Threatened by Housemates boyfriend

Sofiztikated

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Wait til he's not there, and ask yer wan, "What's the craic with Stabby McStabberson? Has he ever stabbed anyone?"

That is without doubt one of the fumiest comments I've heard in a while. I know it's a serious topic but I snotted into my coffee when I read this.

Superb.

beertons

He fancies you too, the big tease.

seamusk84

Dude, he actually said he wanted to stab you in your sleep. However you do it one thing has to happen, they both have to go.
Are you ever going to be comfortable living there with them now? Stabberson is the jealous type and also very unhinged. He is now paranoid about you and that is only going to get worse. If I were you I would be worried for my safety.
You can't go to the guards as drugs are involved so you need to deal with it yourself. Whatever anyway, just get them out!

fizzypish

lol. I remember having elements of this in my psyche when I was younger. I look back and cringe on how much of a narrow minded tard I was. I still am but bit less so.
Talk to your house mates (minus the GF). Get their input.
Talk to the GF. Ask her did you make her uncomfortable and apologize if so.
Finally, if you have everyone pretty much in agreement talk to the fellah. If he was willing to brandish a knife to intimidate you then he's probably woefully insecure. Unfortunately when you approach him he'll probably/maybe/possibly act like a cornered animal and start shouting mad max quotes ("2 men enter, one man leave" while slowly drawing the knife across his chest) and inviting you outside for a "discussion" so do it with some witnesses.

seventeen sheep

seamusk84 wrote: »

Dude, he actually said he wanted to stab you in your sleep. However you do it one thing has to happen, they both have to go.
Are you ever going to be comfortable living there with them now? Stabberson is the jealous type and also very unhinged. He is now paranoid about you and that is only going to get worse. If I were you I would be worried for my safety.
You can't go to the guards as drugs are involved so you need to deal with it yourself. Whatever anyway, just get them out!

Of course he can still go to the guards. It's not illegal to take drugs. As for offering them to someone else - it's a matter of hearsay, if it comes up. No reason for any mention of drugs to even come into the equation.

king_of_inismac

seventeen sheep wrote: »

Of course he can still go to the guards. It's not illegal to take drugs. As for offering them to someone else - it's a matter of hearsay, if it comes up. No reason for any mention of drugs to even come into the equation.

eh, strictly speaking I think it IS illegal to take drugs....

gazzamc

There was something else i found odd, he said i was bitchy to her... I didn't say hi to her today when i woke up, i was in a hurry and was half asleep. I presume that's what he meant as i was talking to her the day before.

well lets be honest both the drug thing and the knife thing will be your word against his if the guards come into it.
Id simply get rid of him. just tell yer wan he cannot come in anymore.
others are right, several people died at a party years ago after some lunatic stabbed them. you know nothing about this guy and what little you do, is not good!!

but for the record, I would go to the guards and give em a fright. don't mind the weed thing.. once there's a report of "threats" against him, he's on their mind. Providing you've no priors yourself.
surely she must know he's nuts anyway, id worry about her too.

in the end, it will teach you to keep your hands to yourself. Had I have just met you and you did that, you'd certainly be on my radar as a potential w*nker to watch.

pragmatic1

gazzamc wrote: »

There was something else i found odd, he said i was bitchy to her... I didn't say hi to her today when i woke up, i was in a hurry and was half asleep. I presume that's what he meant as i was talking to her the day before.

They're weirdos gazzamc. If I were you, I'd try and get rid of them both by any means necessary. Life is tough enough without having to deal with that bollox in your own house.

Stavro Mueller

gazzamc wrote: »

There was something else i found odd, he said i was bitchy to her... I didn't say hi to her today when i woke up, i was in a hurry and was half asleep. I presume that's what he meant as i was talking to her the day before.

You said he has been hostile from the get go. Expect more comments of this ilk. What's the bet she's feeding some of it too. This shyte is going to rumble on and on and lead to one toxic house. Have a chat with your other housemates with a view to getting the pair of them out.

gazzamc

Stavro Mueller wrote: »

You said he has been hostile from the get go. Expect more comments of this ilk. What's the bet she's feeding some of it too. This shyte is going to rumble on and on and lead to one toxic house. Have a chat with your other housemates with a view to getting the pair of them out.

Just told one of the housemates, she's not impressed.. Waiting on the other to wake up... I think he may have slipped out during the night (I oddly didn't hear him) as his car is gone.

Kevwoody

gazzamc wrote: »

Just told one of the housemates, she's not impressed.. Waiting on the other to wake up... I think he may have slipped during the night (I oddly didn't hear him) as his car is gone.

Call the cops op, he's obviously been murdered during the night

gazzamc

gazzamc wrote: »

There was something else i found odd, he said i was bitchy to her...

