Perspective for a new parent to be

NewYork1979

Hi there

I'd appreciate the perspective of mums and dads on this.

I am due to go on maternity leave the middle of May. I'd planned on taking two months off and then carry out my role from home part-time. My OH works from home too so we would both be about for baby minding. Assuming all goes well with baby and he is well of course.

My question is, am I mad to contemplate this? Should I just forget work? Obviously I have no idea what I am facing but more importantly I don't ever want to regret not having this time with my new baby. I will be paid something, not full pay while I'm out but that involves me being on call so to speak after two months. This isn't a money issue as such, we will manage if I'm not paid. I suppose we are in a good position that we will both be at home so this could work.

I'd appreciate any opinions from a very green mum to be.

Thank you.

daheff

I'd suggest give it a go. If it doesnt work out you can always quit. & its not so easy to get part time work from home jobs these days.

pwurple

Should be fine as long as everyone is healthy and well.

Just watch your tax and benefits. I did some small bits on leave to help people out when they were stuck (tooks some calls, sent some emails etc), but I couldn't charge for it, as i don't think you can claim the state maternity benefit if you do paid work.

emer_b

OP I could have managed this fine with my first baby who is a great sleeper. No way could I have managed it with my second who is not!
Also whether you are breast or bottle feeding will play a huge part in how much demand is on your time, both day and night. You might plan to rely on pumping some of the time but realistically it's hard to find the time/energy to do it unless you really need to.
Hard decision to make in advance. Great to have your husband around so much though. Best of luck!

Moonbeam

It is worth keeping in mind if you go back to work you forgo your state maternity benefit.
We all do what we need to and if this is what you need to do then go do it.
If you have a choice I would wait a bit longer for your own recovery to go back.

NewYork1979

I guess it all depends on baby. I just don't want to regret anything, work will always be there. I am lucky in that a few things are in my favour with hubby, employer etc.

It's weird just not knowing what being a new parent is going to feel like. Maybe I won't want anything but the baby for a while. So much change, it's frightening at times.

seventeen sheep

Well you say that money isn't an issue, so in that case, I'd forget the idea and just plan to make the most of your time off with your baby. If you happen to have a baby who sleeps enough for you to be on top of everything baby- and house-related, and still have spare time left over, why not use it to focus on something new for yourself, something non-work-related, maybe a new sport or hobby or something?

If you think it would be best for you to return from work from a financial perspective, I think it might be doable, but really if possible it would be best to decide closer the time, after the baby arrives.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Why would you do this. Is it because you think you will miss work or because you think you will be bored at home?
Yes, with your first child you should have plenty of time, I took my full leave from work but worked on another project at my own pace when baby was asleep.
With my second baby I took full leave but was under pressure to work on another project when baby was young, and I do regret this time that I was under pressure to get stuff done and not spend time with baby.
Now with my 3rd there is not a chance I would go back a day early.
If you tell work that you are going back early the you may be u Der a lot of pressure and regret it, particularly if you have to work at certain times.
But if you dont have to why would you? Take time out, and enjoy your baby and yourself.

LegacyUser

I had our first baby during last summer. I had to finish a thesis for college by Christmas.

I thought sure get it done no bother while she sleeps a couple of hours a day in naps, right?
I was so wrong.

She was a 40 min catnapper in the daytime. There was no sleep! And in the 40mins I had (at the very least) to clean/sterilise bottles, wash and fold clothes, try and eat(!) myself, try and do some bit of tidying,shower, empty bins and do any other bits around the house that might have needed doing and been left undone the previous day.

If I were you I would very cautiously leave myself wide open on that one until you see how it goes. To be honest, 8 weeks is quite soon. I've heard that it takes a new mother 4 months to get comfortable in the role, and I can say that's not far wrong. You just don't know what to expect from every day, you don't know how tired you will be, you don't know how the feeds will go, you don't know so much. And nothing - but nothing - can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that it is.

As witnessed by me right now - the baby has been asleep for the last hour and I could be doing a pile of housework, but I'm here on Boards! Because my brain needs a break!!(she's a much better sleeper since she turned 6 months, but I put in a lot of groundwork on it)

Speaking as someone who had to spend every free minute in recent months trying to finish a thesis, I would not recommend committing to anything, to be honest. And my husband was around and did his best, but it's really damn hard.It's exhausting. And you don't want to spend any bit of free time you get sitting down to work, when you would rather take a bit of a break.

I really, really would commit to nothing on this right now if I were you. If you find after 2/3 months that you would like to keep your hand in work, and things are going ok, then maybe talk to them then. But to be honest, you may find at 8 weeks that you'd rather sit on the sofa with your baby asleep on you, and just watch their little face - and that's totally ok too. The job is not going anywhere, you say you can manage financially, and most importantly - you will never get this time back. So think long and hard.

That's my 2 cents (and now I've to go, there's been a wail from upstairs!)

Soooky

As others have already said, it all depends on baby and your own situation. I was supposed to work 6 hours per week from home when baby reached 6 weeks and I found that really tough to fit in! We breastfed and LO wasn't the greatest sleeper for the first few months, and I really needed to sleep when baby slept. The last thing I wanted to do was look at paperwork They are only little for such a short time ....:)

NewYork1979

Thank you all for your input.

I've decided to just take the time off, completely for three months and then I'll have the option of just continuing that for the following three or six months. I feel something like relief at my decision, while it all sounded good in theory and it may have worked, it's actually nice to just park work for a while and just spend time with the new arrival and get used to my family's new life.

Thank you all again, it was much appreciated.