Sleeping through the night...even half would be great!!

emer_b

I'm at my wits end with my 6 month old. She's so happy, content, placid during the day. Exclusively breastfed, thriving and loving solids for the past two weeks.

However, a typical night goes like this: bed around 7.30, wake at 9.30, midnight, 3am, 6am, 8am. I feed her at all these wakings except maybe the 9.30 one because I know for sure she's not hungry then! (This does involve a lot of crying though).

I'm wrecked. I've spent a lot of time doing sleep training and for the past 6 weeks she's been going into the cot awake, cries for a few mins and then falls asleep. So I know she can get herself back to sleep and often does during her daytime naps. She naps well in the daytime. I can't believe she's waking from hunger, I think it's just habit. However I can hardly expect her to go all night without a feed but how do I feed her at some wakings and not at others? Is this the way to go?

I did everything the same with my first and she was sleeping 10 hrs at this stage. Any advice?

Thanks

galah

I hear ya. Our son is 13 months and has slept through about ten times. In 13 months. Will wake up every few hours and shout. Goes back to sleep handy enough, but it means i never get more than 3hours in one go. Tired doesnt describe it, I'm a veritable delight in work as well, so my team tells me

He sleeps fine during the day and putting him down isnt a prob either, it's just the constant waking.

Our first slept through from 6 months, so this is really getting to me. So if you find a solution, please pass it on

madeinamerica

no advice, just commiserations. I'm in the same boat, 6 months old (tomorrow) and wakes a few times a night. Can go to sleep by himself sometimes when he wakes from a nap if he doesn't see us but at night he wants comfort mostly. I can't do cry-it-out though. I'm wrecked!

RentDayBlues

Sounds like she has you where she wants you, I feel your pain! My first slept through from 5 months, my second has just started now at 12 months. She woke a lot too, but I knew not all were for hunger, it was habit.

I worked on making sure she slept and had lots of breastfeeds during the day. Then each night I set myself a time: if she wakes before x time I will not feed her, just soothe her. The last of these times was the 5am feed just after Christmas, she didn't need it, it was habit.

When she woke I waited 5 mins to see if she would settle, if not I went it, soothes her, left and reset the clock. Did 5, 7 and 10 min intervals. Took about a week but she finally slept til past 6:30 which I could cope with.

At 6 months I fed and put her to bed at 7:30, she would sleep til 3 and then I would feed her. She's wake again at 5 and 7, sometimes I would feed for easy option but I wished I'd tried to let her self soothe earlier. At 7 months I managed to stretch her to 7:30-5 and left it at that until after christmas. We were getting 7:30-7 but she's sick this week so it's 7:30-6ish

January

It's not a habit at that age. There's something bothering them whether they're hungry, sore, cold etc you just have to figure it out and power through.

Believe me I say this as someone with 4 kids none of which slept through until after they were one (the youngest is nearly ten months and is sometimes up once or twice a night depending).

sari

Agree with January.
My initial thought was maybe she is waking for comfort and reassurance after being put into bed alone and awake and crying before sleep. So she is worried about being alone and keeps waking for reassurance that you are there and will come to her.
Would you try letting her fall asleep in arms and then transferring to bed.
Bear in mind whatever you try it will take awhile to settle in

LegacyUser

I did the same as RentDayBlues - based on strong advice from grandmother and mother who had each raised several children. Once they sleep through the night once, do not feed them, because it creates a habit (that was the advice).

That was interpreted by us to mean once she slept about 6 hours in a row, she was able for it, and not waking from hunger. To make sure that she wasn't starving, she had a bedtime bottle at 7 and another dream feed at 10 or so. That was it until at least 4am (this was at 4 months). Any wakings in between may mean hanging over the cot with a soother, or going in and out a few times - but no food. This mainly happened around the 4 month mark for a couple of weeks, then it stopped and she sleeps through now, 7pm until around 5:30am. She has been doing this since around 5 months. She's 8 months now. I make sure she has a late-ish tea, with a good amount of food, and then she has a bottle at bedtime too. We are phasing out the 10pm feed aswell, she's been doing well so far.

We did up the amount in the bedtime bottle when she was waking - so if she was on 180ml bottles during the day, she got a 210ml bottle at 7pm. Just to be sure. Maybe you could pump milk for just that feed and make sure she gets a bit extra? Might be something to consider.

I also noticed that while she was waking during the night, if I made it interesting for her, she kept waking.(monkey!!). "Interesting" means anything from taking her out of her cot, to feeding her. I noticed that about the second week of night wakings - it wasn't wind and it wasn't hunger - she was grinning up at me when I looked into the cot. So I left her in there and simply replaced the soother repeatedly. When she realised there was nothing else going on, she went back to sleep - eventually. Next night she woke an hour later - went back to sleep quicker. And so on. After four nights, she slept through.

