Finally made the decision

NeonSquares

Hello everyone,

I live in Dublin but originally from Cork, my other half is a Dub and is allergic to the country, no joke, first visit to Cork and the country air played havoc with her hay fever ha! so I was destined to move up to the pale. I love both my adoption parents, to me they are my parents no if and or buts about it. Now I've a family of my own, our little one is 4 months old, I've decided that if even its just for medical background reasons I'd initiate a trace. My little one thankfully doesn't have any major medical issues only a suspected allergy to dairy still unconfirmed.

Info I've managed to get to date;

1: My case was dealt with by Abbeycourt House in Cork(Now HSE)
2: My baptism name (which my parents kept as my middle name when they got me)
3: Church where I was most likely baptised as my parents got it issued from there.

I wasn't handed to my parents until 6 months after my birth and my birth mother included a letter which was meant for me when older with a reason saying her and my birth father were young, not in good circumstances to look after me and she was the primary carer in her family(oldest sibling in her family and from the sounds of it main bread winner) and wanted a better life for me. I'm happy with the reasoning for putting me up for adoption and don't hold any grudges because I did have a fantastic upbringing and couldn't have asked for more loving parents.

So I'll end by asking those with the knowledge, armed with the information I have, what would be my next best step?, I'd appreciate any and all help you guys can provide.

rinsjwind

Hi Neonsquares

First thing is to get on to the HSE (now called Tusla) adoption service, now based in Glanmire (021-4858650) and ask about getting your "non identifying" background information. This will be stuff like your original forename, your birth mams forename, her background biographical details, a rough idea where she was from, circumstances around your placement etc. As you were born in the 80's, there's a (slightly) better chance they'll also have some background medical info about you such as pre/post natal records, vaccinations and any illnesses/ailments you might have had in that first 6 months.

Armed with that, you can then have a look at the trace guides (see the stickys above) and go from there.

While you're at it, you may as well ask the guys in glanmire to put on their, very long : - ( , waiting list to do a trace and initiate contact on your behalf with your birth parent/s and/or extended birth family such as siblings, aunties etc. as doing the tracing yourself (while very exciting, satisfying etc.) can also be difficult enough (e.g. you discover your birth mother was a 19 year old from Cork called Mary Murphy or Ann O'Sullivan : - ) so why not let them do some of the groundwork for you?

The Adoption Authority in Dublin also have a Contact Register which you can join which provides for various levels of contact between adopted adults and their birth relatives ranging from a one off exchange of info through a third party to full scale reunions involving an entire extended maternal and/or paternal birth family. The last I heard they had put around 700 adoptees in touch with a birth family member. That's out of around 7000 adoptees registered mind you, I know 1 in 10 aren't great odds but certainly good enough to be worth a try?
Their number is 01-2309300.

Finally, there is lots of support and advice out there so make use of it, there several adopted persons peer support groups, (see stickys again) and the Barnardos Post Adoption Service run a very good course for adopted people who are considering this step, the next one is in April, see http://www.barnardos.ie/what-we-do/our-services/specialist-services/adoption/exploring-adoption-a-course-for-adopted-adults.html.

Good luck

Rins

Hermy

Sorry to butt in here but just wondering rinsjwind - is that Glanmire number just for Cork adoptions or for all enquiries about non-identifying information?

rinsjwind

Hi Hermy

No, it's just for the Tusla (formerly the HSE) regional adoption service, they hold the records from the Sacred Heart in Bessboro, the old Cork Health Authority/Southern Health Board adoption services and, I think, St Annes Adoption Society in Cork city?

Cheers

Rins

Hermy

I'd be St. Patrick's Guild so not sure if they've transferred all their files yet.

NeonSquares

rinsjwind wrote: »

Hi Neonsquares

First thing is to get on to the HSE (now called Tusla) adoption service, now based in Glanmire (021-4858650) and ask about getting your "non identifying" background information. This will be stuff like your original forename, your birth mams forename, her background biographical details, a rough idea where she was from, circumstances around your placement etc. As you were born in the 80's, there's a (slightly) better chance they'll also have some background medical info about you such as pre/post natal records, vaccinations and any illnesses/ailments you might have had in that first 6 months.

Armed with that, you can then have a look at the trace guides (see the stickys above) and go from there.

While you're at it, you may as well ask the guys in glanmire to put on their, very long : - ( , waiting list to do a trace and initiate contact on your behalf with your birth parent/s and/or extended birth family such as siblings, aunties etc. as doing the tracing yourself (while very exciting, satisfying etc.) can also be difficult enough (e.g. you discover your birth mother was a 19 year old from Cork called Mary Murphy or Ann O'Sullivan : - ) so why not let them do some of the groundwork for you?

The Adoption Authority in Dublin also have a Contact Register which you can join which provides for various levels of contact between adopted adults and their birth relatives ranging from a one off exchange of info through a third party to full scale reunions involving an entire extended maternal and/or paternal birth family. The last I heard they had put around 700 adoptees in touch with a birth family member. That's out of around 7000 adoptees registered mind you, I know 1 in 10 aren't great odds but certainly good enough to be worth a try?
Their number is 01-2309300.

Finally, there is lots of support and advice out there so make use of it, there several adopted persons peer support groups, (see stickys again) and the Barnardos Post Adoption Service run a very good course for adopted people who are considering this step, the next one is in April,.

Good luck

Rins

Cheers for the info Rins, helps a lot!,

I was onto Tulsa and have been given an estimated time of a year and a half for a trace, no estimate on the non identification info but it won't be that long.

Seeing as I have my known birth name and [obvious]date of birth, would it be worth me heading into the GRO and searching the 2 hospitals I was more than likely born in to at least get the first name of my birth mother?.

rinsjwind

That's entirely up to you man, the index books for the 80's have the date of birth and the registration district so it should be fairly easy to find. Just beware that there were an average of around 20 kids born "out of wedlock" "every day back then so, especially if you were originally called John, Mick, Paddy or similar : -), follow the traceguide exactly and don't stop with the first one you find that matches the details you have?

Good luck.

Rins

Ghekko

Best of luck. It's such a shame the civil register was taken offline last summer. We found dh's record within minutes and ordered his birth cert. Wait until you get some non identifying info. They may provide you with your bm's first name which would be a great help. Dh wasn't waiting long for his info. I also emailed the church where I assumed he was baptised and asked for his cert, giving his original name. I got an email back asking to ring. So I did, knowing full well they wouldn't give it then! The poor woman sounded in a heap asking me if I knew Dh had been 'legally adopted'. She used the word legally each time! Anyway if nothing else it confirmed we had his correct birth cert as she mentioned both his names in the conversation! Dh is waiting 9 months now for an appt with sw in west and was told back then he was 5th on the list. Really thought he would have been called by now. It's beyond frustrating.

dante2015

Best of luck with it

Like you i was adopted, i cant offer any advice though as i was adopted in the uk (by Irish parents) so the law and finding out is different from here

it took the social services in the uk around 3 months to find my Birth mother and my sister and to set up a meeting with them , so i was one of the lucky ones

I wish you well with your search and hope it comes to a happy conclusion