Fair City [News, Spoilers & Discussion v5] Read Post #1 Before Contributing

CollyFlower

coolhull wrote: »

Gardai in Carrigstown have their priorities right, thank God......

A young teenager kills her dad in a bloodless stabbing incident.
Gardai perform a very low-key, two-day investigation, no charges preferred. Nothing to see here.

A son swindles his own mother out of nearly a million quid.
Gardai not informed, and have no interest anyway.

Expensive cars are stolen from garage owned by the local entrepeneur
Gardai can't be bothered to make any inquiries.

A healthy, (if rather weird looking) young man, regularly appears to have had seven shades of sh*te belted out of him in illegal boxing contests.
Gardai have the day off, and anyway,suffering from 'blue flu' .

A restauranteur is threatened with gangland violence if she doesn't come up with 4 thousand quid ''by Friday''
Gardai are busy counting a brown envelope full of cash, and divvying it up among themselves ......


But kick over your own wheelbarrow containing four carrots, two parsnips and a turnip, or toss around your own empty flowerpots on private ground, and the heavy hand of the law comes down on you like a ton of manure, with warnings that if you kick said wheelbarrow one more time, you may well end up serving time in the Dochas Centre of Mountjoy Penitentiary, perhaps sharing a cell with the Scissors Sisters or the Black Widow Catherine.



Rough justice, tough love.....

Brilliant post, Coolhull, spot on! ... .. I'm following Fin now, I want to know if he /she gets their popcorn!

sligojoek

coolhull wrote: »

Gardai in Carrigstown have their priorities right, thank God......

A young teenager kills her dad in a bloodless stabbing incident.
Gardai perform a very low-key, two-day investigation, no charges preferred. Nothing to see here.

A son swindles his own mother out of nearly a million quid.
Gardai not informed, and have no interest anyway.

Expensive cars are stolen from garage owned by the local entrepeneur
Gardai can't be bothered to make any inquiries.

A healthy, (if rather weird looking) young man, regularly appears to have had seven shades of sh*te belted out of him in illegal boxing contests.
Gardai have the day off, and anyway,suffering from 'blue flu' .

A restauranteur is threatened with gangland violence if she doesn't come up with 4 thousand quid ''by Friday''
Gardai are busy counting a brown envelope full of cash, and divvying it up among themselves ......


But kick over your own wheelbarrow containing four carrots, two parsnips and a turnip, or toss around your own empty flowerpots on private ground, and the heavy hand of the law comes down on you like a ton of manure, with warnings that if you kick said wheelbarrow one more time, you may well end up serving time in the Dochas Centre of Mountjoy Penitentiary, perhaps sharing a cell with the Scissors Sisters or the Black Widow Catherine.



Rough justice, tough love.....

Yeah, but in fairness, Deegan is a great man to spot a broken tail-light.

VickieVexed

coolhull wrote: »

Gardai in Carrigstown have their priorities right, thank God......

A young teenager kills her dad in a bloodless stabbing incident.
Gardai perform a very low-key, two-day investigation, no charges preferred. Nothing to see here.

A son swindles his own mother out of nearly a million quid.
Gardai not informed, and have no interest anyway.

Expensive cars are stolen from garage owned by the local entrepeneur
Gardai can't be bothered to make any inquiries.

A healthy, (if rather weird looking) young man, regularly appears to have had seven shades of sh*te belted out of him in illegal boxing contests.
Gardai have the day off, and anyway,suffering from 'blue flu' .

A restauranteur is threatened with gangland violence if she doesn't come up with 4 thousand quid ''by Friday''
Gardai are busy counting a brown envelope full of cash, and divvying it up among themselves ......


But kick over your own wheelbarrow containing four carrots, two parsnips and a turnip, or toss around your own empty flowerpots on private ground, and the heavy hand of the law comes down on you like a ton of manure, with warnings that if you kick said wheelbarrow one more time, you may well end up serving time in the Dochas Centre of Mountjoy Penitentiary, perhaps sharing a cell with the Scissors Sisters or the Black Widow Catherine.



