Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

alcea

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

But there isn't a place that's officially called 'West Cork'. If the town or village that the person lives has a unique place-name in Co. Cork, I don't see the problem.

There are probably more than one sorting office in Cork, hence the West Cork. It all depends on the postmans route, a townland could be split between two routes depending on the size and layout of the townland.

I work in a supermarket off licence. I had a customer in a mad panic come in a while back demanding to know what consultant's drink. Had another guy in pacing up and down the spirits section examining all the whiskey we sell. Asked him if there was anything in particular he was looking for, fire lighters he says.

Sand

somesoldiers wrote: »

Highly inefficient and with huge scope for error to have someone type data into a spreadsheet anyway I would have thought. Where was the data coming from, is there no way to automate the process?

The world quite literally runs on spreadsheets. Sure, systems and automation would be better. But that costs money. Whereas running hugely risky process on the back of some formulas in a spreadsheet will never come back and bite you in the ass.

Management 101.

meeeeh

Not exactly to me but I used to do some admin stuff in my parent's mechanical workshop/tyre business/ car equipment stuff. We got plenty of stupid requests. Someone showed up with a wartburg (I don't even know where he found one) asking for springs to be cut so the car will have more sporty look.

The worst one though was a customer looking for used tyres which was not unusual. Because there was (still is); strict winter tyres in winter policy most people would alternate between two sets and sometimes a car would be sold and a set of perfectly good tyres would be left with us. Co-worker checked and told him there is nothing in size he needs. So the customer starts going through the tyres left to be recycled and finds four. The co-worker tells him that they are almost bald and no way is he putting that on the car. And the guy replies: 'they will be fine, I have small kids so I drive slowly. We sent him away in complete disbelief.

suicide_circus

mr.anonymous wrote: »

A relative worked in a hotel years ago and a few farmers came in for lunch..


"Would you like some serviettes?"

"Yeah, give us a plate of them"

I was in a little restaurant in bessington and in comes a farmer in wellies and a flat cap and sits down, refuses the waitresses offer of a menu and just said "The best you have". He answered all the waitresses probing questions trying to figure out what he might like with " the best you have". It was quite sweet actually.

Billy86

alcea wrote: »

Maybe his post could be going through the wrong sorting office and have to be re-routed through a different sorting office. This would mean that by the time he gets what you sent him, there maybe a sticker on the envelope requesting him to put West Cork on his address. Eircode cannot work if people and courier companies don't use it.

Nope, it was entirely Dow to the fact his cert, disc, etc did not proudly display WEST Cork to anyone bothered to glance at them.

languagenerd

"Do you have any [product I've never heard of]?"
"Sorry, no, but I'll check with our suppliers and see if we could order something in for you. Do you know who makes them?"
"Well, they were used in China, mostly in the 14th century. Can you get one in?"

What?!
(It was not an antiques store, and we didn't do specifically Asian products either btw)

mr.anonymous

suicide_circus wrote: »

I was in a little restaurant in bessington and in comes a farmer in wellies and a flat cap and sits down, refuses the waitresses offer of a menu and just said "The best you have". He answered all the waitresses probing questions trying to figure out what he might like with " the best you have". It was quite sweet actually.

Reminds me of an old man I served before. "Anything at all" was his answer. Had to stop myself saying "you might as well choose seeing as you're ****ing paying for it!"

starling

suicide_circus wrote: »

I was in a little restaurant in bessington and in comes a farmer in wellies and a flat cap and sits down, refuses the waitresses offer of a menu and just said "The best you have". He answered all the waitresses probing questions trying to figure out what he might like with " the best you have". It was quite sweet actually.

