General Chat Thread (PLEASE READ POST #1)

ChampagnePop

Dovies wrote: »

Oh I probably will - just gets on my nerves the little princesses!! Never met their mother but she is perfectly happy with the wedding - sent himself a lovely message when we got engaged so there is no problem there.

I can't imagine they like being called princesses

Dovies

Dovies wrote: »

Oh I probably will - just gets on my nerves the little princesses!! Never met their mother but she is perfectly happy with the wedding - sent himself a lovely message when we got engaged so there is no problem there.

Maybe they're upset that you didn't trust them to organise the Hens. After all, isn't that one of the BMs duties?

LynnGrace

hotmatottie10 wrote: »

wow id love to read that thread, anyone got the link, amusing and shocking at the same time i imagine

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057262110

ChampagnePop

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Maybe they're upset that you didn't trust them to organise the Hens. After all, isn't that one of the BMs duties?

Ye I was thinking that - could be a misunderstanding?

treelights

Hi all,

Has anyone here come across this before? I was invited to a wedding at dinnertime (6 pm), but there's no dinner being served, just drinks and canapes. I totally understand not wanting to or being able to afford the typical wedding meal, but I think if you're just serving canapes, then 6 pm is very early. The wedding is in a very rural location and is not in a hotel (ie, no kitchen), so I'm planning on packing some sandwiches, etc., just so I won't be starving later. My OH thinks I'm being silly, but I dunno. I think the setup is a bit strange. Or maybe not?

Thoughts??

Addle

Can you not just have your main meal earlier in the day?

treelights

Addle wrote: »

Can you not just have your main meal earlier in the day?

Yes, of course I can. I was just wondering if this is a usual setup for a wedding. May be it is and I am out of the loop.

ChampagnePop

treelights wrote: »

Yes, of course I can. I was just wondering if this is a usual setup for a wedding. May be it is and I am out of the loop.

Well obviously not, but it's becoming more common, have a very small early meal and then a large evening event.
I went to one (full invite) and the finger food and wine reception was very generous, all the guests enjoyed the night!

EDIT: Just to add, the bride really didn't want too much attention so that's why they chose this format, it wasn't about penny pinching, she just wanted to be able to enjoy her wedding day and this format worked for them

Pistachios & cream

It is a bit strange, I have been invited to evening weddings (and my sister actually had one) but they usually start a bit later more like 7:30 -8 and don't clash with a traditional meal time.

Usually if you are invited to an event taking place during a traditional meal time then a meal would be provided.

treelights

ahayes84 wrote: »

It is a bit strange, I have been invited to evening weddings (and my sister actually had one) but they usually start a bit later more like 7:30 -8 and don't clash with a traditional meal time.

Usually if you are invited to an event taking place during a traditional meal time then a meal would be provided.

Yes, that's what I thought was strange about it, the fact that it's at dinnertime but no dinner. No big deal, just wanted to see what others thought. I would have thought that a canape reception would normally start around 8 pm, but having said that, I've never actually been to one, so perhaps not.

Addle

Your dinner time!
We have our big meal of the day at around 1.

treelights

Addle wrote: »

Your dinner time!
We have our big meal of the day at around 1.

Everybody is different. With most people working full time nowadays, I'd imagine most people have dinner / main meal after work, ie in the evening.

Addle

I'm lucky in that I work close to where I live.

We often stop between ceremonies and receptions for a snack/bite to eat depending on times and distance to reception venue.

You've been told not to expect a big meal, so I'd prepare for advance if I was you, not for after the party.

Electric Sheep

treelights wrote: »

Yes, that's what I thought was strange about it, the fact that it's at dinnertime but no dinner. No big deal, just wanted to see what others thought. I would have thought that a canape reception would normally start around 8 pm, but having said that, I've never actually been to one, so perhaps not.

Maybe it's a cocktail reception and attendees are expected to leave at 8 for their own dinner arrangements? Not everyone wants the current trend for 18 hour weddings.

Addle

Just getting ready to leave for our 7th wedding of the year today.
Only 6 more left!
Haven't gone to all we've been invited to either.

A cocktail reception sounds very appealing to me now!

treelights

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Maybe it's a cocktail reception and attendees are expected to leave at 8 for their own dinner arrangements? Not everyone wants the current trend for 18 hour weddings.