Rough justice, tough love.....

I haven't laughed a lot in recent months....but your post made me laugh out loud.

fin12

CollyFlower wrote: »

Brilliant post, Coolhull, spot on! ... .. I'm following Fin now, I want to know if he /she gets their popcorn!

hahahha Il let you know Collyflower, Il be heading up to Galway, only been there once before, nice place:):)

Flippyfloppy

Fantastic post coolhul!!

Sephiroth_dude

coolhull wrote: »

Expensive cars are stolen from garage owned by the local entrepeneur
Gardai can't be bothered to make any inquiries.

..

That same guy is running the local pub with sour puss

The Talking Bread

walshb wrote: »

I don't think she is. This woman has invaded her space/her house (out of nowhere) and is now looking like she's trying to win back her "son." What do you expect Jo to be like? The bond Jo has with her son is like any mother/child bond. The most powerful on earth. For that to be threatened by someone quite capable of damaging that bond must be very worrying for a mother.

Similar to when Callum, the toe rag arrives on Paul's door demanding this and that, and Niamh was upset, and folks here where saying she was OTT....

Wow, is that my first serious post here?

Niamh was very much out of order telling Paul to forget about getting to know his son when he arrived. Watch the initial two weeks again and her agenda made no sense? She wouldn't have any kids without Paul herself so surely she should have understood that Paul couldn't reject his own son turning up at his doorstep. Would you? Granted about a month later Callum started acting up then she had a legitimate excuse but at the time callum was essentially a young lad loozing for guidance and needed his father's help. but it was before that Niamh took issue wit it. She acted like his agenda was to steal paul away from her. It was baffling and very annoying. And she was also angry at Paul for having sex with someone in the first place! FGS she had no idea who Paul was at that stage even!!

coolhull

The Talking Bread wrote: »

at the time callum was essentially a young lad loozing for guidance and needed his father's help.

Yet Callum strolled out the gates of the RTE carpark months ago and hasn't been seen since. Nobody, including his father or mother, ever went looking for him or made any queries.
Is he in Kilkenny? Galway? Cork? Or maybe even Mallow?
When you leave Carringstown, you're history. Nobody ever mentions your name again. Gone, but also forgotten.....

The Talking Bread

coolhull wrote: »

Yet Callum strolled out the gates of the RTE carpark months ago and hasn't been seen since. Nobody, including his father or mother, ever went looking for him or made any queries.
Is he in Kilkenny? Galway? Cork? Or maybe even Mallow?
When you leave Carringstown, you're history. Nobody ever mentions your name again. Gone, but also forgotten.....

It really was ridiculous that they were too cheap to bring him to a place other than the f'in roundabout outside rte to thumb!! I mean it showed someone pull up also! He had no idea what exit they were even going to take off the roundabout! Just hopped in and spun the bottle metaphorically and wherever they went he went!! Ffs they could have been just driving to the shops! Who thumbs these days and more importantly who picks up a young dodgy looking man with a mohican haircut on a dark night at a roundabout thumbing.................

jos28

Does anyone remember when the Fahys ''got' Ben, was Dermot put on the birth cert as the father ? I've a vague memory that Deirdre named him as father because she didn't want Brendan's name on the cert. They didn't go through the proper adoption procedures.

Does Ben know about the birds and the bees and if so will he think that Dermot and Deirdre did the bold thing

fin12

The Talking Bread wrote: »

It really was ridiculous that they were too cheap to bring him to a place other than the f'in roundabout outside rte to thumb!! I mean it showed someone pull up also! He had no idea what exit they were even going to take off the roundabout! Just hopped in and spun the bottle metaphorically and wherever they went he went!! Ffs they could have been just driving to the shops! Who thumbs these days and more importantly who picks up a young dodgy looking man with a mohican haircut on a dark night at a roundabout thumbing.................

sure he could have been picked up by a serial killer so, hitchhiking is very dangerous.

coolhull

Is Dermot finally growing a pair?

