Requesting guest specific gift.

tinkerbell

Frynge wrote: »

Also I will be going to a wedding next year or the year after and I have the gift already sorted. My friend loaned me the complete box set of stargate SG-1, I think in 2006 and I still haven't returned it to him so they will all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him.

I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.

Ummmm .... Ok

Do you not think that this is an incredibly stupid idea? Your friend is never gonna check those boxes of Stargate. In fact they might have another friend who wants the loan of them and so just hand them over or they might just sell it and then someone else has all the money. In the meantime your friend thinks you're a miserable stinge for not giving them any gift at all!!

Agent Smyth

MistyCheese wrote: »

Which should prove that it's really not about the money. It just rubs some people up the wrong way when people ask for a gift. Or specify a gift. Even in situations where gifts are traditionally given, such as a wedding or a kids birthday party.

I think this hits the nail on the head.

we all know that the tradition is to give a gift and most of us have no problem with this but when asked/told/informed about said gift, we feel the goodwill has been taken from our decision and are been forced into giving a gift

Toots

pooch90 wrote: »

I've seen it linked on another forum already! Is it only on FB/Twitter that it would be shut down?

Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.

pooch90

Oh no!
I can PM the poster on the other site and ask them to remove link if you want?
Be a tragedy not to see how this pans out!

ShazGV

Fingers crossed that doesn't happen any time soon!

Sligo1

Toots wrote: »

Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.

Although I really want to know what happens here. I think id actually prefer the couple found out about this thread and read it! Then they might actually see what complete twats they are being and what people think of them and their list.

Having said that tho I wouldn't be surprised if this thread even phased them in the slightest. Let alone get them to think twice about how greedy, self absorbed and entitled they are being...

MistyCheese

Poor Toots, I bet when you hear a poster say they want to be a mod you laugh your ass off!

Toots

MistyCheese wrote: »

Poor Toots, I bet when you hear a poster say they want to be a mod you laugh your ass off!

Lol! Actually I do enjoy being a mod. Ok there's the inevitable run ins with dickheads of varying degrees, but for the most part the posters that I'd interact with are lovely! I think I'm lucky with the forums I mod though, they're both well behaved compared to what some of the other mods have to deal with!!

Lau2976

Toots wrote: »

Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.

I'm happy to keep it open

Arbiter of Good Taste

Frynge wrote: »

I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.

Please do not do this. There is so much that can go wrong. It is a very bad plan.

kandr10

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Please do not do this. There is so much that can go wrong. It is a very bad plan.

I think it's funny. Got a similar wedding present. One we talk and laugh about all the time.

fits

I would just find that annoying...

Malari

kandr10 wrote: »

I think it's funny. Got a similar wedding present. One we talk and laugh about all the time.

It can only be funny if they eventually find out about it though! Before they get rid of the DVDs .

seventeen sheep

Frynge wrote: »

Also I will be going to a wedding next year or the year after and I have the gift already sorted. My friend loaned me the complete box set of stargate SG-1, I think in 2006 and I still haven't returned it to him so they will all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him.

I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.

Yeah ... see the thing with the team giving their mate toasters was funny, a) because of the whole joke about getting several toasters as wedding presents, b) because in fairness there was probably a decent sum (more than a fiver!) in each one.

Would you not just give the guy back his box set now? And give him an actual decent present when the time comes (if you want to, and if you can afford to.)

Rather than make him dig through all fifty DVD cases for a fiver for each, when you should have returned it long ago anyways. Maybe I'm missing the joke here ...

I just don't think you're being in any way funny or clever or nice.

gingerhousewife

Frynge, I think that present would be hilarious. Obviously, judging by other posts, it wouldn't be to everyone's taste but you know your friend and you know his sense of humour. I say go for it!

dee_mc

gingerhousewife wrote: »

Frynge, I think that present would be hilarious. Obviously, judging by other posts, it wouldn't be to everyone's taste but you know your friend and you know his sense of humour. I say go for it!

I thought the same - if it was me, I'd say nothing for a few days, then say something that would lead to them opening one of the cases and finding the money. I can't imagine anyone being annoyed to have to open a few cases to find cash!

kandr10

dee_mc wrote: »

I thought the same - if it was me, I'd say nothing for a few days, then say something that would lead to them opening one of the cases and finding the money. I can't imagine anyone being annoyed to have to open a few cases to find cash!

Agreed! It gets funnier the more you have to open. If you have a sense of humour that is if not just give the obligatory amount in a card like everyone else!

