Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

A_Sober_Paddy

secondrowgal wrote: »

I actually have no idea what you're saying here??

Work in retail

We bank daily for the previous days takings, the amount we must bank is generated by our in house system.

The other day the amount to bank was €2,750, but we only had €2,600 by the time the banks closed. But in that €2,600 included coins and money to keep the till full, so we could give out change.

So i rang the bosses boss, to inform him of the issue, and he asked me WHY i couldn't bank the €2750 with what was in store...I told him we were short, he still asked WHY???

The fact is the only question i was asked is WHY, by a lad who earns circa £80k a year

The Moldy Gowl

Yeah. Where is this 150 going???

Just bank it the next morning like.

A_Sober_Paddy

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Yeah. Where is this 150 going???

Just bank it the next morning like.

it gets banked the next morning, but you have to report it if its a day late...

The way the system works is, it calculates the amount to bank, i don't know exactly how it does it, the 150(in previous post 2600 was the amount i have available to bank, with probably 170€ in the tills in small notes and coin) was there but in the till in coins and small notes, we get a lot of 50€ notes so its a pain trying to have enough change to service these customers if their purchases are lower than 20€

cml387

Much clearer now.

The Moldy Gowl

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

it gets banked the next morning, but you have to report it if its a day late...

The way the system works is, it calculates the amount to bank, i don't know exactly how it does it, the 150(in previous post 2600 was the amount i have available to bank, with probably 170€ in the tills in small notes and coin) was there but in the till in coins and small notes, we get a lot of 50€ notes so its a pain trying to have enough change to service these customers if their purchases are lower than 20€

Yeah it calculates tax and your 3000 gross turns into 2800ish or whatever. I worked in retail for years and hae never heard of money being banked before a bank closed.
Why bank 2600 now and then I'm the morning bank the 150.

You close up at 6. Cash up your til, leave your float of 200. Put the bankings in a bag with a lodgement slip in a safe.
Next morning go to the bank with the money???

The way you do just makes it a few steps too many and that's why he was getting confused.

Gummy Panda

somesoldiers wrote: »

Insert float for flood maybe, you can tell I do a lot of cryptic crosswords- as for the last bit, no notion.

So he doesn't need the monies for the flood from halo?

DesperateDan

Domino's Pizza:

*Customer walks in and orders*

Customer - "Can you bring that out to the pub around the corner there for me like a good lad"
Me - "Sure we can arrange that but you'll be charged extra"
Customer - "Why?"

Eh, let me think, because I'm not a delivery driver and I don't have the f*cking time to bring your food out to you where ever the f*ck you please.

The Moldy Gowl

DesperateDan wrote: »

Domino's Pizza:

*Customer walks in and orders*

Customer - "Can you bring that out to the pub around the corner there for me like a good lad"
Me - "Sure we can arrange that but you'll be charged extra"
Customer - "Why?"

Eh, let me think, because I'm not a delivery driver and I don't have the f*cking time to bring your food out to you where ever the f*ck you please.

Did he give you half the money when you got there to bring back to the till and then the other half in the morning?

A_Sober_Paddy

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Yeah it calculates tax and your 3000 gross turns into 2800ish or whatever. I worked in retail for years and hae never heard of money being banked before a bank closed.
Why bank 2600 now and then I'm the morning bank the 150.

You close up at 6. Cash up your til, leave your float of 200. Put the bankings in a bag with a lodgement slip in a safe.
Next morning go to the bank with the money???

The way you do just makes it a few steps too many and that's why he was getting confused.