Aw, that sounds like the ending of some kind of adorable and uplifting film in which the salt of the earth farmer is swamped with debt and things are looking grim, but he (and possibly his pet pig) have done something exciting and inspiring, and there's been financial reward, and now that he's saved the farm and paid off his debts, the farmer has decided he's finally going to make good on his promise to himself (mentioned earlier in the film, obvs) that he will go in to the best restaurant in town and get "the best" for himself, for once in his life. Perhaps his dying wife even told him on her deathbed that she had watched him putting others first his whole life and now she wanted him to promise her that he would go to the restaurant and get "the best" for himself...... Except you and the waitress were only in the final scene, so you have no idea about any of it.

starling

languagenerd wrote: »

"Do you have any [product I've never heard of]?"
"Sorry, no, but I'll check with our suppliers and see if we could order something in for you. Do you know who makes them?"
"Well, they were used in China, mostly in the 14th century. Can you get one in?"

What?!
(It was not an antiques store, and we didn't do specifically Asian products either btw)

Really wondering what they wanted and what it was used for, cause that's weird...

languagenerd

starling wrote: »

Really wondering what they wanted and what it was used for, cause that's weird...

Genuinely can't remember the word, I had never heard it before or since (I originally thought it was a brand name I'd never heard). It was apparently some sort of music equipment, last seen in the 14th century :pac:

pauldla

Back in my IT support days. Ah, the happy memories.

So, senior manager logs a VERY irate call about his information screen disappearing. I am dispatched.

Arrive to his office and he's really pissed off. Tells me how important his work is, how much this delay has cost the bank, and tells me that I better fix his computer etc etc.

So, thus chastised (for doing nothing more that turning up promptly to do my job, I might add), I took a look at his PC. Can you guess what the problem was, dear reader?

Yes, that's right. He had minimized the window.

And the best part was, when I explained what had happened to him, he asked (still in his Angry Manager Voice) 'And when will it happen again...?'

I have since moved on to another field.

Gone Drinking

starling wrote: »

Aw, that sounds like the ending of some kind of adorable and uplifting film in which the salt of the earth farmer is swamped with debt and things are looking grim, but he (and possibly his pet pig) have done something exciting and inspiring, and there's been financial reward, and now that he's saved the farm and paid off his debts, the farmer has decided he's finally going to make good on his promise to himself (mentioned earlier in the film, obvs) that he will go in to the best restaurant in town and get "the best" for himself, for once in his life. Perhaps his dying wife even told him on her deathbed that she had watched him putting others first his whole life and now she wanted him to promise her that he would go to the restaurant and get "the best" for himself...... Except you and the waitress were only in the final scene, so you have no idea about any of it.

Or more likely the story of an uneducated farmers struggle with illiteracy and his dream of being able to read the menu to order what he actually wants for once.

Wossack

starling wrote: »

Aw, that sounds like the ending of some kind of adorable and uplifting film in which the salt of the earth farmer is swamped with debt and things are looking grim, but he (and possibly his pet pig) have done something exciting and inspiring, and there's been financial reward, and now that he's saved the farm and paid off his debts, the farmer has decided he's finally going to make good on his promise to himself (mentioned earlier in the film, obvs) that he will go in to the best restaurant in town and get "the best" for himself, for once in his life. Perhaps his dying wife even told him on her deathbed that she had watched him putting others first his whole life and now she wanted him to promise her that he would go to the restaurant and get "the best" for himself...... Except you and the waitress were only in the final scene, so you have no idea about any of it.

that would explain the accompanying camera crew...

LynnGrace

pauldla wrote: »

Back in my IT support days. Ah, the happy memories.

So, senior manager logs a VERY irate call about his information screen disappearing. I am dispatched.

Arrive to his office and he's really pissed off. Tells me how important his work is, how much this delay has cost the bank, and tells me that I better fix his computer etc etc.

So, thus chastised (for doing nothing more that turning up promptly to do my job, I might add), I took a look at his PC. Can you guess what the problem was, dear reader?

Yes, that's right. He had minimized the window.

And the best part was, when I explained what had happened to him, he asked (still in his Angry Manager Voice) 'And when will it happen again...?'

I have since moved on to another field.

I love it.

J Mysterio

starling wrote: »

Really wondering what they wanted and what it was used for, cause that's weird...

You would love it Clarice.

