Pavee point in common sense shocker!

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well you would only have to answer what you wanted, and Im pretty sure that if people like me and others asking genuine curious questions were also posting on it it would cut down on the eejits!

Im a married woman in my 40s. I dont have kids and I dont want to have kids. I lived with my husband before we got married. I only got married 6 years ago. I never lived with another man but I did have other "serious" boyfriends.

I think its fascinating being able to ask you things because (like most people) I just wouldnt have any access to a real life traveller to ask things of!

No your okay.

If you don't mind me asking why don't you want kids. Who's going to pass on your legacy. Who will you have to comfort you when your older. A child is everything its a gift from God.

Your okay I like to answer questions for nice people.

TravellerGirl

It won't allow me sign up for ama. I just tried it. I don't have permission or something

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

If you don't mind me asking why don't you want kids. Who's going to pass on your legacy. Who will you have to comfort you when your older. A child is everything its a gift from God.

Well, its a bit long, but first of all I just never really was into babies. I totally understand how people feel when they see a baby and they get a lovely warm fuzzy feeling - I just dont get that. I do get it for kittens and puppies so I am aware of what the feeling is - but it just doesnt happen me for babies! So I was never very maternal.

On top of that, my mother didnt really want children but she had them because there were no other choices for her then (there was no contraception available when she got married), so I often felt we werent really wanted but a bit of a burden - not in a terrible way, but I got that impression. Then my father was an alcoholic and there were a lot of difficulties associated with that.

So a combination of the above meant that when I was an adult, I was relieved not to be living in the family home anymore, and I just never got interested in babies so as time passed the "want" to have a baby just never really hit me. Then I suppose I got used to being child free and I like it now and wouldnt want to change it.

My husband isnt interested in children either, so he was happy to find I felt the same way.

Im atheist too so I dont believe in God.

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well, its a bit long, but first of all I just never really was into babies. I totally understand how people feel when they see a baby and they get a lovely warm fuzzy feeling - I just dont get that. I do get it for kittens and puppies so I am aware of what the feeling is - but it just doesnt happen me for babies! So I was never very maternal.

On top of that, my mother didnt really want children but she had them because there were no other choices for her then (there was no contraception available when she got married), so I often felt we werent really wanted but a bit of a burden - not in a terrible way, but I got that impression. Then my father was an alcoholic and there were a lot of difficulties associated with that.

So a combination of the above meant that when I was an adult, I was relieved not to be living in the family home anymore, and I just never got interested in babies so as time passed the "want" to have a baby just never really hit me. Then I suppose I got used to being child free and I like it now and wouldnt want to change it.

My husband isnt interested in children either, so he was happy to find I felt the same way.

Im atheist too so I dont believe in God.

I don't know how anyone could not love a child. You have to realise that you and your husband will not be like your parents. I think you'd be a good mommy.

Why? I know I lost my faith for awhile but thatsbecause an awful lot of my family died in tthe last 10 years.

Neyite

TravellerGirl wrote: »

It won't allow me sign up for ama. I just tried it. I don't have permission or something

You can contact the Mod of the forum, Dav, who is the community manager by pm and he can set it up for you, explain what you need to do, and he introduces you.

You can see from the other AMA's that its got a different tone to it. And the best part is that you don't have to answer anything you don't want to answer.

TravellerGirl

Neyite wrote: »

You can contact the Mod of the forum, Dav, who is the community manager by pm and he can set it up for you, explain what you need to do, and he introduces you.

You can see from the other AMA's that its got a different tone to it. And the best part is that you don't have to answer anything you don't want to answer.

Thank you

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

I don't know how anyone could not love a child. You have to realise that you and your husband will not be like your parents. I think you'd be a good mommy.

Why? I know I lost my faith for awhile but thatsbecause an awful lot of my family died in tthe last 10 years.

Well Im sure I would be able to love a child if I had one, but I was just never interested in babies the way other girls seem to be you know? So I never wanted one to love.

Yes, I think we (hubby and I) probably both would be good parents, but we just arent interested in being parents.

When I was young I was actually sitting in mass one day and I realised that if Id been born in Saudi Arabia id be a Muslim or if Id been born in India Id be Hindu and that I was only Catholic because Id been born in Ireland. So my faith was an accident of where Id been born. That was enough for me to realise and accept that the idea of God doesnt make any sense for me. More came later, but thats how it happened.

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well Im sure I would be able to love a child if I had one, but I was just never interested in babies the way other girls seem to be you know? So I never wanted one to love.