Well i don't make the rules on when to lodge, its decided by the bosses, as it currently stands we have a float of 50 for each till since they implemented the current system which has led to serious cash flow issue in some of the store around the country...Float for the safe is non existent as there is technically none...They've spend a fortune on this system and it just makes the job of managing change/cash flow a nightmare

Ging Ging

A_Sober_Paddy wrote:

Well i don't make the rules on when to lodge, its decided by the bosses, as it currently stands we have a float of 50 for each till since they implemented the current system which has led to serious cash flow issue in some of the store around the country...Float for the safe is non existent as there is technically none...They've spend a fortune on this system and it just makes the job of managing change/cash flow a nightmare

Please stop

Adyx

minidazzler wrote: »

Customers ordering a Bombay gin martini... Using those exact words.... And then asking can they change it for something else when they realise it's nothing at all like an Apple Martini..... It's come to a point that anyone who asks for a gin martini gets asked if they know what it is and are they sure,lol it's extremely condescending of me, but definitely needed.

Or people disappointed that Bombay Sapphire isn't actually blue...
During the summer I got asked for an "Absolut 7". He got a Smirnoff and Sprite like everyone else.

anewme

Odd person in the office used to ask everyone to save documents with the cursor left up in the right hand corner, the idea being that everyone knew where the cursor was when they opened a shared document

Loved that one.

Grayson

Someone here replied all to a mail thread to ask if they could be added to that mail thread.

mistress_gi

supervisor asked for a one month long experiment, I got down to getting everything ready and doing the work (this has never been done/published before).
One week later:
"How is it going? where are you results?"
Me: It has been one week, I am yet to get any definitive results
Himself: Well clearly you are not working hard enough!"

WTH just happened?

Grayson

Actually that reminds me, I'm going to assume that anyone here who works for a large company has the same experience. A large bulk mail about something goes out to a huge distribution list (say 2000 people).
Someone replies all to ask that they don't receive future notifications.
Then someone replies to that asking the same.
Then someone replies all with instructions on how to remove yourself from the distribution list.
Then someone replies all to the mail where someone asks to be removed, asking to be removed.

And on it goes.

Axel Lamp

Grayson wrote: »

Actually that reminds me, I'm going to assume that anyone here who works for a large company has the same experience. A large bulk mail about something goes out to a huge distribution list (say 2000 people).
Someone replies all to ask that they don't receive future notifications.
Then someone replies to that asking the same.
Then someone replies all with instructions on how to remove yourself from the distribution list.
Then someone replies all to the mail where someone asks to be removed, asking to be removed.

And on it goes.

And don't forget the person who does a 'reply to all' telling everyone to stop replying to all.

Collie D

One from a couple of days ago.

Supplier emails asking for our postal address to send an invoice to. Recipient forwards it to me asking could I answer for them as it was more of an accounts issue.

Not sure if sheer laziness or stupidity but the original recipient has worked in same building as me for a number of years.

heldel00

Collie D wrote: »

One from a couple of days ago.

Supplier emails asking for our postal address to send an invoice to. Recipient forwards it to me asking could I answer for them as it was more of an accounts issue.

Not sure if sheer laziness or stupidity but the original recipient has worked in same building as me for a number of years.

^^^^ Good lord. That is unbelievable.

Ted_YNWA

Collie D wrote: »

One from a couple of days ago.

Supplier emails asking for our postal address to send an invoice to. Recipient forwards it to me asking could I answer for them as it was more of an accounts issue.

Not sure if sheer laziness or stupidity but the original recipient has worked in same building as me for a number of years.

heldel00 wrote: »

^^^^ Good lord. That is unbelievable.

Some people do want to put themselves on the radar as a point of contact for external clients.

DuchessduJour

Had to write a report on merger control and the Anti Monopoly Law in Japan back in March 2013. The Japanese fiscal year runs from April to April, so the latest data I used was from the 2011 fiscal year as the report was written during the 2012 fiscal year. I got torn a new one for using 'outdated information' and was told that the entire report was totally worthless as a result :rolleyes:

Birneybau

DuchessduJour wrote: »

Had to write a report on merger control and the Anti Monopoly Law in Japan back in March 2013. The Japanese fiscal year runs from April to April, so the latest data I used was from the 2011 fiscal year as the report was written during the 2012 fiscal year. I got torn a new one for using 'outdated information' and was told that the entire report was totally worthless as a result :rolleyes:

Shocking

Collie D

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Some people do want to put themselves on the radar as a point of contact for external clients.