From what I have read so far it sounds like he is looking for a fight - has already decided he is going to get one - and is merely looking for minor points to jump all over now in an effort to cause one.

As others - including yourself - have said so far - approach the other house mates on an individual basis and calmly discuss your concerns - both at how he is abusing his privileges as a guest in the house - and his physical threats to murder you - and gauge their responses and positions. Then decide from there how to proceed next - with our help if you are willing to post the results of the discussions for us here.

Ihatecuddles

Kevwoody wrote: »

Call the cops op, he's obviously been murdered during the night

He was probably practicing his stabbing and accidentally maimed himself.

gazzamc

[Deleted User] wrote: »

From what I have read so far it sounds like he is looking for a fight - has already decided he is going to get one - and is merely looking for minor points to jump all over now in an effort to cause one.

As others - including yourself - have said so far - approach the other house mates on an individual basis and calmly discuss your concerns - both at how he is abusing his privileges as a guest in the house - and his physical threats to murder you - and gauge their responses and positions. Then decide from there how to proceed next - with our help if you are willing to post the results of the discussions for us here.

I was thinking the same, it was a bit much to threaten someone's life over a bit of weed... Of course I'll post the outcome here when/if it's resolved..

twin_beacon

gazzamc wrote: »

This probably isn't the best place to post it but oh well...

Anyway, my last housemate was kicked out for being a very dirty, ignorant person so we get a new one in about a month ago.. She has a BF who has been spending most nights here and uses the electricity ect... We've over looked it cuz well we're just glad to have a normal/ clean person in the house..

So we went out together as a group last week and I got a little drunk and offered the girl some weed (Myself and a friend we're planning on smoking and I was being polite), she said no and I thought nothing of it.

We ended up talking about the previous housemate and his disgusting behaviour.. I was saying how nice it was to have someone normal and clean, I then put my arm around her and said you complete the house.. I ment it as a friendly welcome and nothing else..

So fast forward to a few hours ago (about 1.30am) and I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of coke.. Everyone else were in their rooms (asleep I presume) and her BF is in the kitchen making something to eat.. I say hi and grab the coke about to return to my room when he calls me over..

I go over and he mentions the previous night and how I put my arm around his GF and said she completed the house.. I immediately say it meant nothing (which it didn't) and that I was only being friendly.. Then he mentions the weed.. Again I say I was only being friendly and she said no so why the issue..

I could clearly see he had something behind his back (best guess was a knife as he was buttering toast).. Then he says that when she told him what happened that he was going to go into my room and stab me in my sleep.. He then starts to move closer to me and I get a bit edgy.. I still had the 2ltr in my hands and I couldn't set it dwn or else he may get the wrong idea..

He says that if I ever offer his GF weed again he'll stab me, I say no problem it won't happen again, message received.. As I'm about to walk out he continues to move into my space (I didn't move an inch and was observing his movement, and had the coke bottle ready just I case he swung with the knife)...

Then he eagerly tries to get me to go outside to fight him.. It's really late and my housemates we're asleep so I didn't want to go outside.. Not sure if he wanted me to attack him first as he only ever moved closer.. I agree again to what he said and back up in to my room...

Anyway I'm not sure how to approach this situation, will I confront the GF or my landlady or what?

I don't take too kindly to threats, it was such a surprise I guess he caught me off guard.. Or I was in a very good mood (which I was until it happened) as I would have laced into him on any other night.. It's probably fortunate as I only spotted the knife late on..

So how will I approach this?

Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.

well if that was me, she would be getting her marching orders the next morning.

seventeen sheep

king_of_inismac wrote: »

eh, strictly speaking I think it IS illegal to take drugs....

My understanding is that it's illegal to sell drugs or hold drugs in your possession, but it's not actually illegal to take them.

I may be totally wrong, I've never taken drugs so I've never looked into it!

Pappacharlie

Sounds like the weed is having an affect on your thinking!!! I presume he was using a butter knife on his toast, hardly a weapon of choice to kill someone!! Lay off the weed!!!

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

pipelaser

nm wrote: »

That's what you took from the whole story?

Really??

He was probably so paranoid that he thought the guy had a knife behind his back.

The bottom line is, don't do drugs kids, they can get you into trouble.

gazzamc

Pappacharlie wrote: »

Sounds like the weed is having an affect on your thinking!!! I presume he was using a butter knife on his toast, hardly a weapon of choice to kill someone!! Lay off the weed!!!

I was sober as a judge, not everyone butters their toast with a butter knife, there's steak knifes in that drawer too.

gimli2112

It's important to act immediately when people tell you certain things
- Watch out, Bus!
- We need to get out it's on fire
- The angry mob is catching up

"I was thinking of stabbing you in your sleep" falls into this category.

