General Chat Thread (PLEASE READ POST #1)

Faith

Addle wrote: »

I was going to go to the church alone and not go to the reception, but bride told me not to bother with church when I let her know.

:eek::eek:

Weren't you doing a reading?! What a bitch! Doesn't sound like there was much of a friendship there if she over-reacted like that.

Addle

Faith wrote: »

:eek::eek:

Weren't you doing a reading?! What a bitch! Doesn't sound like there was much of a friendship there if she over-reacted like that.

Ya, it's certainly made me think.
I feel bad about it all and she probably hasn't given it another thought.

Would many invitees turn up unexpected, as in they don't bother answering invitation, yet come anyway?

stargazer 68

Deleted User wrote: »

Would many invitees turn up unexpected, as in they don't bother answering invitation, yet come anyway?

Well they shouldnt do but Im sure some would. When my sister was doing her invites the woman who did them was saying that her daughter got married a couple of years ago.

When the date had passed and the replies hadn't been received she text everyone who hadn't responded and said 'so sorry you can't make it to the wedding - we were looking forward to seeing you'. Replies soon turned up

Sarah1916

Dovies wrote: »

Well they shouldnt do but Im sure some would. When my sister was doing her invites the woman who did them was saying that her daughter got married a couple of years ago.

When the date had passed and the replies hadn't been received she text everyone who hadn't responded and said 'so sorry you can't make it to the wedding - we were looking forward to seeing you'. Replies soon turned up

that is a great idea
Might try that when my time comes for receiving replies.
Nothing like a bit of scaremongering to get answers

ChampagnePop

Addle wrote: »

Ya, it's certainly made me think.
I feel bad about it all and she probably hasn't given it another thought.

Really sorry to hear, she doesn't deserve your friendship - your much better off without false people like that in your life.

stargazer 68

Sarah1916 wrote: »

that is a great idea
Might try that when my time comes for receiving replies.
Nothing like a bit of scaremongering to get answers

I will be adopting this approach myself!

Gatica

Deleted User wrote: »

Would many invitees turn up unexpected, as in they don't bother answering invitation, yet come anyway?

people are forgetful. The best thing to do is chase up any stragglers on the RSVP after the date you've given has passed. With friends we basically texted them, some facebooked and with family just gave them a buzz. I guess this would be more complicated if you're having a huge wedding.

SarahMollie

Deleted User wrote: »

Would many invitees turn up unexpected, as in they don't bother answering invitation, yet come anyway?

They should obviously but I think it depends on the personalities and relationships. For example, my OH had 3 invites addressed to him this year, he didnt reply to one of them, but that was really becouse he's close with the lads getting married and they already knew he (we) were going regardless, so everyone just took it as a given.

I'd 2 on my side, one was a colleague so I just told him in work that we'd be coming (that invite didnt contain an RSVP card, just phone numbers to text), and the other couple live out of the country but had a website set up, so I was able to RSVP using a form on that which was super easy.

I think giving people electronic options to RSVP is a good idea versus having to send back a card, although some people who are more traditional may not like this approach. As with many things about weddings, you can't please all of the people all of the time.

cactusgal

cactusgal wrote: »

Disclaimer: I know that weddings are expensive and that brides and grooms can ask (or not ask) anyone they want for their day. But. I just got an invite to a family wedding with no plus one. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we live together. Granted, the bridal couple barely know him, so I get it, but boo I know that it's an invite and not a summons, but I feel kind of obligated to go bc one of my siblings is coming from abroad to attend, they haven't been given a plus one either, and wouldn't like to go on their own. But I wish my boyfriend could come, too!!
Rant over.

Do you think it would be rude to ask if I can bring my boyfriend to the afters, or is that an etiquette no-no?

SarahMollie

cactusgal wrote: »

Do you think it would be rude to ask if I can bring my boyfriend to the afters, or is that an etiquette no-no?

My instinct is that it wouldn't hurt to ask. There would be very little financial impact on the couple by just having another guest for the afters, so you never know.

The only reason I can think of to refuse this request is if they've already not offered it to other people, but if there are others already with an afters invite, I can't see how its too much of an imposition.