Yes, I think we (hubby and I) probably both would be good parents, but we just arent interested in being parents.

When I was young I was actually sitting in mass one day and I realised that if Id been born in Saudi Arabia id be a Muslim or if Id been born in India Id be Hindu and that I was only Catholic because Id been born in Ireland. So my faith was an accident of where Id been born. That was enough for me to realise and accept that the idea of God doesnt make any sense for me. More came later, but thats how it happened.

Ahh no ya can't thinklike that. I was born in tthe UK but im Catholic.

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Ahh no ya can't thinklike that. I was born in tthe UK but im Catholic.

Well that was really the start of me questioning the idea of God. Im quite science minded so I also find it impossible to accept the idea of an imaginary being too. And then I think that if there was a God there wouldnt be such bad things as there are in the world. Lots of different reasons at this stage! Its a hard one to talk about without people being offended though so I dont tend to talk much about it to people - Im not militant and if other people are happy to be religious then thats their own business.

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well that was really the start of me questioning the idea of God. Im quite science minded so I also find it impossible to accept the idea of an imaginary being too. And then I think that if there was a God there wouldnt be such bad things as there are in the world. Lots of different reasons at this stage! Its a hard one to talk about without people being offended though so I dont tend to talk much about it to people - Im not militant and if other people are happy to be religious then thats their own business.

If bad things didnt happen how would good things. If someone didnt die how is a new life supposed to be bborn.

Maguined

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Ahh no ya can't thinklike that. I was born in tthe UK but im Catholic.

Do you specifically but also other travellers in general feel nationalistic? You were born in the UK but do you feel British or Irish at all or just purely traveller? Would it be common for travellers to support the Irish or British football or rugby teams for example?

I saw an interview with a traveller from the 60's before where he said he didn't feel nationalistic at all, wouldn't follow sports as he felt flags/sports represented the settled community and not travellers so he felt no connection to being Irish or so did not support the Irish football team etc.

This was just one man so I wondered would this be a common view in the community in your experience or are there plenty who feel a sense of national identity as well as traveller community?

El_Duderino 09

TravellerGirl wrote: »

No your okay.

If you don't mind me asking why don't you want kids. Who's going to pass on your legacy. Who will you have to comfort you when your older. A child is everything its a gift from God.

Your okay I like to answer questions for nice people.

Reading this thread and this post in particular, I think it would be more interesting to have an AMA thread with travelers asking questions of a settled person.

TravellerGirl

Maguined wrote: »

Do you specifically but also other travellers in general feel nationalistic? You were born in the UK but do you feel British or Irish at all or just purely traveller? Would it be common for travellers to support the Irish or British football or rugby teams for example?

I saw an interview with a traveller from the 60's before where he said he didn't feel nationalistic at all, wouldn't follow sports as he felt flags/sports represented the settled community and not travellers so he felt no connection to being Irish or so did not support the Irish football team etc.

This was just one man so I wondered would this be a common view in the community in your experience or are there plenty who feel a sense of national identity as well as traveller community?

No coz my parents are both Irish. Too me I am both Irish and English but I don't follow any teams or that.

Dav

Hi folks,

I've asked TravellerGirl if she'd like to do an official site AMA and she has agreed to give up her time to do so. I realise that a lot of questions and answers have been dealt with here already and I'm sorry to hijack this thread, but I've started off an AMA here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057383006, so I'll leave it to yourselves to either post there or continue here.

Thanks for your time and to TravellerGirl for agreeing to help us out.

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

If bad things didnt happen how would good things. If someone didnt die how is a new life supposed to be bborn.

I think that overall there is more suffering than can be cancelled out by good things happening.

Although I agree that we wouldnt even know what a bad thing was if we didnt have a good thing to compare it to.

Im going over to join in the AMA - see you there!

end of the road

lubie76 wrote: »

Well the rest of us have to pay, why should they be any different, they also have a water supply.

if we all could get away with not paying we probably all would try it. there are systems to deal with it, if the revenue can't be bothered thats the revenues fault.

lubie76 wrote: »

I see you are just going through this thread every so often cherry picking all the negative comments about travellers (most of which are based on posters own experience) and giving a smart arse response to them.

wrong.

lubie76 wrote: »

This might make you feel like you are some kind of Robin Hood character and while you are as entitled to state your opinion as the rest of us, you can read the stats too and know that the traveller issues run a lot deeper than prejudice or bigotry against them.

i all ready did read them. years ago. yes the issues run deep but bigotry toards them is rife whether one wishes to admit it or not. they aren't the only ones bigotry is rife toards though

lubie76 wrote: »

If you really feel the need to continually defend them, at least do some research into their culture and reasoning behind their behaviour particularly if you have the pleasure of knowing some travellers in your community which I think you stated earlier in the thread

i don't need to do research.

lubie76 wrote: »

this is what people are interested in and would be a more useful source of your energy than what you have been putting into this thread in terms of constant defensive responses.

i will decide whats more use for my energy. there were no defensive responses, just the truth.