Day Lewin

Those kind of possessive hostile blokes are bad, bad news and the housemate that is his GF will have cause to regret him.

But I hope that YOU don't have due cause sooner than her...tell the girl that the boyfriend has completely worn out any welcome he ever had, and is not wanted in the house that ye all pay rent for. That his actions are absurd and intimidating, jealousy was uncalled for and threats are intolerable.

Quit all that, or OUT with her and her dodgy boyfriend. Remind her that you've done it before (dumped a housemate) and gladly would again if needs be.

Drakares

pipelaser wrote: »

Do you try to deal or "offer" it to people too?
If the OP behaves like a scobe, the chances are he'll get into situations like this, with other scobes.

I'd say you're just mad craic at the houseparties.

fizzypish

seventeen sheep wrote: »

My understanding is that it's illegal to sell drugs or hold drugs in your possession, but it's not actually illegal to take them.

I may be totally wrong, I've never taken drugs so I've never looked into it!

But they need to be in your position so you can take them? I'm pretty sure if you tried to argue this point with a guard they'd head butt you.

Ihatecuddles

Pappacharlie wrote: »

Sounds like the weed is having an affect on your thinking!!! I presume he was using a butter knife on his toast, hardly a weapon of choice to kill someone!! Lay off the weed!!!

Well my husband played poker with a guy who stabbed his wife to death with a butter knife. He stabbed her so hard that the knife broke.

donegaLroad

Gather up all your stuff op.. and get out of that house asap, today would not be soon enough. Next thing is he will have his friends round, and no doubt they will be of the same breed.

Just disappear and forget about them. At least you will get out alive.

RonanP77

I've changed my mind on the earlier advice I gave you.

What you need to do is challenge him to a fight but specify that there are no weapons allowed. If you win, him and his Gf have to go. If you lose you move out and he gets your room. You can't get much fairer than that.

The Moldy Gowl

gazzamc wrote: »

I was sober as a judge, not everyone butters their toast with a butter knife, there's steak knifes in that drawer too.

Don't be ridiculous.

We live in a world of rules and names.

What good will that steak knife now be for cutting steak after it was used as a butter knife. Stop this madness at once

Menas

donegaLroad wrote: »

Gather up all your stuff op.. and get out of that house asap, today would not be soon enough. Next thing is he will have his friends round, and no doubt they will be of the same breed.

Just disappear and forget about them. At least you will get out alive.

This. The lad is a fruitcake. You dont know if these threats were empty or not, but why chance it.
Bail out of there. Fck your deposit. Small price to pay for peace of mind. Tell the landlord why you are bailing.

henryporter

pipelaser wrote: »

Do you try to deal or "offer" it to people too?
If the OP behaves like a scobe, the chances are he'll get into situations like this, with other scobes.

Thinly veiled I've never done drugs and can righteously pontificate against their usage ad nauseum post.

instofhorror

My interpretation would be that there was definite intent to come on to the girl, maybe not strong, but definite intent. You over stepped the housemate boundaries, (and it seems, the 'shes got a boyfriend' boundaries) it didn't work out, so suddenly you're bleating about housemate boundaries again. There are two issues - the first, and the one you've posted about is you had a row with a housemates bf. The second is that a housemate has a bf round all the time. This wasn't a problem until you had a row with him, so enforcing the second in an attempt to solve the first is stupid and petty.

Talk to him if you've a problem with his behaviour, dont run to her asking that he doesnt come back, that will make you look weak and a drama queen, but my best guess is thats exactly what you are, so it may be unavoidable.

The whole hard man stuff about being in a good mood or I'd have laced into him is laughable by the way. What sort of mood were you in when you went to the internet for advice?

gramar

Trigger Happy wrote: »

This. The lad is a fruitcake. You dont know if these threats were empty or not, but why chance it.
Bail out of there. Fck your deposit. Small price to pay for peace of mind. Tell the landlord why you are bailing.

Start running now OP and you'll be running for the rest of your life.

bjork

Maybe stabby just wanted to hot knife some hash with you?

RayCon

bet the smelly housemate doesn't seem that bad now.

seventeen sheep

RayCon wrote: »

bet the smelly housemate doesn't seem that bad now.

Hi OP's smelly housemate!

gazzamc

instofhorror wrote: »

My interpretation would be that there was definite intent to come on to the girl, maybe not strong, but definite intent. You over stepped the housemate boundaries, (and it seems, the 'shes got a boyfriend' boundaries) it didn't work out, so suddenly you're bleating about housemate boundaries again. There are two issues - the first, and the one you've posted about is you had a row with a housemates bf. The second is that a housemate has a bf round all the time. This wasn't a problem until you had a row with him, so enforcing the second in an attempt to solve the first is stupid and petty.

