Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

username000

Karen91 wrote: »

I think the pets have become an issue now because she knows the pets are important to us and now that she has a child shes trying to undermine whats important to other people.

She did say to my OH in the middle of her hysterical rant that we should dump the pets and grow up and have a baby. So in my opinion she feels superior because she has a child now and we do not.

Ugh! I HATE that attitude. Ive some (ex) friends who started acting all superior and as though my life choices were those of a teenager once they had kids. And dont even get me started on the "you wouldnt understand if you dont have kids"....thats a whole different thread!

Vel

The money that your SIL and her husband are saving by not now coming can be used for her to bring her mother over to Germany to see them. No encounters between child and animals and between your FIL and his SIL! Everyone's a winner!!!

LynnGrace

I still think boarding out the FIL for the week was the best suggestion so far .

Arbiter of Good Taste

username000 wrote: »

Ugh! I HATE that attitude. Ive some (ex) friends who started acting all superior and as though my life choices were those of a teenager once they had kids. And dont even get me started on the "you wouldnt understand if you dont have kids"....thats a whole different thread!

No, it's "you wouldn't understand, you don't have a family". Yes I do have a family you motherf*cking f*ckwit. I didn't just appear under a cabbage patch. I just don't have some dribbling screaming......argh!!!!.

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Descend. Into. Rant. Must. Resist. Urge. To...........:mad:

LynnGrace

username000 wrote: »

Ugh! I HATE that attitude. Ive some (ex) friends who started acting all superior and as though my life choices were those of a teenager once they had kids. And dont even get me started on the "you wouldnt understand if you dont have kids"....thats a whole different thread!

Yup, had to listen to that for some years, especially in one place I worked.
As it happens, that's just not how things worked out for us.

DrPhilG

A colleague of mine always leaves in a Christmas card (for the workplace, not personally) with a little poem about how your life is and always will be incomplete if you don't have children.

Twat

Neyite

DrPhilG wrote: »

A colleague of mine always leaves in a Christmas card (for the workplace, not personally) with a little poem about how your life is and always will be incomplete if you don't have children.

Twat

How thoughtful for the infertile among you to be reminded of their shortcomings at that time of year. In case they forget, like.

Arbiter of Good Taste

DrPhilG wrote: »

A colleague of mine always leaves in a Christmas card (for the workplace, not personally) with a little poem about how your life is and always will be incomplete if you don't have children.

Twat

I'm generally of the "suck it up" school of thought, but I would be complaining to HR about that.

I made a comment recently in the weddings thread about a wedding invitation that was sent to us from a couple we know who sent invites to their wedding through their child , it went like " Little Annie would like to invite you to the wedding of her mammy and daddy etc..." I made a comment that it was quite cringing and that I'm sorry now I didn't get my cat to invite my guests to my wedding. Quite a few people were offended by the comparison.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Deleted User wrote: »

I made a comment recently in the weddings thread about a wedding invitation that was sent to us from a couple we know who sent invites to their wedding through their child , it went like " Little Annie would like to invite you to the wedding of her mammy and daddy etc..." I made a comment that it was quite cringing and that I'm sorry now I didn't get my cat to invite my guests to my wedding. Quite a few people were offended by the comparison.

I remember that thread. I agreed with you

Arbiter of Good Taste

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

I remember that thread. I agreed with you

Cheers, to add balance quite a few supported me too!

Karen91

Neyite wrote: »

How thoughtful for the infertile among you to be reminded of their shortcomings at that time of year. In case they forget, like.

My thoughts exactly!

Drame update:
The SIL called me, of course she knew the OH was gone to work ( I work from home) another hysterical fit except shes blaming the whole thing on me saying I was stopping my OH from seeing his nephew because I am too selfish to remove the filthy animals from the house, she also said I would be better off not having children because I would be putting them at risk of all sorts with animals in the house. She also moaned about the size of the xmas present we sent the baby saying we pumped too much money into the new cat tree. In other words shes saying we should have put the money into a bigger present for her child instead of spending it on a cat tree. Just when I thought there could not be any more surprises to came out with the statement about the christmas present!

