Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

borderlinemeath

blackbird 49 wrote: »

Whatever happens at the end of the day is your business but personally I would never have any animals in my house, I have gone to people's homes that have animals and the first thing is the horrible smell and hairs, they say cats are clean but I find them disgusting. I myself would not be to happy to stay with someone who had animals in the house.

Then you wouldn't accept an invitation in the first place and make demands thereafter.

I personally hate the smell of bleach, I find it disgusting and it makes me nauseous. Yet some people are over zealous with the use of it to ensure their home is "clean". I personally wouldn't stay in such a home

LynnGrace

makeandcreate wrote: »

It wouldn't be unreasonable. This is your home and your family. Alternatively, give them the estimates of keeping your pets in a suitable home for the week.

Otherwise, comply now and will you be expected to do this again at a future date?

I made that exact point upthread, far better to say 'No' right now, and end it there. Otherwise this kind of stuff could go on for years. It is not, IMO, a reasonable request.

NSAman

blackbird 49 wrote: »

Whatever happens at the end of the day is your business but personally I would never have any animals in my house, I have gone to people's homes that have animals and the first thing is the horrible smell and hairs, they say cats are clean but I find them disgusting. I myself would not be to happy to stay with someone who had animals in the house.

Thst's fine then, stay at a hotel. No one is saying that you are putting someones animals out of THEIR house because you don't like animals (which I find weird).

The OP is well within her rights to tell the SIL to take a hike and I am glad she has done so. IF the MIL demands that the OP pay for her trip to see the precious baby, then I would also tell her to take a hike.

If SIL doesn't want to stay at mammies cause OH doesnt get on with father, then OH can stay with his parents. That is the compromise here. NOT upsetting her sister in law and her brother by demanding that they ruin their family harmony for the sake of her meanness and hysterical behaviour.

If SIL's husband cannot behave properly, then she must put manners on him, rather than put all the blame on her brother and his wife and then run crying to mammy.

IMO the OP and her husband are better off by themselves. I am sure FIL has had enough of these two women (his wife and daughter) anyhow.

ahnowbrowncow

muddypaws wrote: »

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say, this thread is fast taking over from 'the wedding thread' as my favourite boards reading at the moment.

Can you tell me how that ended or what happened? I was reading that thread a few days before the wedding but it must have been deleted so I never found out how it ended. I've been a shell of a person since so please help me.

DaisyD2

[quote="Borderlinemeath"

I personally hate the smell of bleach, I find it disgusting and it makes me nauseous. Yet some people are over zealous with the use of it to ensure their home is "clean". I personally wouldn't stay in such a home [/quote]

Me too! My best friend claims to be an animal lover (& I really think she believes it) but I see her wrinkle her nose & tighten up on rare occassions she steps foot in my house & (I feel) like she follows me round hers with a cleaning cloth & the hoover so its rare I visit her either - thats why coffee shops were invented! But I would Never insist on bringing my dog to her house & She would never insist I put her out when she is here. Thats compromise.

What Karens MIL & SIL are demanding of them is nonsense plain & simple. Their demands are not about animals vs children or anything of the sort. Seriously theres an under-current that has nothing to do with OP so she should stay out of it & let her partner deal with his family as he sees fit

DrPhilG

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Can you tell me how that ended or what happened? I was reading that thread a few days before the wedding but it must have been deleted so I never found out how it ended. I've been a shell of a person since so please help me.

And I never heard of it, so now I feel as though I have missed out.

muddypaws

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Can you tell me how that ended or what happened? I was reading that thread a few days before the wedding but it must have been deleted so I never found out how it ended. I've been a shell of a person since so please help me.

I don't know if you're thinking of bridesmaidgate? lol this is the one that currently has the nation enthralled - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057355848

beyondbelief67

This is the other one that had us captivated.

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057262110/26/#post91594453

minnieq

Insult or what!!! If you don't like my pets don't stay with us. My sister would be so awkward around my westie esp with her kids. I laid the law down and she learned to deal with a dog being in the house. Sadly I lost my darling, but she had full run of the house along with our 4 children. Lol and came everywhere with us. Your cat and dog are your family, you could alway suggest that they leave their babyat home lol (joking) your pets your house your rules..

Karen91

tommy100 wrote: »

seriously, what are people coming to these days. these are animals, a CAT ON A LEASH, these animals should not be imprisoned in homes. as for her request, let animals oitside during day, and leave them in utility at night. (im guessing the dog and cat have beds or else sleep in yer beds). at the end of the day, the baby is more important that the cat and dog. can't believe you are putting your nephew niece third to your pets???????