No, it's drinks and canapes at 6 followed by music and dancing, the usual setup apart from the dinner.

ChampagnePop

treelights wrote: »

No, it's drinks and canapes at 6 followed by music and dancing, the usual setup apart from the dinner.

I think this kind if set up is great, I think it'll be a lot more common going forward as people move away from the traditional irish wedding!!

Toots

I think it depends on how liberal a serving of canapes they have. I was at one of those canapes and then dancing receptions and there was probably more food served there than for dinner at some weddings we'd been to! Everyone was stuffed, and by the time the dancing started I was ready to go sleep it off, like after Christmas dinner :pac:

baby and crumble

Addle wrote: »

Just getting ready to leave for our 7th wedding of the year today.
Only 6 more left!
Haven't gone to all we've been invited to either.

A cocktail reception sounds very appealing to me now!

How many people do you know?? I'm 34 and I've been to 7 weddings TOTAL in my life! And that includes 2 when I was a little kid!

Addle

Fab meal just finished. No speeches.

I thought my wedding days were over me, but this year will be the busiest.
Most are my OHs family and friends.
Most on a work day and away from home, so no holiday for us this year.

A few are 'older' couples marrying within a year of meeting, so I didn't even know some of the people involved this time last year!

Addle

What do you think is the minimum amount of notice hosts should give to guests when inviting them to a wedding/party?

SarahMollie

Addle wrote: »

What do you think is the minimum amount of notice hosts should give to guests when inviting them to a wedding/party?

I think I heard 6 weeks somewhere once.

Personally I'd be inclined to give a bit more, many 10 weeks at least. There are other factors of course, like if people will likely need to book accommodation which you know will be in short supply, then they need an early warning.

I'm going to 5 weddings this year but we've known about all of them well in advance because they're all either good friends of mine or my OH, so the actual invite was always a formality.

Pistachios & cream

Addle wrote: »

What do you think is the minimum amount of notice hosts should give to guests when inviting them to a wedding/party?

Dunno, it depends on the setup. Ideally for a traditional Irish wedding i'd want about 4 weeks notice. just from a practical point of view as my weekends can be pretty booked up.

Also if you are planning a traditional wedding then you usually have your date and venue booked long in advance so theres no excuse not to give guests notice

However if it was a more casual/off the cuff affair it wouldn't bother me to be asked a week in advance.

ahayes84

ahayes84 wrote: »

Dunno, it depends on the setup. Ideally for a traditional Irish wedding i'd want about 4 weeks notice. just from a practical point of view as my weekends can be pretty booked up.

Also if you are planning a traditional wedding then you usually have your date and venue booked long in advance so theres no excuse not to give guests notice

However if it was a more casual/off the cuff affair it wouldn't bother me to be asked a week in advance.

What do you consider a traditional Irish wedding? The norm of 25 or 50 years ago? Both differ vastly and also differ from what is considered the norm now!
50 years ago, couples got married in the morning and had a "Wedding Breakfast" with immediate family, before heading away on Honeymoon - often just a couple of days within Ireland. 25 years ago, couples got married early afternoon, followed by reception and dancing. Nowadays, couples get married on a Friday and the party continues through Saturday and Sunday!

Addle

Just an idea a mate has. Recently engaged. Already feeling pressure.
She's thinking of an evening meal and dancing, but having honeymoon in advance and just giving 2 weeks notice to invitees to avoid any discussions!!!
There's lots of agro in her family.
Her h2b isn't in agreement though.

I don't think I'd mind relatively little notice.
You can either go or you can't.
She's have to expect higher refusal rate anyways.

Pistachios & cream

Deleted User wrote: »

What do you consider a traditional Irish wedding? !

By traditional i mean a full day wedding, ceremony, followed by a reception.

Pistachios & cream

Addle wrote: »

Just an idea a mate has. Recently engaged. Already feeling pressure.
She's thinking of an evening meal and dancing, but having honeymoon in advance and just giving 2 weeks notice to invitees to avoid any discussions!!!
There's lots of agro in her family.
Her h2b isn't in agreement though.

I don't think I'd mind relatively little notice.
You can either go or you can't.
She's have to expect higher refusal rate anyways.

