Toddler sleep problems

Julo12

Really need help with 2.5 ur old as her sleep has gone totally off track and has been going on for over a month now.

Bedtime is a battle - she whines or has full on tantrum thru all getting changed etc then refuses to get in bed. Usually I do bedtime on my own about 7 or before if she's really exhausted.

Routine didn't change but she did start potty training 1 mth ago and got a new sibling 3 mths ago.

For a few days me lying on the other bed on her room worked but now she only wants to get in that bed with me or daddy. That would be fine if she'd go to sleep with us there but she won't. Even once she goes asleep after up to 2 hrs she wakes up and thinks it's fun to scream or jump on dad's head.

For the last 2 wks or so I've been just letting her come back downstairs after she's ready as I have the dinner to get and baby has to get last feed and be put to bed. I tell her she has to sit on couch and be quiet. There's no tv and no activity. Sometimes she'll fall asleep pretty quickly on couch and I can move her to her bed but that's rare. Other times she'll start jumping etc to get attention which I ignore unless dangerous. If she wakes when I try to move her it's full on tantrum.

I'm probably getting to the stage where I think we need outside help. I've read books, forums etc and tried to implement some of the ideas but I can't seem to make her understand/care enough for anything to work with reward charts etc.
It's a vicious circle as she's so tired during the day everything is a battle. She's still in crèche full time until 2 weeks when she'll just be 2 days. In crèche she won't nap. At home at the wkend I usually go for a drive around lunchtime and let her sleep for an hr or two as otherwise she's unbearable for the afternoon. That won't always be possible once she's home with me and baba so I really need her to go back to getting 12 hrs at night and I just please really want my sunny girl back!!!!

Sorry for long post just really looking for some support / ideas / recommendations for a sleep trainer?

ariana`

Gosh poor you. I couldn't read and not reply though i have no real advice or experience to the same degree. My eldest was similar age to yours when the 2nd child arrived and we did have a bit of disturbed sleep for a while but we never gave in and brought him back downstairs or did anything different to what had always been his bedtime routine, we stuck it out til it passed. We bought him a new bedside light/torch with his favourite character to try to make his bed-room more enticing and as a reward for being the best big brother (we made a big deal out of this) and eventually the phase passed and he fell back into routine.

Maybe try to tackle the nap firstly as a well slept child will be easier to settle at night? My lad also started refusing to nap when the baby came and i did change the routine for that as i was home alone, up to then he always napped in his bed, but i started to settle him on the couch with a blanket and his comforter and i'd sit nearby where he could see me, i'd usually be b'feeding the baby, til he nodded off. It was just for the last few months of napping really but it got us over the hump because he did still need a nap of some sort.

Best of luck.

Julo12

ariana` wrote: »

Gosh poor you. I couldn't read and not reply though i have no real advice or experience to the same degree. My eldest was similar age to yours when the 2nd child arrived and we did have a bit of disturbed sleep for a while but we never gave in and brought him back downstairs or did anything different to what had always been his bedtime routine, we stuck it out til it passed. We bought him a new bedside light/torch with his favourite character to try to make his bed-room more enticing and as a reward for being the best big brother (we made a big deal out of this) and eventually the phase passed and he fell back into routine.

Maybe try to tackle the nap firstly as a well slept child will be easier to settle at night? My lad also started refusing to nap when the baby came and i did change the routine for that as i was home alone, up to then he always napped in his bed, but i started to settle him on the couch with a blanket and his comforter and i'd sit nearby where he could see me, i'd usually be b'feeding the baby, til he nodded off. It was just for the last few months of napping really but it got us over the hump because he did still need a nap of some sort.

Best of luck.

