Requesting guest specific gift.

Stheno

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Does she mean the mixer or the portrait?

The mixer I imagine given that ops mother said there would be no portrait?

tinkerbell

OP, what did you say when she asked of you were still giving ye gift?!!????!!! I can't believe you left out this major piece of information!!! :pac:

pooch90

I feel so sorry for you OP. I know most of the posts are saying what a cow the bride is etc but you must feel so unappreciated and used. Once my anger had faded, i would probably be really upset. I hope nobody bows down to their crass demands and stays at home. I wouldn't even give them a bag of sh*** as a present at this point.

ABajaninCork

Blimey cubed! :eek: More front than Brighton...

Lau2976

I outrightly said no before going into a coughing fit and needing to leave to get sick. Bleh! Although it was convenient for once!

I am really upset. I work hard at what I do and to have someone who has known me my entire life, and has seen me struggle to do what I love, think so lowly of my work was upsetting and insulting. I may not regard her as a friend but I would hope she would understand the difficulty of what I do after seeing it in the past.

Teyla Emmagan

Lau2976 wrote: »

I outrightly said no before going into a coughing fit and needing to leave to get sick. Bleh! Although it was convenient for once!

I am really upset. I work hard at what I do and to have someone who has known me my entire life, and has seen me struggle to do what I love, think so lowly of my work was upsetting and insulting. I may not regard her as a friend but I would hope she would understand the difficulty of what I do after seeing it in the past.

Some people are very blinkered, and can't see past the nose on their own face. You friend sounds utterly self obsessed. Sorry that you have found out this way, but see it as her problem and no reflection on yourself. The fact she has no appreciation for your talent does not mean anything, clearly many other people do. And as for seeing things from your perspective, she is (very clearly) lacking in empathy. Let the silly cow off, it's her loss.

marialouise

Sorry you're upset, I work in a similar field and it's terrible when people undervalue your work because you do what you love! Yes we love it but this is our job, would she go into work for the day (/week) for €35? She totally insulted you and I'm so happy you said no straight out! Good on ya!

Did she seem to realise, when you said no, that it was because if their behaviour, or does she think it's something else?!

stinkle

Is your mam invited, op? If so, what gift was chosen for her to splash out on?

carltonleon

stinkle wrote: »

Is your mam invited, op? If so, what gift was chosen for her to splash out on?

A Kitchen Aid Mixer !!!

DM addict

Lau2976 wrote: »

I outrightly said no before going into a coughing fit and needing to leave to get sick. Bleh! Although it was convenient for once!

I am really upset. I work hard at what I do and to have someone who has known me my entire life, and has seen me struggle to do what I love, think so lowly of my work was upsetting and insulting. I may not regard her as a friend but I would hope she would understand the difficulty of what I do after seeing it in the past.

Lau, you have every right to be upset and angry. What's been asked - or rather, demanded! - of you and others is totally unreasonable. Thankfully the bride is not a close friend, so try not to waste much more time thinking about it.

Saying that, I also kinda want you to go and do recon at the wedding for the amusement of those of us desperately wondering how this will turn out

Ken.

Thank god your a portrait painter and not a house builder.

lulu1

They would be getting no stand mixer of me. I wouldn't call them friends if they asked for something as expensive as that.
And another thing if you haven't your portrait already started I wouldn't bother with it. They will have no value on it

honey79

I have been following this and reading the updates with shock

what I find hard to understand is that none of her family or close friends have told her that this is not appropriate behaviour
I would never dream of doing what she did but I know if I did my family would tell me I was wrong to do this
so I can only think her family must be the same type of people not seeing anything wrong with this

she will end up with a very small wedding with only people that feel they have to go going
most people will make excuses and not go rather then speak up like you did good on you OP

Tarzana2

Larianne wrote: »

How about a portrait with them both sitting in the mixer...
...with the machine turned on....
....blood and guts flying everywhere!

