Advice on rehoming an unhappy adult cat

magicmushroom

Hi All

So, first of all I'd like to say that even considering this is truly breaking my heart, so I don't want any negativity or nasty comments please.

I have 3 cats. I live alone in a 2 bedroom house, I seperated from my husband last year.
I ended up with 3 cats after fostering for a local animal charity and I always founf it hard to give them back!
Anyway, I don't foser anymore.

So...my middle cat is a sweetheart, very shy and not a lap cat at all but does love a good stroke and forehead kisses. Loves snuggling up in the bed with me when the others are downstairs.

The problem is, the other 2 bully her terribly. She doesn't fight back, just cowers away, which they know so they target her.
She is incredibly nervous around them, and only seems happy when it's just me and her.
The bullying and nervousness has led to her having bald patches where she constantly picks and scratches at herself which I know is a sign of distress, she also CONSTANTLY pees in the house...in the kitchen, in the bedroom, anywhere...it's got to a point where I have to check the house all the time for pee, I am paranoid that it smells, I have to keep throwing away handbags etc and I just can't cope anymore.
I have tried everything I can think of...seperating them at night and having her up in the bedroom with me, leaving her in the house when I'm at work and putting the other 2 out, feeding them in seperate rooms, using the Feliway products, putting additional litter trays around the house...nothing works.

I'm at the end of my tether, I can't continue with the constant peeing in the house, and also the feeling of guilt that she is being picked on by the 2 other more dominant cats and I honestly feel the best thing would be to get her rehomed, with a family that have no other pets and she can just relax and be happy.

Just the thought of giving her away makes me want to sit down and cry, but what else can I do?
What would you do?

All advice welcome...

aonb

Poor you - you obviously want the best for this cat, so stop beating yourself up. No real ideas for you, other than to talk to everyone you know, everyone at work, family members, and see if anyone will adopt your cat, spread the work - unless you ask and put the word out, you never know who might have her. Put flyers up everywhere - vets, websites - talk to local rescues - there must be someone out there who would like an adult cat, you just have to find them! Wish you every success

VonVix

In the same situation here, except it's four cats picking on one, plus she is terrified of humans. Following.

Alun

I occasionally go through the same idea with our two, the only thing is they're both compete sweethearts. If I got rid of the one being bullied I'd feel sorry for her, and would be terrified if I was wrong and she started peeing in someone else's house who wasn't quite as understanding as me. But the other is real cutie too, and I'd feel terrible about getting rid of her too, so we just meddle along and put up with the occasional puddle. Luckily the place of the moment is a patch of tiles by the back door which is easy enough to clean up without it making a smell, so not too much of a problem, but it does stretch the limits of understanding sometime, and I have to take a deep breath every time it happens, and persuade myself not to get angry with her.