lolly for her. And to talk to her about her news, such as what she had for breakfast, the new toy she got from the baby, that she's giving you lovely cuddles, and that she has a new brother/sister (as opposed to you having a new baby).

If you do have a difficult recovery it might help to blame something generic like a bad back instead of the delivery of the baby.

I had a section and told my girl that my back was sore, but would get better.

Also feeding time was a great time for toddler cuddles too, playing with tea sets, reading stories side by side.

pwurple

Congrats, how exciting! My eldest was about the same age when new baby arrived. Honestly it was a piece of cake, despite my worries. She absolutely doted on her from the very first day. I had to remind her about being gentle, but she is so proud of being the Big Sister of the family.

Involve her as much as you can is what I would say makes a big difference. I don't think they need presents from visitors or anything, but for nappy changes, get her to hand you the wipes.. When visitors come she can be in charge of biscuits for people, or in charge of telling them the babies name. When baby needs a nap, say things like "oh our baby looks tired, let's be quiet so the baby can sleep", involving her in the decision.

If you have a doll for your eldest, this is going to come into its own as well. Baby annabell is a good size for that age. My daughter had no clue what to do with a doll before the new baby arrived. She used to kick it about like a football, or crash her train into it. But once the baby came along, the doll was used to copy everything I did. Doll was up on her shoulder getting winded, getting tucked in for naps, etc.

Kash

Wow, you peeps are fab - some fantastic ideas there (not to mention a lot of reassurance!)

I had planned on getting her a pressie from her baby brother, but never thought about her getting one for him - and she loves giving presents. And she got a Baby Annabell over Christmas in the hopes that she would mimic me, so delighted to hear that that has worked for others!

Now to check out the books

December2012

http://http://www.easons.com/p-3461310-i.aspx

Here's one from Easons. Never used this book, but I did use the Princess Polly toilet story book.

ariana`

The tips here are great but just to add to them if you can try to make some 1-to-1 time for you and your toddler. It's not easy but even 10-15mins daily cuddling and reading together while the baby is asleep or being looked after by someone else in another room (so you're not interrupted/distracted) or even a little outting to the shop together without the baby if/when you can manage it. And try to keep this up and make it part of your rourtine if you can as it's important not just for the early weeks although easier said than done sometimes.

sillysocks

My little girl was also 2 and a half when our little boy arrived. She always had loads of family attention as she was our only child, the only grandchild on both sides etc so we were a bit worried at how she'd react but she was great from day one. Even now, 2 years later, whenever she sees babies she just dotes on them.

We had books like others recommended, read through them first tho, there was one we got that basically said the parents would be too busy to play or talk to the toddler anymore but at least she'd have a new baby in the house! It was terrible.

The time alone with her after the baby was born was definitely important too, just a trip to a local cafe etc.

I think it really helped us too that the new arrival was a boy so didn't take over her territory too much! She might not have been quite so happy with a girl 😀

Kash

December2012 wrote: »

http://http://www.easons.com/p-3461310-i.aspx

Here's one from Easons. Never used this book, but I did use the Princess Polly toilet story book.

I grabbed this one, and the house in mummy's tummy one from Amazon today, so at least she'll have more of an idea of what's happening. I've had a rough pregnancy, so I think she'll be excited to see some fun sides to it - she loves reading with her mummy

December2012

Ah brilliant! At least it explains in a kind of a kiddy code what's going on - Mammy is asleep all the time because growing the baby is tiring, the baby can make some loud noises but its just because they want to be fed, etc.

Also, if your girl is anything like my one, she will LOVE seeing her baby pictures all over the place. We have a scrolling display on our computer so I set a few old baby albums to come on as the screen saver and she loved watching it.

uck51js9zml2yt

One thing we did was to bring our eldest (he was 3) into the hospital so that he was bringing home a new brother rather than having this little guy invade HIS home.

We also got a present which the baby gave to him at the hospital...he spent a few hours running his new motorbike over the floor of the ward in the Rotunda

With my wife busy with the baby (now 13 months) I try and spend time with him and bring him out for lunch or to the park etc. The big thing is not to let him feel pushed out by the baby.