Loved family cat attacking baby and mom

Algaranna

I rescued the cat 4 years ago during a bad spell of snow. She was small and malnourished. Actually tried to hand her in to the local vet and they said they had no room. She became my baby before I had a baby. She has lung issues so gets steroids twice a day and an anticongestent. When I found out I was pregnant we stopped allowing her to sleep in our room and I tried to reduce the crazy amount of cuddles I gave her to a more suitable level.

8 months ago we had the baby and I've done everything I can think of to try ease the cat. I'll be honest for the first few months I was focused very much on the baby and had ppd so found it difficult to give focus to other things. I also breastfeed and get touched out sometimes the last thing I want is a needy cat sitting on me after a day of Needy baby. Never mind the needy husband

Now the baby is on the move keeping them apart is a little tougher and the cat who had already expressed jealousy towards the baby has started attacking me and her unprovoked. As in baby will crawl by on the floor and cat is on the arm of the sofa when the cat will abruptly turn and strike at the baby claws out. It's not every time it's just been enough times that I'm getting worried. The cat has been acting skittish so I figured she was scared of the baby so I've tried to keep them apart a little more.

I might add the cat doesn't get jealous or aggressive if my husband is alone with the baby. Just me. She tries to get in between the baby and me and if I pet her while holding the baby she will nip my hand. So I've just stopped petting her around the baby to reduce the chance of bad behaviour.

I'll also add the cat has started meowing outside our door every morning at like 6-7am.

We don't want to get rid of the cat, she's a part of our family, but I'm afraid she's going to bite or claw the baby or myself or both of us. Can anyone suggest anything?

NIMAN

Sorry but there's only one answer here. Get rid.

Pumpkinseeds

NIMAN wrote: »

Sorry but there's only one answer here. Get rid.

Total bollo*

Pumpkinseeds

There are some interesting articles on how to get the cat used to the baby, I've put this in as an example. Many cats end up being abandoned or put in pounds/shelters when a new baby arrives. I hope you're feeling better, sounds like you've been having a very rough time of it.

http://www.vetinfo.com/cats-and-babies-tips-healthy-coexistence.html

3rdDegree

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

There are some interesting articles on how to get the cat used to the baby, I've put this in as an example. Many cats end up being abandoned or put in pounds/shelters when a new baby arrives. I hope you're feeling better, sounds like you've been having a very rough time of it.

http://www.vetinfo.com/cats-and-babies-tips-healthy-coexistence.html

Nothing concrete there that would alleviate any concerns I have. Training or reconditioning the cat as per that article could take a long time, and in the meantime, the cat could scar your baby for life. How would you feel if the cat took out the baby's eye? It only takes a second for that to happen.

In my opinion, It's too much of a risk. I know it's difficult, but I'd see about finding a new home for the cat.

ShaShaBear

3rdDegree wrote: »

Nothing concrete there that would alleviate any concerns I have. Training or reconditioning the cat as per that article could take a long time, and in the meantime, the cat could scar your baby for life. How would you feel if the cat took out the baby's eye? It only takes a second for that to happen.

In my opinion, It's too much of a risk. I know it's difficult, but I'd see about finding a new home for the cat.

Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people have successfully integrated a baby into a cat or dog inhabited household with little effort once done correctly. Dumping the cat with someone else when you have no idea what is causing it to act out in the first place (note, the cat is attacking the owner too, so the baby alone cannot be blamed) is only asking for more behavioural issues.
Don't be hasty yet OP, there are a few very cat-savvy people on here that could advise you further. I imagine, in the meantime, a method we've used on dogs here would work well with your cat? When we took our baby home, Shadow was given a piece of sausage or slice of ham every time he was in proximity to the baby. If he was close by and reacted positively (or no reaction at all) he was given a jackpot treat (more ham etc). In no less than three days he was fantastic with her, and was unphased by her crying or squealing. The same method worked for our foster dog who was never around children, and again with our very badly abused adopted pup, Opie. It also worked a treat with my MIL's elderly dog, who is terrified of children, and after just 4 visits began doting on my daughter. Maybe its worth cutting up a chicken fillet or some delicious meat, keeping it close by when you intend on having the cat and baby together, and offer her treats when she does not react?

