First Baby Worries

baby_pebble

Hi there, I'm popping in from the pregnancy forum, I am due in just under 4 weeks time.
This is my first baby so basically nerves are setting in big time!
To start I'm nervous about when labour actually starts, as in how will I actually know? I've been cramping a lot lately and figure it will be much worse than this? I don't mind actual labour as once I'm in hospital I should be looked after!

Secondly I'm actually getting very nervous at the thought of a baby, being mine if that makes sense? My bf is all excited and I'm just a ball of nerves and feel so bad?

Finally I was in my final year college and on btea so have taken the year out, currently have no other form of income (jsa) and my bf is looking for work aswell which is not going well considering all the cvs that are being sent, I'm feeling so unprepared and just worried about money in general. And to top it off the car is giving us trouble!

Sorry for the long post but needed to get it out of my system and hopefully gain some advice from the mums on here.

Moonbeam

Take a deep breath...

1st of all Congratulations:)

From what I hear 1st babies are rarely planned,mine definitely was not.

It is not the ideal time for you financially but on the brightside until your boyfriend gets a job you will have help at home and he will get to spend time with his baby.

If neither of you are working is a car a necessity? If not maybe you could give it up until you really need one again?

New babies need very little,nappies,milk,car seat, vest ,bibs and baby gros and somewhere to sleep are the necessities.
If people offer to buy you presents do not by shy if asked to tell them what you need.

baby_pebble

Thank you Moombeam, with where we live a car is necessary as my gp and the hospital are an hour away so cannot be relying on others or public transport.

RecordStraight

OP, don't worry. The baby will teach you how to be a parent just the same as you teach him or her everything else.

On the financial side, there is loads of stuff you only need for a very short time, and there are loads of people with nearly new stuff to give away. You can save a fortune that way.

orchidsrpretty

Congrats on your impending arrival. I could of written your post 5 months ago. I was so worried that I wasnt ready. I went into a false labour and nearly had a meltdown when the midwife told me I was actually going to give birth! I wasn't ready. A week later when actual labour kicked in I didn't have a second to have any of those kind of thoughts. Your mind kind of switches off and you go into 'animal' mode. Your body just put every ounce of energy into getting the baby out.

Don't worry about not knowing when real labour starts. There is no chance could mistake it for anything else.

5 months in, I still have mini panic attacks about the fact that I'm a mum and little lives are depending on me. I often worry I'm. Or making the right decisions or what if something I do has a negitive impact on them in the future.
I'm guessing all this worry etc is just a natural part of being a mum.

You are going to be fine.

Typer Monkey

Don't worry about not recognising the onset of labour..you'll know!

The pain is regular and gets progressively worse. Early labour on your first generally lasts a good while so you'll have lots of time. I went into the hospital far too early as I just didn't know how to tell when to go in. I was only 1cm dilated when I got there :-) it got waaaay worse but still took almost 24 hours before I was 4cm and could go to the labour ward.

I was totally clueless too and had only changed one nappy in my life and had spent no time around babies. As another poster said, you just learn on the job. I found forums like this one a great help..and my mother and MIL.

Take all the help that's offered and try not to freak out too much.

baby_pebble

Thank you for all the replies, I have most of the things sorted for baby it's just as time goes by I'm worried we will start to run low on funds.. Til then I'm praying bf finds a job! Like ye said hopefully I will just slip right into motherhood and be a pron in no time

orchidsrpretty

You don't need that much money to keep a baby. Most things are optional. So far I have bought the bulk of my baby clothes from adverts/charity shops and just picked up a few things I like if I have spare money. Most baby clothes are in perfect condition as they are barely worn.keep an eye on adverts, done deal etc for clothes bundles. I have twins and am bottle feeding them and using disposable nappies and wipes. It's costing me 45€ a week for their upkeep. It will cost way less if you plan on breastfeeding ofc. You could also use cloth nappies although the initial,outlay for them can cost a bit. So even if your funds are low you will always have the child benefit which will keep your baby going.

LegacyUser

I also had baby recently (7 months!)

You will know labour once it starts. And your body really knows what it's doing, trust it.
It just takes over everything, and you go with it. As someone said it's "animal" - it's literally completely primal, your conscious self is just along for the ride. I had 2 weeks of cramping beforehand too, but the more days the cramping went on for (without getting worse), the more I thought "this isn't labour yet"...if that helps... Mine was a bit textbook in that waters broke, then contractions started, but everyone is different. Once it really starts up, you'll know though. Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief, the hospital won't necessarily offer it to you - sometimes they'll just let you at it if they think you're managing ok!!!

The best description I've heard is that for the first 6 weeks, you fit into the baby's life, then after that, they start fitting into yours. It's quite true. First 6 weeks - feed, sleep, cry, feed,sleep, cry (and stare adoringly, as the parent ) But you do get the hang of it, it's in you. I know you're worried about money, but don't be afraid to look on Donedeal etc, for stuff, and many places do swap sales - Cuidiu run sales every so often. And anyone you know that has kids will probably be delighted to pass stuff on too, because they really get so little wear out of clothes etc. Just worry about you and the baby for now, and everything else will come together over time.

Also 7 months in - I'm not all that sure what I'm doing somedays. But the baby seems happy anyway, and none of us have gone mad, so that's got to be good...right?!! And that little bundle just sweeps away every feeling you have except love and complete awe. There's not much room for anything else!

LegacyUser

I can understand your worry about money, both myself and my partner were in the same position as you and yours When i had my little boy (4years ago now)
Its daunting but you will work it all out. The best thing we found was buying extra formula and enough nappies for a month at a time on allowance week.
The thoughts of running low on funds i found awful but it never actually happened for us, i didnt find it near as bad as i thought it would be.

Congratulations and enjoy x