Could be. To be fair I can understand her not wanting to be bombarded with another department's post but she could have just told the supplier to mark it "FAO Accounts" which the supplier probably would have done anyway
.

I answered politely anyway. Sometimes it's not worth getting into a game of email tennis when you're still trying to make up for work that piled up over Xmas holiday.

Another post related one from a few years back when I worked on the reception/postroom. In this case I'm the guilty party.

Lady (fairly senior role) within the company emails me saying she was expecting a package containing some disks which she needed urgently. Could I keep an eye out for them and let her or someone in her department know as soon as they arrive? Yes of course but I'm out of office for most of the day so will pass message along to my two colleagues.

I forward her email to the two guys and CC herself and her department saying Miss X urgently requires some DICKS and to give them to her ASAP.

Luckily she saw the funny side and she told me she had a good laugh on an otherwise stressful day

Paddy Cow

When I left a very small company (mother and son) and the son rang me asking me to delete gmail from my laptop, as he didn't think I should have access to their emails anymore. He couldn't seem to wrap his head around the idea that I couldn't delete gmail from my laptop and all he had to do was change his password. He kept arguing with me that I had to delete gmail :pac:

After much debate, I convinced him that the only thing he could do was change his password, which it turns out, he didn't know how to do. Even after going through the steps with him and making sure I didn't know the new password, he still was a bit suspicious that I could somehow hack into their system and play havoc :rolleyes: It was only when I said to him "try logging in with the old password" and he was denied access, was he happy that I could no longer access their emails.

as_mo_bhosca

Can I get an Irish Scotch?

There's something wrong with this bread. I think it's stale. It just breaks up when I try to butter it.
That's weet-a-bix, sir. It's a breakfast cereal. You put it in a bowl and add milk.

Cuddlesworth

I got asked to fix a Toaster. I was a low level desktop IT tech. I didn't know how to react. I just walked away.

panevthe3rd

In a meeting once discussing the problem of a field along the river being unusable during floods when one guy suggests that we could pump the floodwater back into the river. Everybody just pretended not to hear it and quickly moved on.

New Home

I was asked by my line manager to check first manually -with paper and pen- and then with a calculator the totals of a spreadsheet full excel calculations to make sure they were correct. :mad:

I was asked by a client if I had received a fax which he said he hadn't sent yet.

I had to have a conference call with a client and their counterparts - the counterparts didn't want to disclose their delivery details 'because that's confidential information' - how the hell can we deliver if you don't tell us where?!? :mad:

I was asked, 'If I photocopy a black and white picture with a colour photocopier, will it come out in colour? And if I print it from a colour printer?' For the love of puppies....:mad::rolleyes:

I struggled for months on end with a co-worker who could never find her excel files in word, and vice versa, and kept asking me for help. To her, opening excel or word, and opening a folder, were exactly the same thing... I had to explain to her that you keep your socks in your sock drawer, and your underpants in your underpants drawer, but that both drawers belonged to the same chest of drawers. *bangs head against the wall*

Plllenty more, I'll post them when they spring to mind.

RainyDay

New Home wrote: »

I struggled for months on end with a co-worker who could never find her excel files in word, and vice versa, and kept asking me for help. To her, opening excel or word, and opening a folder, were exactly the same thing... I had to explain to her that you keep your socks in your sock drawer, and your underpants in your underpants drawer, but that both drawers belonged to the same chest of drawers. *bangs head against the wall*

I sympathise with her. Separating files based on the file type is a terrible idea, and one of the worst structures that MS gave us with default Windows settings.

somefeen

Right so basicaly all of boards is IT people?

Not a clue what half of ye are on about

New Home

Personally, I'm not IT but I do work with computers... if you pardon the analogy, just because I have to drive a car it doesn't automatically make me a mechanic, although I know where the engine is...

razorblunt

I didn't work in IT, but used to run a "support" line:

'I can't find my printer...'
- 'This isn't the helpdesk, I can't do anything'
They refused to believe this as they kept ringing back and not ringing the proper helpdesk, reluctantly (and as I was the only person in the office at the time) I tried to help them...