Bullocks

coolhull wrote: »

Is Dermot finally growing a pair?

Hope he uses them on Deirdre if he does I'm sick of that hippie Jo going around talking out of her nose

walshb

Charlotte is going to fix the allotment up after her outburst. Why doesn't Cass tell her that he already put the 2 carrots in the ground, and lifted the wheelbarrow up?

Sephiroth_dude

I love this thread

coolhull

Off-topic, but did anyone else have trouble connecting to Boards last night? Fault 203?

VickieVexed

coolhull wrote: »

Off-topic, but did anyone else have trouble connecting to Boards last night? Fault 203?

I couldn't get on Boards at all yesterday.

walshb

coolhull wrote: »

Off-topic, but did anyone else have trouble connecting to Boards last night? Fault 203?

Fault 503. Server host errors all day, and today as well.

walshb

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

I love this thread

It's pure quality. The best part is that is has fook all structure. It just happens.

Sephiroth_dude

walshb wrote: »

It's pure quality. The best part is that is has fook all structure. It just happens.

I hope fair city never fire there writers

coolhull

walshb wrote: »

Fault 503. Server host errors all day, and today as well.

I think an apology would be in order?

threetrees

Great to see Sash back. Hope it lasts!

The Talking Bread

Apparently Fair City writer' parents hacked boards.ie last night to allow them a night off from inevitable criticism/slagging/ridicule from the episode. Speaking to Joe Duffy this morning one of the parents of the production team outlined how upset their children get from reading the online thread. "My Adam is just 8 years of age. He has been the head of production and script editing for Fair City since he was a toddler. He tries his best and RTE feel he is the man for the job despite his age and the fact he is deaf and blind . He doesn't understand the abuse the writing team gets on the Boards forum nor do the rest of the team who all made their communion last year" said Ms. Drew. Peacock. RTE failed to comment.

reeta

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Apparently Fair City writer' parents hacked boards.ie last night to allow them a night off from inevitable criticism/slagging/ridicule from the episode. Speaking to Joe Duffy this morning one of the parents of the production team outlined how upset their children get from reading the online thread. "My Adam is just 8 years of age. He has been the head of production and script editing for Fair City since he was a toddler. He tries his best and RTE feel he is the man for the job despite his age and the fact he is deaf and blind . He doesn't understand the abuse the writing team gets on the Boards forum nor do the rest of the team who all made their communion last year" said Ms. Drew. Peacock. RTE failed to comment.

Sitting in work, trying not to let anyone see my tears of laughter at this post. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant

threetrees

Great to see Sash back. Hope it lasts!

The Talking Bread

threetrees wrote: »

Great to see Sash back. Hope it lasts!

Considering this is the Fair City thread it's apt you are repeating this line again! Keep up the repetition and you could get a job as an actor in Carringstown. ......

"I want my money"

TWO HOURS LATER "I want my money"

THE NEXT DAY: "Where's my money"

A Day later" ok get my money by tomorrow or there will be consequences ( or as Flynn would say...Conn Suu Kwennn Susss)"

A Day later "you have until next week to get me my money.... I don't care how.... embezzle your ma, sell some carrots, set up a highly successful one van courier company, throw a fight, rob a nusses bag, steal money from a charity box in The Hungry Pig.....just get me the money. IF you don't I'll ask you again...and again.....and again.....and again"

Agent Smith

I wonder what Sash did to get sent to prison?


I bet she didn't pay her water charges.....

Agent Smith

Incidently, I've never heard anyone in carraigstown ever mention water protests, or have ever seen Irish Water installing meters...



Have they got an exemption?

The Talking Bread

Agent Smith wrote: »

Incidently, I've never heard anyone in carraigstown ever mention water protests, or have ever seen Irish Water installing meters...



Have they got an exemption?

They all buy their water in Spar or Vinos. They all bring laundry to Jo and they get their daily shower from carols spit as she talks to them.

Tranceypoo

VickieVexed wrote:

I couldn't get on Boards at all yesterday.

Same here