Your not related to my SIL by any chance are you??

InTheTrees

tommy100 wrote: »

let animals oitside during day, and leave them in utility at night.

The OP lives in a town. She cant just let them out.

And leaving them in a utility room wont pacify the sister in law, who wants them Gone.

Karen91

I knew the MIL would complain to some extent but asking us to pay her trip to Germany is totally over the top! My jaw dropped when I heard her.

It baffles me how some people think they can dictate to other people. It makes me feel better that the majority of people who have replied on this thread think the same.

sheesh

The Masculinist wrote: »

New mothers tend to be over protective of their children. In many instances this can result in them engaging in what would appear to be irrational or unreasonable behaviour. By putting your animals in either kennels or outdoor housing for one bloody week you could have avoided all of this heartache and kept the peace. Instead you have potentially turned a good deal of your OH's family against you. While I admire that the OP stuck to her guns, the situation is still a lose lose for everyone involved. Indeed, I also believe that people here are being a bit flippant by calling the OH's sister all sorts of names. Like none of us have never overreacted about anything.

so just suck it up? If the op does that she will be sucking it up for the rest of her life. this is more about boundaries than than choosing between children or pets. What has happened here is that it has been all about the mother for the last year because of the pregnancy and she still thinks the world has to bend over backwards because she has a sprog, someone needs to talk the girl down and that person is the ops husband.

InTheTrees

I'm still amazed at how these people can make the jump from not wanting to stay with you because of your pets to demanding you pay for their foreign holiday...

The logic(!) escapes me.

Maybe you should suggest they pay for a villa in Spain where you can all meet up?

Goldstein

You're better off without that kind of entitled idiot in your life.

Pets are a part of your family. That is their home, not hers.

cofy

Karen91 wrote: »

There is more drama as the MIL has now made her feelings known and wants us to pay for her to go to Germany that particular week so she can see her grandson this does not surprise me though because the woman is a drama queen! We of course refused to pay!
I never thought two little animals could cause somebody to behave so drastic.

Your MIL is being a drama queen. Ask why your SIL is not staying with her.

I do think your SIL maybe suffering from Post Natal Depression maybe your MIL knows this and is hitting out.

What if you were to let your SIL know that all inoculations etc are up to date. That you have hygienic wipes and sprays etc. are within hands reach, I did this ever before we got a dog, as I had two children (my first born very premature) who were passing bugs between them.

I would not put my dog out for a week just to accommodate someone who knows I have a pet.

Is it a possibility that this extreme aversion to pets is to deflect from bigger going on within their relationship.

No matter what, thread carefully, be sympathetic to your SIL but at the end of the day pets are a part of your life and they already know this and must accept this.

This is ridiculous.
Your SIL wont stay with you because of your pets, grand.
She won't stay with her own mother because her father and husband don't get on, grand.

Your MIL wants to see her grandchild, so obviously they either stay with her or she goes and stays with them. Their problem.

Someone getting put up for a week in your home does not get to dictate the way they want your house to be!! I can't believe people sticking up for her!
Its not about the pets, its about the cheek of her dictating about the house she is being put up in ( I assume for free!)

I'd stay out of it from now on, they( mother & daughter) want to see each other, nothing to do with you!!

ahnowbrowncow

beyondbelief67 wrote: »

This is the other one that had us captivated.

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057262110/26/#post91594453

That's the one, exactly half a year later I get to read it. Thanks

mdwexford

blackbird 49 wrote: »

Whatever happens at the end of the day is your business but personally I would never have any animals in my house, I have gone to people's homes that have animals and the first thing is the horrible smell and hairs, they say cats are clean but I find them disgusting. I myself would not be to happy to stay with someone who had animals in the house.

Lol at you and the people thanking your nonsense post.

The peoples homes you have gone to must be non cleaning gypsys then.

I'm sure my cats would find you disgusting.
With an attitude like yours I'm surprised anyone lets you near their house.

cofy

blackbird 49 wrote: »

Whatever happens at the end of the day is your business but personally I would never have any animals in my house, I have gone to people's homes that have animals and the first thing is the horrible smell and hairs, they say cats are clean but I find them disgusting. I myself would not be to happy to stay with someone who had animals in the house.

But what happens if you have a child, when they come in from school they are going to have germs and bacteria on them from at least 24 other children, if you have a pet then the chances are they are in a secure area with more regulated contact with other animals.

cofy

bubblypop wrote: »

This is ridiculous.
Your SIL wont stay with you because of your pets, grand.
She won't stay with her own mother because her father and husband don't get on, grand.