RedPandaDan

end of the road wrote: »

if we all could get away with not paying we probably all would try it. there are systems to deal with it, if the revenue can't be bothered thats the revenues fault.

Do you seriously believe that the only issue people have with crime is that they are not able to get away with it?

Sociopath2

end of the road wrote: »

if we all could get away with not paying we probably all would try it. there are systems to deal with it, if the revenue can't be bothered thats the revenues fault.



wrong.



i all ready did read them. years ago. yes the issues run deep but bigotry toards them is rife whether one wishes to admit it or not. they aren't the only ones bigotry is rife toards though



i don't need to do research.



i will decide whats more use for my energy. there were no defensive responses, just the truth.

At least you admit you're just making it up. I would imagine you have no real life experience of dealing with travellers, especially when they are causing problems. This inflexible extreme left wing at all costs attitude really undermines your argument.

Annasopra

Wibbs wrote: »

That is an interesting question MW and many if not the majority of women(and men) in wider Irish society would find the idea odd that women are seen and treated differently and it would be hard for them to see why women would want that. The funny thing is some women do. Take a different angle. Far more women than men are converts to Islam, which outsiders would see as having very strict differences between the genders and their roles. Much more "old fashioned" as it were. You would think that more men would be lining up to convert, but nope.

Its also fascinating to me how much work women do in the Catholic Church. The day to day running of many churches is done by women workers and women volunteers.

eviltwin

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Its also fascinating to me how much work women do in the Catholic Church. The day to day running of many churches is done by women workers and women volunteers.

Add to that the fact that its often women, sometimes quite young women, who are the most vocal against things like contraception and abortion. Its a head scratcher alright.

Annasopra

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I think it's more to do with indoctrination in travellers. Traveller women are considered third class citizens within their own culture. The only way they can elevate themselves class is by getting married and having kids. A traveller woman knows that if her daughter acts outside the rules she will be treated badly by her community so they encourage their daughters to follow in their image. It's hard not to have sympathy for most traveller women.

Yeah but actually traveller women will actually engage in education much more. You goto any traveller community project around the country - they find it fairly easy to engage traveller women but not so easy to engage traveller men.

Annasopra

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I'd be interested to know if you know any openly gay travellers. I met one before and his community didn't seem to know how to deal with him. Some were hostile to him but many just seemed to work on a don't ask don't tell policy. They'd all just pretend he was straight.

To be fair things are changing in the travelling community and there is an lgbt pavee group.

Sociopath2

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Yeah but actually traveller women will actually engage in education much more. You goto any traveller community project around the country - they find it fairly easy to engage traveller women but not so easy to engage traveller men.

Traveller men seem a lot more entrenched in the backwards aspects of their culture. There is enormous pressure on them to conform to a certain stereotype of a man, and education has no place in that.

end of the road

Sociopath2 wrote: »

At least you admit you're just making it up.

i haven't admitted anything of the sort because i'm not making anything up

Sociopath2 wrote: »

I would imagine you have no real life experience of dealing with travellers, especially when they are causing problems.

i have. however the fact is there is bad people in the world both traveler and non traveler. i don't use my experiences to judge a whole community, i'm not gullible like that.

Sociopath2 wrote: »

This inflexible extreme left wing at all costs attitude really undermines your argument.

no it doesn't, as there is no inflexible extreme, or any kind of left wing at all costs attitude from me. so it doesn't undermine anything as its non existant apart from in your head.

Sociopath2

end of the road wrote: »

i haven't admitted anything of the sort because i'm not making anything up



i have. however the fact is there is bad people in the world both traveler and non traveler. i don't use my experiences to judge a whole community, i'm not gullible like that.



no it doesn't, as there is no inflexible extreme, or any kind of left wing at all costs attitude from me. so it doesn't undermine anything as its non existant apart from in your head.

It's the same nonsense day in, day out with you. Every thing you don't have an answer for "doesn't exist".