How do you know it's time?

SPM1959

How did you all know it was time to give up. I feel I'm very close to making that call.

Don't drink during the week or all weekends but when I do it's a huge binge. It now takes me a few days to get over a hangover, while feeling down and depressed and lacking motivation to do anything.

On the other hand, I can't imagine going out with my friends socially and not drinking.

Sunnyisland

For those suffering from the disease/abuse/ruined life of alcoholism it seems to be an almost universal truth that before things can get better, they have to get worse -- sometimes a lot worse. They call it "hitting bottom" -- the place an alcoholic must reach before he finally is ready to admit that he has a problem and reaches out for help.
After all, for the true alcoholic, it doesn't seem to him (or her) that he has a problem. He's just having a good time. If everybody would just get off his back, everything would be okay. He's got a disease, but it sure doesn't seem like one and the last thing that would ever occur to him is that he needs help.

Because alcoholism is a progressive :disease: there comes a point at which even the most dedicated drunk decides that there just might be a problem.

Alcoholism does not stay in one place. It doesn't hit a certain stage and then level off. It keeps deepening, affecting us physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. On all of those levels we keep getting worse until finally he hits bottom.

So where is bottom? Nobody really knows. For some, getting that first drink and driving kmight be where the turning point comes. Getting locked up, even for a few hours, and facing the public humiliation of a court date is for some the only signal they need they have a problem.

For others, however, 10 drunk driving arrests have no affect whatsoever. Driving without a license and frequent visits to the local jail don't phase them at all.

Alcoholics have lost driver's licenses, jobs, careers, girlfriends, wives, family and children and worse and have still continued to deny they have a drinking problem.

It was always somebody else's fault. His wife just didn't understand him. The only reason he got that DD was because he was driving a red vehicle and cops watch for red vehicles. He wouldn't have all the problems he's got if it weren't for those nosey people !

His boss was a real pain to put up with anyway. His career as a professional was going nowhere fast and besides he enjoys selling used cars -- gets to meet more people.

Some alcoholics go on for many years denying their downward spiral into social, economic and moral decline. But every alcoholic has a "bottom" out there to hit. A place where even the hardest of the hardcore drinkers finally admit that their lives have become unmanageable,

doulikeit

Im out,
Been doing this for 22 yrs I loved it and I hated it but fcuk me I was good at it. It was the only thing in my life I 100% dedicated myself too. I wore the t shirt and quite literaly have the battle scars of my 22 yr service. Come from a long line of drunks, father, grandfather. Not blaming anyone for my decisions im a big boy. Lost jobs lost days lost relationships and god knows what else, made a bit of a bollix of it so far no more excuses no more lost days with my kids and wife so fcuk you drink fcuk you, you cnut you got ur last twist outa me. So op I think ive found my time

realies

realies wrote: »

But every alcoholic has a "bottom" out there to hit. A place where even the hardest of the hardcore drinkers finally admit that their lives have become unmanageable,

I read this insightful post a few days ago, but this line is the one that has stayed in my mind since. It is so true: we're just postponing the inevitable the longer we persist on our road to perdition. All the relationships that are destroyed and the dreams and ambitions which remain unfulfilled. It's all so unnecessary given that we are going to have to make the hard choice to give up alcohol at some stage. How life and its potential can be so different if we grab the bull by the horns now, rather than in 5, 10 or 15 years time when so much pain has been inflicted on people we love.

When you really get in tune with the hopes, fears and dreams of the important people in your life - alcohol addiction will never allow us to put anybody ahead of satisfying the addiction (something I'm only fully aware of since giving up alcohol) - you realise that life and love and not some romanticised idealised time drinking alcohol are the precious gifts of our very precarious existence.

Kunkka

realies wrote: »

For those suffering from the disease/abuse/ruined life of alcoholism it seems to be an almost universal truth that before things can get better, they have to get worse -- sometimes a lot worse. They call it "hitting bottom" -- the place an alcoholic must reach before he finally is ready to admit that he has a problem and reaches out for help.
After all, for the true alcoholic, it doesn't seem to him (or her) that he has a problem. He's just having a good time. If everybody would just get off his back, everything would be okay. He's got a disease, but it sure doesn't seem like one and the last thing that would ever occur to him is that he needs help.