It'd be like a Francis Bacon painting - I'd LOVE to get that as a gift! :pac:

Tarzana2

Lau2976 wrote: »

Anyway she visited with her mother yesterday. I hadn't even realised until I went down to get some more painkillers and they were sitting in the kitchen drinking tea talking about the whole thing.

I'm confused. Who was at your mother's house? The bride's mother or the bride herself? Were you talking to the bride directly?

Tarzana2

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Blimey cubed! :eek: More front than Brighton...

LOL!

Tarzana2

Lau2976 wrote: »

I am really upset. I work hard at what I do and to have someone who has known me my entire life, and has seen me struggle to do what I love, think so lowly of my work was upsetting and insulting. I may not regard her as a friend but I would hope she would understand the difficulty of what I do after seeing it in the past.

I also can't believe that the bride-to-be is assessing people's financial situations (as if she has a clue) and asking for gifts based on her conclusions! :eek:

Lau2976

It was the bride and her mother. I do feel sorry for her mother to an extent. The poor women looked mortified but she's always been the type of mother to pander to her daughter.

My own mother was asked to contribute to a honeymoon fund. She valued my parents under me! She's asking for 175 because their "old family friends". As far as I'm aware my mam is planning to attend as she was going to give about that anyway (the brides mother has always been close and wouldn't bat an eyelid at handing over this amount to one of us on our wedding day) so I'll still get all the gossip from her! My mam is only attending for the girls mother though.

They invited around 160 I think. As of yesterday about half had declined.

Eeden

Your mother was asked to "contribute to the honeymoon fund"? This gets more and more unbelievable. This is in lieu of a gift, right? :eek:

ABajaninCork

Oh dear, what a shame, never mind. The lovely couple are so stupid, they'll see the declines as a way of saving money, whilst still getting their requested gifts (they think!)

OMG, I love this forum!!

I'm not married and don't have any intention of doing so but I am never going to stop reading this forum.
People be crazy when they are getting married!!

OP, seriously though, the cheek of them! She's actually supposed to be your friend? I would get them absolutely nothing & I'd tell them if they want a portrait they can pay the same as anyone else.
I cannot believe the cheek of some people.

I really hope the guy they asked to make the cake isn't going to, hope he isn't buying a bike for their kid either!!!!

marialouise

:O half declined!!!!!!!!!
I really am starting to feel sorry for them now, this is NOT what a wedding is supposed to be about at ALL

honey79

I'm the same I read a post in another forum someone saying if you need cheering up go read the threads in the wedding forum I wouldn't have believed half of these things go on only I'm reading them myself

bubblypop wrote: »

OMG, I love this forum!!

I'm not married and don't have any intention of doing so but I am never going to stop reading this forum.
People be crazy when they are getting married!!

OP, seriously though, the cheek of them! She's actually supposed to be your friend? I would get them absolutely nothing & I'd tell them if they want a portrait they can pay the same as anyone else.
I cannot believe the cheek of some people.

I really hope the guy they asked to make the cake isn't going to, hope he isn't buying a bike for their kid either!!!!

cofy

Lau2976 wrote: »

It was the bride and her mother. I do feel sorry for her mother to an extent. The poor women looked mortified but she's always been the type of mother to pander to her daughter.

Sounds like someone I know quite well, we (her own son and I) were shocked to realise that the apple did not fall far from the tree and it was the mother who was egging the daughter on, while all the time getting sympathy from all the relations, neighbours and friends. Beware.

Tarzana2

Lau2976 wrote: »

The poor women looked mortified but she's always been the type of mother to pander to her daughter.

I'm guessing this has contributed to the current problem. :-/

Tarzana2

Lau2976 wrote: »

They invited around 160 I think. As of yesterday about half had declined.

How do they feel about the decline rate?

Aubrey loves Joe

Let's hope they doesn't breed

Oryx

I love the bit about the 'old family friend' being charged less. That about says where they are coming from. Fleece the ones you don't give a s*** about.