Have you expressed your dissatisfaction at not getting a +1?

cactusgal

SarahMollie wrote: »

Have you expressed your dissatisfaction at not getting a +1?

Only on here and to my boyfriend!! I don't want to be rude or make a fuss, it's not that big a deal, just odd in that we've been together longer than the wedding couple. If numbers are an issue, I think it's better to extend an afters invite to the couple rather than a full invite to just one person.

My dads just had a serious turn. I'm typing this from beside his hospital bed. My wedding is just over 3 weeks away and he won't be able to be there.

This happened yesterday and the thought of wedding entered my head. I was so mad at myself for thinking about it. My sister brought the subject up today and said I can't just ignore that it's only a few weeks away and make some kind of decision.

I'm typing this to you's as it means not opening my mouth and talking. I don't know what to do.

lazygal

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

My dads just had a serious turn. I'm typing this from beside his hospital bed. My wedding is just over 3 weeks away and he won't be able to be there.

This happened yesterday and the thought of wedding entered my head. I was so mad at myself for thinking about it. My sister brought the subject up today and said I can't just ignore that it's only a few weeks away and make some kind of decision.

I'm typing this to you's as it means not opening my mouth and talking. I don't know what to do.

You poor thing. There is no need to make decisions about anything, focus on your dad and never mind the wedding. Things can always be sorted out at a later date.

But we have people travelling from a few countries. Others would have made reservations so it would be rude to ignore it. I'm dreading saying anything to my oh as he has family travelling too.

If I could, I'd ignore it but my sister is right, other people deserve to know.

Strawberry Milkshake

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

My dads just had a serious turn. I'm typing this from beside his hospital bed. My wedding is just over 3 weeks away and he won't be able to be there.

This happened yesterday and the thought of wedding entered my head. I was so mad at myself for thinking about it. My sister brought the subject up today and said I can't just ignore that it's only a few weeks away and make some kind of decision.

I'm typing this to you's as it means not opening my mouth and talking. I don't know what to do.

You poor thing. Concentrate on your Dad. I'm sure all the Wedding plans are well under way, so delegate to a close friend. Don't start changing plans. Keep strong. x x

Faith

So sorry to hear that, Strawberry . That's an absolutely awful situation for you. You need to do whatever you feel is best. Could you speak to your dad about it, if he's able for talking?

Toots

Aw Strawberry that's terrible, you poor thing, and your poor dad. Don't be mad at yourself that the wedding popped into your head, that's perfectly normal. It doesn't mean you're any less worried about your dad. What is your gut telling you to do? Have you a feeling on what you'd feel more comfortable doing?

Addle

Hope your dad is improving it at least has some relief strawberry.

Another Bridezilla story.

"When the bride finally found the wedding dress she liked - a stunning satin Marchesa gown that retailed at a staggering $10,500 - her friends soon received another group email.
She would really love it if we could 'pitch in' around $150 each towards her 'dream dress' - that it'd mean so very much to her
This one was entitled 'Bridesmaid dress contribution.' which made her break out in a cold sweat.
The long email outlined how the couple were now really over budget after the expensive outlay for the dress.
'It was "totally fine if you can't" but she would really love if we could "pitch in" around $150 each towards her "dream dress". That it'd mean so very much to her and would mean that as she walked down the aisle, she'd be wearing something we'd all had a part in.'
As the writer bluntly posts, Carol was 'essentially asking her bridal party to chip in for her dress'.
Aside from their own $550 bridesmaid outfit, the accommodation for the wedding, the hen's party, bridal shower AND three spa days planned, Carol's bridesmaids were also expected to chip in for Carol's dress.
'I nearly threw my phone across the room, such was the rage that consumed me,' the anonymous poster says.
'I'm starting to think I might have to bail on this wedding, and friendship.'"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3653595/Woman-tells-bride-friend-asked-chip-wedding-dress.html

Toots

Nooooope! I'd be sending 150 in monopoly money along with a letter or resignation from bridesmaid duties.

Sapphire

Some people really do lose the run of themselves in a wedding, don't they?

Toots

Sapphire wrote: »

Some people really do lose the run of themselves in a wedding, don't they?

