What 'presumptive' phrases get you really irritated?

suicide_circus

Officey people replying to your email

"I will revert back to you"

Meaning that they will literally morph back into you as if you are a more primitive version of themselves on the evolutionary scale like a human turning back into homo erectus.

FrKurtFahrt

"Let me put that in very simple terms for you......"
"In layman's language , what that means is....."

Day Lewin

"So you're saying that..."

No, I'm not. And I didn't say that and I don't even think that.

PizzamanIRL

"Thanks in advance"

First, you're presuming I'm going to do what you're asking.
Second, you almost always say thanks again when the job is done anyway.

martyos121

"Will ya do me a small favour?"

No I fecking won't, usually for two reasons.
1. It's anything but "small" and requires a great amount of effort.
2. Do it yourself you lazy geebag.

People requesting you do something by saying "you might send john an email / type that up / whatever"

Yeah ... I might not, either...

cloudatlas

Anything related to baseball, normally spoken by somebody in a tight business suit...

'let's touch base on that'

'that's a whole other ball game'

'Stepped up to the plate'

'He threw a curve ball'

'Right off the bat'

**** you baseball!

thelad95

'Sure look'

PLL

Duggy747 wrote: »

"Cheer up, it could be worse......"


*sounds of choking as I strangle them*

I tried to have a serious conversation with a friend once, about the fact I was very unhappy and thought I was suffering from depression and that is what they said to me. No wonder the suicide rate is so high. Irish people see to have the impression that unless your world is falling apart around you need to get on with things. This 'things could be worse' bullshít mentality.


One I never understood was 'Go fúck yourself'

thelad95

'What's for you, won't pass you by'

Ah feck off.

'I know exactly how you feel' - no, you don't.

'I'm just saying it how it is, I don't sugar-coat things to be PC' - I'm rude and obnoxious, and quite likely to be racist and/or sexist. I simply don't care how offensive or ill-informed I am, I expect to get away with it.

ratmouse

thelad95 wrote: »

'Sure look'

Sure listen

Fr_Dougal

I don't mean to interrupt you, but...

Fvck off you ignorant bollocks.

berger89

what's wrong with your face?

nothing. it's just my face.

RobbingBandit

Worst words in the English language, DO YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN...

NO I DON'T NOW **** OFF AND DIE.

blinding

Fvck off you ignorant bollocks.:)

NO I DON'T NOW **** OFF AND DIE.:)

TPD

BeerWolf wrote: »

Saying "literally" for anything but.

"I literally died right then and there I was so embarrassed!"

"He literally broke a leg trying to get there as fast as possible"

etc.

The definition of literally has been updated to encompass this new usage. The word has two directly contradictory meanings. This makes me more upset than it ought to.

deise08

deise08 wrote: »

'let's call a spade a spade.'

HalloweenJack wrote: »

"I'm not racist but..."

ha

USD Inflation Swap

TPD wrote: »

The definition of literally has been updated to encompass this new usage. The word has two directly contradictory meanings. This makes me more upset than it ought to.

As far as I'm concerned there is only one meaning of literally, the original meaning.

danrua01

USD Inflation Swap wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned there is only one meaning of literally, the original meaning.

But the fact is that language evolves, and it no longer only has one meaning.

Cee-Jay-Cee

You won't know this but....

"Basically......."

No. You don't need to dumb down your inane story about some mundane thing that happened to your stupid ugly self. I am perfectly able to comprehend the complexities of what "so-in-so" said to "whatshername". No need at all to break the nuances down to their most basic levels.

Patronising b@stards