Flippyfloppy

Hmmm, I just can't believe you're not planning to give this 'friend' back something they loaned you (circa2006) for another year or two.

Frynge

After taking on board some of the criticism of my idea I have refined it some what. I will tell him in the card that there is a €100 note in one of the boxes and make him work for his present.

Also we will be getting him and the wife a one off art piece from a friend of mine who he does not know.

I know he will see the funny side of it and I also know he won't be long giving out about it.


Just to let everyone know that when he gave us our wedding present it was all in fivers and had €1 coins Sellotaped onto the back of the card.

Frynge

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

Hmmm, I just can't believe you're not planning to give this 'friend' back something they loaned you (circa2006) for another year or two.

Just to be clear he has never really looked for them back. He asked me a couple of year ago if I still had and I told him to call over the next day get them, he said he would do it some other day. I.e. Probably never.

I'm really just doin it to get rid of them from the closet in the spare room.

Frynge

Just checked that the box sets were still there and discovered Atlantis is there aswell, this May cost me a lot of money.

Pistachios & cream

I think it's a great idea. Maybe put a a treasure hunt reference in the card to give them the idea that the present has to be found!

desertcircus

Rainbow_Bright wrote: »

Hopefully I'm not taking this thread in too different a direction but it seems that this attitude has also been affecting children's birthday parties in the UK:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2940717/Myleene-Klass-hits-bonkers-email-school-mothers.html

Given that Myleene Klass is the source, it's quite possibly a complete fiction.

ToTriOrNot

I didn't have a traditional wedding, couldn't cope with organising two families in different countries, the expense..etc etc. I only got married because my now husband wouldn't have kids until we were married!!! But, we still cash from some family members after they found out what we had done. We thanked everyone, I was not expecting it (its not the done think where I am from, neither is sending thank you cards, but I did, along with some pics of the day) It was just me and husband, with his sister and them partner as witnesses.
Traditions are very different in different countries. I don't think it's rude to suggest gifts , but I can see it is in Ireland...
I know for my daughters birthday last year, (her birthday is the day after xmas, so you can imagine how allergic I am to her getting toys for that!!) , I suggested to people in the invitations that presents were not requested, but if they felt they had to give one, a €5 would suffice. I think most people appreciated it, but still didn't comply and put €10 or even more!! I think it was appreciated it not having to buy a present (we all know how difficult it is to buy a gift for a child with a small budge of maybe 10 or 15 euros!) We used that money to buy her a kindle, and she knows it was bought from the money her friends gave her...this year we didn't do it, thinking people might have gotten the hint, but now, lots of rubish-y small gifts after xmas....some are already in the bin, have not seen the playroom!!! I like when other parents ask me what to get her, and when they listen (his family don't listen usually but they are coming around to the idea of listening to my "suggestions") The best gift she got this year was a voucher for the cinema. so i will be adapting that myself. That child got recently a book voucher, and I know the mum appreciated it (I asked before) When my sister was younger, they got into the habit of inviting the whole class (I thankfully not doing that!) , and my mum and the other mums used to get together and bought good clothes for the kids having a party (after consulting with the mum) ...this started to happen after my sister got 20 barbies on one of her birthdays (also very close to xmas!!!)

skallywag

JayRoc wrote: »

I had to invite several people without inviting their partners. It was a case of what I could afford. Don't think anyone minded, they understood. Especially if I barely knew their other half, or had NEVER met them.

I've never heard the likes of this before. How many people are we talking here that were not invited?

skallywag

gingerhousewife wrote: »

Frynge, I think that present would be hilarious. Obviously, judging by other posts, it wouldn't be to everyone's taste but you know your friend and you know his sense of humour. I say go for it!

+1 from me. I honestly don't see what others are moaning about, they will obviously look in the boxes if it's his own boxset which is being returned anyway in the first place. Putting a 5er in each will result in ca 250 Euro, yet some still seem to be moaning that they would have to go to the trouble of opening each one?!

Gatica

It depends on your friend's type of humour. I don't think most people would bother opening the box-set when they get it back, unless they don't trust you and wanna be sure you actually returned the discs inside.

It's very generous giving 250 Euro in all those box-sets, but unless it's an in-joke between ye, I don't see the point in making a couple "earn" their gift... that's something that sounds more like a dare, and if you do it, you'll get a reward. So really depends on the circumstance.

From what Frynge said, sounds like their friends are the type to like that craic anyway.

