Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

emeldc

bubblypop wrote: »

Ah that's government email for you, probably a security thing.

Yep, that would be right, much safer to send it by post

evlgmaojr27ypu

Few years back I got called from a users saying "I can't get anything to work, all I am seeing is no signal". It was strange considering the user was on a desktop and didn't have wifi, so told him I would come over to his desk in a bit. So when I did eventually go over, I found he was turning his monitor on and off, which was throwing the no signal message - because his PC was turned off !!!!!

RainyDay

bubblypop wrote: »

Ah that's government email for you, probably a security thing.

Revenue have had a secure email service for years;

http://www.revenue.ie/en/online/myenquiries.html

Frynge

RainyDay wrote: »

Revenue have had a secure email service for years;

http://www.revenue.ie/en/online/myenquiries.html

Try telling that to revenue.

eternal

Why don't you come in early to do extra prep on top of the eleven hours a day you do already?
Fck off.

RainyDay

Frynge wrote: »

Try telling that to revenue.

Is this just the standard 'let's all moan about public services regardless of whether there is any basis for it' stuff?

berettaman

RainyDay wrote: »

Revenue have had a secure email service for years;

http://www.revenue.ie/en/online/myenquiries.html

That is going for about 2 years, and can't open zipped files.

Nightmare to deal with.

Not having a go..some good people but poor IT.

RiderOnTheStorm

This is another IT one (and an old one) but its 100% genuine ....

I was working as a computer operator and often answered calls at the helpdesk when they were under pressure. One day I answered the phone and the user said their computer screen was blank....
ME: what sort of blank is it? Is the screen entirely grey? or are there empty windows up? (sometime people say there is 'nothing on my screen' when they really mean that 'the usual stuff is not on my screen')....
USER: its grey
ME is there power to your computer? (thinking "bingo...its a power issue...i will get them to turn it on!)
USER i think so
ME is there any lights on your keypad or monitor? maybe a little green or red led? (bummer..... i really thought it might be a power issue)
USER no
ME can you turn on the computer so? maybe the plug got turned off or kicked out (great, it might be a power issue afterall!)
USER i cant see the plug
ME why? (weird .....)
USER all the lights are off
ME why are all the lights off? (weird +1)
USER the power is gone in this building.....
ME so why did you think your computer should be working at all so? (people are really weird!)
USER well, the computer mainframe is in a different building, and they have power .... I checked, so I should be able to sign in, right?
ME ..... (words fail me)

RainyDay

berettaman wrote: »

That is going for about 2 years, and can't open zipped files.

Nightmare to deal with.

Not having a go..some good people but poor IT.

Revenue have some of the best IT folks and systems in the country - more on the applications side than the desktop side, but regardless, they are at the top of the pile.

I'm confused now as to whether the problem is opening zip files or pdf files? Are you using the secure email service?

RiderOnTheStorm

another time I got a call from the IT dept in UK (our parent office), from a guy I know was tech-savy. He asked if we got the fax he just sent. (A fax is an old-e time-e form of communication .... its like remote printing, kids) . I checked the fax machine and there was nothing there. I told him so. He called out the fax number, to be sure he got it right, and it was right number. I checked to make sure there was paper in the machine .... there was. We were stumped. Then he asked what time was it in Ireland? I told him the time, and he replied "Oh, its the same here. Was just thinking if there was a time-difference then maybe the fax would not transmit until the send-time is same as local time, otherwise it could arrive before it was sent ...."

sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing !!!!

jca

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

another time I got a call from the IT dept in UK (our parent office), from a guy I know was tech-savy. He asked if we got the fax he just sent. (A fax is an old-e time-e form of communication .... its like remote printing, kids) . I checked the fax machine and there was nothing there. I told him so. He called out the fax number, to be sure he got it right, and it was right number. I checked to make sure there was paper in the machine .... there was. We were stumped. Then he asked what time was it in Ireland? I told him the time, and he replied "Oh, its the same here. Was just thinking if there was a time-difference then maybe the fax would not transmit until the send-time is same as local time, otherwise it could arrive before it was sent ...."

sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing !!!!

It's a wonder he didn't ask you if we had electricity in Ireland. An ex brother in law of mine came over here in the late 80's and thought there were snipers in the ditches....

BrokenArrows

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

A woman asked for her chicken breast to be cooked with no fats, no oil no nothing. She wouldn't allow it go in the oven either. Had to sous vide it without any color. Rotten

had to google what "sous vide" was.

RainyDay

jca wrote: »

An ex brother in law of mine came over here in the late 80's and thought there were snipers in the ditches....

There were! Well, certainly in the mid-to-late 80s, when you crossed the border to NI, there were British Army snipers in the ditches with their gun aimed right at you as you approached the checkpoint.

jca

RainyDay wrote: »

There were! Well, certainly in the mid-to-late 80s, when you crossed the border to NI, there were British Army snipers in the ditches with their gun aimed right at you as you approached the checkpoint.