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

Cool_CM

alcea wrote: »

Maybe his post could be going through the wrong sorting office and have to be re-routed through a different sorting office. This would mean that by the time he gets what you sent him, there maybe a sticker on the envelope requesting him to put West Cork on his address. Eircode cannot work if people and courier companies don't use it.

Being from Cork and regularly dealing with people who live in West Cork (mostly people who have relocated there), I'd be almost certain that it had nothing to do with postage and Eircodes and a little more to do with this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FAI_-woNh4

Roselm

suicide_circus wrote: »

I was in a little restaurant in bessington and in comes a farmer in wellies and a flat cap and sits down, refuses the waitresses offer of a menu and just said "The best you have". He answered all the waitresses probing questions trying to figure out what he might like with " the best you have". It was quite sweet actually.

I wonder if he couldn't read so didn't want the menu

KT10

I was sent on-site to a client who, despite not having a support contract with us, rang us anyway any time something went wrong cause he's mates with my boss.

Arrive to find a failed server (only server in the building) failing to boot. I'd been on-site with these guys previously 9 months ago and without even logging into the box, had strongly advised they get a new server, based purely on the fact it looked old as hell and was running MS Server 2003.

So it had completely sh!t itself and despite a few hours work, I had to walk into the bossmans office and deliver the bad news in the most non-techie friendly manner possible.

"Tis f#cked mate." were my exact words

Well he went on a rant about IT and this and that and f'ing technology and blah blah blah.

I stood there, nodded along, and when he asked me the question I was waiting for, I had an answer ready to go.

"But WHY has it failed? What's wrong with it?"

"Well, I'd hazard a guess that its due to the fact the box is 10 years old, has been running 24/7 that whole time, in a small room under your stairs with no air con. Quite frankly mate, you're lucky it didn't go on fire at some point..." :pac:

He tried the old, 'you should have warned us' and I stopped him there, forwarding on my email I sent to him 9 months ago strongly advising they buy a new server and migrate away from their current set up, ideally installing in a new location in the building.

A lesson I learnt years ago in the IT game, always have a record of your recommendations.

Wossack

'can you send me that request in an email' has saved my ass countless times alright..

Conall Cernach

I just got asked "Do you mind knocking off an hour early today? You still get paid."

byronbay2

pauldla wrote: »

Back in my IT support days. Ah, the happy memories.

So, senior manager logs a VERY irate call about his information screen disappearing. I am dispatched.

Arrive to his office and he's really pissed off. Tells me how important his work is, how much this delay has cost the bank, and tells me that I better fix his computer etc etc.

So, thus chastised (for doing nothing more that turning up promptly to do my job, I might add), I took a look at his PC. Can you guess what the problem was, dear reader?

Yes, that's right. He had minimized the window.

And the best part was, when I explained what had happened to him, he asked (still in his Angry Manager Voice) 'And when will it happen again...?'

I have since moved on to another field.

So, what do we know here? It was a VERY senior (male) person, who does EXTREMELY important work. He was working in Finance and had a strong antipathy towards tech/IT people. I think I've solved the puzzle - I know who you're referring to. Were you working in Frankfurt at the time? Would the initials AvB mean anything to you?

somesoldiers

byronbay2 wrote: »

So, what do we know here? It was a VERY senior (male) person, who does EXTREMELY important work. He was working in Finance and had a strong antipathy towards tech/IT people. I think I've solved the puzzle - I know who you're referring to. Were you working in Frankfurt at the time? Would the initials AvB mean anything to you?

High or low finance? It's like Play Your Cards Right

SillyBeans

I think what we've all learned from this thread is that everyone in a position that involves computer use has to do at least a basic skills course. Either that or make strangling people for sheer stupidity legal!

KH25

I used to work in a gym and we had some absolutely bizzarre customers. I really questioned how many of these people had managed to get this far in life. One day a woman came up to me with a paper cup full of hot water and explained that she had tried to buy a hot chocolate from the vending machine and it was obviously empty.