-'Go into Control Panel ... Printer'
They cut me off with:
"No, no, I can print to it, I just can't find it on the floor".

'Print out 100 blank pages and walk to the noise' was all I could offer.

monkeysnapper

I once got given a box of green bananas from my duty manager and told to take them into office to show area manager . He was disgusted!!! . I Convinced him he'd be better taking them back out and putting back on sale to keep his future assistant manager promotion back on track .

ViveLaVie

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

thelad95

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

You could've just given him a straight answer instead of making a fool out of him. He'll probably be the laughing stock of the year now because of you.

RainyDay

razorblunt wrote: »

I didn't work in IT, but used to run a "support" line:

'I can't find my printer...'
- 'This isn't the helpdesk, I can't do anything'
They refused to believe this as they kept ringing back and not ringing the proper helpdesk, reluctantly (and as I was the only person in the office at the time) I tried to help them...

-'Go into Control Panel ... Printer'
They cut me off with:
"No, no, I can print to it, I just can't find it on the floor".

'Print out 100 blank pages and walk to the noise' was all I could offer.

The middle-aged female accounts clerk called the helpdesk.
Her: "My computer has gone down"
Me: "Oh, what happened, what were you doing"
Her: "Just a spreadsheet, then it crashed"
Me: "Any error message?"
Her: "No, it just switched off"
Me: "OK, can you switch it back on?"
Her: "Nothing is happening"
Me: "OK, how about the people around you?"
Her: "Yes, all their computers went down at the same time"
Me: "OK, how about the lights?"
Her: "Yes, all the lights went out at the same time too"
Me: "I think it might possibly be a power problem and not a computer problem. Maybe you should call the facilities guy?"
Her: "Really?"

thelad95

thelad95 wrote: »

Office jobs just sound like a cesspit of stupidity mixed with over-inflated ego's and annoying management heads with a few sane people left to pick up the slack. Much like the Office US in many ways.

Retail is exactly the same.

Whosthis

Stheno wrote: »

It would cost the company far less if you at least learned to figure out the basics.

I'd a "priority" call one time as the CEO couldn't log on. Turns out he'd plugged the network connection into his pc, then came in wondering why his laptop that he'd unplugged from it wouldn't log on.

It's not rocket science, it's cop on. Stats for calls to service desks which have a root cause of PEBCAK* are about 40%

That's an awful lot of money wasted, on a team of five techs that three you wouldn't need if users were educated.

*Problem exists between Chair and Keyboard

Sums are obviously not your strong point.

secondrowgal

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once got given a box of green bananas from my duty manager and told to take them into office to show area manager . He was disgusted!!! . I Convinced him he'd be better taking them back out and putting back on sale to keep his future assistant manager promotion back on track .

Ah here, am I completely losing it? (could very well be!!) I have no idea what this one is about either??

L'prof

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

Skinny hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows l.


Decaf coffee in general

I was asked for a strong decaf before

harrymagina

Work in I.T. and had to apply a content filter on a network. Anyway did that and my boss comes over to me and tells me try and break the filter by looking up porn for the next hour as the network can be used by minors where its located. Broke the filter anyway.

New Home

L'prof wrote: »

I was asked for a strong decaf before

The strength (and flavour) of the brew doesn't have much to do with the quantity of caffeine contained, but more with how long you brew the coffee for, and the amount of coffee you use.

Caffeine is removed before the coffee beans are even roasted.

So, you can have a strongly-flavoured decaffeinated coffee.

L'prof

New Home wrote: »

The strength (and flavour) of the brew doesn't have much to do with the quantity of caffeine contained, but more with how long you brew the coffee for, and the amount of coffee you use.

Caffeine is removed before the coffee beans are even roasted.

So, you can have a strongly-flavoured decaffeinated coffee.