My OH is totally mortified by her behaviour.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Hahaha I'm sorry but seriously, lol.

Please tell me you told her where to go?
Next year send her a dildo with the child's present, so that if she doesn't like it she can go **** herself

Mr E

I'd give her a saucer of milk for her catty behaviour. Oh the irony.

Karen, at this stage I am taking offensive on behalf of your poor pets, they are your beloved babies and this women is acting like a spoiled selfish brat. Your pets have probably more cop on and sense than she does.
Her poor child will grow up spoiled and materialistic and probably will be denied the joy of treasuring a pet which is a wonderful way to teach a child kindness and responsibility.

borderlinemeath

Karen91 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly!

Drame update:
The SIL called me, of course she knew the OH was gone to work ( I work from home) another hysterical fit except shes blaming the whole thing on me saying I was stopping my OH from seeing his nephew because I am too selfish to remove the filthy animals from the house, she also said I would be better off not having children because I would be putting them at risk of all sorts with animals in the house. She also moaned about the size of the xmas present we sent the baby saying we pumped too much money into the new cat tree. In other words shes saying we should have put the money into a bigger present for her child instead of spending it on a cat tree. Just when I thought there could not be any more surprises to came out with the statement about the christmas present!

My OH is totally mortified by her behaviour.

:eek::eek:

Can she actually hear herself saying this stuff? It's off the wall behaviour. She has some brass neck to be giving out about the size of Christmas presents.

You're actually very lucky they live in Germany and not locally. The less seen the better. I'd lose the plot if I was related to somebody like that.

Frog Song

What a cow! You poor thing having someone like that in the family!

That's where I'd be cutting her off but I'm very black and white and it is more difficult with family.

Let her off, issues all over the shop there.

Karen91

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Hahaha I'm sorry but seriously, lol.

Please tell me you told her where to go?
Next year send her a dildo with the child's present, so that if she doesn't like it she can go **** herself

Oh yes I told her where to go I did not sugar coat it either I am finished with her. She has picked an issue with everything now. Its her business if she does not want her child around animals but telling us what to buy and what not buy for our pets! Just because she reproduced it does not make her superior to those of us who have not, cannot stand this kind of attitude.

username000

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Hahaha I'm sorry but seriously, lol.

Please tell me you told her where to go?
Next year send her a dildo with the child's present, so that if she doesn't like it she can go **** herself

I like this. Thoughtful. Classy

Bandana boy

Your SIL is obviously in the wrong ,but to play devils advocate ,it is quite possible she is still not recovered from having the child , could be suffering from any number of issues (post partem Depression etc ) .
While I think you standing your ground on the pets is fine ,I would not burn the bridges with her forever over this issue .
Your OH knows her all his/her life and will need to keep some kind of realtionship with her.

Focus more on shame we couldnt get the planets to align on your visit this time ,maybe next time ,than my pets are more important than your child .Leave her some room to back down on future visits without having to make a complete fool of herself.

Irish Stones

Karen91 wrote: »

She also moaned about the size of the xmas present we sent the baby saying we pumped too much money into the new cat tree.

Alright, the time for diplomacy is over, now she's attacking you harder and harder in the attempt to break all kind of relations between you and her. And I guess she achieved her goal.
I'd say that you'll never hear from her again

username000

I would have acted confused. "Are you saying you want a cat tree for the baby is it?"

C0MM0D0RE64

Seems to me OP needs to replace the in-laws for some more pets

bertson

Nothing surprises me when it comes to families and what other family members expect you to 'put' up with, things get even more complicated when third parties start joining the 'family' e.g. SILs BILs and even more so when/if babies start coming along.