Maybe to break the habit gently try and not feed for one of those wakings, say the midnight one? Just tough it out - I don't mean let the baby cry, I mean soothe, use soother, whatever you have, but do not take out of cot, and don't feed until the next waking would occur, around 3am. It will mean a few sleepless night (have been there, it's completely torturous), but it is totally worth it in the long run. Also I don't know what you use in bed but maybe consider introducing soft bear, soother or something as a prop instead of feeding, if you don't already have something.

Good luck

tinkerbell

How is her feeding going during the day emer_b? What's a typical day like for feed, nap etc?

pwurple

Has she got any attachment things? Like a comfort blanket that smells like you?

If not, give it a go. I realised at about 5 months that I had not gotten our second child into a blankie. I put a very small blanket (it's more like a washcloth tbh)) under my own bedclothes for a few nights and then gave it to her. She settles herself mostly when she wakes now that she has one, nuzzles blanket a bit, back to sleep.

RentDayBlues

pwurple wrote: »

Has she got any attachment things? Like a comfort blanket that smells like you?

If not, give it a go. I realised at about 5 months that I had not gotten our second child into a blankie. I put a very small blanket (it's more like a washcloth tbh)) under my own bedclothes for a few nights and then gave it to her. She settles herself mostly when she wakes now that she has one, nuzzles blanket a bit, back to sleep.

Good advice, mine has 2 tiny stuffed dogs she found and they have to be in bed with her along with another larger dog she uses as a pillow! It's funny the things they like. At 6 months she had one of those blanket toys which worked really well too

emer_b

Thank you everyone for the replies, I appreciate you all taking the time.
Lots of suggestions there and definitely some I will try. I hadn't thought of giving her a teddy, she has one that she chews on during the day so that might help. I also put her in the room next to me lastnight but that made no difference...yet. I definitely have to try soothing her more instead of just feeding straight away. Feeding is just the easiest option when energy is so low.
I fed her this morning from 3.30 to 4am. She woke again at 5.50, I tried letting her self soothe (cry) for 10 mins but she just got worse. It's so hard to pick her up and not feed her, once she smells me she just wants milk, I can't blame her for that. I know I could try sending in my husband but he's upstairs with the toddler who just had a really bad 2 weeks of sickness and I don't want her bring disturbed during the night.
Tinkerbell , I think she has a good daytime routine. She has recently changed from 3x40 minute naps to 2x90 minute naps. Awake 2.5 to 3hrs between naps. I feed her when she wakes from a nap and sometimes again before her next nap, but I don't feed her to sleep. She has some porridge and fruit in the morning and a bit of veg purée in the evening (she's only on solids for 2 weeks now).

RentDayBlues

We also used music on a loop to help her sleep, we got a great version of Brahms lullaby that played for 4 hours and used to leave it playing in her room, that way there was constant background noise

I know what you mean about them smelling the milk and I could never send my partner end as she'd end up in our bed then! I found holding them in a cradle hold worked sometimes as they felt comfort, smelt the milk but weren't getting fed. It worked on my first but my second preferred bein upright one shoulder, think it tricked her into thinking she was "up" but she's fall alseep

Moonbeam

I have 4 and all have slept through the night since about 6 weeks(defining the night as 6 hours at that age)
I never put them down for day time naps in their night bed,they all had soothers (this was never intended!) and something to comfort them,a blanket or small teddy.
Have you tried giving her dinner just before bed?
Has she ever slept through the night?

emer_b

Thanks rentdayblues, yes I use white noise on constant with her. Helped a lot in the early days and now once she hears it she knows it's sleepy time. I actually kinda need it myself now to sleep!!

Moonbeam, I'm reluctant to feed her up too much before bed as she spits up a lot and I think she needs time for food to settle. I've been thinking about that a bit today, she still spits up a lot throughout the day and her bowel movements are very slow (4 to 5 days apart, which I know can be normal for a breastfed baby but I think it starts bothering her for a day before she goes), might have a chat to the gp about that. The spitting up doesn't bother her at all though, did any of your breastfed babies still spit up after 6 months? (About 10 times/day, a few teaspoons each time).

She used to sleep 5-7hr stretches when she was 2/3 months old but hasn't slept more than 3/4hrs since then.