I know all that, I just don't see the point personally.

somefeen

secondrowgal wrote: »

Ah here, am I completely losing it? (could very well be!!) I have no idea what this one is about either??

Bananas are green before they turn yellow. Your man thought they were gone off when actually they were just nice and fresh.

Faith+1

joe stodge wrote: »

Not so much in work.
I'm working for one of the German retailers, the last 3.5 years.
Working nights, stocking out and such. Good wage, alright contracted hours.

I've been applying for jobs recently, to test the waters.

I applied for one for a large lenster based retailer, working nights through an agency. There were no further details on the job.

Got a call back within the hour of applying, did I want an interview?
Ah sure go on.
Set it up for today at 4pm, I asked for further details, the lad said he'd email them on to me.

Received the email, the same poxy job I'm working now.

Rang the lad back saying I didn't want the interview as I already work for them. He said, come in anyway.
Not a chance I said, less per hour and a one year contract.
I'm on a permanent contract here.
He asked was I sure?
Dope.

I could only imagine applying for it just for the laugh only to be told you're not suitable.

ViveLaVie

thelad95 wrote: »

You could've just given him a straight answer instead of making a fool out of him. He'll probably be the laughing stock of the year now because of you.

I didn't make a fool out of her, she did that herself. My job is to teach the students to think critically. I genuinely thought once she questioned it she would realise herself.

sashafierce

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Someone who gives a better, greedier, more enthusiastic blow job to the GM I'd say.

ViveLaVie

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Was teaching LCVP in period 7 and English to 5th years in period 8. Hadn't cleaned the board so a business question was still on the board from the earlier class. It was something along the lines of: If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? We were studying King Lear at the time in English.

In walk my fifth years. Hand goes up. 'Miss, do we need to take down the question on the board?'

'Have a read of it there'

'I already read it Miss. Must we take it down?'

'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?'

'Miss, should I write it down or not?'

'That is a business question, Julie*.'

'So must we take it down?'

Nearly cried with despair.

Eh? I remember people like you from my own school days. I had to suffer people who's only ability to "teach" English or mathematics was based on them being an inter county hurler.

Responding to a genuine question with anything other than the answer, in your case a sarcastic smart ar$e "figure it out yourself" reply, only indicates a disinterested and lazy teacher. I mean no wonder kids in Ireland dislike education if you're what they have to suffer five days per week.

Please do us all a favor and find another job. Try scaffolding, because teaching isn't really working.

wandatowell

I fella in work told me one time he got a phone call asking him to fax up some blank paper as the guy had run out.

Tokyo

Deleted User wrote: »

Eh? I remember people like you from my own school days. I had to suffer people who's only ability to "teach" English or mathematics was based on them being an inter county hurler.

Responding to a genuine question with anything other than the answer, in your case a sarcastic smart ar$e "figure it out yourself" reply, only indicates a disinterested and lazy teacher. I mean no wonder kids in Ireland dislike education if you're what they have to suffer five days per week.

Please do us all a favor and find another job. Try scaffolding, because teaching isn't really working.

Hm... to be fair, if the student in question has to ask "If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?" has anything to do with King Lear, then trying to encourage a bit of lateral thinking on their part (i.e. 'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?') isn't exactly out of the question, no?

But then again, I went to a country school where my teacher was a former inter county hurler, so what would I know.... :rolleyes:

mike_ie

mike_ie wrote: »

Hm... to be fair, if the student in question has to ask "If John expands the business into the European market, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?" has anything to do with King Lear, then trying to encourage a bit of lateral thinking on their part (i.e. 'Does it seem like a question you would get on the play King Lear?') isn't exactly out of the question, no?

But then again, I went to a country school where my teacher was a former inter county hurler, so what would I know.... :rolleyes:

Well, maybe the job of a teacher is to "teach", and not sarcastically dismiss the questions of a teenager while assuming they're supposed to know everything without being taught.

If a child asks you "excuse me sir/miss, what's 2+2?" you say "four". If you say anything else, you're not very much of a teacher.