I have been in similar situations where my wife and I had always traditionally let ourselves be walked over by certain family members....be that un-planned visitors, letting our house be used and abused by relatives using it as a holiday home, listening to snide comments/insults, picking up the tab, letting kids running riot, one of my SIL even reversed into my car and didn't pay up, lent money (never to see it again) and did all the hard work with parents when sick. We did actually moved our dog out for a week when one of the brothers and his family decided to use our house as a base when home from abroad for 2 weeks - that was for the easy life but also so our dog (like a baby) didn't get stressed

We made a conscious decision a few year ago to make a change and stand up for ourselves; Started being more assertive when it came to things we did not want to do. The last time the same brother and family came back we said it would not suit us for them to stay, no reason or explanation given - they stayed with my other brother instead, no major issues. In fact we have taken a step back from the family members (1%) who caused us grief and just dip in and out with them when needed.

Stand-up for yourself and let you SIL and MIL sort it out between them....

ClubDead

Wow! I wouldn't have thought your SIL could become more hysterical but.....jesus! Can I ask, has she always been like this? A spoilt princess? Also, if your MIL is so concerned then why is her daughter not staying with her?

DrPhilG

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

I'm generally of the "suck it up" school of thought, but I would be complaining to HR about that.

Well it's not quite as blatent as how I wrote it, but it's all fluff about how life is incomplete without children, the true joy of life can never be experienced etc.

I just thought "what a tube" and quietly slipped the card in the bin after a day or so.

username000

DrPhilG wrote: »

Well it's not quite as blatent as how I wrote it, but it's all fluff about how life is incomplete without children, the true joy of life can never be experienced etc.

I just thought "what a tube" and quietly slipped the card in the bin after a day or so.

In the bin?!?!?

Why didnt you photograph it and post it here for our delight!

LynnGrace

DrPhilG wrote: »

Well it's not quite as blatent as how I wrote it, but it's all fluff about how life is incomplete without children, the true joy of life can never be experienced etc.

I just thought "what a tube" and quietly slipped the card in the bin after a day or so.

I was just about to post that I would be helping that card to disappear.
Some people!

Rasmus

Karen91 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly!

Drame update:
The SIL called me, of course she knew the OH was gone to work ( I work from home) another hysterical fit except shes blaming the whole thing on me saying I was stopping my OH from seeing his nephew because I am too selfish to remove the filthy animals from the house, she also said I would be better off not having children because I would be putting them at risk of all sorts with animals in the house. She also moaned about the size of the xmas present we sent the baby saying we pumped too much money into the new cat tree. In other words shes saying we should have put the money into a bigger present for her child instead of spending it on a cat tree. Just when I thought there could not be any more surprises to came out with the statement about the christmas present!

My OH is totally mortified by her behaviour.

Sorry but I actually laughed at loud at that - your SIL is a fruit-loop. It seems there is a lot more going on than just anti-animal sentiment so count yourself lucky you escaped a visit.
Aside from the fact that everything is apparently your fault (!) and the whole situation is like an episode of Seinfeld, I would not put pets in a kennel unless absolutely necessary. Once a year I have to board my cats and it is traumatic for them. (I believe they are safer there then if I left them roaming around at home, even if someone was feeding them). It is also an expense.
You are a saint Karen91 for putting up with your in-laws' idiosyncrasies.

cofy

Karen91 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly!

Drame update:
The SIL called me, of course she knew the OH was gone to work ( I work from home) another hysterical fit except shes blaming the whole thing on me saying I was stopping my OH from seeing his nephew because I am too selfish to remove the filthy animals from the house, she also said I would be better off not having children because I would be putting them at risk of all sorts with animals in the house. She also moaned about the size of the xmas present we sent the baby saying we pumped too much money into the new cat tree. In other words shes saying we should have put the money into a bigger present for her child instead of spending it on a cat tree. Just when I thought there could not be any more surprises to came out with the statement about the christmas present!

My OH is totally mortified by her behaviour.

But the reason she is not staying with her mother is because her husband and her father do not get on. If family is so important to her surely her efforts would be better spent fixing that relationship rather than burning bridges with you and your OH. Your pets should be the least of her problems.

The reason she is not staying with her mother is exactly why, if anyone should be paying for her to go to Germany it should be her husband and her father.