'No worries' I said and stuck an out of order sign on the machine. She then asked me for her €1 back. Now, my job didn't deal with refunds from the vending machine. The policy was that the company, when fixing the machine, would have to take the money from the machine and give it to us. My job also worked with a hilariously low cash float of about €20 in change, which would be quickly eaten up every weekend by people paying for their children to go for a swim or buying things like locks or swimming hats.

I told the woman this and she got in a huff with me about how awkward I was being. I told her that her €1 would be waiting for her the next week. About an hour later she comes up to me and just puts ANOTHER paper cup of hot water on the reception desk and says 'I am now owed €2'. Despite the fact that I had put an out of order sign up, she seemed to think she could still use the machine with a different outcome :rolleyes:

So the next week rolls around and sure enough her €2 is there waiting for her. She never shows up. While I was locking up there were 3 kids still in the reception area and I asked whether someone was picking them up and they said their mother would be there in twenty minutes. Grand so, I continued locking up and left the kids sitting there until I had to close up the whole building (about 20 minutes later). Just as I was locking the gate to enter the complex, the mother pulls up and immediately shouts at me that shouts at me that she wants her €2. I told her that the whole building was locked up and that she would have to wait another week. She then started to berate the kids saying that they should have taken the money off me :eek:

J Mysterio

Probably spent €2 in petrol to get there.

Ken.

J Mysterio wrote: »

Probably spent €2 in petrol to get there.

My brother was a manager of a toy shop in London. One day a woman was charged £x.99 instead of £x.95 She drove back 15 miles through London traffic to give out and get her 4p.

Mr.Carter

Sent on-site to Dunnes stores on a weekend call out.
Arrive to find a very upset manager who said the lift is breaking down everyday, turns out that the big "RED" stop button is pressed in, and there is a big "RED" light beside the button indicting so, you only have to twist it to return it to use.

Rude is par for the course in Dunnes

Captain Flaps

Have millions of stories from back when I worked in a pharmacy photo lab, too many to even list tbh. Some that stand out:

- People not understanding why an extremely close up portrait couldn't be scanned and printed landscape without either having blank space each side or seriously cropping the image

- A woman coming in with a group photo where one person is facing the wrong way (as you can literally only see the back of their head) and asking me to Photoshop them to face the camera...no source image provided or anything, she just thought I could 'spin' the person in the pic!

- A guy asking if I could do a bulk discount if he bought 10 SD cards at once. Not a stupid request in itself, until I discovered he didn't know they were reusable and was binning them once full

- Someone who thought it would help get their film developed quicker if they removed all the rolls of film from the canisters before handing them in. They didn't understand why you can't do this and accused me of trying to scam them when I tried to explain why they'd ruined the film and lost their pics forever.

I'll post more good ones if I remember them!

Edit: Oh, actually a common one was muslim men getting very annoyed that their wives couldn't get a passport photo taken with the face fully covered. We even had a system set up for having a female member of staff take it out of view of the rest of the shop but for some this was still unacceptable to some of them. More than once I agreed to take the photo to their specifications with the understanding that I had advised them it would be rejected and that I would be allowed write that on their receipt so they couldn't come back and try and get a refund when the passport office sent them back. Most of them tried regardless.

recylingbin

suicide_circus wrote: »

I was in a little restaurant in bessington and in comes a farmer in wellies and a flat cap and sits down, refuses the waitresses offer of a menu and just said "The best you have". He answered all the waitresses probing questions trying to figure out what he might like with " the best you have". It was quite sweet actually.

Mart day.

somesoldiers

I was once asked "Do you have a la carte or is it just what's on the menu?" when working in a bar/ restaurant

jca

somesoldiers wrote: »

I was once asked "Do you have a la carte or is it just what's on the menu?" when working in a bar/ restaurant

Yep!!! That's the winner....😊

New Home

Could have been 'table d'hôte' menu.

duffman3833

(Me)Can you press the start button and go to all programs.....
(user)where's the start button
(Me)..... really

Captain Flaps

duffman3833 wrote: »

(Me)Can you press the start button and go to all programs.....
(user)where's the start button
(Me)..... really

It hasn't actually been the 'Start' button since XP. I completely understand somebody not understanding what you meant.

duffman3833

Captain Flaps wrote: »

It hasn't actually been the 'Start' button since XP. I completely understand somebody not understanding what you meant.