Sounds lovely. My sister did something similar. Had immediate family at ceremony and dinner afterwards. Big party that evening with a buffet. She invited people for 7pm and her invitations were sent 2 weeks before hand.

ChampagnePop

Addle wrote: »

Just an idea a mate has. Recently engaged. Already feeling pressure.
She's thinking of an evening meal and dancing, but having honeymoon in advance and just giving 2 weeks notice to invitees to avoid any discussions!!!
There's lots of agro in her family.
Her h2b isn't in agreement though.

I don't think I'd mind relatively little notice.
You can either go or you can't.
She's have to expect higher refusal rate anyways.

I think that's a lovely idea, I'd be surprised if friends had an issue, it's more a thing family care about.

If the h2b doesn't want it though, it's not really fair on her to push it, it's both their special day.

Addle

ChampagnePop wrote: »

I think that's a lovely idea, I'd be surprised if friends had an issue, it's more a thing family care about.

If the h2b doesn't want it though, it's not really fair on her to push it, it's both their special day.

She agrees. That's probably why it won't happen.

tea_and_cake

Not sure where to post this but said here is a good bet.

I was freaking out about the wedding invites, I didn't really want hard copy invites as I hate waste and also thought online was easier. But he wanted them so I started researching. The cost of some of them - I was freaking out and very upset as it was going to cost about €400 and that's too much when most people would bin them.

A friend recommended brideandgroomdirect.ie and WOW, the selection is fantastic, the price range is great, real budget to luxury and you can get as many free samples. Quality invites also. Haven't ordered yet but probably will go with them. They also do 10%/15% sales.

GingerLily

I'm probably over planning - not getting married for 12 months plus at this stage, but what are people's opinions of bride's walking themselves down the aisle?

My own father's passed away and I can't be certain of my grandfathers health. I don't mind the idea myself but on the day it might be very nerve racking to have no one there for the long walk up!

Addle

Go for it.
No need to be 'given away'.
Are you having bridesmaids?
You can follow close behind them if it'd make you more comfortable.

GingerLily

GingerLily wrote: »

I'm probably over planning - not getting married for 12 months plus at this stage, but what are people's opinions of bride's walking themselves down the aisle?

My own father's passed away and I can't be certain of my grandfathers health. I don't mind the idea myself but on the day it might be very nerve racking to have no one there for the long walk up!

My 2 sisters had the same problem. One, Mam walked her down the aisle, but the second one I, as her Matron of Honour did the job! I found it very emotional, actually!

ChewChew

GingerLily wrote: »

I'm probably over planning - not getting married for 12 months plus at this stage, but what are people's opinions of bride's walking themselves down the aisle?

My own father's passed away and I can't be certain of my grandfathers health. I don't mind the idea myself but on the day it might be very nerve racking to have no one there for the long walk up!

I think it's good to thrash out ideas and thoughts on things like this. My dad has also passed away so I'm getting my nephew to walk with me. He'll be almost ten at the time so I think it'll be a nice touch

Michellenman

GingerLily wrote: »

I'm probably over planning - not getting married for 12 months plus at this stage, but what are people's opinions of bride's walking themselves down the aisle?

My own father's passed away and I can't be certain of my grandfathers health. I don't mind the idea myself but on the day it might be very nerve racking to have no one there for the long walk up!

A friend in a similar situation walked half way by herself and her husband walked towards her and then they continued to the top of the aisle together. I thought it was lovely

GingerLily

I think that's a perfect idea, there's a few steps right before the "alter" that I'd be a bit anxious to walk up alone in a big dress. I've talked the G2B and he is now demanding that he gets his own entrance* if we're not being traditional!

He of course loves the idea of us going the last few steps together hand in hand

*he was joking, I think

baby and crumble

As two women who aren't really into the whole "giving away" thing we're doing our own thing similar to what has been mentioned. My Dad no more wants to walk me down the aisle than the man in the moon and my partners "Father" is a prick by all accounts and I've never met him so sod that.

We're lucky in that our venue has two side doors opposite each other (if we rearrange the layout slightly from the way it's normally laid out) so we're both going to walk in from a side door following our bridal parties and meet in the middle of the aisle and walk up the rest together. We'll have been together for 13 years by the time we're getting married so that seems fitting. Walk some alone (to show off outfits, obvs :P), walk the rest together.

tea_and_cake

Our guest list is expanding. It will get interesting. Weddings really bring out all emotions...