I meant here in the south. He was expecting to see snipers as he drove off the ferry in rosslare. I think he got a bigger shock when he saw the petrol prices:eek::eek:

legallyblonde86

I work in emergency services and once when it was snowing I was asked to make it stop

PARlance

Was asked last week if we (Dublin) were an hour ahead or behind Manchester.

eternal

Can I have five extremely complicated fish plates (lobster shelled and prepared, opened oysters, smoked salmon, cold cooked salmon, etc.) in the next 3 seconds? Why the fck aren't they ready I asked you two seconds ago, shout , shout, shout.

eternal

We need you to prepare at least four desserts and sauces before service but we will provide no recipes for this, you need to guess in your head how to put them together. Who uses recipes, nobody???!!!
Yeah riiiiiight.

FanadMan

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

This is another IT one (and an old one) but its 100% genuine ....

I was working as a computer operator and often answered calls at the helpdesk when they were under pressure. One day I answered the phone and the user said their computer screen was blank....
ME: what sort of blank is it? Is the screen entirely grey? or are there empty windows up? (sometime people say there is 'nothing on my screen' when they really mean that 'the usual stuff is not on my screen')....
USER: its grey
ME is there power to your computer? (thinking "bingo...its a power issue...i will get them to turn it on!)
USER i think so
ME is there any lights on your keypad or monitor? maybe a little green or red led? (bummer..... i really thought it might be a power issue)
USER no
ME can you turn on the computer so? maybe the plug got turned off or kicked out (great, it might be a power issue afterall!)
USER i cant see the plug
ME why? (weird .....)
USER all the lights are off
ME why are all the lights off? (weird +1)
USER the power is gone in this building.....
ME so why did you think your computer should be working at all so? (people are really weird!)
USER well, the computer mainframe is in a different building, and they have power .... I checked, so I should be able to sign in, right?
ME ..... (words fail me)

Might have been 100% genuine 25 years ago but this has been told since computers were the size of pyramids and were run by hamsters

Sunnyisland

PARlance wrote: »

Was asked last week if we (Dublin) were an hour ahead or behind Manchester.

Hope you said we're ahead, as we all know here Dublin is ahead of everywhere else :-)

RiderOnTheStorm

FanadMan wrote: »

Might have been 100% genuine 25 years ago but this has been told since computers were the size of pyramids and were run by hamsters

.... it did happen to me about 20 years ago! OMG!! Was I the start of an urban myth???

It was so stupid that I suspected one of my colleagues had put one of the users up to it, and I checked and checked .... but no one ever admitted it. Even after working there for 16 years, I never got to the bottom of it.

Clearlier

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

.... it did happen to me about 20 years ago! OMG!! Was I the start of an urban myth???

It was so stupid that I suspected one of my colleagues had put one of the users up to it, and I checked and checked .... but no one ever admitted it. Even after working there for 16 years, I never got to the bottom of it.

If you consider that in most homes at the time phone lines usually still worked when there was a blackout it's entirely plausible that someone might have thought that their computer would continue to work during a power outage.

Frynge

Sorry to be the asshat here but i see a couple of holes in the version of the computer not working/no electricity story above. Mainly that there was reference to a mainframe in another part of a building. In such a commercial site the phones would be on a PBX and as such would not work in a power outage.

Sometimes I even hate myself.

FionnK86

I work in a bus company and occasionally answer phones. A travelling customer asked me to find out if he needed a passport to travel. I asked why and he said he might need one to go from Limerick to Dublin :P

Frynge

FionnK86 wrote: »

I work in a bus company and occasionally answer phones. A travelling customer asked me to find out if he needed a passport to travel. I asked why and he said he might need one to go from Limerick to Dublin :P

You should have told him he did need one and that it had to be valid for more than 10 years. We Dublin folk don't be wanting that sort up here!

Michael D Not Higgins

Frynge wrote: »

Sorry to be the asshat here but i see a couple of holes in the version of the computer not working/no electricity story above. Mainly that there was reference to a mainframe in another part of a building. In such a commercial site the phones would be on a PBX and as such would not work in a power outage.

Sometimes I even hate myself.

Could've called on a mobile?

Odelay

Frynge wrote: »

Sorry to be the asshat here but i see a couple of holes in the version of the computer not working/no electricity story above. Mainly that there was reference to a mainframe in another part of a building. In such a commercial site the phones would be on a PBX and as such would not work in a power outage.

Sometimes I even hate myself.

But aren't they usually backed up by a UPS? Our PBX works for an hour during an electrical outage.

RainyDay

FionnK86 wrote: »

I work in a bus company and occasionally answer phones. A travelling customer asked me to find out if he needed a passport to travel. I asked why and he said he might need one to go from Limerick to Dublin :P

I was told by a private bus company recently that I had to bring photo-id along with my online ticket to show the driver. I didn't see the driver looking for anyone's ID at all.

sportloto86

20 years ago?

Damn, I still think it's y2k.
I'll get my coat...

loalae

I'm a social worker.

Parent: Can you tell the housing council that you'll take my kids into care if they don't give me a 5 bed house?

Me: No.