Thanks Ariana. I really admire ppl who don't give in!! I don't know whether we're too soft or our girl is especially headstrong but the first night she refused to go to bed I just put her in and she got so hysterical I thought she was going to hurt herself. I then tried calming her, reasoning etc for over an hr and it just didn't get me anywhere...
I've cut out tv after 5pm cos she was asking to come back downstairs and watch one more show but as I said she doesn't care if she's sitting there doing nothing!!
I think the nap thing has gone to be honest as unless she's in the car or the buggy (and that's a big fight too!) she won't do it. That was actually ok when she was sleeping from 7.30 to 7 or 8 but now that she might sleep from 10 to 6 with hours awake within that on a really bad night she's just a bag of cats all day (as are me and hubby!)

Bought a Mickey Mouse duvet set as she was refusing the gro bags but even tho she likes it she still doesn't want to get under it!... Next step I think will be to turn cot bed into toddler bed. We were holding off as wanted baby to start sleeping bit better and/or in own room but given she refuses to get into cot now and no sign of baby dropping any of her many (!) night feeds we may as well go for it I suppose...

ariana`

Oh dear sounds like a really really tough time, i can't imagine. I do know one girl who used a sleep consultant, she did it over Skype/Facetime i think and she found her really good. I think it was someone based in Cork but i'm not sure. I could find out for you.

My little one was in a bed at 23mths before the baby arrived so i can't advised on that but if she's 2.5yr she's probably a good age but i can why you'd want things more settled before making more changes!

It's a big change for your little girl having a new sibling and toilet training. I know it's hard with a newborn but is she getting one-to-one time with you during the day at all, it might be good for her to reassure her, maybe she is just acting out as it gets your attention? Even a few minutes each day with lots of encouragement/praise and letting her lead the play...

Julo12

ariana` wrote: »

Oh dear sounds like a really really tough time, i can't imagine. I do know one girl who used a sleep consultant, she did it over Skype/Facetime i think and she found her really good. I think it was someone based in Cork but i'm not sure. I could find out for you.

My little one was in a bed at 23mths before the baby arrived so i can't advised on that but if she's 2.5yr she's probably a good age but i can why you'd want things more settled before making more changes!

It's a big change for your little girl having a new sibling and toilet training. I know it's hard with a newborn but is she getting one-to-one time with you during the day at all, it might be good for her to reassure her, maybe she is just acting out as it gets your attention? Even a few minutes each day with lots of encouragement/praise and letting her lead the play...

Thanks again. Re reading your first post I think a torch or small light might be a good idea as she hates when I turn out the light now even tho she has night light and landing light on.

Yes the attention thing was an issue when baby was small and I was feeding 24 7 but now I pick her up early so we usually have play time in evening while baba asleep. Also sat morning is our time to go to park while dad minds sleeping baba!

Just so much going on in her lil head I don't think she knows what to do with it all. Anyway hopefully it's just a phase and we will be on to the next thing soon... Kids!

ariana`

I hope things improve soon. One thing i always say with my 2 is i can cope with anything that happens during the day once they go to bed for me fairly easily and sleep pretty well, and thankfully for now touch wood they're doing that, it makes all the difference to my sanity levels!

RentDayBlues

Julo12 wrote: »

Thanks again. Re reading your first post I think a torch or small light might be a good idea as she hates when I turn out the light now even tho she has night light and landing light on.

!

Toilet training here really messed up sleep, but only for 2 weeks. We have this for our toddler, at her bedside so she can turn it on if she needs it, really works well
http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/00097950/

Suucee

Oh wow you poor thing. its so hard with 2 when you dont get enough sleep. My daughter was 23mnths when my son was born, she was already in a toddler bed and we had never had any issues going to bed. we kept her routine but it was hard with the baby too so when baba was 1-2 mnths we started including him in routine. we would put the baba bath in the bath with toddler in the bath also, she helped wash the baby and we washed her too. then they both got in pjs, she seen that he was going to bed too. gave him a kiss and went in to her own room and went to bed. I think she knew he was down stairs with us and jealous. so with him going to bed (although waking up loads after that for feeds) at the same time she was more settled. we potty trained at 2yrs 4 mnths and had no issues with sleep then.
recently though (2yrs 10mnths) she has been really unsettled going to bed, using every excuse not to go (wee, drink, cuddle, story etc etc) this could go on for up to 1.5hrs so we dropped day time nap and no problem. we now have wind down time where she sits on the couch and watches a dvd with her "raggy" and relaxes while the baby is napping and mama is have some lunch.