I've said it before and I'll say it again; modding this forum is a real eye-opener!!

Gatica

we should have a reminiscing thread to recount all the tales... one that I remember is an aunt giving out that all her kids got their hopes up about going to the nephews wedding and how heartbroken they all were that they weren't invited, etc... except it was worded more "energetically".

Toots

Gatica wrote: »

we should have a reminiscing thread to recount all the tales... one that I remember is an aunt giving out that all her kids got their hopes up about going to the nephews wedding and how heartbroken they all were that they weren't invited, etc... except it was worded more "energetically".

I remember that one. IIRC she texted the bride basically telling her she was a bitch for not inviting her kids. Ah memories!

lazygal

Sapphire wrote: »

Some people really do lose the run of themselves in a wedding, don't they?

I am fairly certain no one could call me a bridezilla but I do cringe at some of the stuff I worried about in the runup to my wedding. We didn't have a huge fairytale day I had dreamed about since I was a little girl, it was a mid-size fairly standard Irish wedding. And yet I was worrying about the most irrelevant crap!

lazygal

Gatica wrote: »

we should have a reminiscing thread to recount all the tales... one that I remember is an aunt giving out that all her kids got their hopes up about going to the nephews wedding and how heartbroken they all were that they weren't invited, etc... except it was worded more "energetically".

There was a bride having a wedding out foreign who was giving out people weren't RSVPing to a wedding months beforehand, and they could have their holiday around her wedding so what was the problem.

Milly33

Strawberry so sorry to here, i hope your dad is doing better. And dont think badly of yourself for thinking like that, you want him to be there.. Perhaps ye could have something small with your dad before the wedding itself or after.. xxx thinking of you...

Laughing at the bridezilla stories what was the one recently where the bride and groom asked for more money in gifts tut tut.. I just have the friends of the family story which i must get to the end of one day, but one of lets say a close wedding party member all her friends got odd and her because one friend wasnt invited and that said friend after years of being their friend wont talk to them anymore, madness i never knew we were so popular

cactusgal

lazygal wrote: »

There was a bride having a wedding out foreign who was giving out people weren't RSVPing to a wedding months beforehand, and they could have their holiday around her wedding so what was the problem.

I remember that one! She wanted people to RSVP about 10 months ahead of time so they could plan their "hollier" around her wedding.

Pistachios & cream

Let's not forget the bride who didn't plan on feeding her guests and wanted the bridesmaid to pay for her own outfit and dinner. Legendary

ChampagnePop

ahayes84 wrote: »

Let's not forget the bride who didn't plan on feeding her guests and wanted the bridesmaid to pay for her own outfit and dinner. Legendary

They paid for the meal by opening the wedding gifts at the table if I remember correctly

XxMCRxBabyxX

ChampagnePop wrote: »

They paid for the meal by opening the wedding gifts at the table if I remember correctly

Nope, they only paid for their own food whilst flaunting the money in front of the rest of the guests, and those were only the guests lucky enough to be brought out for food!

Toots

ahayes84 wrote: »

Let's not forget the bride who didn't plan on feeding her guests and wanted the bridesmaid to pay for her own outfit and dinner. Legendary

I will never forget that thread!

Pistachios & cream

Toots wrote: »

I will never forget that thread!

Some fun modding that thread :P

Gatica

ChampagnePop wrote: »

They paid for the meal by opening the wedding gifts at the table if I remember correctly

and the bridesmaids got stranded at the photo location and had to get their own transport sorted out from there to the dinner. It was over very quickly I believe. Bride was gonna "chip in" for her bridesmaid's dinner, but wanted to do it on the QT so as not to upset the other guests who all had to pay up for themselves.

hotmatottie10

wow id love to read that thread, anyone got the link, amusing and shocking at the same time i imagine

Sapphire

hotmatottie10 wrote: »

wow id love to read that thread, anyone got the link, amusing and shocking at the same time i imagine

It was deleted for privacy I think. A shame because it was absolute gold, but mods had to do the right thing.

Rhyme

Plenty to feast your eyes on here; http://www.etiquettehell.com/archive_index.shtml

Someone linked to it in another thread and it's always good for a browse.

