overwhelmed by all the different advice

LegacyUser

where to start?! we have a beautiful 4 week old daughter (our first child!) who we are absolutely besotted with. my wife had to have a section due to complications but is fine now which is great. our baby had problems latching on which meant we were advised to bottle feed and to express (which unfortunately dried up a few days ago). we started with actamil but had to change to cow and gate comfort as she was pretty colicky. she also has had a bit of mucus which is more of an irritant then anything else, sterimar and the nasal aspirator seem to offer some bit of relief.

so now we are a month in and we are getting used to the lack of sleep but we are a bit confused about other things and from talking to others they seem to be telling us things that seem polar opposite.

feeds:
we are feeding her every four hours and she is over 4kg now so we are giving her 4 ounces. we've been told to feed her on demand but also been told feed her on a strict timetable. if we feed her on demand then will that make it really hard to get her to sleep at night and if we feed on a rigid timetable then if she is unsettled due to colic do we wake her up if she falls asleep soon before a feed?!

sleep:
it kinda gels with above, do we let her sleep or do we wake her?? should we be getting her into a routine at 4 weeks or is she too young?? what is the story with naps/sleeps during the day?? should we be letting her sleep or does she need to be woken to make her sleepy at night?? and should we be playing with her during the day to hold back on the stimulation after a certain time to get her into the night time mode??

routine:
obviously we would love to get her to sleep through the night which isn't really happening now. she can get very unsettled which we think it mostly due to colic/reflux so establishing any sort of regular sleeping pattern isn't currently happening. this can last between feeds (and sometimes longer) so hopefully this will pass so we can get her into a regular sleeping pattern. we have heard people praising the gina ford method while others gave out mad about it so again we are unsure what to do.

if anyone could give any advice or their thoughts on the above questions then i'd love to hear it! i know people will say do what is right for your baby but we don't know where to start with a lot of it!!

thanks!

2xj3hplqgsbkym

You should read this, it has all the answers;

http://m.today.com/parents/exhausted-new-moms-hilarious-take-expert-sleep-advice-goes-viral-6C9559908

Seriously, my advice- feed your baby when he is hungry. Let him sleep whenever he will, however way you can get him to sleep. Let your wife sleep then too.

Enjoy cuddling your baby as much as you possibly can. Worry about routines etc.. in a few months time.

bp

I never woke baby up for a feed - although baby woke for a feed on the three hour mark regardless.

Listen you are doing great, listen to the advice but you don't have to take it - no one knows your daughter than you so go with your gut and relax.

At four weeks there no such thing as a routine :-)

monflat

Id echo the same listen to your baby
learn to read it's cues.
I would not go anymore than 3/4 hrs between feeds at this age.
it will take a while to get to know each other.
Don't get too wound up about routine or such
it's all a learning curve and your first is always the hardest .

Everything will fall into place.


Edit: in my experience of a mother of 3. By the time baby wakes up feeds nappy change usually could be 1.5 hrs. Its time to settle baby back to sleep.
Some are easy to settle others take time.
Congratulations! !!

Neyite

My personal view is that at 4 weeks, maybe you'll find 4 hrs is too long between feeds. The tummy is only the size of a marble so fills up quickly. If you feel baby is hungry, offer a feed. Growth spurts create cluster feeding so baby might be hungrier. Check out The Wonder Weeks to see other emotional leaps that can make a baby unsettled.

Sleep? Well, some babies sleep great, others are a bit more erratic. Spend a couple of days jotting down times of waking and sleep and you might find that baby will have a rhythm already that you can build on a little bit down the line.

It sounds like you are doing great already, so nod and smile if advice is offered and use your own instincts when deciding if the advice is useful for you or not. What works for one baby might not work for another so use your own judgement.

Moonbeam

feed on demand and unless a baby is underweight/under medical supervision never wake them for a feed.
sleep when they sleep it is easy when there is only 1 but gets harder with more.
I had 2 babies with reflux and a sling is a good investment,I would feed #4 and put her in the sling straight after and it made it a bit easier for her.Babywearing Ireland( http://www.babywearingireland.ie/) is a good resource for slings and if you don't want to invest you can borrow one from the sling library to try it out.
She is way too young for an enforced routine,I found mine tended to set there own routine and stick to it until the next growth spurt etc

Trust your instincts too.

orchidsrpretty

Alani Scarce Microcomputer wrote: »

You should read this, it has all the answers;

http://m.today.com/parents/exhausted-new-moms-hilarious-take-expert-sleep-advice-goes-viral-6C9559908

Seriously, my advice- feed your baby when he is hungry. Let him sleep whenever he will, however way you can get him to sleep. Let your wife sleep then too.

Enjoy cuddling your baby as much as you possibly can. Worry about routines etc.. in a few months time.

That's the first thing that popped into my head too. Love that article, it's so true. OP according yo everyone else, they know the best thing for your baby! Mine are only 13 weeks and I could write a book on all the 'advice' I've been given. While I appreciate people are just trying to help, they don't know my babies like I do.

So if your baby is crying because they are hungry/cold/tired/bored etc, you will come to know the type of cry and can deal with it according. Don't listen to anyone else telling you otherwise. You have yo trust your own instincts.

BeardySi

At 4 weeks all you need to do is keep on feeding! Baby will find their own routine in time. Give her as much food as she wants to take whenever she wants it. Good advice from our HV - ignore the all tables, charts and guidelines. If the baby is hungry feed it and it they're regularly draining bottles, add another ounce.


Our wee girl is 13 weeks now - at first she was like clockwork, would wake after 4 hours almost to the minute, gradually she started sleeping more at nights until (on Chrismas eve - lovely present!) she started to sleep through. Now she regularly goes from 10 or 11 till 8 or 9 and sometimes later.

highly1111

This is the briefest of replies because I'm very low on battery but I've 3 and a midwife gave me great advice on number 1 - wake them during the day but never during the night. I'd be feeding every 4 hours and remember its from the start of the feed. So if you start at 1, start again at 5.

Huge congratulations - the first weeks are a total blur. There's no routine happening yet! I know some people HATE Gina forde but I found her routine a great guideline as a first time mum from .when my was about 6 weeks. Just don't take her too literally - she literally advises when to eat and shower which is pure rubbish!

slinky2000

We've an 11 week old girl here and she's 11lbs or so. For the last 4 weeks we've been bottle feeding her every 4 hours 5 times a day, 180mls aptimil. 7:30am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm and 12:30pm

In the last few weeks we've now got her into the routine that she'll go down from about 1/1:30am after feeding and winding till about 7/7:30am.

The routine is working quite well that she'll wake herself up on time on the button now. If she sleeps on and has one late, so be it, we don't wake her. There'll be other days shes dying for her bottle early so we give it to her also.

Do whatever you think is best for the kid, there are no rules, as long as their growing and gaining weight there's no problem.