Your MIL wants to see her grandchild, so obviously they either stay with her or she goes and stays with them. Their problem.

Someone getting put up for a week in your home does not get to dictate the way they want your house to be!! I can't believe people sticking up for her!
Its not about the pets.

I'd stay out of it from now on, they( mother & daughter) want to see each other, nothing to do with you!!

Op take solace, do you think pets are being used as an excuse for other problems?

Stinjy

I kinda thought this was going to blow over after thy said they weren't coming, but now paying for a trip to see them.. I'd be telling them exactly where to go! well done to you, and your partner for telling them what's what! You may have saved yourself a lifetime of hassle!

obplayer

blackbird 49 wrote: »

Whatever happens at the end of the day is your business but personally I would never have any animals in my house, I have gone to people's homes that have animals and the first thing is the horrible smell and hairs, they say cats are clean but I find them disgusting. I myself would not be to happy to stay with someone who had animals in the house.

Then don't.

worded

Visitor - I think there is something wrong with this woman and possibly her relationship with her husband as someone suggested before.

mach1982

I'm sorry I can not believe some have would ask this question , ( no offence ) but can the OP not think for themselves . It is common sense , if you go to some else house it there house their rules . If some asked that I say fine , you too choices , either stay here with my dog for free or book in a hotel or B&B .

Neyite

The problem with a request like this, is that it wont be a once off. Germany is not exactly the other side of the world so yearly or more frequent visits are likely. Christmas, summer visits etc.

If you were to give in, and board the pets, then the next time there is a reunion of this weird family, you'd be expected to do it again and again, since staying with you is the only option it appears. And if you tried to put a halt to it down the line, there would be outrage that you are NOW deciding you are not happy with an existing ongoing arrangement. And you'd be expected to pay boarding costs each time, along with getting extra food in for the guests, the hassle of cleaning the entire place, the strain on bills, not being able to come in from work and slob out, watch your favourite telly programme, likely having everyone underfoot in your own home for weeks on end and making them endless cups of tea.

Not worth it imo. You'll thank yourself in years to come that you stood your ground now.

kylith

tommy100 wrote: »

seriously, what are people coming to these days. these are animals, a CAT ON A LEASH, these animals should not be imprisoned in homes. as for her request, let animals oitside during day, and leave them in utility at night. (im guessing the dog and cat have beds or else sleep in yer beds). at the end of the day, the baby is more important that the cat and dog. can't believe you are putting your nephew niece third to your pets???????

Why on earth would I get dogs for companionship and then keep them away from me all the time in the garden or a utility room? My dogs live in my house because that's where I am, if I am home and awake they are with me. They are not imprisoned in my house, they want to be inside because it's comfortable and warm, and most importantly it's where I am. I live alone and without my dogs I would likely have succumbed to depression by now.

Someone else's baby is not more important than my family. If it's for an hour or so we can come to a compromise, but for a week? She can sod off.

Ken.

I've been thinking about it for a day or 2 and this is for the folks who don't think pets are family members.

Imagine a family member with a new baby is coming to stay with you for a week. They then say to you "that carpet you have in your house is a few years old and filthy,we won't be calling unless you replace it".

Would you do it or tell them to fück off for insulting you?.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Neyite wrote: »

The problem with a request like this, is that it wont be a once off. Germany is not exactly the other side of the world so yearly or more frequent visits are likely. Christmas, summer visits etc.

If you were to give in, and board the pets, then the next time there is a reunion of this weird family, you'd be expected to do it again and again, since staying with you is the only option it appears. And if you tried to put a halt to it down the line, there would be outrage that you are NOW deciding you are not happy with an existing ongoing arrangement. And you'd be expected to pay boarding costs each time, along with getting extra food in for the guests, the hassle of cleaning the entire place, the strain on bills, not being able to come in from work and slob out, watch your favourite telly programme, likely having everyone underfoot in your own home for weeks on end and making them endless cups of tea.

Not worth it imo. You'll thank yourself in years to come that you stood your ground now.

And it won't stop with the pets. What happens if down the line, the OP has her own baby. At this point little Tarquin (or whatever fvck wit name I'm sure he has) will be a toddler. Will the SIL be offended by new baby's germs, or the fact that it is keeping Tarquin awake at night? What future concessions will the OP have to make?

Karen91

cofy wrote: »

Op take solace, do you think pets are being used as an excuse for other problems?

I think the pets have become an issue now because she knows the pets are important to us and now that she has a child shes trying to undermine whats important to other people.

She did say to my OH in the middle of her hysterical rant that we should dump the pets and grow up and have a baby. So in my opinion she feels superior because she has a child now and we do not.