Elliottsmum79

Hi there,
Feel very sorry for you- had the same until 9 months until we were nearly demented! I too breastfed my baby and she was constantly waking. In the end we tried every gentle sleep solution and finally worked with a sleep consultant in the US (a registered child psychologist too which was very heartening) who worked with us on a modified form of cry it out with regular check ins to comfort and reassure. Sure, it took 4 nights of crying for her to settle but each night saw a marked improvement in the lenght of time to get to sleep. Having VOWED as a real "attachment parent" that we would never do anything as barbaric as "sleep training" now at 2 years I know it was the BEST thing we ever did, both for baby and us. She was suddenly rested and in much better form. Good sleep begets good sleep for babies and adults alike. Unfortunately, as our sleep consultant said, some babies form an easy sleep pattern but many do not and some are very resistant. We also has a schedule to break/wean the night feeds ( that were exacty the same schedule as yours!!) I really hope you can figure it out and if you ever want a reccommendation drop me a PM. No affilliation btw, we found these ladies in LA after much exhaustive research on the gentlest recommended "sleep training" methods.

SF12

emer_b...I posted as committophobe above, just opened a new account here.

If you want, I have a pdf of a sleep manual, which is gentle sleep training, as mentioned by the last poster. Not just crying it out. It's been extremely useful for us, and a number of friends, and is divided up by age group. It's relatively short and an easy read. I can PM it to you if you are interested.

kitten_k

^^^

Can I have this please?

fall

Me too

emer_b

A little update, and some good news!
I just made a few small changes (as I've been sick myself for the last week, less energy than usual!), put her in room next to mine, teddy, cut out the 9.30pm feed to my husband just comforting her back to sleep (this was just 2hrs after going to bed with a dinner and milk feed).
2 nights ago, she went from 7pm to 11pm, then 11.30pm to 5am....major progress, and the most unbroken sleep I've had in 6 months.
Yesterday her routine got thrown a little bit as she just took a short nap in the car after lunch, had to put her down again around 6pm and let her sleep til she woke around 7pm. As her older sister goes to bed at 7.30, we then had some nice quiet time til 9pm, gave her a lovely massage and she went off to bed with hardly a squeak. Slept til 3am, woohoo! Back to sleep quietly after a feed, woke at 7.30am. I'm hoping this isn't just a fluke and that we have turned a corner. I don't know if it was the extra nap and later bedtime, the massage, combination of everything or just luck but I'm one happy mammy today!

SF12 thank you for the offer which I will gladly accept, I'm not naive enough to think we'll never have a bad phase again. But at least im happy to know that she has the potential to do it now. Thanks for all the suggestions, advice.

January

I'd like that PDF too if possible!

deh983

Me too pretty please

SF12

No problem - but - embarassingly - how do I attach a pdf to a PM???

I'm not seeing any obvious "attachment" button.

Ocean Blue

If possible, could I get the document too? Thanks a million

bp

And me please if you can figure out how to attach :-)

contrary_mary

Me too please! Desperately needing some sleep here!

hypergirl

Me too please. I have an 8 month old thats never gone more than 4 hours. He's my 3rd and I didn't have this issue with the others. You'd think id know what I am doing!

deh983

10.5 month old here and up every 2 hours last night!!! What am I doing wrong????!!!!!!

traineeacc

I had a very bad sleeper, he is not almost 3 now and it's massively improved. Some things that worked for us. We got tough on his own room! We used to let him in with us a lot even from early on, however I stuck with his own room and own bed! No crying it out but a lot of sitting with him in his room and slowly moving towards the door. Dinner was 5ish and light snack before bed. Down at 7.30 stories and snuggles and lights out by 8. It took a while and lots of tears (from me) but we got there! For a while there he was going to bed with us, yet up at 7 full of beans! I'm a new woman having reclaimed my evening! New baby on the way now so glad I stuck with improving bedtime routine. I won't lie when he was waking every 2 hours I never thought he would sleep anyway decent. While he is far from perfect sleeper now the improvement is huge.

cant26

deh983 wrote: »

10.5 month old here and up every 2 hours last night!!! What am I doing wrong????!!!!!!

That's tough going. I found my sons sleep was at its worst between 9 and 11 months. He would wake at least four times a night and would take forever to settle. I had just bought the no cry sleep solution book when one night he just slept!! He started crawling that week too so for us I think the night waking was developmental. The same happened a few months later when he started walking. Hopefully it will settle down for you soon, the nights are long and lonely when you're pacing the floors. Take care.

Sniipe

It hasn't been mentioned yet but could she be teething? Some babies get through it easier than others. Keep an eye out for the hand in mouth or red cheeks. Best of luck, it can be difficult. Crying it out might not be the solution.

Also try sharing the load (for your sanity) for those times when you know she shouldn't be hungry.

Sniipe

SF12 wrote: »

If you want, I have a pdf of a sleep manual, which is gentle sleep training, as mentioned by the last poster. Not just crying it out. It's been extremely useful for us, and a number of friends, and is divided up by age group. It's relatively short and an easy read. I can PM it to you if you are interested.

I'd love to get this also. If you haven't managed to attach it to a PDF send me a PM and I'll help you out.