Children and organised sport

ch750536

Intro - I'm a qualified soccer coach and am very tired of the constant poor treatment of kids in sport and am actively trying to change things.
Trying to change the league - the only place in Europe where 9 yr olds play 11v11!

In essence, most organised soccer teams (not all) are run for adults, not kids. This means wins are more important than player development. This means the select 'winners' are favoured over those who 'just aren't good enough'. The facts and statistics are clear and damning!
Although the club (run by adults) and the coaches (adults) want to win the league, the kids may just want to be with their friends having healthy fun. They may want to play for Ireland. This is far more important than the league win.

Self esteem is for me the single most important aspect of any player. Without it their is no belief. Unfortunately, clubs choose to mistreat 'weaker' kids until they don't come back, making the selection process easier.
Self Fulfilling Prophecies



The point of this post and what I want to make you aware of is that if your kids are unhappy at sports, make a change. Open your mouth. Make a stand.
There is a graph based on Relative Age Effect which is a little like this.


Translation - Because teams want to win they pick bigger players. Those born in Jan, Feb , March have an advantage. Those born in Oct, Nov, Dec are told they are not good enough, either directly or by just not getting opportunity.
Relative Age Effect

The knock on effect on the childs identity, self belief and esteem seems to be a reasonable explanation of why a graph of teenage depression is low, rising sept, oct, peaking nov, december, then suddenly dropping again in Jan.

All the sports organisations are aware of this and are running scared of what this means. Once it is proven beyond doubt that sports clubs are doing long term damage to children then they will have a really big problem.

So - if you are forewarned, you are forearmed! If your are in a town with A's & B's get a list of DOB and see if 'You are in the B's if you are born in the second half of the year' - this was the case in my town.

Take this back to the club and ask them to stop age discrimination, as the FAI, FIFA, UEFA and many other sports bodies insist.

If your child goes to a sports group happy and comes back sad - there is something wrong. In my experience, it is almost always the adults fault!

Also I'll happily answer any queries about coaching kids, Qualifications

Bravobabe

Congratulations on the post:
I'm involved in a Soccer Club.
Over the years we have lost many Coaches because - THEY ONLY WANTED TO WIN
As a Club we do not do Trials. As much as we can everyone will get a chance to play. (We don't win many titles)

However lack of parent support is a real issue
- They do not want to get involved in Coaching (too busy)
- Many want their "child" to be on a winning team - A Winner
- The attitude on some on the side-line is outrageous (Bad)
- They don't want to help with funding or supporting events
- They don't want to tackle the Coach

We have too many players and not enough Coaches. Like many of my fellow Committee Members, I Coach, Ref, Organise events, fundraise, cut grass, give lifts etc etc.

So - the power is with the Parents.
They should join Clubs (become members), attend AGMs, amend Club rules and ethos.
Change League structures and put pressure on the Leagues and FAI.

this is not just a soccer issue, it's actually worse in some other sports:mad:

Best wishes

Big Bag of Chips

Is there not a guideline about no competitive sport for children until 12? I know in our local sports teams up to u10 don't play leagues or competitively. They play friendly's with other local clubs.

I also know at an u6 level the coaches were given a bit of hassle by parents for being too easy on the kids by playing games, not developing "skills"! And at u8 the parents were annoyed because the coaches were too serious and too hard on the kids.

It seems no matter what way you work it the people who won't get involved themselves will always have strong opinions about how things are being run!

seavill

There are no guidelines as of yet.

Some counties would play competitive down to u9. Others don't start competitive till u11.
Some counties would have nothing at all or anything below 11

ch750536

Bravobabe wrote: »

Congratulations on the post:
I'm involved in a Soccer Club.
Over the years we have lost many Coaches because - THEY ONLY WANTED TO WIN
As a Club we do not do Trials. As much as we can everyone will get a chance to play. (We don't win many titles)

However lack of parent support is a real issue
- They do not want to get involved in Coaching (too busy)
- Many want their "child" to be on a winning team - A Winner
- The attitude on some on the side-line is outrageous (Bad)
- They don't want to help with funding or supporting events
- They don't want to tackle the Coach

We have too many players and not enough Coaches. Like many of my fellow Committee Members, I Coach, Ref, Organise events, fundraise, cut grass, give lifts etc etc.

So - the power is with the Parents.
They should join Clubs (become members), attend AGMs, amend Club rules and ethos.
Change League structures and put pressure on the Leagues and FAI.

this is not just a soccer issue, it's actually worse in some other sports:mad:

Best wishes

I couldn't agree more. Parents don't get off lightly either.
LINKY
tldr; Lots of parents hinder the childs chances through poorly educated decisions and behaviours rather than support and provide.

I should add that this isn't all of Ireland, most of it is moving in a very healthy direction. Some of it isn't though.

Bravobabe, I commend you and all volunteers for your time and effort. You sound like someone who understands the needs of others.

Unfortunately we both know this isn't the case everywhere.

ch750536

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Is there not a guideline about no competitive sport for children until 12? I know in our local sports teams up to u10 don't play leagues or competitively. They play friendly's with other local clubs.