Talk to him if you've a problem with his behaviour, dont run to her asking that he doesnt come back, that will make you look weak and a drama queen, but my best guess is thats exactly what you are, so it may be unavoidable.

The whole hard man stuff about being in a good mood or I'd have laced into him is laughable by the way. What sort of mood were you in when you went to the internet for advice?

I assessed the situation and decided against action, I had no idea whether his threats were idle or not... Nor was I gonna take the chance, had he made a move I would have responded.. I didn't think the argument was worth getting a knife to the gut..

I don't know this guy and he did possess a knife, You'd be stupid to attack someone with a knife... Call me a drama queen all you like..

R P McMurphy

You need to get yourself a switchblade knife just in case.

They take your knife, you burn down their house with their family inside.

gazzamc

RayCon wrote: »

bet the smelly housemate doesn't seem that bad now.

He was more than just smelly, but yes lol

Hoop66

You need to speak to your other housemates first and explain the situation to them. Then you need to tell her what her boyfriend did/said. Explain to her that issuing threats is not acceptable and that he is not welcome in the house any more, assuming your other housemates back you up on this.

Then dust off, nuke the house from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

DoYouEvenLift

R P McMurphy wrote: »

You need to get yourself a switchblade knife just in case.

They take your knife, you burn down their house with their family inside.

Or hit them in the face with a yard stick

dodderangler

gazzamc wrote: »

I smoke the odd time. So threatening ppl with KNIVES is what grown ups do?

Fixed that for ya

gazzamc

Hoop66 wrote: »

You need to speak to your other housemates first and explain the situation to them. Then you need to tell her what her boyfriend did/said. Explain to her that issuing threats is not acceptable and that he is not welcome in the house any more, assuming your other housemates back you up on this.

Then dust off, nuke the house from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

I've already spoken to them and they agree, we're gonna speak to her today.

dodderangler wrote: »

Fixed that for ya

Thanks, In my defence i haven't slept all night.

DoYouEvenLift

gazzamc wrote: »

I've already spoken to them and they agree, we're gonna speak to her today.



Thanks, In my defence i haven't slept all night.

With the boyfriend present I hope?

SpaceTime

Put your safety and the safety of your housemates first.

Regardless of what provoked the guy, threatening to kill you in your own home is a very, very serious matter.

The threat's also premeditated as he's actually stated that he plans to do it while you're sleeping!

I think it's Garda time tbh.

gramar

gazzamc wrote: »

I've already spoken to them and they agree, we're gonna speak to her today.



Thanks, In my defence i haven't slept all night.

Don't tell me you were up giving it to her all night? How clearly do you need things to be spelled out?:pac:

gazzamc

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

With the boyfriend present I hope?

I'm going home today and if he's present fair enough but i can't be waiting around for him.

SpaceTime wrote: »

Put your safety and the safety of your housemates first.

Regardless of what provoked the guy, threatening to kill you in your own home is a very, very serious matter.

The threat's also premeditated as he's actually stated that he plans to do it while you're sleeping!

I think it's Garda time tbh.

I really don't want to escalate it.

dodderangler

In fairness ok you don't know this girl that long so you shouldn't of said anything about the weed not do you know her that long to be putting your arm around her either.
And you certainly don't know this lad either to know how he'd react.
I personally think he's bluffing on stabbing you hence why he asked for a fight instead.

hollster2

SpaceTime wrote: »

Put your safety and the safety of your housemates first.

Regardless of what provoked the guy, threatening to kill you in your own home is a very, very serious matter.

The threat's also premeditated as he's actually stated that he plans to do it while you're sleeping!

I think it's Garda time tbh.

I think so to what person in there right mind threatens to stab someone to death in there sleep and in your own house, you need to get this sorted now, he sounds like a right thug and I wonder if he is like that to his Gf he sounds like a controlling nutjob!

Ging Ging

So Stabby comes and goes noisily at all hours.
When he comes late at night does she let him in or has he his own key? This would be another concern if he does.
As for the drugs issue I don't think the Gardaí will give a **** about a small quantity unless you've a marijuana Christmas tree still up in the living room. Stabby might counter any allegations by making you out to be a pusher/dealer of various drugs trying to snare his innocent GF. If you get Gardai/landlord involved maybe get rid of any drugs in house first, you don't need to deny anything that happened though. That said you have no real evidence against him either so the best you can hope for is either (A) he no longer comes to house or (B) they both leave. A
Best to confront Stabby and GF together to prevent him having time to think about and change/deny what happened. A united front from other housemates on desired resolution would be essential too. If that doesn't work then get the landlord involved. This is serious.