Pumpkinseeds

There's an awful lot of scaremongering going on here. It's extremely unlikely that a cat would take out a baby's eye. Mostly it's a question of getting the baby used to the cat, which can be done by careful supervision and not leaving the cat alone with a baby. Thankfully most people don't dump their pets due to the old wives tales nonsense and a lack of patience. The cat is not sure what the baby is, and all the noise and new smells that go with a baby. It's also jealous of the attention the baby is getting. A child would also be jealous of a new baby and they often act out after the new arrival is brought home.

It's a matter of reassurance and common sense. Telling someone to get rid of their pet because they have a new baby and a jealous pet is not just ridiculous, it's obscene and a part of the reason that every rescue in Ireland is overwhelmed with unwanted pets.

Algaranna

Thanks pumpkinseeds and shashabear! Yea rehoming isn't an option for us. Firstly I love the cat and we have a pretty close bond. I personally think the cat is very jealous of the baby and getting angry at me for giving her any attention. I can hardly not pay attention to my child. I will start rewarding good behaviour that's a good suggestion. We have trained her to get her tablets with treats and you've never seen a cat so excited to get medicine. She even reminds us if we forget (rare occurrence). I'm also wondering if the steroids themselves are adding to the aggression I'm seeing.

Edit for spelling stupid autocorrect

Nody

Boards ate my post but in summary:

1) Cat highway - Get one in every room high enough that the baby can't reach up there for years; it will help your cat to regain territorial control in their mind.

2) Have your husband play a lot more with it (Da bird (see dangle toy with feather on Zooplus) or laser dot are usually working) to help exhaust her before feeding.

3) Start serving the pill (& treat) with baby in room on other side and then work the baby slowly closer over a month to help give the baby a positive association as well.

Day Lewin

I think Nody has the rights of it. Cats need "defensible space" far more than many people realise: also they need safe retreats and look-out posts. This helps them to feel safe and act less aggressive. They are also social and need greeting, acknowledging etc just like dogs.
But cats are not so good as pack animals at "social negotiation" and they may react to stress by either withdrawal, gaze aversion etc (eg going missing), by active aggression (as in your case) or sometimes by getting ill. [Could be urinary symptoms]
So I think the suggesstions above are good ones. Remember, she is intelligent, she can learn and be trained if you spend the time to structure her experience with rewards and routines etc.
Best of luck with your lovely little family!

3rdDegree

To the person who mentioned scare mongering, I would remind you that animals DO frequently disfigure children, so dismissing that possibility is not advisable.

Anyway, I kind of suspected you'd keep the cat and that all the advise you get here will be to keep the cat. This is an animal forum after all Obviously you don't need to be told to be careful op, I'm sure you will. You'd never forgive yourself if anything went wrong.

Really hope things work out for you and your entire family.

All the best.

ShaShaBear

3rdDegree wrote: »

To the person who mentioned scare mongering, I would remind you that animals DO frequently disfigure children, so dismissing that possibility is not advisable.

Anyway, I kind of suspected you'd keep the cat and that all the advise you get here will be to keep the cat. This is an animal forum after all Obviously you don't need to be told to be careful op, I'm sure you will. You'd never forgive yourself if anything went wrong.

Really hope things work out for you and your entire family.

All the best.

I can assure you if animals "frequently" disfigured children, people would not keep pets and the health system in Ireland would strictly monitor parents with pets at home. To say frequent suggests it happens more often than it does not, which is hogwash at best! I'd actually like to see statistics, because I would be quick to bet my last fiver that far more children seriously harm pets than the other way around!

But you are right, this is a pet forum, where the vast majority of us adore and love our pets and wouldn't see them unceremoniously dumped or euthanised simply because we procreated. It seems only probable that the OP would be looking for a solution to help acclimate to the new situation while ensuring her baby and pet are safe, meaning her cat can enjoy her previously obtained quality of life and the baby can retain all of the benefits of growing up in a household with a pet. And naturally, as animal lovers and very experienced folk by trial and error, we would have a wealth of advise to help her achieve what she, and any other honest animal lover, would want.

And finally, I am sure that if anything did happen, the OP would not blame herself in order to not be able to forgive herself in the first place. Unless of course, she was the one to disfigure her baby? I have a total of 5 bad (and visible) scars. One that ranges from my forehead to the back of my skull, another down my forehead down to my eyebrow, skin graft scars on my elbow and a small but unsightly scar on my lip. All obtained under the age of 7, none caused by an animal and all accepted by my parents as accidents that will happen through the course of being a parent.

daUbiq

3rdDegree wrote: »

To the person who mentioned scare mongering, I would remind you that animals DO frequently disfigure children, so dismissing that possibility is not advisable.