ToTriOrNot wrote: »

I suggested to people in the invitations that presents were not requested, but if they felt they had to give one, a €5 would suffice. I think most people appreciated it, but still didn't comply and put €10 or even more!! I think it was appreciated it not having to buy a present (we all know how difficult it is to buy a gift for a child with a small budge of maybe 10 or 15 euros!) We used that money to buy her a kindle, and she knows it was bought from the money her friends gave her...this year we didn't do it, thinking people might have gotten the hint, but now, lots of rubish-y small gifts after xmas....some are already in the bin, have not seen the playroom!!! I like when other parents ask me what to get her, and when they listen (his family don't listen usually but they are coming around to the idea of listening to my "suggestions")

Sorry, I don't know what culture you come from, but to me it really doesn't sound very gracious to be calling gifts someone went to the trouble of getting your daughter "rubish-y", especially if it's known that people try to stick to an amount of 5-10. Sure they might fall apart quick, but one would hope that she'd at least enjoy the time she did have to play with them.

ToTriOrNot wrote: »

The best gift she got this year was a voucher for the cinema. so i will be adapting that myself. That child got recently a book voucher, and I know the mum appreciated it (I asked before) When my sister was younger, they got into the habit of inviting the whole class (I thankfully not doing that!) , and my mum and the other mums used to get together and bought good clothes for the kids having a party (after consulting with the mum) ...this started to happen after my sister got 20 barbies on one of her birthdays (also very close to xmas!!!)

It's great that you're considerate enough yourself to try to get gifts for others that they'd like and ask them, but I don't believe that entitles one to specify what one should get - at least not without being asked.

ToTriOrNot

Gatica wrote: »

Sorry, I don't know what culture you come from, but to me it really doesn't sound very gracious to be calling gifts someone went to the trouble of getting your daughter "rubish-y", especially if it's known that people try to stick to an amount of 5-10. Sure they might fall apart quick, but one would hope that she'd at least enjoy the time she did have to play with them.




It's great that you're considerate enough yourself to try to get gifts for others that they'd like and ask them, but I don't believe that entitles one to specify what one should get - at least not without being asked.

Maybe I didn't put it very well. I don't want people to go into trouble to get my daughter a present, that's why I offer suggestions. Everyone is busy, and at least for me, everytime I see a party invitation I dread it as I have to find time to go and buy a present...
We have someone in the family, (which we are very grateful that he thinks of us and send presents for my daughters), There is only so many colouring books and colouring pens (last ones we got, had to go to the bin, the smell was toxic, and I hate waste..so felt bad about it) one can have...i could open a shop with all the stuff being sent. Isn't it easier if for kids birthdays is agreed to stick a €5 in the card, so that child can go to the shop and get something they like? When I buy a present for a child, I think if I would like my kid to receive the present....hence why I think it's great parents asking or even suggesting what to get...makes life so much easier... But I get it, it's not for everyone.

Sorry for going off top here.

Wabbit Ears

MY kids love every present they get and love opening presents. The value of a single more expensive present is an adult concept being inflicted on a child.

The actual present don't matter, its their joy on opening and receiving lots of individual gifts from their friends.

ronjo

ToTriOrNot wrote: »

Maybe I didn't put it very well. I don't want people to go into trouble to get my daughter a present, that's why I offer suggestions. Everyone is busy, and at least for me, everytime I see a party invitation I dread it as I have to find time to go and buy a present...
We have someone in the family, (which we are very grateful that he thinks of us and send presents for my daughters), There is only so many colouring books and colouring pens (last ones we got, had to go to the bin, the smell was toxic, and I hate waste..so felt bad about it) one can have...i could open a shop with all the stuff being sent. Isn't it easier if for kids birthdays is agreed to stick a €5 in the card, so that child can go to the shop and get something they like? When I buy a present for a child, I think if I would like my kid to receive the present....hence why I think it's great parents asking or even suggesting what to get...makes life so much easier... But I get it, it's not for everyone.

Sorry for going off top here.

Other than the ones that smelt toxic perhaps you could donate the extra gifts to charity instead of chucking them in the bin.
Maybe some other kids might appreciate them.

Malari

^^

XxMCRxBabyxX

Malari wrote: »

^^

I'm presuming that that was meant for the SiL refusing to stay in the house if the pets/"filthy animals " are there thread?

Ken.

My bad, wrong thread. Deleted and moved to proper one.

XxMCRxBabyxX

ken wrote: »

My bad, wrong thread. Deleted and moved to proper one.

Don't worry, they're my top two go to threads too!