If sleep is so bad now it might be worth putting her in toddler bed and just creating a new routine and if possible maybe including baby too .

2xj3hplqgsbkym

I am nearly in same situation. My almost 2 and half year old, goes to sleep when we lie with her without too much protest. Then wakes about 1 and I bring her into our bed.
Our fault completely for developing bad habits, but this arose after many night time tantrums, constantly waking her 4 year old brother, when I was 2 months pregnant, working full time and exhausted.
Now with 3 weeks to go til my baby arrives (too late I know!), my plan is....
She is getting new bed this week. I will tell her mammy/ daddy can't go in this bed, it is just for x.make it all pretty etc.. maybe get night light. Put chair beside it and sit on chair until she goes to sleep. Then in middle of night repeat as necessary, through tears and tantrums and all.
This is the plan, will let you know how it goes!
(she doesn't nap by the way for about 6 months now).

Julo12

Noah Careful Clergyman wrote: »

I am nearly in same situation. My almost 2 and half year old, goes to sleep when we lie with her without too much protest. Then wakes about 1 and I bring her into our bed.
Our fault completely for developing bad habits, but this arose after many night time tantrums, constantly waking her 4 year old brother, when I was 2 months pregnant, working full time and exhausted.
Now with 3 weeks to go til my baby arrives (too late I know!), my plan is....
She is getting new bed this week. I will tell her mammy/ daddy can't go in this bed, it is just for x.make it all pretty etc.. maybe get night light. Put chair beside it and sit on chair until she goes to sleep. Then in middle of night repeat as necessary, through tears and tantrums and all.
This is the plan, will let you know how it goes!
(she doesn't nap by the way for about 6 months now).

Just an update to say I am now doing something similar. She has to go in her bed (still a cot for the moment til we see how this goes) then I sit on the single bed in her room until she falls asleep. Have been doing it for wk. last night was the worst as took her an hr to fall asleep.. However she also wakes about 1. If I go in and sit on bed she will usually go back to sleep but usually wakes again at 4 and either messes or demands daddy so she can get in bed with him. If he does first waking she goes in bed with him then (he is complete pushover!)
So slight improvement with getting her to bed but not much progress on night wakings... I know I should prob start moving towards door while she's awake for bedtime so she gets used to going to sleep by herself (like she used to!) but the nightmare of the last month is still too fresh in my head at the moment so I think I'll give it another week...
Succee have thought about moving babas bedtime fwd but she's such an awful sleeper too that often her first 3/4 hr stretch is the only one of the night so I need to sleep then too as after that she can be up every hr 😢 I usually have her on the bed with me feeding while waiting for the 2 yr old to fall asleep and I think she likes knowing we're all there!

ariana`

Julo i think you need to get Daddy on board. Ye need to be both following the same routines at bed-time or for night wakings, i would sit him down for a good chat about it and come up with a plan that you can both stick too so she's getting consistency from ye. It sounds like you've made progress but the night wakings could drag on especially if she knows eventually Daddy will give in. And when you're mentally ready, to start moving nearer the door is a great idea.

We recently had a situation where my 2yr 4mth old woke 2-3 nights in a row completely out of the blue with no reason or change to routine. The first night it happened i ended up taking him into bed with me but none of us got any sleep because he had to lie down along me and with the bump i couldn't breathe! So the next night i swore i'd leave him in his room but anytime i went in he would stand up, arms up, asking me to hug him or to sit in the chair for cuddles. I did but it went on for hours, i couldn't get him back into his cot, eventually in my pregnant exhausted state i went and woke my hubby, he walked into the room and toddler lied down and went back to sleep in a matter of minutes with no tears or fuss. So once i saw that i realised he was playing me knowing i'm a pushover, after that i never took him out again i just soothed/reassured him from the side of the cot and after a couple of nights he went back to normal sleeping through thankfully.