Toots

Sapphire wrote: »

It was deleted for privacy I think. A shame because it was absolute gold, but mods had to do the right thing.

The first one was deleted but the follow up thread is still around, although locked. I can't link cos I'm on my phone but if you search "cheapskategate" it should come up.

ChampagnePop

Rhyme wrote: »

Plenty to feast your eyes on here; http://www.etiquettehell.com/archive_index.shtml

Someone linked to it in another thread and it's always good for a browse.

That site is amazing - although some of the "outers" are divas themselves, reminds me of starting secondary school - all the dramz

ChampagnePop

Looking at wedding insurance - what company would you recommend? I'm looking at irishweddinginsurance.ie at the moment and it seems reasonable!

Gatica

That's the one we picked as well. Thought it was good value and covered all the important stuff for us.

ChampagnePop

Gatica wrote: »

That's the one we picked as well. Thought it was good value and covered all the important stuff for us.

Price seems reasonable! Hard to know if there would be issues with them if it's time to pay out.

ChampagnePop

ChampagnePop wrote: »

Price seems reasonable! Hard to know if there would be issues with them if it's time to pay out.

UPDATE: I tried to email them at info@irishweddinginsurance.ie and it wouldn't deliver- which seems very strange. Has anyone else used this company (irishweddinginsurance.ie)?

Gatica

That's the email I used with them too, but that was in 2011.

ChampagnePop

Gatica wrote: »

That's the email I used with them too, but that was in 2011.

I did some digging, they're registered with the regulator as a broker, so safe to use, but I think I'll go with a company with a working email address!!

Toots

Probably wise. The last thing you want is trouble trying to contact them in an emergency.

stargazer 68

Going to have a rant here! My 3 bridemaids are my daugher (23) and my 2 future step daughters (23 and 20). Now we all get along great - kids get along like a house on fire. However the 2 steps can be difficult in general with everyone! They have been no problems with choosing dresses etc so all going along.

Now I have been told that the younger one wants to sit with her BF or have him sit at the top table. No way the top table so she can sit with him - he's bloddy 21 and perfectly capable of making a conversation. We had him at a table with the same age group - anyway go along with that.

I did a facebook event for my hens drinks and invited everyone through that. I have now been advised that I need to personally invite the 2 steps rather than through FB!! Like WTF! My own daughter got a FB invite. The 2 girls have been horrible to their Dad the past couple of weeks and have said some awful things to him. So they can feck right off!! I dont need to pander to their sensitivities!!!

ChampagnePop

Dovies wrote: »

Going to have a rant here! My 3 bridemaids are my daugher (23) and my 2 future step daughters (23 and 20). Now we all get along great - kids get along like a house on fire. However the 2 steps can be difficult in general with everyone! They have been no problems with choosing dresses etc so all going along.

Now I have been told that the younger one wants to sit with her BF or have him sit at the top table. No way the top table so she can sit with him - he's bloddy 21 and perfectly capable of making a conversation. We had him at a table with the same age group - anyway go along with that.

I did a facebook event for my hens drinks and invited everyone through that. I have now been advised that I need to personally invite the 2 steps rather than through FB!! Like WTF! My own daughter got a FB invite. The 2 girls have been horrible to their Dad the past couple of weeks and have said some awful things to him. So they can feck right off!! I dont need to pander to their sensitivities!!!

Your completely right about the boyfriend, it will probably be an awkward day for him until the dancing but he's a grown man, if he wants to attend he can sit at a regular table like everyone else.

Is there any harm in dropping the two a text saying that you hope they're coming? Maybe they feel they should be more involved as they're BMs? How do you get on with their mum? If she's not happy about the wedding they could be put in a very hard place.

stargazer 68

ChampagnePop wrote: »

Is there any harm in dropping the two a text saying that you hope they're coming? Maybe they feel they should be more involved as they're BMs? How do you get on with their mum? If she's not happy about the wedding they could be put in a very hard place.

Oh I probably will - just gets on my nerves the little princesses!! Never met their mother but she is perfectly happy with the wedding - sent himself a lovely message when we got engaged so there is no problem there.