Malari

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I'm presuming that that was meant for the SiL refusing to stay in the house if the pets/"filthy animals " are there thread?

In an entirely different forum :pac:

Arbiter of Good Taste

skallywag wrote: »

+1 from me. I honestly don't see what others are moaning about, they will obviously look in the boxes if it's his own boxset which is being returned anyway in the first place. Putting a 5er in each will result in ca 250 Euro, yet some still seem to be moaning that they would have to go to the trouble of opening each one?!

When I loan something to someone, I don't do a thorough investigation when I get it back. Why would I? It normally gets put back on the shelf and forgotten about. If it's a DVD boxset that I have already watched, it may never be opened again.

skallywag

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

When I loan something to someone, I don't do a thorough investigation when I get it back. Why would I?

... 'all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him' ...

If a boxset was returned to you in a 'wrapped up in the one box' state would you not be just a tad curious and perhaps investigate further?

I don't think it was fair of myleen k to tweet that email
It does say you can do your own thing or nothing at all and that's fine

Neyite

bluewolf wrote: »

I don't think it was fair of myleen k to tweet that email
It does say you can do your own thing or nothing at all and that's fine

And it was a year ago! I reckon she did it for attention because the woman who invoiced for the 5yo birthday went viral.

Wat? Are you saying it happened a year ago and she only tweeted it now?

Oryx

bluewolf wrote: »

Wat? Are you saying it happened a year ago and she only tweeted it now?

Myleene NoKlass, in that case.

kandr10

skallywag wrote: »

... 'all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him' ...

If a boxset was returned to you in a 'wrapped up in the one box' state would you not be just a tad curious and perhaps investigate further?

I'd have to agree. If it's wrapped up you'd defo check it out. You could have the first fiver sticking out as a clue if you really thought it necessary. I'm sure if he just put it away and you said it to him a few days after it's still be funny!

Tarzana2

bluewolf wrote: »

I don't think it was fair of myleen k to tweet that email
It does say you can do your own thing or nothing at all and that's fine

Myleene Klass is a shockin' attention seeker though. And never passes up an opportunity to give parenting advice. Nobody else has ever had a kid, ya see.

Frynge

As soon as the invite comes trough the door I will make sure to set a reminder to update here on how he took it.

nosietoes

I think it's a hilarious idea Frynge. I would really appreciate it if I was your friend! And if someone and borrowed my DVDs for that long you bet I'd check at least a few of them to make sure that they were actually there and not scratched and sticky. But maybe myself and my OH have a different relationship with our DVDs.:D

Cork 1980

Meangadh wrote: »

Now the couple in this thread on the other hand... surely we can all agree that they're completely nutso???!

In complete agreement here. Dying for the post wedding day update by the op

Purple Mountain

DrPhilG wrote: »

We were given direct instructions by a family member about what to get them for a wedding present. Not too expensive, think it was about €160.

Imagine my amusement when our turn came around and they gave us diddly squat...

The funkers...

messrs

OP - Saw this and thought of you! :P

http://www.groupon.ie/deals/national-deals/gg-groupon-goods-global-gmb-h-952-116/56194670?p=1&nlp=&CID=IE_CRM_1_0_0_41&a=1676&utm_source=channel_goods&utm_medium=email&sid=00e8b247-a9c7-47fa-a9da-045c3d5eab2e&division=national-deals&uh=1f1ad52f-662b-43d2-9386-39ca8143f093&date=20151002&sender=rm&s=body&c=deal_button&d=deal-page&utm_campaign=gg-groupon-goods-global-gmb-h-952-116-56194670

Arbiter of Good Taste

messrs wrote: »

OP - Saw this and thought of you! :P

http://www.groupon.ie/deals/national-deals/gg-groupon-goods-global-gmb-h-952-116/56194670?p=1&nlp=&CID=IE_CRM_1_0_0_41&a=1676&utm_source=channel_goods&utm_medium=email&sid=00e8b247-a9c7-47fa-a9da-045c3d5eab2e&division=national-deals&uh=1f1ad52f-662b-43d2-9386-39ca8143f093&date=20151002&sender=rm&s=body&c=deal_button&d=deal-page&utm_campaign=gg-groupon-goods-global-gmb-h-952-116-56194670

Blimey! I'd buy that for myself, except my husband would kill me for bringing more stuff into the house!

cofy

messrs that is far too good to give to these people, it has a 5 litre bowl and enough power to run a good sized bowl. It is a very good deal. If I were to get these people a mixer I would make sure that the bowl was far too small for it to be useful.