I also know at an u6 level the coaches were given a bit of hassle by parents for being too easy on the kids by playing games, not developing "skills"! And at u8 the parents were annoyed because the coaches were too serious and too hard on the kids.

It seems no matter what way you work it the people who won't get involved themselves will always have strong opinions about how things are being run!

No rules, no guidelines.
When I did my original research Ireland was the only country in UEFA that has competitive U8 matches.

The only answer is to get qualified. Education really is the key and talk to the parents right at the start, explain who makes the decisions and why. Even if there is 1 UEFA B licenced coach, you can allow them to state what training should be and you are following their advice.

It can be very rewarding, it can be very stressful.

racso1975

My son is involved in 3 different sports. Rugby, Gaa and soccer.

He is 7 and I train him in Rugby and Gaa but am a sideline parent in soccer. My philosophy has always been it should be fun. However in the soccer they have huge numbers and he might only get 10 kins ina agame or a half depending on how many turn up but you can guarantee that the 2 best players will play the full game. So even at this age kids begin to get confidence knocked or built up.

In my teams everybody plays and get equal time. Now this might need to happen over 2 matches given numbers but it happens.

Parents though.....do not get me started. 9 out 10 use it as a sitting service. Drop, go and collect which is crazy and I cannot understand. However come match day they are on the sideline giving it socks.

It only happened at weekend that I could not make the soccer match and my son asked me to talk to his mammy and ask her to stop shouting as it distracts him. Now she is the most caring mother and it would literally be "C'mon Johnny" in an encouraging way but for him it was too much.

The amount of times I get asked to have a word with a child about getting stuck in more at training and matches is scary even at under 6 level where mybother son plays.

However I do need to point out none of these are competitive in the sense of a league table existing.

It is also a difficult one for me to try to rationalise. A number of children will already begin to have developed a competitive nature due to a variety of reasons: school, xbox/games, where they are in the family etc and it is certainly not an attribute you want to knock out of them nor do you want to encourage to a level where it has a dertrimental effect on their performance or behaviours.

ch750536

racso1975 wrote: »

My son is involved in 3 different sports. Rugby, Gaa and soccer.

He is 7 and I train him in Rugby and Gaa but am a sideline parent in soccer. My philosophy has always been it should be fun. However in the soccer they have huge numbers and he might only get 10 kins ina agame or a half depending on how many turn up but you can guarantee that the 2 best players will play the full game. So even at this age kids begin to get confidence knocked or built up.

I see this time after time. The single biggest impact on kids in sport is knocking their confidence. All kids develop in different ways and different rates. It's not difficult, as you say, just make it fun.
Once the 'better' kids start believing they are 'better' and the 'worse' start believing they are 'worse' then it is a downhill slope.
Nobody, not even the premier league scouts, can judge who will be a good player and who will not so how coaches in the SFAI can at the age of 8 I don't know.
http://www.therightgoals.com/2014/05/self-fulfilling-prophecies.html

racso1975 wrote: »

Parents though.....do not get me started. 9 out 10 use it as a sitting service. Drop, go and collect which is crazy and I cannot understand. However come match day they are on the sideline giving it socks.

It only happened at weekend that I could not make the soccer match and my son asked me to talk to his mammy and ask her to stop shouting as it distracts him. Now she is the most caring mother and it would literally be "C'mon Johnny" in an encouraging way but for him it was too much.

The amount of times I get asked to have a word with a child about getting stuck in more at training and matches is scary even at under 6 level where mybother son plays.

Many parents just don't get it and I'm a strong supporter of the Silent Sideline.
http://www.therightgoals.com/2014/03/parents-what-is-your-role.html
Before the Competition:
Have fun.
Play hard.
I love you.

After the competition:
Did you have fun?
I’m proud of you.
I love you.

racso1975 wrote: »

However I do need to point out none of these are competitive in the sense of a league table existing.

It is also a difficult one for me to try to rationalise. A number of children will already begin to have developed a competitive nature due to a variety of reasons: school, xbox/games, where they are in the family etc and it is certainly not an attribute you want to knock out of them nor do you want to encourage to a level where it has a dertrimental effect on their performance or behaviours.

Agreed, there is nothing wrong with competition. Old school thinking though is 'throw them in the deep end, sink or swim' and we lose a large percentage of kids from sport for this reason.
Prepare the kids for competition, mentally, emotionally and then introduce competition and the drop out rate dramatically reduces.
http://www.therightgoals.com/2015/02/what-age-to-compete.html

ch750536

Just to bring things up to date.

The FAI have a new Player Development Plan which has 10 points in it. The first 2 have been agreed by the the SFAI (they run soccer for kids).

The first 2 points mean:

• No more A's, B's etc
• Guaranteed minimum play time
• Smaller pitches, fewer players
• Blitz rather than match where possible
• Fun & development rather than wins
• Coaches to have a teaching & inclusive mentality
• No more league results until U12

In detail