These people won't have a friend left after this.

tinkerbell

marialouise wrote: »

:O half declined!!!!!!!!!
I really am starting to feel sorry for them now, this is NOT what a wedding is supposed to be about at ALL

Do not feel sorry for those selfish ignorant twats! They know exactly what they are doing. I hope those miserable gits get a 90% decline rate. They don't deserve people going to the trouble of attending their wedding after treating their guests like crap.

marialouise

tinkerbell wrote: »

Do not feel sorry for those selfish ignorant twats! They know exactly what they are doing. I hope those miserable gits get a 90% decline rate. They don't deserve people going to the trouble of attending their wedding after treating their guests like crap.

Well I mean for me personally, a wedding is about the marriage part itself, celebrated in a way in a way that's important to you, surrounded by people you love (3 people or 300 people) who want to celebrate such a special occasion.
I just want my ideal wedding (not engaged but long time lurker on the wedding forum) to be about getting married and throwing a party with all my favourite people together in one place, which from years of reading wedding forums, is pretty much what everybody else wants, whether it's a big party or dinner for six at home or abroad.

It is sad to me that for anyone, the wedding would revolve so much around materialism, at the cost of relationships. I kind of understand the odd person who, struggling to pay the last of the suppliers, hopes there'll be a bit of cash in a few envelopes.
I do not understand these people who seem to view the wedding a present giving festival, and it actually make my heart sink that someone of her age could value presents over the presence of loved ones, or acquaintances, I have never known anyone this greedy in all my life and I feel sorry that the OP has these people in her life. I can't believe people like this actually exist, it's like the stuff from the stingy thread in After Hours!

But don't you think, after all the planning/scheming, that they will be a bit disappointed? 160 is a big enough wedding. I know declines are expected, but 80 is what a significantly smaller wedding and will have a totally different vibe. Maybe that's what they want but I doubt they expected 50% to decline. Imagine that happening to you, you'd be devastated!

Just thinking of their future, they'll be surrounded by stand mixers, bikes, and home stuff from Argos, and won't have a friend left in the world to invite over or to cook for. This is the path they are going down, but I don't know if they actually do know exactly what they're doing, as you say. Do you? (That's not supposed to sound accusatory, I really don't know)!

Feck it, maybe they'll have a blast with 80 of their richest friends and live happily ever after.

honey79

honey79 wrote: »

I'm the same I read a post in another forum someone saying if you need cheering up go read the threads in the wedding forum I wouldn't have believed half of these things go on only I'm reading them myself

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

Beaner1

Deleted User wrote: »

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

Some people really have no perception about how little the world cares about them. Your wedding day is special to you and pretty much no one else.

whatlliwear

I NEED to read the 2 threads people keep mentioning- the 1 where guests had to pay for the meal and 1 other similar sounding 1..

Frynge

whatlliwear wrote: »

I NEED to read the 2 threads people keep mentioning- the 1 where guests had to pay for the meal and 1 other similar sounding 1..

Please someone link those treads. The bride in this tread has the social etiquette of a toilet brush.

Meangadh

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

FFS. Why the hell would you want to go to that? Jesus at the best of times it can be a bit of a drag going to weddings of people you actually know, never mind two complete strangers. And two complete deluded strangers at that. I agree completely that couples often have no idea how indifferent people are about their wedding. I mean they'd be happy for them and all, but how you choose to celebrate the day means next to nothing to others, apart from maybe immediate family and friends.

Just like the couple in this thread. A completely over inflated sense of importance. And totally ignorant of the reasons behind marriage. I would never ever want to be friends with anyone like that. God imagine when they have kids how insufferable they would probably turn out to be? Sure what chance would they have with those two?

marialouise

Meangadh wrote: »

God imagine when they have kids how insufferable they would probably turn out to be? Sure what chance would they have with those two?