Has anyone bought from JJ House? They have fab fake fur shrugs for €20 but wondering about customs. My sister lives in Canada so that may work but just want to check if anyone got stuff?

Thanks

kitten_k

GingerLily

Need advice for figuring out rough timelines for the wedding day, it's a relatively DIY day so there is no hotel to control it!

I was thinking
3pm ceremony (guest arrive for 2.30, short ceremony 30 mins max)
4pm drinks reception
5.30 dinner bell and speeches
6.30 dinner
8.30 band set up
9pm first dance

How does this sound? Trying to figure out for my photographer, we've 8 hours and I really want to get in the first dance so 2pm to 10pm should work?

Gatica

That sounds about same as the timing we had. Ours worked out like clockwork that way, but that's unusual. You can try to aim for that but from other people's weddings, I can say that speeches and therefore dinner run way overtime, so starting first dance on time is really rare.

GingerLily

I should have said 5.15 dinner bell 5.30 speeches - is an hour not long enough? I thought that'd be loads of time, I guess its something to be aware of.

pooch90

If you are allocating an hour for speeches before the meal, I'd be prepared for some restless, hungry and pissed off guests tbh....

SarahMollie

pooch90 wrote: »

If you are allocating an hour for speeches before the meal, I'd be prepared for some restless, hungry and pissed off guests tbh....

Yeah from the weddings I've been at this year the shortest was 14 minutes, and the longest was 1hr 12 minutes..... I know which I preferred!

GingerLily

pooch90 wrote: »

If you are allocating an hour for speeches before the meal, I'd be prepared for some restless, hungry and pissed off guests tbh....

There will be canap sat 4 and dinner at 6.30 (under this time plan), if I moved the speeches back and pushed dinner up to 5.30 I think that would be too early no?

GingerLily

Meant to add, I expect the speeches to be more in the 45 minute mark!

GingerLily

I'm trying to estimate how long the day should take roughly from ceremony to first dance, the order of when the speeches are doesn't really matter so long as there's enough time, so it's better to overestimate the speeches!

pooch90

It all depends on how your wedding is working, you say you have no hotel-is it a marquee somewhere? Is it outside caterers, are there meal options that need to be taken from guests etc? Do your guests have far to travel? Can they get something substantial to eat nearby etc?

A lot of questions but all relevant.

IE if you have guests travelling over an hour, they may not have had breakfast or lunch (I know we rarely get a chance to eat before heading to a wedding-dropping off kids etc) by the time the ceremony is over we are starving. canapes wouldn't ease real hunger and then you get called for the meal-hurray we are getting fed. Oh the speeches are first-an hour later and you're hangry. Then you've got the people who haven't eaten but have been laying into the bar since end of ceremony.

An idea I liked was to slot speeches in during the meal-most hotels won't allow it but if you have caterers they may be more open to it.

An earlier dinner would never be a bad thing IMO, it gives the food a chance to settle before the band kicks off. I know the idea of having the speeches first is for the nerves of the speakers but you'll have X amount of guests to consider too. The speakers will be nervous in the lead up to it regardless.


If your main concern is the photographer-2 to 10pm should cover most of it. Do you not plan on having any photos of the prep in the morning though? Could you add extra hours to alleviate stress?

GingerLily

Yes its a marquee wedding. I'm not too bothered about where the speeches slot in right now, so I'd prefer not to lectures on speeches before dinner, lol!!
Oh and everyone should be down the night before the wedding and within a 10 minute drive, but I'll find out of anyone's coming straight to the venue and have a few sandwiches and refreshments ready for them.

The photographer will be there for an hour before the ceremony, I don't want too many getting ready photos, from what I've seen on wedding blogs they seem to take up half of the pictures taken for some weddings, which seems a bit much

fima

Went and viewed a venue today, I really like it, its close to home and they are available on the date we want (10 months from now) .... only issue is if I book it then I will actually have to start wedding planning and the thought of it gives me anxiety. Also, I want a small intimate ceremony and party after, OH wants the full day.

I never planned on getting married, never felt it was something I wanted/needed and now suddenly I'm looking at 170 guests