Because alcoholism is a progressive :disease: there comes a point at which even the most dedicated drunk decides that there just might be a problem.

Alcoholism does not stay in one place. It doesn't hit a certain stage and then level off. It keeps deepening, affecting us physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. On all of those levels we keep getting worse until finally he hits bottom.

So where is bottom? Nobody really knows. For some, getting that first drink and driving kmight be where the turning point comes. Getting locked up, even for a few hours, and facing the public humiliation of a court date is for some the only signal they need they have a problem.

For others, however, 10 drunk driving arrests have no affect whatsoever. Driving without a license and frequent visits to the local jail don't phase them at all.

Alcoholics have lost driver's licenses, jobs, careers, girlfriends, wives, family and children and worse and have still continued to deny they have a drinking problem.

It was always somebody else's fault. His wife just didn't understand him. The only reason he got that DD was because he was driving a red vehicle and cops watch for red vehicles. He wouldn't have all the problems he's got if it weren't for those nosey people !

His boss was a real pain to put up with anyway. His career as a professional was going nowhere fast and besides he enjoys selling used cars -- gets to meet more people.

Some alcoholics go on for many years denying their downward spiral into social, economic and moral decline. But every alcoholic has a "bottom" out there to hit. A place where even the hardest of the hardcore drinkers finally admit that their lives have become unmanageable,

One of the best pieces I've read about acceptance. For me it was a medical condition I developed due to my drinking. It's the one thing that brought me to accept that I had a problem. It also kept me sober because as the temptation that I went through in my first 12 months I kept thinking of how badly my health had become due to drinking. The physical aspect made it very easy for me to realize that alcohol was death for me.

4 years sober in October. What a journey from a very dark place. Thanks for sharing Realies!

Sunnyisland

Well done on four years kunkka , fantastic achievement , living the life is great isent it :-)

valoren

I knew it was time to quit when I began to look at the actual "Drink" in terms of a means of getting the drug ethanol into my system.

There was simply no appreciation of the actual liquid itself, as in the taste, the after taste, the actual enjoyment of it. When the drink was taken simply for the effect, then I knew it was time to stop.

It's like the movie, "The Insider". In it, they describe cigarettes as "a nicotine delivery system" i.e. a practical means for a nicotine addict to conveniently get their fix of the drug. It's simple, you light it up and inhale for your fix.

That always struck a chord with me. The phrase "delivery system"

It's what Beer, Wine, Spirits, Alcopops etc are. No matter how it get's dressed up or marketed. That a beer is 'refreshing', the whole Wine appreciation nonsense, how Spirits invoke a sense of culture and sophistication etc. That's all simply marketing for that particular delivery system of drug Ethanol. You fill a glass, you drink it, then you get your fix.

And that's what drinking became for me, getting the drug into my system irregardless of the "mechanism" chosen, be it beer, wine etc.

Badly Drunk Boy

SPM1959 wrote: »

How did you all know it was time to give up. I feel I'm very close to making that call.

Don't drink during the week or all weekends but when I do it's a huge binge. It now takes me a few days to get over a hangover, while feeling down and depressed and lacking motivation to do anything.

On the other hand, I can't imagine going out with my friends socially and not drinking.

I'm fairly much the same as you. However, since my friends are all married with kids, there's very little going out for a social drink so that's not an issue. I'm a couple of weeks without a drink now and am going to try to do the Electric Picnic without drinking.

Am I trying too much, too soon? I've been meaning to have a dry Picnic for the last few years but it hasn't happened. This year will be the real test...

The Bishop Basher

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

I'm fairly much the same as you. However, since my friends are all married with kids, there's very little going out for a social drink so that's not an issue. I'm a couple of weeks without a drink now and am going to try to do the Electric Picnic without drinking.

Am I trying too much, too soon? I've been meaning to have a dry Picnic for the last few years but it hasn't happened. This year will be the real test...

I don't think there is such a thing as too much too soon when you give up the sauce. You're either on it or off it iykwim

As long as you're comfortable with the idea you won't have a problem.

This will be my first dry EP as well. I'm just back from a dry holiday with 5 drinkers so EP should be easy enough given how much stuff there is to distract you.

PM if you want need some moral support or even just some sober company for a while

I'll be near the tea van at the main stage