They've already got one, and he's getting a bike for the wedding :rolleyes:

LynnGrace

Deleted User wrote: »

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

Where do I bid? :pac:

Meangadh

marialouise wrote: »

They've already got one, and he's getting a bike for the wedding :rolleyes:

Oh yeah I forgot that part. Good Lord.

pooch90

So at present they have about 80 that are attending or yet to decline. Let's hope their venue has minimum numbers of 120 and the meal is €80 a head but they're such tight gits it's probably crisps and peanuts from the bar.

LynnGrace

Lau2976 wrote: »

It was the bride and her mother. I do feel sorry for her mother to an extent. The poor women looked mortified but she's always been the type of mother to pander to her daughter.

My own mother was asked to contribute to a honeymoon fund. She valued my parents under me! She's asking for 175 because their "old family friends".

And do your parents see nothing wrong with being told what amount to give as a present?
Whether or not they planned to give that amount, I'm still wondering do they not see that as extremely bad manners (to say the very very least)?

sunshine and showers

whatlliwear wrote: »

I NEED to read the 2 threads people keep mentioning- the 1 where guests had to pay for the meal and 1 other similar sounding 1..

Frynge wrote: »

Please someone link those treads. The bride in this tread has the social etiquette of a toilet brush.

It started off with a thread about who pays for the bridesmaids' clothes, hair, etc.

It spiralled into the now infamous "Bridesmaidgate" - the greatest thread on Boards, ever. Sadly it got out of control and was deleted at the request of the OP.

HOWEVER, there was an update post from the OP all about the wedding, which Toots kindly posted.

Milly33

dear lord why would they even think strangers would like to go their wedding let only pay to go to it...some people defiantly think too highly or themselves and forget that their are other people in the world

CarpeDiem85

Can anyone give me the jist of bridesmaidgate? I flipping missed it somehow.

Milly33

sunshine and showers wrote: »

It started off with a thread about who pays for the bridesmaids' clothes, hair, etc.

It spiralled into the now infamous "Bridesmaidgate" - the greatest thread on Boards, ever. Sadly it got out of control and was deleted at the request of the OP.

HOWEVER, there was an update post from the OP all about the wedding, which Toots kindly posted.

just click on the posted part there.. Oh it was gas demanding bride who had her guests pay for their meal, left the bridesmaids in the middle of no-where and buggered off. seems like they just got drunk for most of it

Tarzana2

tinkerbell wrote: »

Do not feel sorry for those selfish ignorant twats! They know exactly what they are doing. I hope those miserable gits get a 90% decline rate. They don't deserve people going to the trouble of attending their wedding after treating their guests like crap.

Well, what I'd hope for is a huge decline rate AND a distinct lack of presents. Because as someone said, they'd probably be glad if people gave them presents and didn't show up! Whereas lack of cash cows guests and no pressies will likely end up costing them a lot. :P

Tarzana2

Deleted User wrote: »

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

Why do they imagine corporations would have any interest in sponsoring them? Sponsorship is in return for advertising, for which there needs to be a decent audience to see said advertisements. And why would people go to Vegas for some randomers' wedding, when they could just go to Vegas anyway with the money?

I really don't get their thought process. Would be interesting to see how they get on, I guess.

Sligo1

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Have a read of this!
http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

Omg I have never heard of such sh*te! Major ideas of ones own self importance comes to mind here. Absolutely ridiculous!

Sittingpretty

Totally crass and classless to mention gifts of any description on a wedding invite unless you've done a wedding list somewhere which in itself is very Celtic Tiger.

Tarzana2

Sligo1 wrote: »

Omg I have never heard of such sh*te! Major ideas of ones own self importance comes to mind here. Absolutely ridiculous!

Love how they're dressing it up as "LOL, we're doing this because we're CRRRRAAAZZZY!"

Sligo1

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Love how they're dressing it up as "LOL, we're doing this because we're CRRRRAAAZZZY!"

Rofl +1. More like, we're doing this because we have big ideas and low incomes. So hey... You guys can pay for it because we deserve it.