Anyway, I kind of suspected you'd keep the cat and that all the advise you get here will be to keep the cat. This is an animal forum after all Obviously you don't need to be told to be careful op, I'm sure you will. You'd never forgive yourself if anything went wrong.

Really hope things work out for you and your entire family.

All the best.

Frequently? really? You are scare mongering... :rolleyes:

3rdDegree

I guess it's to be expected that some of the responses here would be a bit defensive and even adversarial. I was only offering some advice. If everyone came on here and gave the exact same advice, there would be little point in anyone seeking help. It's the alternative views that people may find useful.

But i do agree with one of your points: Perhaps the word "frequent" was misplaced. But pets do attach children. To think otherwise is delusional and in some cases negligent. The OP needs to consider the possibility that the cat may harm her child and that maybe the safest thing to do would be to find an alternative home for the cat - not euthanize or abandon it. That was the only point I wanted to make. But it seems that is not something the OP wants to consider, so I guess we can move on now and offer other alternatives.

Many thanks.

borderlinemeath

I know nothing about cats, only dogs, but has the cat been to the vets to rule out any new illnesses or increase in pain? If your husband has been doing the lions share of the cat caring, including administering meds, the cat may be a lot more at ease with interaction with him, but if hiding pain then can act out of character, particularly if you yourself haven't had as much interaction as before.

I'd be doing my utmost to keep the cat and try and work with socialising the cat within the family. I'm expecting a baby myself this year and there's not a chance in hell the dogs will be shipped out to accommodate the new arrival. I know some people see pets just as animals but when you take them on it's a lifetime commitment, not just until a new baby arrives.

ShaShaBear

borderlinemeath wrote: »

I know nothing about cats, only dogs, but has the cat been to the vets to rule out any new illnesses or increase in pain? If your husband has been doing the lions share of the cat caring, including administering meds, the cat may be a lot more at ease with interaction with him, but if hiding pain then can act out of character, particularly if you yourself haven't had as much interaction as before.

I'd be doing my utmost to keep the cat and try and work with socialising the cat within the family. I'm expecting a baby myself this year and there's not a chance in hell the dogs will be shipped out to accommodate the new arrival. I know some people see pets just as animals but when you take them on it's a lifetime commitment, not just until a new baby arrives.

Ooooh, congrats!!!

Pumpkinseeds

3rdDegree wrote: »

To the person who mentioned scare mongering, I would remind you that animals DO frequently disfigure children, so dismissing that possibility is not advisable.

Anyway, I kind of suspected you'd keep the cat and that all the advise you get here will be to keep the cat. This is an animal forum after all Obviously you don't need to be told to be careful op, I'm sure you will. You'd never forgive yourself if anything went wrong.

Really hope things work out for you and your entire family.

All the best.

The only occassions of this I've heard of are dogs injuring children, again that is mostly due to the child hurting/scaring the dog and those attacks often happen when a child is left unsupervised with dogs. The pro's of having pets as part of the family outway the cons and there's plenty of scientific evidence to show that pets are beneficial to children in everything from helping to prevent allergies to helping kids cope with autism.

Of course the majority of posters have recommended keeping the cat, as you pointed out, it is a pet forum. Nobody would recommend that the OP keep a genuinely dangerous animal with a child. Plenty of people here have experience with integrating animals and children. We frequent this forum to advise and support each other.

RentDayBlues

It took our cat about a year to come around to our first, I felt awful for him. I had no time, I smelled different and the dynamic of the house had changed! I knew he had come around as he started to sit on my lap again and he is not a lap cat! At that stage I was pregnant again so he's now got two sisters to contend with!

He has scratched both of them, we keep his claws clipped every 2 months but it happens. It's less now, they kids leave him to it to a certain extent and he's just used to them.

I read some articles on getting the toddler to leave him alone, which is tough as he's an interesting toy! One suggested discipline the toddler and giving attention to the cat when incidences occurred, which worked well for us. Really glad you're keeping the cat, the amount of people who assumed we'd get rid when we had kids was so sad

borderlinemeath

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Ooooh, congrats!!!

We're still in shock ShaSha, and I'm at the age where if I were a dog, the experts would be giving out shiite that I'm too old to be bred from!:D:D:D