The user had a XP machine before and there an everyday user of the machine, maybe it was just tiredness or something and they just weren't thinking at that moment in time ha

razorblunt

I worked as first line support for a while and we'd have to be in the office quite early some mornings.
Phone rings and I answer it and someone is frantic on the other end:

"I've got a real important presentation at 9 and I can't find the printer"
-"This isn't the IT helpdesk, you'll have to ring ..."
"No, no they're too slow to sort things and I heard you guys are faster"
<Quick internal search on his name and I saw he was quite senior, so felt I better try and do something>
-"ok, go to Control Panel etc etc"
"No, no, I can print from Powerpoint, I just don't know where the printer is on this floor (he was in a different country to me)"
<pause>
<long pause>
<longer pause>
-"What?"
"I can hear it printing but I can't see where it is"


Basically had to end the call there, told my manager in case any flack came back on us. He rang the caller, turns out it wasn't the Senior Manager at all but someone junior who thought it would get priority if it came from that phone.

Sheep Lover

This thread is basically a "Nerds making fun of non Nerds" thread.

melissak

"Stop spending all day on the internet and do some work". Some people....

Bluefoam

When I was a young'fella, I worked for a few months with a racehorse trainer. On my first week I was sent to another yard to get a tin of elbow greese. I eagerly complied, but really I just knocked about for 30 mins to teach them a lesson... They thought they were hilarious until they found out the truth.

I also did a stint on the night pack in Dunnes... asked a friend of mine at the fish counter for a leg of salmon. It genuinely took about 5 minutes for him to figure it out.

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

Captain Flaps

Bluefoam wrote: »

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

When I was in my early teens I was put in charge of a group of younger kids and had to give them tasks to accomplish. Sent one of them up to a very severe looking lady to enquire about a set of fallopian tubes.

Axel Lamp

Bluefoam wrote: »

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

Duly toddled off home for an hour and had a nice rest, before heading back to work.

Thankfully the brother had told me to watch out for that trick.

ivytwine

Sheep Lover wrote: »

This thread is basically a "Nerds making fun of non Nerds" thread.

Isn't everything on this site?!

Badly Drunk Boy

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

I'd absolutely LOVE a keg of Babycham! I wonder if it's available on eBay...

kylith

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

Duly toddled off home for an hour and had a nice rest, before heading back to work.

Thankfully the brother had told me to watch out for that trick.

In a supermarket I worked in once a new lad was sent out for a fallopian tube and went around to half a dozen local premises looking for one before coming back somewhat annoyed and attempting to assault the wag who'd sent him out with a box cutter. He was, em, invited to leave soon after.

Robsweezie

A miley cyrus lookalike ordered me to twerk in my underwear alongside them. Insanely pointy nipples.

FlipperThePriest

I worked in a music shop years ago selling instruments and equipment. A poor old nun sauntered in one day; microphone in one hand, microphone cable in the other, asking me to wire a plug to the end of the cable for some function they were organising in the convent. I asked her what kind of plug?!

She wanted a 3 pin plug wired to it, under the impression that she could just plug the microphone directly into a mains outlet and somehow magically amplify sound through thin air without the need for any speakers, desk or any PA/amplification paraphernalia... just the microphone plugged directly into a wall socket... oblivious to the dangers involved in what she was asking and rather irate that I couldn't help her out.

evo2000

Captain Flaps wrote: »

It hasn't actually been the 'Start' button since XP. I completely understand somebody not understanding what you meant.

Really? Almost everyone knows what the start button is ud genuinely have to be really thick to not get what he meant or be really really old.

SillyBeans

Not everyone is familiar with computers though, doesn't make them thick. There's a serious air of computer snobbery off some of these posts (not aimed at you evo2000). There's a difference between stupidity and just not knowing something.